my 2021 movie diary ✿

This is probably one of Jess Franco's most ridiculous movies. Dude was basically just paying Soledad Miranda to grind all over him lmao. He would so get #metoo'd today. Aside from some uncomfortably bad scenes, Soledad does a badass job in playing a vengeful bad bitch. Did Quentin Tortellini copy this vibe for Kill Bill? Probably. However, She Killed in Ecstasy is vastly inferior to Vampyros Lesbos. It comes off as absurd and it's comedic to see the overdramatic methods in which Soledad kills her victims. But Jess Franco was never known for his subtlety.

I love this adaptation of Dorian Gray! It's very stylish and psychedelic. While I found it perfect, apparently a lot of critics dislike it because it's flamboyant and over the top. How boring are people, srsly?

There's nothing more iconic than a gay icon like Helmut Berger playing Oscar Wilde's most famous character. He really portrays well the narcissistic cold-bloodedness of Dorian as he becomes more and more vain, shallow and evil throughout the story. The costumes and styling are impeccable, and everyone is wearing the greatest outfit ever. Massimo Dallamano did a lit job in adapting Dorian Gray to the degenerate swingin' late 60s of London.

This visually gorgeous giallo has the slowest plot action everr. There's a shockingly melodramatic twist ending, but by the time the movie gets to that point the audience is already asleep. Helmut Berger gives an amazing performance as an emotionally disturbed and vengeful lover, and the cinematography of the Italian cityscape is impressive. Too bad the script writer was smoking crack.

When it comes to fucked up movies, Joe D'Amato can't be beat. WHY do I subject myself to nightmarish movies like this? Well I guess it's just morbid curiosity. From the screenshots, Emanuelle in America looks almost like a well-polished travel v-log from the 1970s, with beautiful people and classy locations.

Under this masquerade, however, lies what is probably the most disturbing sexploitation movie the pervert ever churned out. It can't decide whether it wants to be an exploitation movie, a porno or a horror film, and that's the problem. Luckily, this movie is very well preserved on a restored HD print, so you can see Laura Gemser's perfect skin in 1080p. Aside from her, I don't really see anything salvageable about this trash.

Ok so I have a huge girlcrush on Laura Gemser. Who wouldn't? She's absolutely gorgeous and I love watching her onscreen. I think it stems from the fact that despite how gritty, offensive, strange and hardcore her films got, she always seemed to have an air of dignity and charm about her. Sure she acted in the most perverse and grotesque films known to man, but she was still angelic.

The Black Emanuelle films were probably the trashiest B-movie series in 1970s Italy, and that's saying a lot. Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals is a product of the perverted mind of director Joe D'Amato. He tried to make an erotic film + a ripoff of Cannibal Holocaust and the result is an utter disaster.





The film opens with vulgar sex scenes featuring the bored-looking main stars, and then dissolves into gore, madness and sickening violence in the Amazon jungle. D'Amato of course includes disgusting and over-the-top cannibalism scenes, as he enjoys doing, and it's just like dude. wtf. Italian directors smoke crack lmfao.

This movie is no masterpiece, but it's essential for Laura Gemser stans AKA total weirdos. I also really love the romantic scenes featuring Laura and her co-star/husband Gabriele Tinti. They seemed genuinely in love and were married until his death:

This is the most expensive Yugoslav film ever made, and yet it's STILL impossible to find a decent rip of it. The original copy is 3 hours long, but I only found a barely 2 hour long copy in 240p quality with a shitty English overdub.

I can't help but feel that this movie is nothing more than poorly made patriotic propaganda, and a grandiose waste of money. The bridge on the River Neretva was built and destroyed twice for an explosion sequence, yet that footage wasn't even used in the film because the smoke was so thick. Just lol at those commie fools.

Anyways this movie is an interesting effort from Tito to glorify himself, so it is worth checking out if you're into Balkan history. It's very boring and uninspired tho. Also there are some bizarre cameos.

There's a stoic Franco Nero:



A bald and badass Yul Brynner who is top billed even though he only appears for like 5 minutes:



And a most likely drunk Orson Welles:

Girl this movie was insanee. Like legiterally. I'm a huge fan of both Helmut Berger and Marisa Mell, so this film was very fun to watch. It is jam packed from start to finish with sex, violence and madness.

Helmut gives an explosive over the top performance as a deranged criminal named Nanni Vitali. For the whole movie, Nanni can not stop beating up and torturing people; even raping them and burying them alive. The violence is so ridiculous that it elevates Mad Dog Killer to the point of becoming an exploitation film. And to be honest, it's lit!

Both Helmut and Marisa lived wild lives and partied hard, and you can see that on their faces here. They're aged, but still beautiful and talented. The soundtrack by Umberto Smaila is v cool, and my most hated director Tarantino used some clips of this film in Jackie Brown. But Mad Dog Killer is the original; it's the type of truly brutal and exciting B-movie he WISHES he could make jfl.

Not gonna lie, this movie is hot lmao. But the ending is very sick and twisted. Franco Nero and Lisa Gastoni both turn in fantastic performances.

Lisa stars as a shopkeeper in WWII Paris who cucks her beta husband and has an affair with her dumb brute shop boy played by Franco. The pair become embroiled in an intense sadomasochistic relationship that ends in a shocking and violent manner.

The shadows and lighting by cinematographer Vittorio Storaro are on point, and the film has an aesthetically beautiful yet grim appearance. This movie isn't just some cheap piece of smut, but is actually very well made and haunting.

So I was on a Franco Nero marathon and I decided to try out this D-list movie he starred in during the late 80s, hoping it would at least be an interesting curio. I barely managed to download a 240p crappy VHS copy of the film, and it literally looked like a $5 budget TV movie.

Franco stars as a middle aged Swedish (LOL) man who has an affair with a snotty British schoolgirl who is actually a psychopath. Everything about this movie is weak but there was some nice cinematography and I was glad they didn't dub Franco's voice as most movies usually did because he has a heavy Italian accent.