British Mystery: Cracker

Years: 1993-2006
Broadcaster: ITV
Written by: Jimmy McGovern, Paul Abbott, Ted Whitehead
Stars: Robbie Coltrane, Geraldine Somerville
Episodes: 25
Episode Average: 8.800*

BEST EPISODES:
To Be a Somebody: Part 2 (1994), To Be a Somebody: Part 3 (1994)

*including specials

SERIES ONE

(1993)
7 episodes
Series Score: 61
Episode Average: 8.71
Perfect 10's: 2

S1E1

THE MAD WOMAN IN THE ATTIC

PART 1
Originally broadcast: 27 September 1993
Directed by: Michael Winterbottom
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Fitz's wife leaves him when he admits to faking her signature, a second murder victim turns out to have been a psychology student, and a man found injured next to a railway line claims to be suffering from amnesia.

"Why not a normal addiction, Fitz? Heroin or cocaine? Do too much and you're dead. Why pick something so bloody limitless?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

THE MAD WOMAN IN THE ATTIC

PART 2
Originally broadcast: 4 October 1993
Directed by: Michael Winterbottom
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Questions are raised about whether the police have the right man, Fitz takes the prime suspect into his care when the police run out of time, and a call from a priest tells of a confession involving a third victim.

"I'm not after your body, Panhandle."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

TO SAY I LOVE YOU

PART 1
Originally broadcast: 11 October 1993
Directed by: Andy Wilson
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Two of society's rejects fall in love on karaoke night at the pub, an arrested Fitz is called in to calm things down in the next cell, and a loan shark pays a high price for a collection of silver trophies.

"I'm not discussing anything in front of this talking bloody textbook."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

TO SAY I LOVE YOU

PART 2
Originally broadcast: 18 October 1993
Directed by: Andy Wilson
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Fitz realises that Gamblers Anonymous isn't for him, Panhandle lashes out with some home truths when her advances are rejected, and the police are stunned when Giggs is found beaten to death.

"Penhaligon. Penhaligon, you arrogant lump of lard! Penhaligon!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

TO SAY I LOVE YOU

PART 3
Originally broadcast: 25 October 1993
Directed by: Andy Wilson
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Fitz tries to find out where the other suspect is before it's too late, there's reports of an incident at a petrol station, and Judith wants to make sure everything's in the open before moving back to the house.

"Slightly better than gnomes, I suppose."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

ONE DAY A LEMMING WILL FLY

PART 1
Originally broadcast: 1 November 1993
Directed by: Simon Cellan Jones
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

A boy is reported missing when he doesn't arrive at his father's house, a woman who spotted the boy's body while cheating on her husband calls anonymously, and Bilborough's private life piles on the pressure.

"It speaks columes about a person, Panhandle, the way they suck a sherbet lemon. Me, I'm a cruncher. I like to pop 'em in. Crunch. An explosion of sherbet. Instant gratification. Judith is a roller. She likes to roll 'em around her mouth for ages. Noisily. You see, as a child, she got more pleasure out of making the other kids jealous that she did out of the sweetie itself. I think you're probably a sucker. Am I right?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

ONE DAY A LEMMING WILL FLY

PART 2
Originally broadcast: 8 November 1993
Directed by: Simon Cellan Jones
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Doubts about an alibi lead to questions about sexuality, Bilborough's actions are questioned when the anger outside the station grows, and Beck and Fitz are tasked with protecting the suspect at a hotel.

"Keep away from Fitz. You're starting to sound like him."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES TWO

(1994)
9 episodes
Series Score: 86
Episode Average: 9.56
Perfect 10's: 6

S2E1

TO BE A SOMEBODY

PART 1
Originally broadcast: 10 October 1994
Directed by: Tim Fywell
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

A man who has recently lost his father shaves his head and kills a Pakistani shopkeeper, a new face in Bilborough's team leaks information to the press, and Fitz turns a big win into an even bigger disappointment.

"There's nothing wrong with you. Nothing physical. But I would like you to see a psychologist"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

TO BE A SOMEBODY

PART 2
Originally broadcast: 17 October 1994
Directed by: Tim Fywell
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Bilborough reluctantly turns to Fitz when a psychologist is killed, a journalist manages to escape the clutches of the killer, and the meaning of a number at the crime scenes suggests many more deaths.

"My conscience is fine. I'm getting a slight pain in the arse, but that's all. I did my job"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

TO BE A SOMEBODY

PART 3
Originally broadcast: 24 October 1994
Directed by: Tim Fywell
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Penhaligon struggles with her own emotions while delivering bad news, a quarry employee pays the price for getting in the way, and Beck finds himself thrown off the case after apprehending the killer.

"You always were an ugly bastard, though, weren't ya?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

THE BIG CRUNCH

PART 1
Originally broadcast: 31 October 1994
Directed by: Julian Jarrold
Written by: Ted Whitehead

A headmaster and minister is photographed having sex with a schoolgirl, suggestions of pregnancy sees the situation take a dark turn, and hope seems lost for Fitz's marriage when Judith puts the house on the market.

"Oh, I see. You get the lochs, mighty moutains and the glens of the Highlands and I get the toxic waste dump. Is that fair?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

THE BIG CRUNCH

PART 2
Originally broadcast: 7 November 1994
Directed by: Julian Jarold
Written by: Ted Whitehead

The missing girl is found covered in strange symbols, Mark quickly works out the meaning of something that puzzles his father, and the hunt for a killer begins when news comes in from the hospital.

"Don't know the mock, Father. But you're right, anyway. Bless me, Father, for it is 22 years since my last confession."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

THE BIG CRUNCH

PART 3
Originally broadcast: 14 November 1994
Directed by: Julian Jarold
Written by: Ted Whitehead

Anchovies and a bombshell are dropped on Penhaligon, Fitz makes a bet with Wise after refusing to accept that Beck got the right man, and the questioning of members of the church reveals a history of jealousy.

"Then don't talk shit to a panhandle."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E7

MEN SHOULD WEEP

PART 1
Originally broadcast: 21 November 1994
Directed by: Jean Stewart
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

A young black man forces women to wear hoods as he rapes them, the police target a list of men with previous sex offence convictions, and Fitz provides indisputable proof that Beck has the wrong man.

"You're twisted and you're a pervert, and you'll make a bloody good policeman."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E8

MEN SHOULD WEEP

PART 2
Originally broadcast: 28 November 1994
Directed by: Jean Stewart
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Wise goes looking for Penhaligon when he can't get hold of her, the police soon realise that they are dealing with two different rapists, and things take an even darker turn after advice from Fitz.

"Shall I get a mouth organ? We could do a duet... Your feet hum."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E9

MEN SHOULD WEEP

PART 3
Originally broadcast: 4 December 1994
Directed by: Jean Stewart
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

The suspect's mother tells of how he came to be scarred so badly, Judith's upset when she finds out about Fitz seeing another woman, and a moment of compassion leaves Penhaligon reeling.

"You get a four-eyed wanly therapist, and get a sexbomb. Is it fair? Definitely not. Is it going to last? Definitely not. Am I flattered? Positively definitely yes, yes, yes."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

SERIES THREE

(1995)
7 episodes
Series Score: 59
Episode Average: 8.43
Perfect 10's: 1

S3E1

BROTHERLY LOVE

PART 1
Originally broadcast: 22 October 1995
Directed by: Roy Battersby
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Beck protests his innocence ahead of his return to work after four months, a prostitute pays the ultimate price when she insists on being paid, and Fitz receives bad news when his brother pays him a visit.

"Depends on whether they let me out or not. It's a mental hospital."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E2

BROTHERLY LOVE

PART 2
Originally broadcast: 29 October 1995
Directed by: Roy Battersby
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

A second killing while the prime suspect is still in custody puzzles the police, Beck can't believe his eyes when he visits Catriona Bilborough, and local prostitutes are asked for advice about going on the game.

"Women used to fight over me once, you know. Send the Head in and everything. The loser got me."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E3

BROTHERLY LOVE

PART 3
Originally broadcast: 6 November 1995
Directed by: Roy Battersby
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

The men of the station are impressed when Penhaligon prepares to go undercover, Fitz has to promise confidentiality in his quest for a confession, and a cup of tea provides a surprising clue.

"Why do you always look at me as if I've just farted?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E4

BEST BOYS

PART 1
Originally broadcast: 6 November 1995
Directed by: Charles McDougall
Written by: Paul Abbott

Penhaligon chooses the wrong place to make a scene when she demands promotion, a factory foreman helps a young employee who has nowhere to stay, and a landlady is stabbed several times after a dispute over rent.

"Basements are American. We have damp cellars. It's like saying deli when you mean pie shop."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E5

BEST BOYS

PART 2
Originally broadcast: 13 November 1995
Directed by: Charles McDougall
Written by: Paul Abbott

The police are called when the body of a social worker is found behind a pub, a foster family explain their reasons for cancelling an adoption application, and burning out a car leads to a trip to the hospital.

"There was no trouble at my stag night, either. It was the next 30 years that buggered me up."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E6

TRUE ROMANCE

PART 1
Originally broadcast: 20 November 1995
Directed by: Tim Fywell
Written by: Paul Abbott

Fitz talks about an anonymous love letter during a university lecture, the body of an electrocuted student is found on a railway embankment, and Mark reveals that his ex-girlfriend miscarried his baby.

"I know I said enjoy yourself, but for God's sake put a bit of double-glazing on the old todger, will you?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E7

TRUE ROMANCE

PART 2
Originally broadcast: 27 November 1995
Directed by: Tim Fywell
Written by: Paul Abbott

Penhaligon offers a theory when two more bodies are found, the killer makes a desperate call after an announcement on the television, and Fitz can't help but pay attention when a worrying fax arrives at his home.

"Public humiliation. Tell the whole world what a useless tosser I turned out to be."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SPECIAL

(1996)

SPECIAL

WHITE GHOST

Originally broadcast: 28 October 1996
Directed by: Richard Standeven
Written by: Paul Abbott

A man's life starts to unravel when his Hong Kong business falls into debt, Fitz is asked to help with a murder case while on a lecture tour, and hopes of having Penhaligon for company are dashed at the airport.

"Catholic. Only when I go to the bookies. 'Hail Mary, Mother of God, pray for us winners, and now at the hour of our death'."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SPECIAL

(2006)

SPECIAL

CRACKER

Originally broadcast: 1 October 2006
Directed by: Antonia Bird
Written by: Jimmy McGovern

Fitz and Judith return to the UK for Katie's wedding, an investigation into the murder of a stand-up comedian proves too much to resist, and a wallet-thief insists on being paid for a vital piece of information.

"So I have to live my life in constant pain? To remind you that you love me? I'd sooner not, if that's not being too selfish."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

DR.

EDWARD FITZGERALD
"FITZ"

Played by Robbie Coltrane

25 episodes
(1993-2006)
in... The Mad Woman in the Attic (S1E2)

DETECTIVE SERGEANT*

JANE PENHALIGON
"PANHANDLE"

Played by Geraldine Somerville

23 episodes
(1993-1995)
in... The Big Crunch (S2E6)

*later promoted to Detective Inspector

DETECTIVE SERGEANT

JIMMY BECK

Played by Lorcan Cranitch

20 episodes
(1993-1995)
in... The Mad Woman in the Attic (S1E1)

DETECTIVE CHIEF INSPECTOR

CHARLIE WISE

Played by Ricky Tomlinson

15 episodes
(1994-1996)
in... To Be a Somebody (S2E3)

DETECTIVE CHIEF INSPECTOR

DAVID BILBOROUGH

Played by Christopher Ecclestone

10 episodes
(1993-1994)
in... One Day a Lemming Will Fly (S1E7)

DETECTIVE CONSTABLE

MICHAEL SKELTON

Played by Wil Johnson

10 episodes
(1994-1995)
in... True Romance (S3E6)

DETECTIVE CONSTABLE

BOBBY HARRIMAN

Played by Colin Tierney

9 episodes
(1994)
in... The Big Crunch (S2E4)

DETECTIVE CONSTABLE

ALAN TEMPLE

Played by Robert Cavanah

7 episodes
(1995)
in... Brotherly Love (S3E2)

DETECTIVE SERGEANT

GEORGE GIGGS

Played by Ian Mercer

4 episodes
(1993)
in... To Say I Love You (S1E3)

MARK FITZGERALD

Played by Kieran O'Brien

22 episodes
(1993-2006)
in... Men Should Weep (S2E7)

JUDITH FITZGERALD

Played by Barbara Flynn

21 episodes
(1993-2006)
in... To Say I Love You (S1E3)

KATE FITZGERALD

Played by Tess Thomson / Stefanie Wilmore

13 episodes
(1993-2006)
in... To Be a Somebody (S2E2)

DANNY FITZGERALD

Played by Clive Russell

7 episodes
(1995)
in... Brotherly Love (S3E1)