Quotes

- There are 4 big questions out their right, who? and why? and no scientist is gonna answer that. That's belief and religion stuff and then theirs what? and how? and thats the realm of science.

- The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

When you're good at something, you'll tell everyone.
When you're great at something, they'll tell you.

- You know there are all sorts of crisis happening in the world at any one time, you know with food and energy and so on. Now I'm not suggesting we return to a Maoist China you know, but if you got all those people that read celebrity news and put them to work on treadmills generating electricity or whatever; as long as you let them hang on to the magazines, they wouldn't even notice.

- You can stop believing in God, but you have to leave the devil to explain a few things.

- It's a myth that men don't have their own version of PMT, of course they do - every woman knows this. It's a very simple experiment to conduct, all you've got to do is be with a man, wait until he starts doing something and then go up and talk to him. "WHAT?! What is it now?! I'm opening fish fingers can't you see?! You come in here, walking on the floor - breathing the air like it's yours - talking and talking and I'm doing something! Look they've fallen on the floor, are you happy?! Are you happy now?! Every time I try and do something for myself, you carbonize and then shit on my dreams... You're just like your whole family! Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?!"

- I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.

- Why not? Some people do drugs and go out every weekend. I build a water park.

- Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

- Sleep is God. Go worship.

-Fake realities will create fake humans. Or, fake humans will generate fake realities and then sell them to other humans, turning them, eventually, into forgeries of themselves.

- They misunderestimated me.

- I think war is a dangerous place.

- There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee; that says, fool me once... shame on... shame on you... fool me you can't get fooled again.

- Rarely is the question asked,... our... is our children learning?

- If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator.

- See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.

- I have nothing to convey in my photographs, nothing in particular to say. The statements come from the subjects that are represented, be they men or women. I wait for the subjects to surrender, to yield themselves over. I have something to photograph, but nothing to express.

- It's hostile in that you're trying to make somebody see something the way you see it, trying to impose your idea, your picture. It's hostile to try to wrench around someone else's mind that way. Quite often you want to tell somebody your dream, your nightmare. Well, nobody wants to hear about someone else's dream, good or bad; nobody wants to walk around with it. The writer is always tricking the reader into listening to the dream.

- Life is more fun if you play games.

- Lo que se ve no se pregunta.

- If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

- Facts are stupid things.

- To me, I’m Lando, I love that Donald Glover. He’s a brilliant young man. But his hair was not how I thought of Lando. He was more Afrocentric with his hair. I have nothing against that. But when I created Lando, he was beyond all of that. I think that’s the reason they didn’t have the success they could have had, Because they were going for something that was topical, instead of an adventure that’s far beyond those questions.

- You promised me Mars colonies. Instead, I got Facebook.

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- Ladies of rank and beauty, shiners, enchanters, take it as your duty to inspire the poet's poem or epigrammatic witticism but keep your pretty paws off dramatic criticism.

- The ability of the Japanese to adapt themselves to the most adverse circumstances, and to find in them not only peace, but dignity, is certainly unique in the world.

- Pandering to human weaknesses.

- Girls say to me, very reasonably, ‘why isn’t it a bunch of girls? Why did you write this about a bunch of boys?’ Well, my reply is I was once a little boy — I have been a brother, a father, I am going to be a grandfather. I have never been a sister, or a mother, or a grandmother. That’s one answer. Another answer is of course to say that if you, as it were, scaled down human beings, scaled down society, if you land with a group of little boys, they are more like a scaled-down version of society than a group of little girls would be. Don’t ask me why, and this is a terrible thing to say because I’m going to be chased from hell to breakfast by all the women who talk about equality — this is nothing to do with equality at all. I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been. But one thing you can’t do with them is take a bunch of them and boil them down, so to speak, into a set of little girls who would then become a kind of image of civilisation, of society. The other thing is &mdashl why aren’t they little boys AND little girls? Well, if they’d been little boys and little girls, we being who we are, sex would have raised its lovely head, and I didn’t want this to be about sex. Sex is too trivial a thing to get in with a story like this, which was about the problem of evil and the problem of how people are to live together in a society, not just as lovers or man and wife.

- If you want to kill a big dream, tell it to a small-minded person.

- Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!

- How hard can this be!? You're professional football players! Do your job! ...Stay outta jail and practice football!

- What is the resolution of real life?

- But because we don't have the skills, we can only make fun of people and their hard work.

- I can do "Stealth because if you blow everybody away there is no one there to hear you"

- Everything taste better when it tries to eat you before you eat it, show that steak who's boss.

- Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

- People enjoy learning but they don't enjoy being educated.

- Work helps us escape from three evils: Boredom, vice and poverty.

- I would rather have written "Cheers" than anything I've written.

- If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

- As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

- Find something more important than you are and dedicate your life to it.

- Our search for meaning and purpose in life has a huge biological effect. We subordinate our genetic interest for other interests. We are the only animal that does this. "The subordination of genetic interest to other interests."

- The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

- Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.

- Hi, welcome to fuck me silly.

- The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating... you finish off as an orgasm.

- I recently heard about a mass murderer who killed seventeen people in three days... they say he was a loner. Well, of course he was. He apparently killed everyone he came in contact with!

- I had a great conversation with Albert Brooks once. When I met him for the first time, I was kind of stammering. I said, you make movies, they live on forever. I just do these late-night shows, they get lost, they’re never seen again and who cares? And he looked at me and he said, [Albert Brooks voice] “What are you talking about? None of it matters.” None of it matters? “No, that’s the secret. In 1940, people said Clark Gable is the face of the 20th Century. Who [expletive] thinks about Clark Gable? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. We’ll all be forgotten.” It’s so funny because you’d think that would depress me. I was walking on air after that.

- No movie shall triumph over Snakes on a Plane. Unless I happen to feel like making a movie called More Motherfucking Snakes on More Motherfucking Planes.

- We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves.

- Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

- My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

- Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today.

- If you're going to sit down and take 3 hours out of your day to watch me on TV, I have an obligation to give you my best.

- He's as unstoppable as tomorrow. (Jim Murray about MJ)

- Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

- I think for me it’s a further reflection of the distance these days between the world around us and reality and this sense of alienation we all feel from this incredible information overload that we have.

- The more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.

- There is nothing quite so tragic as a young cynic, because it means the person has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.

- No one is more dangerous than someone who thinks he has "The Truth". To be an atheist is almost as arrogant as to be a fundamentalist. But then again, I can get pretty arrogant.

- Ay, coronel, le dijo la sirvienta: Usted no tiene pelos en la lengua, y mi abuelo le dijo: porque vos no querés preciosa!...

- Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep.

- We get hung up on statistics a little too much, and I think that's a bad trait all over the league that's taken place. And the media has done it because it's easy to go to the stats to make a point or to build up a player or tear down a player. Just the analyzing, I see it every time listening to talk show radio. You've got guys spouting off stat after stat after stat. The bottom line is going out and contributing to your team for winning.

- There's a lot to be said about stats, but there's a lot to be said about heart, toughness, courage and bravery to go in the big moment.