My Favorite TV Characters

LORELAI GILMORE
from Gilmore Girls

"We can't be lost; we don't know where we're going."

"Voices in your head? Totally normal, right... there's only two. That speak English."

Lorelai: Do you want a soda?
Dean: No, thanks. I'm gonna go. Uh, don't tell Rory I was here, okay?
Lorelai: Hey, I'm just sitting here at the table talking to myself. . .again.

SHELDON COOPER
from The Big Bang Theory

"And I'm not insane... my mother had me tested."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what social situation this is. Could you give me some guidance in how to proceed?"

"BAZINGA!"

ABBY SCIUTO
from NCIS

"I am the Energizer bunny of forensic science: I never sleep and I never give up."

"McGee, never forget: I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence."

"I hope I'm not interrupting something. Or if I am, someone will tell me about it later."

DAMON SALVATORE
from Vampire Diaries

"There's no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones."

"Are you worried that one day, all the forest animals are gonna band together and fight back? I mean surely they talk."

DR. SPENCER REID
from Criminal Minds

"I find I do some of my best work under intense terror."

Spencer Reid: Are you hacking into the government HMO database? Is that legal?
Penelope Garcia: Of course not. We'll both go to prison and you'll be someones bitch.
Spencer Reid: Really?

PAM
from True Blood

"Let's go to the ladies room and stare at ourselves in the mirror."

"I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember I can rip your throat out if I need to. And also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago."

PENELOPE GARCIA
from Criminal Minds

"Office of Unfettered Omniscience - how may I help you, O fortunate one?"

Garcia: He who seeks the "Queen of All Knowledge," speak and be recognized.
Reid: Garcia, we're sending you some cigarettes.
Garcia: Why not a flesh-eating virus? It'll be faster and far less painful.
Reid: We need some butts rushed to the lab for DNA analysis.
Garcia: Reid... I love it when you say 'butts.'

CARA
from Legend of The Seeker

DR. MIRANDA BAILEY
from Grey's Anatomy

ERIC NORTHMAN
from True Blood

Eric [to Pam]: You know I love you more when you're cold and heartless.

"Pam... those were great pumps."

"Sookie, Sookie. My bullshit meter is reading that as a ‘false.’"

ZIVA DAVID
from NCIS

"I will kill you 18 different ways with this paperclip!"

"If you want someone dead, you knock on their door, they answer you shoot them. Easy."

Anthony DiNozzo: "Body Heat." William Hurt, Kathleen Turner. Smart-noir. I like the whole sweaty, chair-through-glass-door thing.
Ziva David: I prefer the air conditioner on, and if somebody threw a chair through my door, I would probably shoot them.

RICHARD CASTLE
from Castle

"Cuff me once, shame on you. Cuff me twice, shame on me." [Pulls a key from his wallet, then drops it out of reach] "Oh."

Alexis Castle: How come we never had a nanny?
Richard Castle: Well your mother and I decided if someone was going to screw you up, we wanted it to be me.

BROOKE DAVIS
from One Tree Hill

"I am fluent in boy and I'm pretty sure that "what's the rush?" doesn't mean "let's have a baby now."

DR. RAY LIVINGSTON
from CSI

"Usually, when people say they're doing something for the good of others, that usually means they're doing it for themselves."

JESSICA HAMBY
from True Blood

"We get it. You don't like vampires. Well, I don't like narrow-minded skinny bitches with bad dye jobs."

"Lady, you have no idea how little control I have over my actions! You also do not know I have not eaten in days!"

TEMPERANCE BRENNAN
from Bones

"It appears I've hurt your feelings."

Bones: Director Hacker wants to have sex with me.
Booth: Whoa. He said that?
Bones: Well he said dinner but the implication was clear.

KATE BECKETT
from Castle

"You do know I'm wearing a gun?"

"This isn't phone sex, Ryan. You don't just pay for the two minutes that you used."

JACK HODGINS
from Bones

"Angela, if we were a Peruvian soccer team and crashed in the Andes, who would you rather eat? Me or Zack?"

Dr. Hodgins: Someone ran me down with a car.
Dr. Brennan: We knew that already.
Dr. Hodgins: Yeah, but now we've proved it and I find I'm very annoyed.

VERONICA MARS
from Veronica Mars

"Well, actually, despite popular opinion you really can't beat the truth out of someone."

"If I ever die, do me a favor. Go on Oprah and tell the world that I loved kittens."

"I hope we're still friends after I taser you."