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Added by Severin Severin on 7 Feb 2020 09:23

my 2020 movie diary ♥

Sort by: Showing 39 items
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I don't get why this film is so well-received or considered one of the best giallos! I found it very bland and sterile, devoid of the allure that Argento or Martino's films possess.

This film is more of a police procedural, and has too many dry dialogue scenes rather than action or compelling scenarios. Fabio Testi is supposed to be the proverbial Chad of the film, who teaches at a school and all his underage students want to smash. Isn't that illegal lmao? The 1970s was fucked.

A killer who sexually mutilates women before killing them runs loose, and Testi and his sugar mama of a sexless wife try to stop him. Honestly this movie could have used a touch of madness it's too milquetoast for my taste it's mediocre imo.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 131 Average listal rating (76 ratings) 6.8 IMDB Rating 6.5
Torso (1973)

This truly is a very creepy, very gory, and very alarming early slasher film about a misogynistic psycho killer who slices and dices hot girls into bloody sashimi. Shit's fucked bro.

Torso is trash, but trash of the best kind. It's full of extremely well dressed and pretty 1970s girls, like Tina Aumont and Carla Brait. I can't stand Suzy Kendall though that bitch is ugly af Sergio Martino could have chosen a way better final girl.

But yeah I found the murder scenes in this film genuinely scary and fucked up! One of the most brutal giallos out there, with gratuitous depictions of death that need a #triggerwarning.
Severin Severin's rating:

Ok, I'll admit it, I have a girlcrush on Edwige Fenech. And this is my fav film of hers, and one of the best giallos out there. It's Sergio Martino's magnum opus, for sure.

The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh has a special hypnotic quality about it: it's a fever dream of sex, violence, desire and the dark side of the female psyche. It even starts with a Freud quote, and there are biblical references throughout.

Edwige plays a masochistic, terrified woman who keeps having creepy visions and nightmares about a dominant ex-lover who has become a psycho stalker. She also has a beta husband and a new exciting lover on the side. Classic Edwige hoe role.

I love how the mystery in this film unfolds, and even the dumb af plot twist at the end. It truly is a glamorous, haunting and operatic film with a dope soundtrack by Nora Orlandi that I'm obsessed with.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 18 Average listal rating (9 ratings) 6.6 IMDB Rating 6.5

A psychedelic totally bitchin' 1960s Italo crime thriller, starring hottie Adrienne La Russa as a girl who wants sweet revenge on a cruel lover and manipulative father. It is similar to a giallo in form, but technically it isn't one.

This film is a clear case of style over substance, but it's not a bad thing. The soundtrack is memorable, the outfits are too swag, and the film is just predicated on La Russa's model good looks. A rare and intriguing movie that is def worth a watch, if you like seeing cute and crazy 1960s girls plot murder, mayhem and madness.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 16 Average listal rating (9 ratings) 7.8 IMDB Rating 7.2

This is the type of film that a psycho bitch like me falls in love with upon the first viewing. It is an absolutely gorgeous and disturbing masterpiece, and criminally underrated.

I personally prefer it over The Exorcist TBH.

Daliah Lavi is ethereal and stunning in black and white, with striking black hair and dark eyes. She plays a mentally ill peasant girl named Purificazione; who is feared as a witch by all the inhabitants of her Southern Italian village. Eventually, they come to believe she is demonically possessed.

She crab walks backwards, screams madly, spits on crucifixes, and engages in all manner of sinful behavior. But with Brunello Rondi's subdued directing style, we can never really tell if she is possessed, or just crazy.

The film ends with a poem that I can't seem to find the source of anywhere:

"Born between lions and bears and I sang the siren's song

I am in this world as though I don't belong."

Word, bitch.
Severin Severin's rating:

This is a very visually beautiful gothic horror giallo by Sergio Martino, based on the Edgar Allan Poe tale "The Black Cat."

Luigi Pistilli is absolutely hilarious in this. He's supposed to be a super perverted abusive libertine husband who is racist and sexist and abuses his wife, but it's so over-the-top that you can't help but laugh. This film would never have been made today or Luigi would have been stoned to death.

I don't really like Edwige Fenech with the short hair, and she plays a hoe in this film as usual and fucks all the main characters. She is a bisexual playa. Anita Strindberg looks like a Grecian statue and gives a versatile performance as a dead as fuck masochist wife with evil tricks up her sleeve.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 448 Average listal rating (271 ratings) 7.4 IMDB Rating 7
Tenebre (1982)

Wow... This movie was a total fucking knockout. I'm sorry to be a cucked film student type with my shitty movie diary compulsions but this is the first "10" star movie I've seen this year.

Tenebre is a searing tale of glamorous highly-stylized giallo murder violence. Visually, it is impeccable and gorgeous to the eye. The sets look clean and futuristic, the camera work is smooth with artful wide-pan shots, and the characters are so fucking well dressed; like 80s YSL mannequins.

There is a metafictionary aspect to it: the film centers around an American writer who makes super-violent horror novels, which triggers a fan to go on a killing spree in Rome.

Argento himself was stalked by a weirdo obsessed fan who said that he wanted to commit the same sort of violence against the director that he had seen in his films. Like imagine the epicness of creating a giallo film around the fact that you were stalked by a guy who was so fascinated with you that he wanted to slit your throat!

The soundtrack by Goblin is this amazing Italo disco-funk rock catchy hybrid that I still can't stop listening to. The film is a brilliant murder opera of gory yet visually enthralling scenes of beautiful model-esque women getting horribly slaughtered.

And also there's Anthony Franciosa acting like a benevolent cuck, but there is more than meets the eye to his character. His 1950s Hollywood corny acting style made me laugh more than a few times, but he's actually very suitable for his role.

I hate to use the term, but this movie is so Freudian in the sense that it really delves into the psychology of sex, fetishism, voyeurism, perversion, the compulsion to commit violence, repressed trauma, and the effect of disturbing media on one's mind. Who knew a giallo could be so deep bruh?

I absolutely loved Tenebre, and I can definitely say it is one of my new favourite movies.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 363 Average listal rating (225 ratings) 7 IMDB Rating 6.6
Inferno (1980)

It's funny how I watched the best and worst Argento movie back to back.

Inferno is an absolute disaster of a movie. It's like he wanted to make a sequel to Suspiria, but was too lazy to act like he gave a shit.

You have the same themes here as in Suspiria, like witches, covens, art-deco sets, and neon-tinted bright lighting. How could that go wrong? Well it does, and terribly.

You have comedically poor scenes, like some guy laying down on the floor helplessly while rats eat him alive. Or a chick who gets attacked by cats, and just screams like a dumbass the whole time. And I'm sure it was real animal cruelty, so vegans would slit their wrists after watching Infero.

Hell, even I wanted to because it was such a boring, dull chore to get through. What the fuck was Argento thinking lmfao.

The only good scene in the movie is the one in the 1st screenshot: stunning Ania Pieroni and a fluffy cat giving the camera a wicked stare of evil witchery.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 20 Average listal rating (14 ratings) 7.1 IMDB Rating 6.6
Der Fan (1982)

My obsession with psycho women movies is well documented I assume, so of course I would take ridiculous pleasure in a depraved film like Der Fan.

It centers around an isolated depressed deluded German 80s girl, who becomes obsessed with some effeminate Kraftwerk wannabe electropop singer. And I don't mean obsessed as in actually paying for his albums on Spotify, but like wanting to dismember and eat his corpse obsessed.

The sickness and loneliness of the protagonist is palpable. There is a sterile Michael Haeneke-like air to the film, where under the blandness of the characters' daily life, you can just tell something horribly gruesome is lurking right beneath.

Desiree Nosbusch gives a fantastic performance as an emo teen girl falling deep into mental despair and psychosis. The ending is absolutely mental, and not for those triggered by necrophilia and cannibalism. Which is like, no one I guess oh well this movie is mine now.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 60 Average listal rating (24 ratings) 6.8 IMDB Rating 6.7

I was binge-watching Fulci movies, and this was the best of the lot. It's a glitzy, pretty, stylish giallo outing with none of Fulci's trademark gross out gore nonsense.

Like Vertigo, the doppelganger concept is used to generate drama and supernatural mystery. Una Sull'altra is a story of beautiful, exciting, degenerate people engaging in sexy yet criminal affairs, set to a blaring Riz Ortolani jazz soundtrack.

Every aspect of this movie is gorgeous, especially lead actress Marisa Mell. I have no idea wtf it is with me and 60s/70s girls, but I find them hypnotic and alluring; as if they are magical sirens. And Marisa is the perfect femme fatale: cool, calm and effervescently beautiful.

The ending was pretty stupid, but it's forgiven considering the fact that everyone in this film looks like they stepped out of a Paco Rabane catalogue. There's nothing better than swingin' sixties Italy bro we really live in some ugly ass times huh.
Severin Severin's rating:

In theory, this movie has everything I love: pretty Florinda Bolkan, LSD-fueled orgies, lesbianism, psychedelic murder scenes, dope cinematography, a badass title, and a soundtrack by Ennio Morricone.

I enjoyed when Bolkan and other good looking actors were on screen, but there were too many dry police procedural scenes with old British guys trying to act like they're in Sherlock Holmes. Boring and unnecessary, Fulci could've cut that shit.

And the plot twist was so dumb like M. Night tier. I love many things about this movie, but it's a mixed bag.
Severin Severin's rating:

This movie is highly disturbing. Like I know that Lucio Fulci is an extremely triggering director, but dude went above and beyond here.

The film centers around child murder and pedo elements, and has extremely violent gross-out death scenes. Fulci loves to go overboard on the gore. It's all set against the backdrop of a scenic village in Southern Italy, and the soundtrack by Riz Ortolani is both haunting and odd.

Florinda Bolkan and Barbara Bouchet are both stunningly gorgeous and they have this special hypnotic quality. I was horrified by this movie, yet I couldn't turn it off. I felt sick afterwards lmfao but I enjoy movies that abuse and test the viewer's mind.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 164 Average listal rating (70 ratings) 7.5 IMDB Rating 7.5
Danton (1983)

When I was in Poland last year, I went to the remarkable National Museum in Kraków, and there was an exhibition on the career of Andrzej Wajda. They showcased the gorgeous costumes and other artifacts from Danton, and projected the guillotine scene on a large screen.

Now that I've finally see it, I can definitely say it is one of the best historical dramas out there.

Gerard Depardieu gives a firebrand performance as Danton; a gregarious, confident statesman who tries to intercede to end the Reign of Terror. The Polish actor whose name I can't spell also gives a marvelous performance as the cold-blooded and calculating Robespierre.

The French Revolution was like a horror movie, and this unnerving film definitely plays out as such.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 225 Average listal rating (145 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 7
The Hidden (1987)

This movie is best described as a high quality B-movie. At the risk of sounding 12, it is super cool.

High-octane shootouts, hot girls, Miami Vice- tier fashion + aesthetics, and edge-of-your-seat car chases set to lit 1980s pop-rock? Hell yes.

The storyline is so rad: there is a body-hopping evil alien entity roaming the earth. He hijacks random human vessels, and uses their bodies to go totally psycho and commit terrible crimes and destroy public property.

Once police catch up to him and shoot at him, the alien just exits the body and enters another victim. There is no shitty CGI here: just gory well-done animatronic special effects.

The film stars Kyle Maclachlan, who plays a dry, no-nonsense, dorky cop that is quite the opposite of his role as Agent Cooper in Twin Peaks.

I loved this movie and highly recc to anyone who enjoys cheesy 1980s action and scifi.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 1526 Average listal rating (1064 ratings) 6.9 IMDB Rating 7.2
The Descent (2005)

I really don't understand why this garbage movie has so many positive reviews. Like I just don't.

The story is that some ugly and annoying female friends reunite to go spelunking inside a remote Appalachian cave because they are like, so quirky that for them a weekend with the girls is going into dark, creepy caves thousands of miles under the earth! Girl power uWu tomboyz!

Oh and there's a horrible twist: muh man eating CGI aliens are in the cave oh noo. Now all the irritating protagonists I hate are gonna get eaten! Not before like a hundred stupid jump scares though.

There are so many cheesy, badly made death scenes. Like it's just really bad early 2000s torture porn on digital, the aesthetic looks so ugly and it is just a cheap ripoff of Alien and Predator, sold with a tough girl twist. What an absolute disaster of a movie I'm shook that it's well liked.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 376 Average listal rating (279 ratings) 5.6 IMDB Rating 6.2
The Visit (2015)

Another infuriating M. Nightmare Shyamalan piece of excrement. How can I describe how I hate thee? I would literally murder the whole cast with my bare hands. WTF is this movie.

M Night's obsession with casting super annoying children was never so prominent than it was here. The storyline is that some kids go visit their grandparents, but they turn out to be weird and disgusting as fuck. Like there is some nasty shit in this movie that should warrant a lawsuit bruh.

Yeah idk I just can't lmao. This movie melted my brain.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 1924 Average listal rating (1304 ratings) 4.9 IMDB Rating 5
The Happening (2008)

I'm not sure why, but my boyfriend thought it would be funny to force me to watch M. Night Shyamalan movies (I can only write his name correctly bc I myself am Indian). So we got blunted and settled in to watch this garbage and omg

M. Night's reputation exceeds him, but this was too much. I could hardly bear looking at Mark Wahlberg's short porcile face and watching him struggle to act. I'm sure he was just contemplating his fat paycheque the whole time. Zooey Deschanel, this hipster indie twee bitch who is like 35 but acts 20, was even more terrible than Marky Mark ngl.

This movie has an amazing storyline: everyone gets infected with a virus that causes them to commit suicide. Basically, it's like a South Park skit, or on that level of iq. Watch this if you like watching poorly done CGI deaths and dramatic scenes and dialogue that are so bizarre you can hardly understand if it's some high art satire or reality. Really mind-blowing shit.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 97 Average listal rating (56 ratings) 6.9 IMDB Rating 7.2

Ministry of Fear is a WWII film noir espionage thriller featuring Ray Milland as a freshly released prisoner who gets abused by occultist Nazis and a femme fatale who performs bizarre seances.

It would just be another run of the mill WWII patriotic American borefest, if not for the fact that it was directed by Fritz Lang. He had a very special German Expressionist touch in the way that he shot his films; with artful shadowy lighting and framing that gave a haunting aura to all of his movies.

So you basically see Lang's artistry clashing with the 1940s Hollywood cheese that they forced upon him, and it makes for an interesting but odd watch.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 360 Average listal rating (189 ratings) 7.5 IMDB Rating 7.5

Who would've thought that one day I would be watching Godard movies with a French boyfriend? Great success. It's the only way to watch his films, imo.

This is your typical degenerate Godard movie: Paris, polygamy, cigarettes, Marxism, flash cuts, intertitles with shocking phrases, anti-Vietnam War commentary, anti-capitalism, cuckoldry, excessive dialogue, pretentiousness, cute girls, politics, depression, and sex.

That basically sums it up.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 291 Average listal rating (181 ratings) 6.6 IMDB Rating 6.3

David Cronenberg is the only Canadian filmmaker worth watching. And years of being forced to live in Canada have clearly turned the guy nuts, as evidenced from his films. I seemed to have shared his fate because

I totally love body horror films. Can't get enough of that shit. And Rabid is a total masterpiece of the disgusting, creepy and gory.

I don't get the people who bitch about Rabid having a shitty B-movie vibe. I love the look of grimy, low budget, 1970s freezing cold Montreal. It is perfect for an end-of-the-world scenario such as the one presented in this film. And since we are being barraged on all sides with corona spam, Rabid is ideal to watch rn.

Marilyn Chambers is sort of busted looking, but undeniably sexy. There is something very appealing about her, especially when she is playing a zombie-vampire hybrid with a blood-drinking demon protruding from her armpit. Also she was a pornstar irl what a talent.

This movie is disturbing and unsettling, and leaves the viewer with a foul taste and bad vibe after seeing the shocking ending. So basically, one of my new fav films ngl.

Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 88 Average listal rating (58 ratings) 7.4 IMDB Rating 7.1

I love spaghetti westerns, even moreso than Hollywood ones, because they have this exotic Italian flair to them. And I love westerns in general because they take us back to a time when man was not yet bound by the shackles of industry and commerce, when man was still an independent engineer of his own fate, riding a graceful horse into the fiery sunset with a pistol on his hip.

Il Mercenario stars 2 of my faves: Franco Nero and Jack Palance, as well as Tony Musante as the goofy comedic relief guy. The film is basically a ripoff of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly but is still fantastic in its own right, full of charm, panoramic Spanish desert shots, and a stirring soundtrack by Ennio Morricone.

This film is very pro-revolution and radical which sounds funny but there are great scenes where revolutionaries rob and kill corrupt military and government officials. But most westerns have a man VS the establishment bent in general.

Imo, Franco Nero is the pinnacle of badassery and masculinity. This type of man is almost nonexistent in the modern era. Il Mercenario is a total classic, the last scene left a smile on my face I enjoyed it sm.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 1409 Average listal rating (906 ratings) 6.3 IMDB Rating 6.8

My bf insisted we watch this movie in lieu of the coronavirus outbreak, and since I was too tired to change the channel I was like lol k. What we got was a hysterical cockroach IQ tier Hollywood disaster flick created obviously by a dumb American who could only fear-monger and spread hatred, distrust and paranoia with such a veritable garbage bag of a film.

Steven Sodomy-bergh is such a horrible director, I legit cannot stand this guy. His movies are all extremely dried up and sterile, lacking any charisma, personality or beauty. He just hires dozens of lame, washed-up Hollywood stars who are bloated with money (pudgy Matt Damon, balding Jude Law, wrinkling Gwyneth Paltrow, sexless Kate Winslet), and tints the film vomit-green and piss-yellow in post production because it looks like so edgy, man.

Jude plays a conspiracy theorist who distrusts government narratives regarding the disease outbreak in the film, and of course he is depicted as a total retard and asshole. Meanwhile the government officials, while slightly deceptive, are shown as the good guys. Just lol.

The fake virus in this movie has a lot of similarities to coronavirus, and it's eerie tbh: the virus in the film is shown as occurring due to bats, who spread the disease to pigs, who in turn spread it to a Chinese chef who didn't wash his hands lol who touches Gwyneth Paltrow who in turns spreads it to white ppl. Sometimes I feel as if the world is some kind of bizarre mindgame, what can one even make of shit like this?
Severin Severin's rating:

Dario Argento is a very hit-or-miss director, and this was a fucking miss. As I had bitched in section# 1 of this diary, giallo can be a very grating genre. In this film, you have to sit through a lot of badly written police procedural dialogue, dry tableaus of Tony Musante acting like a moron, and plot twists that they shouldn't even have bothered with.

You see elements of greatness, for example the murder scenes are extremely well shot and look very glamorous. Argento was just settling into his directing style, as this was his first directing effort. If not for his name, this film would probably have been mostly forgotten.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 262 Average listal rating (156 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 7.1

Takeshi Kitano is a Cool Guy, Takeshi will fuck you up. Takeshi will devote a 5 minute long shot to him slapping a guy until he is bloodied, and put this scene in the film at least 10 times. Is that wrong?

Despite myself, I was shocked by many scenes in this film. They were just so, like totally, violent! As the title says. A stylish 1980s Japanese gangster film with a Dirty Harry-esque cop character, and a very dope soundtrack which includes a remixed version of Gnossienne No. 1 by Erik Satie as the theme song. I love it.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 1738 Average listal rating (1066 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 7.2

A classic "white people go to India to find spiritual transcendence" uWu movie. While I enjoyed the cinematography, the soundtrack and certain aesthetics in this movie, I was so triggered by the 3 protagonists' ugly faces and lame acting, as well as the idiotic storyline and the extreme cuckold directing style and nature of Wes Anderson.

This is why I was never interested in this dude's movies: his movies are sooo lukewarm, you never get a feeling of intensity or urgency, they're all just laid back and uninteresting to the point that they resemble a children's movie. So Wes has to really structure what we see of India, we don't see any of the real weirdness and filth of the country, it's totally sterilized.

The 3 brothers are supposed to spiritually ascend at the end because they throw away heavy bags of luggage they have been dragging around India for the entire movie. I was shook that the act of throwing away suitcases was supposed to be considered the revolutionary crescendo of the film, when like most ppl in India don't even have 1 suitcase worth of possessions lmao as if it is so difficult to reject materialism. When you're poor, you have no choice, but when you're as annoying as Owen Wilson, you are guaranteed a place in hell.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 109 Average listal rating (68 ratings) 7.9 IMDB Rating 7.4

Jean Vigo was literally on crack. Born to an anarchist father who was murdered in prison, he was familiar with the concept of thug lyf from a very young age. So the portrait he paints of Nice is a one exposing profligate degeneracy, contrasted with sickening poverty.

You see shots of a boy whose entire body has been rotten with leprosy, due to lack of adequate medical care. Then you see shots of grinning, toothless rich women with hairy armpits, dancing with their cooch to the camera, living it up. This is the mystery of Nice, and all big cities for that matter: how can some live so well, while others are literally decaying from head to toe out of poverty?

Marxism aside, this is an interesting portal into a bygone era of the French Riviera. It's weird seeing Nice in black and white, since the sun and colorfulness are in fact what make the place beautiful. God, I need a fucking vacation among wealthy tourist parasites and 80 year old retirees who go to Nice to die!
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 328 Average listal rating (247 ratings) 7.3 IMDB Rating 7.4
Uncut Gems (2019)

This is- dare I say it- Adam Sandler's magnum opus. This is the peak of all things Sandler. If you were dumb enough to be a fan of this man in your childhood, he pays you back tenfold in this movie.

Many have described this film as a high cortisol rollercoaster of emotion and stress. Adam plays a very dumb and un-self aware jeweler who can't stop making shitty deals with people who want to kill him. He is constantly abused throughout, by his wife, mistress, clients, employees, you name it. This all peaks in a crescendo of shocking violence- the ending is amazing and will traumatize you. This is Adam Sandbag's long awaited redemption.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 63 Average listal rating (48 ratings) 7 IMDB Rating 7.3

I blame my bf for making us watch this movie as it was his pick. While I can tolerate Gerard Depardieu's idiocy, Pierre Richard was a bit too much for me. Over the top, moronic, often painfully unfunny vintage French humour, set in a sunny Mexican landscape. Okay to watch when you're high and could care less, but forgettable all in all.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 157 Average listal rating (83 ratings) 7.5 IMDB Rating 7.3

A tense and well-made thriller from Claude Chabrol, and the first film I've seen of his. It stars his wife of the time, Stephane Audran, and features a creepy performance from Jean Yanne.

Le Boucher is set in a paradisaical French village on the Dordogne, where a series of eerie murders occur. The protagonist, a schoolteacher, friendzones a dorky butcher who has dark secrets. At the end, there is a disturbing speech from the killer, who describes his fascination with blood.

Although this is a good film, the ending seems a bit tacked on and the reveal could've been less shit. Even so, it's still way better than most retarded Hollywood thriller flicks fr.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 963 Average listal rating (573 ratings) 6.5 IMDB Rating 6.9

This is a movie that took idiocy to new and soaring heights. Or should I say lows? This is a thriller with 0 thrills. Glenn Close is supposed to play a psycho violent bitch character but she just ends up appearing pitiful more than anything.

Apparently, producers were initially hesitant to cast Glenn because they thought she was too ugly. I would have agreed TBH though Michael Douglas is a melted bird himself. Together they make a grotesque on-screen pairing. In the film, he cheats on his wife with lovely Glenn, and his 2-dimensional cardboard cutout of a wife takes him back despite this. What a wonderful romance! That Hollywood happy ending tho.

Boring, badly made, dull, and dumb- fatal stupidity is what this be. You know that a movie is lame when the peak of horror is supposed to be Glenn Close boiling Michael Douglas' pet bunny rabbit. My French bf informed me that rabbit is a succulent dish back home lmao meanwhile in the USA it's comparable to killing a dog. Stick with watching an 80s Brian DePalma thriller instead of this lukewarm trash.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 82 Average listal rating (51 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 7.4

Despite the presence of 3 legends of the French film industry (Jean Gabin, Lino Ventura, and Alain Delon), this movie was drier than my skin when I forget to put lotion on it. Nothing happens in The Sicilian Clan, and when it does, it's low IQ and boring.

This film contains one of the dumbest plane hijacking sequences I've ever seen. I'm sure the guys who did 9/11 watched this and mocked it. Gabin plays a Siclian mafia patriarch, which is funny because he is literally pale as a ghost and clearly from the North of France. Not the best French crime film, I would recommend anything by Melville instead.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 139 Average listal rating (79 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 7.6

Even though I was triggered by Claire's Knee, I decided to give another Rohmer movie a chance. Bad idea. This guy should literally kill himself lmaooo.

This is yet another tale of an unattractive perverted middle aged man freely lusting over hordes of women who are hotter than him, and getting pursued by them in return. This is clearly the self-masturbatory fantasy of Rohmer; his sexual fantasies made real on celluloid.

The most upsetting part is that the protagonist is a married man who keeps debating on whether to cheat on his wife. And we're supposed to sympathize with his fantasies of infidelity and find them interesting. His love interest is Zouzou, the strangest looking crackhead I've ever seen.

So basically, the lizard-like bargain basement David Bowie lookalike of a protagonist is preyed upon by a horny Zouzou, and they recite extremely dumb dialogue that is supposed to be intellectual and self-aware. It is not. The wife is merely a one-dimensional character with no thought of her own, and just a foil to fuel the main character's annoying dreams of having sex with other, supposedly more intellectually stimulating women.

I was bored to tears, and disgusted by the decrepit lack of morals that Rohmer kept pushing onto his "sexually liberated" 1970s audience. I don't think he would've found the concept of cheating so amusing if it was his wife who decided to create such a film.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 67 Average listal rating (41 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 7.2

This movie should just be called "Isabelle Adjani is really hot, so we are going to show you her tits and ass for 2 hrs." That was basically the whole selling point.

Alain Souchon is one of the ugliest dudes I've ever seen, and it was bewildering seeing him paired with this goddess of a woman. To even see them simulate sex is traumatic. The man looks like a drowned insect with fried hair jfl.

I'll stop bullying the man but the plot is a total disappointment and so bad. Isabelle plays a vengeful femme fatale who never really does anything tbh the entire film builds to a big fat nothing.

However, Southern France is such an astoundingly heavenly place, and you get the same vibe of magnificent French summertime beauty as Claire's Knee. So while One Deadly Summer is another perverted excuse for a film, the beauty of Isabelle Adjani and the Côte d'Azur are pleasant enough to justify sitting through it.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 174 Average listal rating (100 ratings) 7.8 IMDB Rating 7.5
Claire's Knee (1970)

Since I had never seen an Eric Rohmer film before, I decided to watch this because I'm a pretentious pseudo intellectual. What I got in return was a psychological abortion.

Jean-Claude Brialy plays the most amazing middle aged pervert weirdo of a man I've ever seen. He is a short and skinny little homme with a beard larger than him, but we are supposed to believe he is a playa who has fucked many hoes. He continually tries to bang teen girls throughout the film, and it is embarassingly cringeworthy.

The plot is just so dumb: this old creep is obsessed with touching an attractive teen girl's knee, and we have to hear him endlessly fantasize and rhapsodize on this. Why are French people so horny, and then try to cover it up with intellectualism lmao?

The scenery on Lake Annecy is beautifully presented, and the film is set in a perfect summer idyll of sunshine and freshness. For the classy views and atmosphere are what redeem this utter garbage bag of a film.
Severin Severin's rating:

I'm not sure how to feel about Jean Rollin. His movies are basically just disjointed and poorly made low budget softcore horror porn, and that's not really a bad thing imo, but in this case, it's kind of comic.

The plot is just this: 2 young girls are continually stalked and molested by vampires in a French chateau. There are so many feeble filler scenes where nothing happens, or like pointless nudity to fill the lack of a story line. The visuals are pleasant, and the girls' outfits are cute. The guy playing the head vampire is a literal fucking joke though it's so bad you just want to sue Rollin.

The dreamy atmosphere of the film is what keeps me from hating it. I would kill to explore the gorgeous cemeteries and castles pictured onscreen. I wish I was a Jean Rollin girl.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 232 Average listal rating (117 ratings) 7.6 IMDB Rating 7.6

I know this film is some kind of gay cult classic but to me it was so obvious that the Maysles brothers were just trying to exploit these two crazy old bitches for profit.

Little and Big Edie Bouvier, two washed up and thrown aside members of the American bourgeois, are shown prancing about their broken down busted as fuk home, reminiscing about the days when people weren't ashamed to be seen around them. They were clearly mentally ill and needed help, but instead they got mocked with this hilarious documentary. It's like watching a train wreck.

What I got from it was that Little Edie desperately wanted a suitor to marry her, to spend her life with a man who loved her, rather than caring for her senile, abusive, and demanding mother 24/7.

Meanwhile, her mother Big Edie literally lived in her filthy bed, full of decomposing food and garbage, screaming at her daughter to feed her. Talk about a toxic relationship. In one scene, her old wrinkly tit fell out as she tried to get up. Why include this in the film? The Maysles Bros were sick lmao.

Sadly, after her mother's death, Little Edie went on to a cringeworthy cabaret career, performing in front of audiences who laughed at her atrocious attempts at singing, believing she was a star all along. She died alone in her apartment in 1984. I find this doc too sad to even laugh at and their lives even sadder.
Severin Severin's rating:

Lesbians, Satanism, murder, and the French countryside- sounds like a list of my favourite things.

Joel Seria (director of my absolute fave film Marie-poupée) seemed to have a strong cuckold fetish because all his films starred his wife Jeanne Goupil with her tits and ass always hanging out. The guy knows his smut though. While there are many repetitive nudie scenes for pervert old men viewers, ascended and based females like me can appreciate the loving, cute, tender lesbionic relationship featured within between the 2 protagonists. They use their sex appeal to tease and then ditch foolish men, and spend wonderful summer days bicycling past halcyon green village fields.

The tale is based on a true story and there was some ratchet 1990s remake with Kate Winslut and some other ugly bitch but I cbf to watch that bs. Instead, I will remember fondly these 2 charismatic 1970s girls reciting Baudelaire before performing a public immolation and feel like this is the most romantic thing ever.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 184 Average listal rating (116 ratings) 3.9 IMDB Rating 5.1

This movie was trashed by critics, but anyone who is retarded enough to become a film critic is on crack. While The Snowman is no masterpiece, at least it is a fairly interesting movie, which cannot be said about many films made after 2000. imo at least because modern cinema gives me AIDs since it is ugly and digital and I only like 1970s softcore porn B movies.

Anyways, the movie was based on some book series and it enraged fans because it was shit in comparison. I really could not care less, but I would just like to share the fact that Michael Fassbender plays an alcoholic hobo detective named Harry Hole. I know it's probably not funny if you have an IQ above 10, but I don't tbh.

The film's plot is more scattered than a squirrel's shit- it makes 0 sense and is poorly strung together. Charlotte Gainsbourg is one ugly bitch, and Val Kilmer had throat cancer during filming and looked on the verge of death. The guy playing the killer looked too low testosterone for the part as well.

Although Norway is a frozen shithole to live in, the snowy plains and mountains are aesthetically beautiful. The Snowman has some super impressive cinematography, which is why I give it 3 bloodied snowmen out of 5.
Severin Severin's rating:
People who added this item 644 Average listal rating (405 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 7.5

The best, and ONLY positive aspects of this film are the murder scenes. That's literally it.

With Giallo, one often has to sit through boring, slow, poorly acted, ridiculously dubbed, cheesy, insufferable, hollow mystery plots that were probably written by a circus monkey. But the reward is fantastic and highly stylized slasher gore sequences, accompanied by the psychedelic prog rock of Goblin.

Deep Red is aesthetically striking, full of the same types of colorful visuals and impeccable cinematographic shots that Dario Argento utilized in Suspiria. But, as I said, the plot is total shit and David Hemmings is annoying, though not as much as the dude who played the killer omg. Italian is such a grating language on the ears.

However, I am a sadist at heart so I loved the creative and artistic murder scenes and the catchy creepy musical score, so how can I not like this film overall?
Severin Severin's rating:

I apologize in advance for my rambling but tbh my job is so boring and I am thankfully unsupervised, so I can fill my dead shifts with some amusement by writing these aspie walls of text aheh

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