Because I Was Curious, Dammit!

Quite possibly the worst movie ever made. It sucks so much that it makes a Chuck Norris marathon look good in comparison. I didn't even bother to finish watching it.

How to sum up this movie? Batshit insane comes to mind. That may be an exaggeration, but it's pretty wacky. It also gets slow at times, but at least it's interesting.

Like Porno Holocaust, this one is so shitty that I didn't even bother to finish watching it. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it sucks considering that Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker are the stars.
Want to know how shitty I think this movie is? Zooey Deschanel is the highlight of the movie - and I absolutely fucking hate her character Kit.

This one is actually pretty damn good! It turned out to be considerably better than I expected. Yes, it is definitely sick and twisted. Most of the violence, however, is much more cartoonish than disturbing - imagine Itchy and Scratchy as yakuza!

This is the most disturbing movie I have ever seen. While it has an interesting story and good acting, it is one of those movies that will fuck with your mind for life.

UPDATE October 2015: Martyrs is no longer the most disturbing movie I have ever seen. That distinction goes to Cannibal Ferox. Martyrs is disturbing in a good way, while Cannibal Ferox is a piece of shit that includes real violence - towards animals.

You can always count on the Russians for some crazy shit, in both a good way and a bad way. This is one of the most disturbing movies I have ever seen, second only to Martyrs. It is sick and twisted . . . and based on a true story!

Some dude named Lars buys a sex doll and believes that it is a real human. I laughed my ass off at first, but it soon became more sad than funny. At times it got slow moving, but it least it's a better love story than Twilight.

What in Divine's bunghole did I watch? I was expecting this piece of shit to be funny, but the only purpose is apparently to shock viewers. Strangely, it isn't even shocking, just totally fucking stupid.
The highlight of this film is watching drag queen Divine eating fresh dog shit. I wish I were joking.

What kind of person creates this kind of insane shit? A sick and twisted person of course. The strangest thing about this movie is that it wasn't really shocking at all, just sick.
At least Dieter Laser did a great job as the insane Dr. Heiter.

I'm pretty sure that the only purpose of this movie is to make viewers vomit. It is a lot worse than the first one. It makes the first one look like a Disney movie in comparison.
Why did I watch it? Curiosity, of course.

It sure as hell isn't the Godfather, Goodfellas or even Godfather Part 3!

It's actually not bad. Zooey Deschanel gave one of the best performances of her career and Don Cheadle did a great job.

Usually, I dislike Tarantino movies, but this one had me curious. On the one hand, it's a Tarantino movie. On the other, I love the idea of a former slave getting revenge.
This one is pretty damn good! It almost makes up for Pulp Fiction.

Quite possibly the best depiction of voodoo in movie history.

This was supposed to be "50 Shades of Grey on Steroids." Well, if that's true, then 50 Shades must be as boring as golf, because this piece of shit is pretty damn weak.

Holy shit! This piece of shit is actually worse than Porno Holocaust. It is absolutely fucking disgusting! It is the most disturbing movie I've seen, more disturbing than Martyrs. At least Martyrs is disturbing in a good way and there is no real violence in it. There actually is real footage of violence towards animals. Anybody who enjoys such cruelty to animals deserves to be institutionalized and lobotomized . . . oh, fuck it, those types of people deserve to be fed to sharks - and let's start with Umberto Lenzi!

If you're curious - please for the love of God, don't bother seeing this or Cannibal Holocaust!

I was confused by the title "Micmacs", which I assumed was a reference to the Micmac people of eastern Quebec and the Canadian Maritimes. This one turned out to be pretty good, regardless.