Moviewatcher122's 2015 Film Diary: May

May 1



"I didn't sleep last night. I'm gonna try now."
"Well you really should have masturbated, cuz I had a glorious orgasm and I slept like a baby."

I really wasn't expecting anything from this movie despite the fact that Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifianakis was in it. After seeing it I was surprised by how funny it was. I mean while the laughs were kind of inconsistent, it still made me laugh most of the time. It's a decent comedy and is nowhere near as bad as some of the reviews make it out to be.

May 3



"The world needed a shield... Stark settled for a slave."
"Human beings are fearful and in need of protection. But then, that fear can inspire them to do great things."
"You're unbelievably naïve."
"Well, I was born yesterday."

Quite a few people seem to be disappointed with this movie and with all honesty I don't entirely blame them. Hell, I was kind of dissapointed with this movie too. It starts off really strong with a really awesome action scene even though it felt a bit early for one. I mean the movie just starts and already our heroes are in trouble. I'm probably going to be really critical about this movie, but just keep in mind that I like this movie, but it has a lot of problems. Lets start with the biggest problem which is the biggest one I had with Iron Man 3: It takes itself way too seriously at times. It just really felt overly serious at times and the tone and pacing of this movie was all over the place and the movie as a whole felt very cluttered. Not to mention that it just doesn't have the humor that made the first movie work. I mean that's not to say that this movie didn't have it's funny moments, but none of them were quite as funny as the jokes in the first movie. That's another thing, this movie tries way too hard to top the first one and as a result it just felt messy because of it. Now this movie does have a lot of good things going for it like the action scenes, special effects and the characters are still the same ones we loved in the first movie, but there are other times where this movie feels too long due to the pacing and the sad thing is that it's just as long as the first movie. So while I liked this movie and I don't regret seeing it in theatres, it should've been better and it's just not something I'd want to watch again unlike the first one.

May 5



"Don't get me wrong. Nostalgia is great. We love nostalgia. But nostalgia belongs in a museum. I think there comes a time to decide whether you're running a museum or you're running a casino."

This wasn't an easy watch, but the well-told story and really good acting makes it all worth it. Also Alec Baldwin delivers what is quite possibly his last good performance since after that he started to go downhill as an actor. It's a really good movie that's seems somewhat forgotten these days.

May 6



"Let me tell you where you assholes stand. First there's God, then the warden, then my guards, then the dogs out there in the kennel, and finally, you. Pieces of human waste. No good to yourselves or anybody else."

This movie was entertaining, but it really could've been better. I mean it really started off promising, but as it got on the less interesting it started to get and I thought it was pretty lacking in action. I mean this movie is called Runaway Train, so I was at least expecting more suspense from it. Instead it focuses on the characters more with character development and depth which they do too much of and it's not even that effective. The characters are just nothing special and I found Jon Voight to be really annoying at times. In the end it's a decent movie, but like I said it could've been better.

May 9



"Kid, your breakfast's on the table boy, you wanna come down here and eat this shit before it gets cold?"
"It would help if you didn't call it shit, Pops."
"It would help me too if you get your ass down here & eat it!"

This movie was just average. It does have it's funny moments and the first 20 minutes of this movie is very funny, but after that it just isn't consistently funny anymore. I guess it was due to me finding this movie somewhat dull as I found the party scenes to be boring and this movie is so dated that it feels more like a background movie instead of an actual movie. If that's the kind of movie you want then this is a good choice, but if you're looking for a party movie that you will enjoy then there are much better choices than this. It's just an OK movie that's incredibly dated and it doesn't have much of a purpose. It's just there.

May 11



"Look at your reflection in the mirror. You're a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You're a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'till mom finds out, buddy!"

I really enjoyed this movie. It was very entertaining, it was really funny at times and it never takes itself too seriously. Kind of shocked it took me this long to get around to watching it, but I'm just glad I finally watched it and it's probably one of the best vampire movies of the 80's.

May 12



"You really think this bullet gives a shit how tough you are, big guy?"

While it's far from being a great movie, I still thought it was a highly enjoyable one and it probably has one of Kurt Russell's most underrated and overlooked performances ever.

May 13



"Life is only on Earth. And not for long."

It may be a little too slow-moving at times, but it was still a very ambiguous and interesting film. Not to mention that Kirsten Dunst really steps out of her comfort zone and delivers a great performance.

May 16



"You know what, you're crazy!"
"Yep. Diagnosed and everything."

It does have a funny joke every now and then, but for the most part it's just a really unfunny movie and I really hate how they try to make you sympathize with Melissa McCarthy's character by adding in an emotionally manipulative life story.

May 17



"Are we gonna fight or are you planning on boring me to death?"

It's an entertaining movie and it's a decent Stallone action vehicle, but it's nothing really memorable.

May 19



"People keep asking if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer, but yeah, I'm thinking I'm back."

This was a great return to action for Keanu Reeves. It had some great action scenes and while Keanu may not be the best at acting, this is definitely one of his best roles. It's a highly entertaining movie that deserves the praise it gets.

May 20



"Do you always carry a gun like that?"
"It's not a gun. It's a 45, Smith & Wesson."

The negative reviews for this movie have put me off watching it, but I decided to give in and see it because I think Chloe Moretz is a great actress. While the movie isn't anything special, it's still decent. It had some really good acting and it told a decent story. It's far from being an exceptional movie, but it's better than some people made it out to be.

May 22



"You know... Hope is a mistake. If you don't fix what's broke, you'll go insane."

This movie was just as great as I anticipated it to be. Tom Hardy nails the role of Mad Max, it had tons of great action scenes and it had a really awesome villian. I might even go far to call this the best Mad Max movie and it's probably one I would want to get on blu-ray just so I can watch it again as soon as I buy it.

May 24

May 27



"My father's so cheap... that when we went to bed, he'd unplug the alarm clocks. "You can't tell time when you are asleep"."

This is quite possibly one of the worst comedies I've seen in quite some time. It tries way too hard to be funny and I didn't laugh once. It tries way to hard to be satirical, but I didn't think any of it was well-written and most of all it tries to hard to be touching, but it fails miserably. This was just a colossal failure on every level.

May 28



"You know they say, back two, three hundred years ago, pirates put phony lighthouses right out by those big rocks, right out there. Ships would set a course by the lights, crash on the rocks; then everybody'd go out and rob 'em blind. Only one thing's changed since then: lights are brighter."

This is one of Nicolas Cage's more underrated films. It was very entertaining, had an interesting story and I just really enjoyed Cage's character. It's a really underrated movie and I'm glad I finally saw it.

May 31



"In the end - just like I said - I left everything, and everyone. But no one, no one has ever left me."

This was a pretty good movie. It had some really good acting for the most part (The sole exception being Channing Tatum, but his acting was still tolerable compared to some of his other roles.) and it told a compelling story. It's far from being great, but it's still a pretty good movie and it was a good note to end the month on.

May 2-3



"I will be dying and so will you, and so will everyone here. That's what I want to explore. We're all hurtling towards death, yet here we are for the moment, alive. Each of us knowing we're going to die, each of us secretly believing we won't."

While I won't deny that this movie is confusing at times, it really does make sense when you really let some of the stuff sink in. This is a very strange, yet very beautiful movie with great acting and it's also darkly funny at times which is to be expected considering that it was written and directed by Charlie Kaufman who is quite possibly one of my favorite screenwriters of all time. This is a masterpiece, plain and simple.

May 4



"The Cross was a mushroom - and the mushroom was also the Tree of Good and Evil."

I'm not going to sugar-coat it, this is a really fucked up movie. I wasn't even sure what to think about it at first, but as it went on I saw something in this film that was really deep and thought-provoking. This movie isn't going to appeal to everyone as some people will either find it too weird or pointless, but if you have an adventurous taste in cinema then it's worth watching.

May 8



I couldn't find any decent quotes for this movie as most of them were just one-liners and not very good ones.

I rented this movie on DVD and on that DVD it started off with Terry Gilliam warning me that I may not like this movie which at first I thought "That's not a good sign.", but then when he described what it's about it regained my interest.

Unfortunately, this is easily the weakest movie I've seen from Terry Gilliam so far. While it does have its interesting moments, the plot just could've been executed better. I mean first of all they introduce Jennifer Tilly's character who was annoying as fuck, but dies in the FIRST 15 MINUTES. I mean I should be happy that her character died so I wouldn't have to listen to that annoying voice, but on the other hand it made her character pointless. She brought absolutely nothing to this movie and it could've worked if the death affected her, but it clearly didn't. Another problem I have is it's attempts at humor. Now Jeff Bridges wasn't too bad in this movie, but it's probably the weakest performance I've seen from him as his character is just a fart joke. That's all his character is and it's not even funny. I mean I know most of Terry Gilliam's movies are dark movies with only some dark comedy thrown in every now or then, but when this is the only joke I remember from the movie, then it fails in that department. The movie does have some very interesting ideas and I do think the little girl did an alright job with acting, but for the most part it's just dark for the sake of being dark. It's just an OK movie, but I was really expecting much more from this one.

May 10



"I'm putting in a chase sequence. So the killer flees on horseback with the girl, the cop's after them on a motorcycle and it's like a battle between motors and horses, like technology vs. horse."
"And they're still all one person, right?"

While this was a pretty good movie and I did like seeing Nicolas Cage play an exaggerated version of Charlie Kaufman, I thought the movie could've been a bit better. I mean it's a pretty solid movie, but it's kind of overrated compared to Kaufman's other movies.

May 14



"They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up."

While this is my first time seeing this movie, I did try watching it years ago when my mom rented it for me and a couple friends to watch, but I fell asleep before it even started. I guess it wasn't a huge loss though because I'm unsure if I would've appreciated this movie back then. I'm just glad I finally saw this now as this is just as great of a film as it's made out to be and I would say that this is Tim Burton's best movie since Ed Wood. It told a really fascinating story and it manages to be a very beautiful movie while at the same time adding in a little Burton weirdness every now and then.

May 15



"You should've gone to the funeral."
"I wish I had. They bury the dead so quickly. They should leave them lying around for months."

This was a really messed up movie. It was really disturbing, yet also creative considering that it has an unusual plot. It also has great acting and just so many weird stuff that only David Cronenberg could come up with. It's not going to appeal to a lot of people, but it's easily worth watching if you're a fan of Cronenberg.

May 21



"There's sometimes a buggy. How many drivers does a buggy have?"
"One."
"So, let's just say I'm driving this buggy. And, if you fix your attitude, you can ride along with me."

I loved the other David Lynch films that I've seen, so I had high expectations for this one. In the end it turned out to be dissapointing and I just don't understand the hype for this. There is a lot to like about this movie and it does have it's really interesting moments, but in the end it's not that much different from your typical mystery film. The fact that this is one of Lynch's highest rated films on IMDB is just baffling.

May 22 

May 26



"Do you own a video camera?"
"No. Fred hates them."
"I like to remember things my own way."
"What do you mean by that?"
"How I remembered them. Not necessarily the way they happened."

Now this movie was the David Lynch greatness I was expecting from Mulholland Drive! It had a ton of weird visuals, an interesting story and it is just a mindfuck of a film. While I wouldn't go far to call this his best work, but it's still a great film nonetheless and it's much better than the aforementioned film.

May 29



"What dignifies the Yogic practices is that the belief system itself is not truly religious. There is no Buddhist God per se. It is the Self, the individual Mind, that contains immortality and ultimate truth."
"What the hell is not religious about that? You've simply replaced God with the Original Self."
"Yes, but we've localized it. Now I know where the Self is. It's in our own minds. It's a form of human energy. Our atoms are six billion years old. We've got six billion years of memory in our minds."

If this isn't the weirdest movie I've seen all month then it's at least up there. This was such a weird movie with tons of bizarre imagery and it had a really good story and great acting from William Hurt. I'd say that this monthly focus was a success. I've managed to get ten films out of this and the worst movie in this category wasn't even that bad.

May 30



"You can bring me the boy. You can bring me the boy. You can bring me the boy."

While this was a good horror movie and it is well-acted, I think it's kind of overhyped when it comes to scare factor. Don't get me wrong, this movie had it's scary moments, but there are other horror films from recent years that are scarier than this. Not to mention that it doesn't really get going until the end. It's a pretty good movie, but not the masterpiece some people are claiming it to be.