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Added by Severin Severin on 7 Feb 2020 09:23
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my 2020 movie diary ♥

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People who added this item 70 Average listal rating (44 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 7.2
The Mercenary (1969)




I love spaghetti westerns, even moreso than Hollywood ones, because they have this exotic Italian flair to them. And I love westerns in general because they take us back to a time when man was not yet bound by the shackles of industry and commerce, when man was still an independent engineer of his own fate, riding a graceful horse into the fiery sunset with a pistol on his hip.

Il Mercenario stars 2 of my faves: Franco Nero and Jack Palance, as well as Tony Musante as the goofy comedic relief guy. The film is basically a ripoff of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly but is still fantastic in its own right, full of charm, panoramic Spanish desert shots, and a stirring soundtrack by Ennio Morricone.

This film is very pro-revolution and radical which sounds funny but there are great scenes where revolutionaries rob and kill corrupt military and government officials. But most westerns have a man VS the establishment bent in general.

Imo, Franco Nero is the pinnacle of badassery and masculinity. This type of man is almost nonexistent in the modern era. Il Mercenario is a total classic, the last scene left a smile on my face I enjoyed it sm.
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People who added this item 1329 Average listal rating (847 ratings) 6.3 IMDB Rating 6.7
Contagion (2011)



My bf insisted we watch this movie in lieu of the coronavirus outbreak, and since I was too tired to change the channel I was like lol k. What we got was a hysterical cockroach IQ tier Hollywood disaster flick created obviously by a dumb American who could only fear-monger and spread hatred, distrust and paranoia with such a veritable garbage bag of a film.

Steven Sodomy-bergh is such a horrible director, I legit cannot stand this guy. His movies are all extremely dried up and sterile, lacking any charisma, personality or beauty. He just hires dozens of lame, washed-up Hollywood stars who are bloated with money (pudgy Matt Damon, balding Jude Law, wrinkling Gwyneth Paltrow, sexless Kate Winslet), and tints the film vomit-green and piss-yellow in post production because it looks like so edgy, man.

Jude plays a conspiracy theorist who distrusts government narratives regarding the disease outbreak in the film, and of course he is depicted as a total retard and asshole. Meanwhile the government officials, while slightly deceptive, are shown as the good guys. Just lol.

The fake virus in this movie has a lot of similarities to coronavirus, and it's eerie tbh: the virus in the film is shown as occurring due to bats, who spread the disease to pigs, who in turn spread it to a Chinese chef who didn't wash his hands lol who touches Gwyneth Paltrow who in turns spreads it to white ppl. Sometimes I feel as if the world is some kind of bizarre mindgame, what can one even make of shit like this?
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Dario Argento is a very hit-or-miss director, and this was a fucking miss. As I had bitched in section# 1 of this diary, giallo can be a very grating genre. In this film, you have to sit through a lot of badly written police procedural dialogue, dry tableaus of Tony Musante acting like a moron, and plot twists that they shouldn't even have bothered with.

You see elements of greatness, for example the murder scenes are extremely well shot and look very glamorous. Argento was just settling into his directing style, as this was his first directing effort. If not for his name, this film would probably have been mostly forgotten.
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People who added this item 240 Average listal rating (138 ratings) 7.3 IMDB Rating 7.2
Violent Cop (1989)



Takeshi Kitano is a Cool Guy, Takeshi will fuck you up. Takeshi will devote a 5 minute long shot to him slapping a guy until he is bloodied, and put this scene in the film at least 10 times. Is that wrong?

Despite myself, I was shocked by many scenes in this film. They were just so, like totally, violent! As the title says. A stylish 1980s Japanese gangster film with a Dirty Harry-esque cop character, and a very dope soundtrack which includes a remixed version of Gnossienne No. 1 by Erik Satie as the theme song. I love it.
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People who added this item 1712 Average listal rating (1043 ratings) 7.1 IMDB Rating 7.2




A classic "white people go to India to find spiritual transcendence" uWu movie. While I enjoyed the cinematography, the soundtrack and certain aesthetics in this movie, I was so triggered by the 3 protagonists' ugly faces and lame acting, as well as the idiotic storyline and the extreme cuckold directing style and nature of Wes Anderson.

This is why I was never interested in this dude's movies: his movies are sooo lukewarm, you never get a feeling of intensity or urgency, they're all just laid back and uninteresting to the point that they resemble a children's movie. So Wes has to really structure what we see of India, we don't see any of the real weirdness and filth of the country, it's totally sterilized.

The 3 brothers are supposed to spiritually ascend at the end because they throw away heavy bags of luggage they have been dragging around India for the entire movie. I was shook that the act of throwing away suitcases was supposed to be considered the revolutionary crescendo of the film, when like most ppl in India don't even have 1 suitcase worth of possessions lmao as if it is so difficult to reject materialism. When you're poor, you have no choice, but when you're as annoying as Owen Wilson, you are guaranteed a place in hell.
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People who added this item 106 Average listal rating (68 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 7.5


Jean Vigo was literally on crack. Born to an anarchist father who was murdered in prison, he was familiar with the concept of thug lyf from a very young age. So the portrait he paints of Nice is a one exposing profligate degeneracy, contrasted with sickening poverty.

You see shots of a boy whose entire body has been rotten with leprosy, due to lack of adequate medical care. Then you see shots of grinning, toothless rich women with hairy armpits, dancing with their cooch to the camera, living it up. This is the mystery of Nice, and all big cities for that matter: how can some live so well, while others are literally decaying from head to toe out of poverty?

Marxism aside, this is an interesting portal into a bygone era of the French Riviera. It's weird seeing Nice in black and white, since the sun and colorfulness are in fact what make the place beautiful. God, I need a fucking vacation among wealthy tourist parasites and 80 year old retirees who go to Nice to die!
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People who added this item 143 Average listal rating (110 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 7.6
Uncut Gems (2019)


This is- dare I say it- Adam Sandler's magnum opus. This is the peak of all things Sandler. If you were dumb enough to be a fan of this man in your childhood, he pays you back tenfold in this movie.

Many have described this film as a high cortisol rollercoaster of emotion and stress. Adam plays a very dumb and un-self aware jeweler who can't stop making shitty deals with people who want to kill him. He is constantly abused throughout, by his wife, mistress, clients, employees, you name it. This all peaks in a crescendo of shocking violence- the ending is amazing and will traumatize you. This is Adam Sandbag's long awaited redemption.
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People who added this item 59 Average listal rating (45 ratings) 6.8 IMDB Rating 7.4
La Chèvre (1981)


I blame my bf for making us watch this movie as it was his pick. While I can tolerate Gerard Depardieu's idiocy, Pierre Richard was a bit too much for me. Over the top, moronic, often painfully unfunny vintage French humour, set in a sunny Mexican landscape. Okay to watch when you're high and could care less, but forgettable all in all.
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People who added this item 152 Average listal rating (80 ratings) 7.6 IMDB Rating 7.5
The Butcher (1970)



A tense and well-made thriller from Claude Chabrol, and the first film I've seen of his. It stars his wife of the time, Stephane Audran, and features a creepy performance from Jean Yanne.

Le Boucher is set in a paradisaical French village on the Dordogne, where a series of eerie murders occur. The protagonist, a schoolteacher, friendzones a dorky butcher who has dark secrets. At the end, there is a disturbing speech from the killer, who describes his fascination with blood.

Although this is a good film, the ending seems a bit tacked on and the reveal could've been less shit. Even so, it's still way better than most retarded Hollywood thriller flicks fr.
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People who added this item 922 Average listal rating (540 ratings) 6.5 IMDB Rating 6.9



This is a movie that took idiocy to new and soaring heights. Or should I say lows? This is a thriller with 0 thrills. Glenn Close is supposed to play a psycho violent bitch character but she just ends up appearing pitiful more than anything.

Apparently, producers were initially hesitant to cast Glenn because they thought she was too ugly. I would have agreed TBH though Michael Douglas is a melted bird himself. Together they make a grotesque on-screen pairing. In the film, he cheats on his wife with lovely Glenn, and his 2-dimensional cardboard cutout of a wife takes him back despite this. What a wonderful romance! That Hollywood happy ending tho.

Boring, badly made, dull, and dumb- fatal stupidity is what this be. You know that a movie is lame when the peak of horror is supposed to be Glenn Close boiling Michael Douglas' pet bunny rabbit. My French bf informed me that rabbit is a succulent dish back home lmao meanwhile in the USA it's comparable to killing a dog. Stick with watching an 80s Brian DePalma thriller instead of this lukewarm trash.
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People who added this item 70 Average listal rating (42 ratings) 7.1 IMDB Rating 7.4



Despite the presence of 3 legends of the French film industry (Jean Gabin, Lino Ventura, and Alain Delon), this movie was drier than my skin when I forget to put lotion on it. Nothing happens in The Sicilian Clan, and when it does, it's low IQ and boring.

This film contains one of the dumbest plane hijacking sequences I've ever seen. I'm sure the guys who did 9/11 watched this and mocked it. Gabin plays a Siclian mafia patriarch, which is funny because he is literally pale as a ghost and clearly from the North of France. Not the best French crime film, I would recommend anything by Melville instead.
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People who added this item 127 Average listal rating (68 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 7.7



Even though I was triggered by Claire's Knee, I decided to give another Rohmer movie a chance. Bad idea. This guy should literally kill himself lmaooo.

This is yet another tale of an unattractive perverted middle aged man freely lusting over hordes of women who are hotter than him, and getting pursued by them in return. This is clearly the self-masturbatory fantasy of Rohmer; his sexual fantasies made real on celluloid.

The most upsetting part is that the protagonist is a married man who keeps debating on whether to cheat on his wife. And we're supposed to sympathize with his fantasies of infidelity and find them interesting. His love interest is Zouzou, the strangest looking crackhead I've ever seen.

So basically, the lizard-like bargain basement David Bowie lookalike of a protagonist is preyed upon by a horny Zouzou, and they recite extremely dumb dialogue that is supposed to be intellectual and self-aware. It is not. The wife is merely a one-dimensional character with no thought of her own, and just a foil to fuel the main character's annoying dreams of having sex with other, supposedly more intellectually stimulating women.

I was bored to tears, and disgusted by the decrepit lack of morals that Rohmer kept pushing onto his "sexually liberated" 1970s audience. I don't think he would've found the concept of cheating so amusing if it was his wife who decided to create such a film.
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People who added this item 58 Average listal rating (34 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 7.3



This movie should just be called "Isabelle Adjani is really hot, so we are going to show you her tits and ass for 2 hrs." That was basically the whole selling point.

Alain Souchon is one of the ugliest dudes I've ever seen, and it was bewildering seeing him paired with this goddess of a woman. To even see them simulate sex is traumatic. The man looks like a drowned insect with fried hair jfl.

I'll stop bullying the man but the plot is a total disappointment and so bad. Isabelle plays a vengeful femme fatale who never really does anything tbh the entire film builds to a big fat nothing.

However, Southern France is such an astoundingly heavenly place, and you get the same vibe of magnificent French summertime beauty as Claire's Knee. So while One Deadly Summer is another perverted excuse for a film, the beauty of Isabelle Adjani and the Côte d'Azur are pleasant enough to justify sitting through it.
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People who added this item 159 Average listal rating (88 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 7.7
Claire's Knee (1970)



Since I had never seen an Eric Rohmer film before, I decided to watch this because I'm a pretentious pseudo intellectual. What I got in return was a psychological abortion.

Jean-Claude Brialy plays the most amazing middle aged pervert weirdo of a man I've ever seen. He is a short and skinny little homme with a beard larger than him, but we are supposed to believe he is a playa who has fucked many hoes. He continually tries to bang teen girls throughout the film, and it is embarassingly cringeworthy.

The plot is just so dumb: this old creep is obsessed with touching an attractive teen girl's knee, and we have to hear him endlessly fantasize and rhapsodize on this. Why are French people so horny, and then try to cover it up with intellectualism lmao?

The scenery on Lake Annecy is beautifully presented, and the film is set in a perfect summer idyll of sunshine and freshness. For the classy views and atmosphere are what redeem this utter garbage bag of a film.
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People who added this item 65 Average listal rating (35 ratings) 6 IMDB Rating 5.5



I'm not sure how to feel about Jean Rollin. His movies are basically just disjointed and poorly made low budget softcore horror porn, and that's not really a bad thing imo, but in this case, it's kind of comic.

The plot is just this: 2 young girls are continually stalked and molested by vampires in a French chateau. There are so many feeble filler scenes where nothing happens, or like pointless nudity to fill the lack of a story line. The visuals are pleasant, and the girls' outfits are cute. The guy playing the head vampire is a literal fucking joke though it's so bad you just want to sue Rollin.

The dreamy atmosphere of the film is what keeps me from hating it. I would kill to explore the gorgeous cemeteries and castles pictured onscreen. I wish I was a Jean Rollin girl.
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People who added this item 222 Average listal rating (110 ratings) 7.5 IMDB Rating 7.6
Grey Gardens (1975)



I know this film is some kind of gay cult classic but to me it was so obvious that the Maysles brothers were just trying to exploit these two crazy old bitches for profit.

Little and Big Edie Bouvier, two washed up and thrown aside members of the American bourgeois, are shown prancing about their broken down busted as fuk home, reminiscing about the days when people weren't ashamed to be seen around them. They were clearly mentally ill and needed help, but instead they got mocked with this hilarious documentary. It's like watching a train wreck.

What I got from it was that Little Edie desperately wanted a suitor to marry her, to spend her life with a man who loved her, rather than caring for her senile, abusive, and demanding mother 24/7.

Meanwhile, her mother Big Edie literally lived in her filthy bed, full of decomposing food and garbage, screaming at her daughter to feed her. Talk about a toxic relationship. In one scene, her old wrinkly tit fell out as she tried to get up. Why include this in the film? The Maysles Bros were sick lmao.

Sadly, after her mother's death, Little Edie went on to a cringeworthy cabaret career, performing in front of audiences who laughed at her atrocious attempts at singing, believing she was a star all along. She died alone in her apartment in 1984. I find this doc too sad to even laugh at and their lives even sadder.
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People who added this item 56 Average listal rating (27 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 6.8



Lesbians, Satanism, murder, and the French countryside- sounds like a list of my favourite things.

Joel Seria (director of my absolute fave film Marie-poupée) seemed to have a strong cuckold fetish because all his films starred his wife Jeanne Goupil with her tits and ass always hanging out. The guy knows his smut though. While there are many repetitive nudie scenes for pervert old men viewers, ascended and based females like me can appreciate the loving, cute, tender lesbionic relationship featured within between the 2 protagonists. They use their sex appeal to tease and then ditch foolish men, and spend wonderful summer days bicycling past halcyon green village fields.

The tale is based on a true story and there was some ratchet 1990s remake with Kate Winslut and some other ugly bitch but I cbf to watch that bs. Instead, I will remember fondly these 2 charismatic 1970s girls reciting Baudelaire before performing a public immolation and feel like this is the most romantic thing ever.
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People who added this item 167 Average listal rating (105 ratings) 3.9 IMDB Rating 5.1
The Snowman (2017)



This movie was trashed by critics, but anyone who is retarded enough to become a film critic is on crack. While The Snowman is no masterpiece, at least it is a fairly interesting movie, which cannot be said about many films made after 2000. imo at least because modern cinema gives me AIDs since it is ugly and digital and I only like 1970s softcore porn B movies.

Anyways, the movie was based on some book series and it enraged fans because it was shit in comparison. I really could not care less, but I would just like to share the fact that Michael Fassbender plays an alcoholic hobo detective named Harry Hole. I know it's probably not funny if you have an IQ above 10, but I don't tbh.

The film's plot is more scattered than a squirrel's shit- it makes 0 sense and is poorly strung together. Charlotte Gainsbourg is one ugly bitch, and Val Kilmer had throat cancer during filming and looked on the verge of death. The guy playing the killer looked too low testosterone for the part as well.

Although Norway is a frozen shithole to live in, the snowy plains and mountains are aesthetically beautiful. The Snowman has some super impressive cinematography, which is why I give it 3 bloodied snowmen out of 5.
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People who added this item 598 Average listal rating (377 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 7.6
Deep Red (1975)



The best, and ONLY positive aspects of this film are the murder scenes. That's literally it.

With Giallo, one often has to sit through boring, slow, poorly acted, ridiculously dubbed, cheesy, insufferable, hollow mystery plots that were probably written by a circus monkey. But the reward is fantastic and highly stylized slasher gore sequences, accompanied by the psychedelic prog rock of Goblin.

Deep Red is aesthetically striking, full of the same types of colorful visuals and impeccable cinematographic shots that Dario Argento utilized in Suspiria. But, as I said, the plot is total shit and David Hemmings is annoying, though not as much as the dude who played the killer omg. Italian is such a grating language on the ears.

However, I am a sadist at heart so I loved the creative and artistic murder scenes and the catchy creepy musical score, so how can I not like this film overall?
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I apologize in advance for my rambling but tbh my job is so boring and I am thankfully unsupervised, so I can fill my dead shifts with some amusement by writing these aspie walls of text aheh

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