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Added by Onion Jack on 26 Jan 2016 12:25
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British Comedy: Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

Sort by: Showing 1-50 of 63
Decade: Rating: List Type:
Years: 1983-2004
Broadcaster: ITV (Carlton) / BBC
Genre: Comedy Drama
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement,
Stan Hey, Bernie Cooper, Francis Megahy
Stars: Timothy Spall, Jimmy Nail
Episodes: 40
Episode Average: 8.400*
BEST EPISODES:
Last Rites (1984), The Return of the Seven: Part 2 (1986)
*including specials
Rate:
Watched Wanted Custom

SERIES ONE

(1983-1984)
13 episodes
Series Score: 109
Episode Average: 8.38
Perfect 10's: 3
S1E1

IF I WERE A CARPENTER

Originally broadcast: 11 November 1983
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Three brickies head for Germany in a clapped out Zephyr, arriving late means the accommodation isn't exactly comfortable, and an unhappy chippy considers heading back home to his missus.

"Oh, I thought you just had a wife. I didn't realise you had a porpoise. What do you feed that on?"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E2

WHO WON THE WAR ANYWAY?

Originally broadcast: 18 November 1983
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
A new arrival gets the nod when he's found to be in possession of a dartboard, Neville's situation improves when he spots an unexploded bomb, and Oz's low opinion of the Germans gets him into trouble.

"Barry reckons we needs a leader, someone to make all the crucial decisions, like whether to have baked beans or fried beads."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E3

THE GIRLS THEY LEFT BEHIND

Originally broadcast: 25 November 1983
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Brenda has doubts put in her mind about what Neville might be up to, an unwanted letter arrives from England, and Oz ends up in a tricky spot after watching Sunderland play in Belgium.

"Perhaps you're right. I mean, as the poet once said, 'A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle'."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E4

SUSPICION

Originally broadcast: 2 December 1983
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Ian La Frenais
Heavy rain means there's little else to do but gamble, accusations fly when a thief strikes in the hut, and Neville receives a keepsake from a pretty receptionist he takes a shine to.

"It's the unemployment We're very big on that in England. It's one of our few spectacular successes."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E5

HOME THOUGHTS FROM ABROAD

Originally broadcast: 9 December 1983
Directed by: Baz Taylor
Written by: Stan Hey
Barry and Moxey plant a herb garden next to the hut, Bomber heads back to England when his daughter runs away from home, and Neville gets a part-time job to get Brenda off his back.

"I've heard of rock groupies, Wayne, but never cement groupies."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E6

THE ACCUSED

Originally broadcast: 16 December 1983
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Ian La Frenais
Dennis heads home to sort out his divorce, the lads struggle to believe that Neville's capable of doing what he's arrested for, and Brenda travels to Germany after speaking to Oz on the phone.

"I don't recall any of her records, but she had enormous tits and lived somewhere near Brighton"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E7

PRIVATE LIVES

Originally broadcast: 30 December 1983
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Ian La Frenais
Dennis tries to keep his relationship away from the boys, Neville and Oz decide to go swimming, and Barry and Wayne go to a hotel in the hope of pulling a couple of air stewardesses.

"What do you mean 'how fatal'? Fatal. Fatal's fatal, isn't it?"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E8

THE FUGITIVE

Originally broadcast: 6 January 1984
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Ian La Frenais
Some of the lads pick up a hitch-hiker with no particular destination in mind, an outbreak of vandalism brings the police to the site, and Oz consider going home because nobody likes him.

"There's no salmon fishing where I come from, you know. I fished the canal once, though. I caught a plimsoll and a couple of contraceptives."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E9

THE ALIEN

Originally broadcast: 13 January 1984
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Ian La Frenais
Dennis finds himself being made responsible for the behaviour of a violent worker, a good turn from Oz doesn't go down well in the hut, and the lads compete for a place on a darts team.

"Him you can. You're better off buying him a cage. He even snores aggressively."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E10

LAST RITES

Originally broadcast: 20 January 1984
Directed by: Baz Taylor
Written by: Ian La Frenais
Oz tries to get the lads to invest in an adult video venture, Bomber has to go to hospital after an accident onsite, and Dennis and Neville offer to help with a stubborn old English patient.

"We look all right at night, don't we? You know, in dimly-lit bars an' that."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E11

THE LOVERS

Originally broadcast: 27 January 1984
Directed by: Baz Taylor
Written by: Bernie Cooper, Francis Megahy
Oz announces his engagement to a German girl despite being married already, Barry comes up with a way to improve the quality of life, and a change of massage parlour gives Bomber cause for concern.

"She must be pretty thick if she thinks you're the Queen Mother."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E12

LOVE AND OTHER FOUR-LETTER WORDS

Originally broadcast: 3 February 1984
Directed by: Baz Taylor
Written by: Ian La Frenais
A new girl in admin gets the attention of both Oz and Wayne, an unwanted guest in the hut puts Barry on edge, and Dennis discovers that he has a huge decision to make.

"Hey, not so much of the nerk, thank you very much. Kismet's not a name, right? Squid brain!"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E13

WHEN THE BOAT GOES OUT

Originally broadcast: 10 February 1984
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Stan Hey
Changes in the law mean that crunch time's looming for the lads, Dennis's mood nearly costs Oz his life, and Wayne isn't best chuffed when Barry decides to work on his bike inside the hut.

"Barry, don't take this the wrong way, will ya? But... why don't you go and boil your head?"
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

SERIES TWO

(1986)
13 episodes
Series Score: 111
Episode Average: 8.54
Perfect 10's: 3
S2E1

THE RETURN OF THE SEVEN: PART 1

Originally broadcast: 21 February 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Barry calls his old friends for help with his soon to be marital home, Brenda convinces Neville that he could do with a break, and Dennis makes the most of his boss being abroad.

"You know the reason I left this country in the first place, divvn't ya, eh? I'll tell ye. In a word, Margaret bloody Thatcher, that's why. Because I'd had it, I was up to there with what she'd created. Bloody wasteland. Desolate. Nae joy, nae hope, nae nowt. Where kids get to 21 and never done a day's work in their life. Honest men have to gan out thieving to feed their families. Young bairns can buy heroin in the bike sheds at school. Oh, dear. But I thought, "Nah, nah, nah. It's got to be getting better. It cannae be as bad as what it was, can it?" I was willing to give you lot the benefit of the doubt on this one, ya know. But no, no, no. What happens? What happens is I've been back on my native soil for 14 minutes, and I'm subjected to this act of fascist intimidation! 'Cos that's what it is, ya know! That's what it is, and I'll be writing to my MP about this!"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E2

THE RETURN OF THE SEVEN: PART 2

Originally broadcast: 28 February 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Barry's worried about losing his driving licence, Dennis heads back to Newcastle to face the wrath of Ally Fraser, and Oz tells of his life since being kicked out of the Falklands.

"Obviously a graduate of the John McEnroe School of Charm and Deportment."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E3

A LAW FOR THE RICH

Originally broadcast: 7 March 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
The lads head to Derbyshire to do a job for Ally Fraser, Moxey has to make a confession when the police start sniffing about, and a preservation order puts the project on hold.

"What's this? I never put that on! Aga-bloody-doo?"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E4

ANOTHER COUNTRY

Originally broadcast: 14 March 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Neville's asked for advice about a barn conversion, Barry and Oz get into trouble when they try their hands at poaching, and Wayne tries to pull more than just pints.

"Remember what Arthur said. He don't like to be called mate, chief, squire, admiral, petal or bacon balls."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E5

A HOME FROM HOME

Originally broadcast: 21 February 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Stan Hey
Wayne's actions mean that the lads have nowhere to stay, the architect has to make changes when a decision's made to turn the manor into an old folk's home, and Bomber finds a pile of videos in the cellar.

"Anyway, one of the things they taught me was how to make my own bread, and do you know something, Neville? When they brought my little brown cob out of the oven hand-baked by me, I... I nearly cried. You know, now I think I know how women must feel when they give birth."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E6

COWBOYS

Originally broadcast: 28 March 1986
Directed by: Anthony Garner
Written by: Stan Hey
A homesick Neville's allowed some time to head back home, the new plumber takes the lads to a country and western club, and Ally isn't best pleased when he hears talk of a strike at the manor.

"How can someone so ugly make a nice noise like that?"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E7

NO SEX PLEASE, WE'RE BRICKIES

Originally broadcast: 4 April 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford, Anthony Garner
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Ally compromises on costs and comes up with a way for Dennis to clear his debt, Wayne's not best pleased when his car comes to the attention of Customs and Excise, and Oz sets his sights on a more mature lady.

"Here, listen. Seeing as your so bloody good with initials, how about FO?"
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E8

MARJORIE DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

Originally broadcast: 11 April 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
The lads head to Newcastle as they wait for the job in Spain, Wayne talks to Brenda about the complications of becoming a dad, and Oz has to act fast when he learns that his kid's about to move to Italy.

"Honestly, it's been like Heartbreak Hotel here, this week. I'm thinking of leaving me job at the hospital and taking up marriage guidance."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E9

HASTA LA VISTA

Originally broadcast: 18 April 1986
Directed by: Anthony Garner
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Dennis has bad news for the lads at the airport, Moxey disappears after getting into a fight at Ally's club, and alternative arrangements are made to get the lads out to Spain.

"Rack 'em up. You rack 'em and I'll smack 'em."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E10

SCOOP

Originally broadcast: 25 April 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
The lads arrove in Spain surrounded by pensioners, things get off to a bad start when they're found naked in the wrong pool, and a journalist thinks he's hit on a big story.

"What? Well, I might have a slight accent, but er... I know a lot of grammar and vocabulary, doesn't I, eh? Dazzle anybody, me."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E11

LAW AND DISORDER

Originally broadcast: 2 May 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Stan Hey
Ally gives the lads a couple of days off so they can blend in, two journalists make a nuisance of themselves as they try and discredit the original article, and a trip to Gibraltar doesn't quite go to plan.

"That's a good idea. It might improve your image if you're found playing bingo with old age pensioners."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E12

FOR BETTER OR WORSE

Originally broadcast: 9 May 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Bomber warns Wayne that Vicki's off-limits, Hazel starts to relax into the lifestyle of yachts and gambling, and Dennis gets picked up by customs while doing a job for Ally.

"No, no. I can gan along with that. I was at Villa Park one year and someone pissed in me pocket. I was furious."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E13

QUO VADIS, PET

EPISODE DEDICATED TO GARY HOLTON (WAYNE)
Originally broadcast: 16 May 1986
Directed by: Roger Bamford
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Barry's persuaded to stick with plans to get married on Kenny's yacht, Ally loses it when Vicki suggests she's going to leave him while he's away on business, and Oz gets lucky... twice!

"I wasn't denigrating or your looks or nowt. I just thought you know... a bloke that's a fugitive from justice could do with a new face, that's all."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

SERIES THREE

(2002)
6 episodes
Series Score: 54
Episode Average: 9.0
Perfect 10's: 2
S3E1

BRIDGING THE GAP

Originally broadcast: 28 April 2002
Directed by: Paul Seed
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Death walks in while the lads are reminiscing at a wake, an ambitious demolition project requires big investment, and an unfamiliar face brings sad news from the south.

"Oh, aye, it's quaint. I cannae get used to waking up to the sound of cows in the morning. Mind, I've woken up with a few in me time, like."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E2

HEAVY METAL

Originally broadcast: 5 May 2002
Directed by: Paul Seed
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Bomber ends up in hospital after collapsing in the pub, Oz discovers the truth about the relationship between Tatiana and her brother, and Neville wants better living conditions for the foreign workforce.

"Hells bollocks, it's hard to get used to the new Oz, lad. Mind you, the old one turned up when you lamped that flippin' dealer. It's like living with Jekyll & Hyde, man."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E3

BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER

Originally broadcast: 12 May 2002
Directed by: Paul Seed
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Moxey tells the lads how he got hold of the money to pay his share, Oz finds out the truth about his son's singing career, and there are problems when the buyer for the bridge pulls out.

"Oh, I don't know about that, son. I cannot see your father floating around a gay club with a sticker that says, 'access all areas', eh?"
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E4

A BRIDGE TOO FAR

Originally broadcast: 19 May 2002
Directed by: Paul Seed
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
The lads try to wrestle ownership of the bridge away from Grainger, Barry's forced to confront the issues with his marriage and business, and the lads head to Arizona when the buyer comes up with a plan.

"I've got to say something. I'm with Neville and Bomb on this bridge issue. I mean that Joe is a real gentleman. He's the actual genuine article bona fide noble savage."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E5

ANOTHER COUNTRY

Originally broadcast: 26 May 2002
Directed by: Paul Seed
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Kadi's revenge sees the lads appearing in front of an American court, the police look for Moxey after fishing a body out of the Tees, and Oz has his finest moment when he talks to a man in high places.

"Oooh, I think you do. There's nothing wrong with that. The trouble is, as you get older, you become horribly aware of all the young flesh that will never be yours. I mean, when... when you're young, anything's possible... anything. When you get to our age, you know you're never gonna bonk Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E6

AN INSPECTOR CALLS

Originally broadcast: 2 June 2002
Directed by: Paul Seed
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Wyman's still missing after being run off the road, Dennis heads for home to sort out a deal with Grainger for the missing cradle, and a copper from Middlesbrough arrives to speak to Moxey.

"Well, Den's told me that there's a cop out here looking for me, so I fancy a bit of shape-shifting, just till he goes home, like. I wouldn't want anything permanent."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

COMIC RELIEF

(2003)




SPECIAL

COMIC RELIEF

Originally broadcast: 14 March 2003
The only room available at a hotel is the honeymoon suite, Moxey covers the cost when he finds a suitcase full of money in the foyer, and it's left to Dennis and Neville to protest at spending what isn't theirs.
Rate:
Watched Wanted Custom

SERIES FOUR

(2004)
6 episodes
Series Score: 47
Episode Average: 7.83
Perfect 10's: 1
S4E1

BRITANNIA WAIVES THE RULES

Originally broadcast: 3 January 2004
Directed by: Maurice Phillips
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
A job in Russia ends in spectacular style, Oz hears about a government agency responsible for foreign building contracts, and Barry's questioned about his connections with a Russian crime lord.

"What's the panic? I was in the middle of a dump when you called."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E2

OUR MEN IN HAVANA

Originally broadcast: 10 January 2004
Directed by: Maurice Phillips
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
The lads arrive in Cuba to work on the Ambassador's residence, Dennis tries to ease tensions over what happened back in England, and Moxey and Bomber can't believe it when they spot Oz queuing for the ballet.

"Missed your chance there, Oz. First night in Havana, you could've plundered a local."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E3

A GIFT FROM FIDEL

Originally broadcast: 17 January 2004
Directed by: Maurice Phillips
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Barry finds himself reading Hemingway in a bath at the side of the road, a funeral threatens two important engagements in the city, and Neville's not sure he can make the sacrifice needed for his first assignment.

"And he played it like Stradivarius on the ukulele "
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E4

MOONLIGHTING

Originally broadcast: 24 January 2004
Directed by: David Innes Edwards
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Wyman isn't the only one to receive a letter from his mum, an offer of help sees Oz and Dennis settle their differences, and Barry finds himself in trouble after going a bit heavy on the nibbles.

"Not from me, Den. I'd go out with you in a flash, only Tina's got nicer knockers."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E5

DANGEROUS LIAISONS

Originally broadcast: 31 January 2004
Directed by: David Innes Edwards
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Efforts are made to get Barry released, Wyman's annoyed when he discovers his mum in Cuba, and Oz is determined that nothing will become between him and Ofelia.

"You're turning into a bit of a loner, Nev. Mind you, I can relate to that. I've always been a bit of a loner meself. Then again, so's Johnny Depp."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E6

THE END OF THE AFFAIR

Originally broadcast: 7 February 2004
Directed by: David Innes Edwards
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Oz and Chrissie come up with a plan to get Ofelia out of Cuba, the lads confront Neville after he leaves a strange message for Brenda, and the condition of Barry's mental state means a huge sacrifice must be made.

"That's fair enough, but I'd be hacked off if you shagged my mother."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

SPECIALS

(2004)




SPECIAL

AU REVOIR (PART 1)

Originally broadcast: 28 December 2004
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Bomber stuns the lads with a letter announcing an end to his travels, Moxey wonders whether he too should call it a day, and Neville joins Barry and a pregnant Tatiana on the Orient Express.

"Well, I don't fancy a pubic ping-pong ball in the eye."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


SPECIAL

AU REVOIR (PART 2)

EPISODE DEDICATED TO PAT ROACH (BOMBER)
Originally broadcast: 29 December 2004
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
The lads are desperate to find Barry when he's kidnapped by bandits, an offer of information turns out to be a trap, and a proposal to build a village wash house helps break the monotony of being held captive.

"Help! I'm a brickie, get me out of here!"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7
Rate:
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The Magnificent Seven

DENNIS PATTERSON

Bricklayer
THE ORIGINAL


Played by Tim Healy
26 episodes
(1983-1986)
in... The Alien (S1E9)


THE REVIVAL

Played by Tim Healey
14 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... Heavy Metal (S3E2)

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LEONARD OSBORNE

"OZ"

Bricklayer
THE ORIGINAL


Played by Jimmy Nail
26 episodes
(1983-1986)
in... Last Rites (S1E10)


THE REVIVAL

Played by Jimmy Nail
14 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... Bridging the Gap (S3E1)

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NEVILLE HOPE

Bricklayer
THE ORIGINAL


Played by Kevin Whately
26 episodes
(1983-1986)
in... The Girls They Left Behind (S1E3)


THE REVIVAL

Played by Kevin Whately
14 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... Bridge Over Troubled Water (S3E3)

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BARRY SPENCER TAYLOR
"THE RADISH"

Electrician
THE ORIGINAL


Played by Timothy Spall
26 episodes
(1983-1986)
in... If I Were a Carpenter (S1E1)


THE REVIVAL

Played by Timothy Spall
14 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... An Inspector Calls (S3E6)

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ALBERT MOXEY

"BRENDAN MULCAHY" & "FRANCIS FOGARTY"
Plasterer
THE ORIGINAL


Played by Christopher Fairbank
25 episodes
(1983-1986)
in... Love and Other Four-Letter Words (S1E12)

THE REVIVAL

Played by Christopher Fairbank
14 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... Another Country (S3E5)

Rate:
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BRIAN BUSBRIDGE
"BOMBER"

Bricklayer
THE ORIGINAL


Played by Pat Roach
24 episodes
(1983-1986)
in... When the Boat Goes Out (S1E13)


THE REVIVAL

Played by Pat Roach
12 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... A Bridge Too Far (S3E4)

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WAYNE WINSTON NORRIS

"LONDON"

Carpenter
THE ORIGINAL


Played by Gary Holton
26 episodes
(1983-1986)
in... If I Were a Carpenter (S1E1)


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The New Seventh

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WYMAN NORRIS

General Labourer
THE REVIVAL

Played by Noel Clarke
14 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... Bridge Over Trouble Waters (S3E3)

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Dennis's Women

VERA PATTERSON

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Caroline Hutchison
4 episodes
(1983-1984)
in... The Girls They Left Behind (S1E3)


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DAGMAR

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Brigitte Kahn
8 episodes
(1983-1986)
in... The Accused (S1E6)


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CHRISTINE CHADWICK

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Madelaine Newton
6 episodes
(1986)
in... Law and Disorder (S2E11)


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CHRISSIE

THE REVIVAL

Played by Sandra James-Young
4 episodes
(2004)
in... Dangerous Liaisons (S3E5)

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Oz's Women

MARJORIE OSBORNE

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Su Elliot
3 episodes
(1983-1986)
in... No Sex Please, We're Brickies (S2E7)


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Uli

ULI

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Maya Woolfe
1 episode
(1984)
in... The Lovers (S1E11)


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JOY CHATTERLEY

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Morag Hood
1 episode
(1986)
in... No Sex Please, We're Brickies (S2E7)


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VICKI

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Lesley Saint-John
10 episodes
(1986)
in... A Home from Home (S2E5)


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SARAH

THE REVIVAL

Played by Emily Bruni
6 episodes
(2002)
in... Bridge Over Troubled Water (S3E3)

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OFELIA ORTIZ

THE REVIVAL

Played by Josefina Gabrielle
5 episodes
(2004)
in... A Gift from Fidel (S4E3)

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HAZEL

THE REVIVAL

Played by Lucy Bayler
1 episode
(2004)
in... Au Revoir (Part 1) (Special)

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Neville's Women

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BRENDA HOPE

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Julia Tobin
12 episodes
(1983-1986)
in... Cowboys (S2E6)


THE REVIVAL

Played by Julia Tobin
10 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... Bridging the Gap (S3E1)

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Barry's Women

HAZEL REDFERN

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Melanie Hill
6 episodes
(1986)
in... For Better or Worse (S2E12)


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TATIANA TAYLOR

THE REVIVAL

Played by Branka Katic
7 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... Bridge Over Troubled Water (S3E3)

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Moxey's Women

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ELENA

THE REVIVAL

Played by Joanne Good
2 episodes
(2004)
in... Au Revoir: (Part 2 (Special)

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Bomber's Women

PATSY BUSBRIDGE

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Sheila Reid
1 episode
(1983)
in... Home Thoughts From Abroad
(S1E5)


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LAINIE PROUDFOOT

THE REVIVAL

Played by Georgina Lightning
4 episodes
(2002)
in... An Inspector Calls (S3E6)

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Wayne's Women

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CHRISTA

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Lysette Anthony
2 episodes
(1984)
in... When the Boat Goes Out (S1E13)


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CAROL PRINGLE

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Catherine Rabett
1 episode
(1986)
in... Another Country (S2E4)



...and an unnamed conquest...

COWGIRL

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Gina McKee
1 episode
(1986)
in... Cowboys (S2E6)


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Wyman's Women

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TINA

THE REVIVAL


Played by Zoë Eeles
5 episodes (2004)
in... Our Men in Havana (S4E2)

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Other Family

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DEBBIE HOPE

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Catherine Whately
6 episodes
(1986)
in... The Return of the Seven: Part 1
(S2E1)


THE REVIVAL

Played by Danielle Davison
4 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... Heavy Metal (S3E2)

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NORMA PATTERSON

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Val McLane
8 episodes
(1986)
in... No Sex Please, We're Brickies (S2E7)


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ROD OSBORNE

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Barry Hollinshead
1 episode
(1986)
in... Marjorie Doesn't Live Here Anymore
(S2E8)


THE REVIVAL

Played by Mark Stobbart
2 episodes
(2002)
in... Bridge Over Troubled Water (S3E2)

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FIONA HOPE

THE REVIVAL

Played by Bridie Hales
3 episodes
(2002-2004)
in... Heavy Metal (S3E2)

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TRACY BUSBRIDGE

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Lucinda Edmonds
1 episode
(1983)
in... Home Thoughts From Abroad
(S1E5)


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Others

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ALLY FRASER

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Bill Paterson
12 episodes
(1986)
in... The Return of the Seven: Part 2
(S2E2)


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HERR ULRICH

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Peter Birch
8 episodes
(1983-1984)
in... Home Thoughts From Abroad (S1E5)


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KENNY AMES

THE ORIGINAL


Played by James Booth
8 episodes
(1986)
in... A Home from Home (S2E5)


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TARQUIN PEARCE

THE REVIVAL

Played by Alexander Hanson
7 episodes
(2004)
in... Our Men in Havana (S4E2)

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JEREMY GRAINGER

THE REVIVAL

Played by Bill Nighy
6 episodes
(2002)
in... Heavy Metal (S3E2)

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RAUL ORTIZ

THE REVIVAL

Played by Javier Alcina
6 episodes
(2004)
in... A Gift from Fidel (S4E3)

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JOE SAUGUS

THE REVIVAL

Played by George Tootoosis
6 episodes
(2002)
in... Bridge Over Troubled Water (S3E3)

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HERR GRUNWALD

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Michael Sheard
5 episodes
(1983-1984)
in... Who Won the War Anyway? (S1E2)


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ARTHUR PRINGLE

THE ORIGINAL


Played by Bryan Pringle
5 episodes
(1986)
in... A Law for the Rich (S2E3)


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HOWARD RADCLIFF

THE ORIGINAL


Played by John Bowler
5 episodes
(1986)
in... Another Country (S2E4)


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Load more items (13 more in this list)

Part of the
British Comedy Collection
With the construction industry on its arse in Britain, six blokes end up on a building site in Düsseldorf. Far from living it up in hotels, the six of them are forced to share a grotty hut onsite. A dartboard turns six into seven...
The Magnificent Seven.

THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN



THE ORIGINAL
Wayne, Moxey, Bomber, Dennis,
Oz, Barry and Neville.



THE REVIVAL
Neville, Moxey, Dennis, Oz
Barry, Wyman and Bomber.


SERIES SCORES
Series 1: 8.38
Series 2: 8.54
Series 3: 9.00
Series 4: 7.83
FAVOURITE EPISODES
Holy Godiva
1. Last Rites
(Series 1, Episode 10 - 1984)

2. The Return of the Seven:
Part 2

(Series 2, Episode 2 - 1986)

3. A Bridge Too Far
(Series 3, Episode 4, 2002)

4. The End of the Affair
(Series 4, Episode 6, 2004)

5. An Inspector Calls
(Series 3, Episode 6, 2002)

6. No Sex Please, We're Brickies
(Series 2, Episode 7 - 1986)

7. When the Boat Goes Out
(Series 1, Episode 13 - 1984)

8. Bridge Over Troubled Water
(Series 3, Episode 3 - 2002)

9. The Girls They Left Behind
(Series 1, Episode 3 - 1983)

10. Another Country
(Series 2, Episode 4 - 1986)
Onion Jack
1. Last Rites
(Series 1, Episode 10 - 1984)

2. The Return of the Seven:
Part 2

(Series 2, Episode 2 - 1986)

3. When the Boat Goes Out
(Series 1, Episode 13 - 1984)

4. No Sex Please, We're Brickies
(Series 2, Episode 7 - 1986)

5. Bridge Over Troubled Water
(Series 3, Episode 3 - 2002)

6. An Inspector Calls
(Series 3, Episode 6, 2002)

7. Another Country
(Series 2, Episode 4 - 1986)

8. Private Lives
(Series 1, Episode 7 - 1983)

9. The End of the Affair
(Series 4, Episode 6, 2004)

10. Bridging the Gap
(Series 3, Episode 1 - 2002))


BREAKING AWAY

Performed by Joe Fagin

Used all my options,
Worked off my dues,
Played all the cards,
Now there's nothing to lose,
Don't want tomorrow,
To be like today,
That's why I'm breaking away.

I'm not trying to run,
Not trying to hide,
What can I win if I'm losing my pride?
Won't let tomorrow be like today,
That's why I'm breaking away.

Oo-oo, breaking away,
Got to find a better way,
Until the good times roll around again,
Auf Wiedersehen.


THAT'S LIVING ALRIGHT

Performed by Joe Fagin

Working on the site,
From morning till night,
That's living all right.
That's living all right.

Then a pint with the boys,
In a bar full of noise,
That's living all right.
That's living all right.

Working all day,
For a pittance of pay,
Then blow it away on a Saturday night,
And you kiss the dames,
But you don't ask their names,
That's living all right.

Working in the sun,
Drinking Schnapps, having fun,
That's living all right.
That's living all right.

Then a night in the town,
Spreading it around,
That's living all right.
That's living all right.

Working all day,
For a packet of pay,
And send a little back to the wife,
Still you keep a little here,
Just to keep you in beer,
Yeah you play the game,
Then it's auf wiedersehen,
That's living all right.

Telling a lie,
With a glint in your eye,
Cos tomorrow you'll be back on the site,
And you kiss the dames,
But don't ask their names,
That's living all right.

Yeah you play the game,
Then it's auf wiedersehen,
That's living all right.


GET IT RIGHT

Performed by Joe Fagin

No-one said it was gonna be easy,
Nobody said it had to be fair,
All of the chances we've taken together,
And all of the changes we've had to share,
Well, you think we made it all worthwhile,
Then you realise no-one cares,
But we're gonna get it right,
This time,
Cos we've passed the point of no return,
And we're never gonna go,
Down that road again.


BACK WITH THE BOYS AGAIN

Performed by Joe Fagin

Yes, it started a whole ago,
Just strangers thrown together,
Helpless heroes caught in a dream,
Boy, we made such a crazy team,
Out of luck,
And out on a limb,
We saw each other through,
Laughed it off,
And then we shared a few.

Back with the boys again.
Back with the boys again.

One for all,
And all for anyone,
Long as they play the game,
Sharin' chance but takin' all the blame,

Back with the boys again.
Ooh, we're back,
Back with the boys again.
Yeah, we're back.


And the now the masterpiece of lyrics...


WHY AYE MAN

Performed by Mark Knopfler

Why aye man,
Why aye, why aye man,
Why aye man.
Why aye, why aye man,
Why aye man.
Why aye, why aye man,
Why aye man.
Why aye, why aye man,
Why aye man.
Why aye, why aye man,
Why aye man.
Why aye, Why aye man,
Why aye man.
Why aye man.

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