The Dads of Twilight

Charlie Swan

Occupation: Police Chief

Carlisle Cullen

Occupation: Physician

Billy Black

Occupation: Quileute council leader and disability

Edward Cullen

Occupation: Student for over 90 years

Charlie

Divorced

Bella (24, looks 18 for eternity)

Carlisle

Married for 90 years

Adopted vampires Edward, Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie

Billy

Widower

Jacob (21), twins Rebecca and Rachel (25)

Edward

Newlywed

Renesmee Cullen (5, in human-vampire hybrid years)

Charlie

Earns between $35,605 to $49,640 a year

Carlisle

Forbes estimates $34.1 billion

Billy

Median income of Native American households is $35,343. That's a fair guess since he's essentially unemployed.

Edward

Billions in family money

Charlie

Hands-off. Only sees daughter on holidays until she's 17. Shows as much emotion as a vampire, so it makes sense that his daughter falls for one.

Carlisle

Permissive and lenient. Allows his adopted offspring to do anything short of murder and pays their bills well into adulthood.

Billy

Authoritative. Doesn't give Jacob many choices, only allowing him to be a wolf when he grows up.

Edward

Reads daughter's mind. She will never be able to get away with anything.

Charlie

Spends most of his time working and fishing, unless Bella makes dinner for him.

Carlisle

Despite being a busy doctor, finds time to play baseball, throw parties and fight evil vampires with his family.

Billy

Unemployed, he has all the time in the world to hang with Jacob.

Edward

Still a new parent, he makes time to take his daughter hunting, when he's not occupied with saving her life from Volturi.

Charlie

Started family on whim and wasn't active in raising daughter.

Carlisle

Randomly adopts children like he's Angelina Jolie in a third-world country.

Billy

Seemed to plan well, until his wife suddenly passed away.

Edward

Considered abortion and doesn't practice safe sex. To be fair, vampires have no bodily fluids, so how could he know?

Charlie

"The right thing isn’t always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So… good luck figuring that out."

Carlisle

"Don’t get your family slaughtered for pride."

Billy

"What I meant to say was, don’t do what you’re doing."

Edward

"You’re awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

Charlie

High. Being an absent and unresponsive father can give women "daddy issues" and create strippers (allegedly). If Bella hadn't fallen for a vampire, her life would look more like "Welcome to the Rileys."

Carlisle

Medium. When you adopt grown children, it can be a grab bag of potential psych issues. Still, Carlisle is really rich, smart, loving and can beat up any pimp, drug dealer or strip club owner.

Billy

High. Not totally his fault since his wife died when his kids were young. Still, he's not close with his daughters and his son is constantly taking off his clothes in public for free.

Edward

Medium. When Jacob, a much older man, "imprints" on Renesmee, Eddie still allows his daughter to see him. Kind of creepy and sends the wrong message for healthy relationships. However, they're rich and she'll have a strong education, so she won't need the money for college.