British Comedy: Goodnight Sweetheart

Years: 1990-1994
Broadcaster: BBC
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Maurice Gran, Laurence Marks,
Gary Lawson, John Phelps, Sam Lawrence,
Geoff Rowley, Paul Makin, Paul Alexander,
Simon Braithwaite
Stars: Nicholas Lyndhurst, Victor McGuire
Episodes: 58
Episode Average: 7.172

BEST EPISODES:
When Two Worlds Collide (1998), Accentuate the Positive (1999)

SERIES ONE

(1993)
6 episodes
Series Score: 46
Episode Average: 7.67
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

RITES OF PASSAGE

Originally broadcast: 18 November 1993
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

A TV repairman walks into a 1940s theme pub after asking for directions, accusations about being a German spy seem a bit over the top, and the sound of an air raid siren makes the whole experience a little too real.

"You've gotta hand it to 'em... When it comes to kissing, they know a thing or two, these Yanks."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

FOOLS RUSH IN

Originally broadcast: 25 November 1993
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Ron asks about time travel after hearing a strange caller on the radio, Yvonne tries to hide the truth from Gary about his promotion interview, and a bric-a-brac sale proves to be a useful source for 1940s clothing.

"You'd squander the gift of time travel to lie in a basement staring at Marilyn Monroe's knickers? Ron, that is really gross."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

IS YOUR JOURNEY REALLY NECESSARY?

Originally broadcast: 2 December 1993
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Yvonne's not happy about wasting £120 on books about World War Two, Gary races to the Royal Oak after reading about an early bombing raid, and Phoebe opens up about her marriage during a night in the shelter.

"You've got me banged to rights... I admit it... I am Hitler's barber. Yeah, it's true. 'Something for the weekend, Adolf?', 'Oh, yes, Poland please, Gary'. Ah, what a joker. We only fell out because he wouldn't let me cut his fringe."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

THE MORE I SEE YOU

Originally broadcast: 9 December 1993
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Yvonne finds a suitcase full of 1940s memorabilia in the loft, a need for wartime documents means Ron has to be told the truth, and Gary doesn't know what to do when Phoebe begs to go back with him.

"Ron, I've only got a starter home. There's one small nook, and I couldn't afford any crannies."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

I GET ALONG WITHOUT YOU VERY WELL

Originally broadcast: 16 December 1993
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Yvonne agrees to spend more time getting involved with Gary's interests, a TV news report means there's no choice but to return to the 1940s, and Phoebe races to the hospital after an accident outside the Royal Oak.

"Yvonne, if I could make this up... I'd be writing Emmerdale Farm."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

IN THE MOOD

Originally broadcast: 23 December 1993
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Yvonne's furious about having her credit card rejected in a supermarket, Ron comes up with a guaranteed way to make money from time travel, and Gary proves his patriotism by arranging a meeting with the King.

"You're still a bonehead. You were a bonehead when you joined the force, you'll be bonehead the day after they chuck you out. You only got in 'cos you're dad was a bobby."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES TWO

(1995)
10 episodes
Series Score: 69
Episode Average: 6.90
Perfect 10's: 0

S2E1

DON'T GET AROUND MUCH ANY MORE

Originally broadcast: 20 February 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Ron suggests that Ducketts Passage holds the answer to money worries, Reg and Phoebe explain how life has changed while he's been abroad, and Gary can't help seeing the funny side when he drops in at the bank.

"Yeah, I always wanted to do my bit, but dad would never let me. I can only do it part-time of course, otherwise I'd have been a FANY... a First Aid Nursing Yeomanry... a FANY. You can't be a part-time FANY... and they're very difficult to get into."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

I GOT IT BAD AND THAT AIN'T GOOD

Originally broadcast: 27 February 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Yvonne wants to sort out the house move so she can start a family, Gary returns to the Royal Oak to make sure he's working properly, and a handsome foreigner provides competition for Phoebe's attention.

"Oh, you're so gauche, Gary. The pink triangle is a sign of Gay Pride. You know, like Mother's Pride, but wi' nowt taken out."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

JUST ONE MORE CHANCE

Originally broadcast: 6 March 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Paul Makin

Gary loses his licence and job after being convicted of drink-driving, Ron suggests going on holiday to Ducketts Passage for a bit of rest, and Yvonne asks a social worker friend to help out with marital problems.

"Well, I'll have it (a pair of tights) if you don't want it. I can always store me onion in it."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

WHO'S TAKING YOU HOME TONIGHT?

Originally broadcast: 13 March 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Ron finds himself coming under fire for the way he treats his workforce, Phoebe decides to make the most of a good day by offering to cook dinner, and Gary spends the night trying to enjoy two different meals.

"Shut up, Gary. You don't look a gift course in the mouth."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

WISH ME LUCK...

Originally broadcast: 20 March 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Yvonne fails to mention that promotion means relocating to Cheshire, Ron says a reluctant goodbye to his suicidal friend on Southwark Bridge, and Reg manages to interfere with Gary's plans of moving into the pub

"Now, now, it's strictly a professional acquaintance. She just occasionally buffs up my helmet."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

...AS YOU WAVE ME GOODBYE

Originally broadcast: 27 March 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Gary starts to realise the grim realities of living in 1941 London, Yvonne complains about being the target of an unwanted proposition, and Ron gets himself in trouble when he's caught groping the wrong woman.

"Difficult... as in this particular era, you've committed suicide. Shuffled off the mortal coil. Ran up the curtains to the choir invisible. Ceased to be. In short, you are an ex-Sparrow."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E7

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SWING ON A STAR

Originally broadcast: 3 April 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Gary isn't impressed at the idea of Yvonne taking her top off on stage, Ron accidentally hits on a great way to make a living from the past, and Phoebe suggests entering a talent competition to win a radiogram.

"Gregory always says no-one handles his leaning parts like me."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E8

NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT

Originally broadcast: 10 April 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Being a hit in the 40s leads to bigger venues and the offer of a contract, Gary loses track of his lines during a rehearsal for Yvonne's play, and the doctor prescribes a little something to help keep the nerves at bay.

"Oh, but that's silly. I mean, do they say 'Hello comma how are you question mark'?"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E9

LET YOURSELF GO

Originally broadcast: 24 April 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Paul Makin

Yvonne causes panic when she announces that she might be pregnant, Phoebe wants company for a trip to see her cousins in the country, and Gary isn't impressed by the presence of an American serviceman.

"I don't know. He just seemed a bit... weird."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E10

DON'T FENCE ME IN

Originally broadcast: 1 May 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Phoebe gets a worrying letter about the tenancy of the Royal Oak, construction workers at Ducketts passage report seeing a ghostly figure, and a conversation about sexual harassment gives Gary an idea.

"You must use the force, Skywalker."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

SPECIAL

(1995)

SPECIAL

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA

Originally broadcast: 26 December 1995
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Gary searches for the the perfect unit in the newly built Ducketts Plaza, the history books suggest that someone has let slip about Pearl Harbor, and an estate agent called Jayne Mansfield won't take no for an answer.

"Mind you, I would say no to a bit of raw fish, meself... because then I could get the missus to cook it."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES THREE

(1996)
10 episodes
Series Score: 72
Episode Average: 7.20
Perfect 10's: 1

S3E1

IT AIN'T NECESSARILY SO

Originally broadcast: 1 January 1996
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Yvonne offers to help in the shop when she finds herself at a loose end, Ron learns that his wife hasn't invited him to her New Year's Eve Party, and Gary causes problems for Phoebe by rowing with his landlady.

"I thought it was your feet not touching the ground that got you into this trouble."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E2

ONE O'CLOCK JUMP

Originally broadcast: 8 January 1996
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Yvonne's confused about an interview for a job that she didn't apply for, Phoebe discovers that the much needed beer delivery has been stolen, and Gary finds something surprising in Reg's secret personal life.

"Well, they've certainly been issued with riot wigs."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E3

IT'S A SIN TO TELL A LIE

Originally broadcast: 15 January 1996
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Reg worries that his wife is romantically involved with a brush salesman, Gary panics at news that the police are looking into counterfeit notes, and Yvonne struggles to come up with a story for a creative writing task.

"Ron's my name, printing's my game. I could win Mastermind if it wasn't for that stupid general knowledge section."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E4

CHANGE PARTNERS

Originally broadcast: 22 January 1996
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Ron turns to Gary for advice about how to save his crumbling marriage, Phoebe and Yvonne both complain about the state of their relationships, and Reg tries to build Buckingham Palace for his little boy's birthday.

"Now, that's not fair. Yes, I keep two gorgeous women happy and contented in every respect but I never let that go to my head."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E5

GOODNIGHT CHILDREN EVERYWHERE

Originally broadcast: 29 January 1996
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Geoff Rowley

Phoebe's young cousins return to the city when the threat of bombing eases, a newly homeless Ron threatens to tell Yvonne all about life in 1942, and a local parent complains about what Gary is teaching her child.

"Reg, most of what you know is a secret even for you."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E6

TURNED OUT NICE AGAIN

Originally broadcast: 5 February 1996
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Geoff Rowley

Ron joins a manhood workshop in a desperate attempt to find himself, Gary's horrified at the prospect of George Formby singing a Beatles classic, and Stella admits that her life isn't as exciting as she makes out.

"No, he's not. Ron is trying to raise his chances of getting his leg over. All this new age stuff's just a ploy to see if he can get into somebody's new age knickers. It's a blag, he still thinks the Rainbow Warrior is one of the Gladiators."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E7

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT A SOLDIER

Originally broadcast: 12 February 1996
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Paul Makin

Ron questions whether it's right to make a fortune from people's misery, Gary's left devastated when Phoebe's husband returns as a hero, and Yvonne insists that a proper job would a better idea for the future.

"How about a farewell drink? This one is on me. You have anything you want, as long as it's not a short, and the bitter's running out so I'll be obliged if you'll have half a mild."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E8

SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME

Originally broadcast: 19 February 1996
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Paul Makin

Gary feigns illness as an excuse for not making it to his interview, Ron mixes different cuisines in an effort to make up for eating lettuce, and Phoebe ends up in hospital when she's diagnosed with pneumonia.

"Oh, no... I hate Scotch broth. It looks like something that should be on the pavement outside an Indian restaurant."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E9

THE YANKS ARE COMING

Originally broadcast: 26 February 1996
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Gary does a deal with an American for jeep parts and a bomber jacket, Reg has a shock when he meets the cousin that he never knew he had, and Phoebe refuses to back down to the demands of a racist sergeant.

"George Formby, Britain's very own war crime."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E10

LET'S GET AWAY FROM IT ALL

Originally broadcast: 4 March 1996
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Paul Makin

Yvonne sets her heart on moving into an apartment in yuppie heaven, Reg is upset when the ARP decide to plant a shed on his allotment, and Phoebe announces her reason for needing somewhere a little bigger.

"It was gonna be a bumper crop an' all. I'm renowned round here for me green fingers. You should have heard the gasps when I showed the Womens' Institute my marrow. Mrs Bloss pinned a rosette on it."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

SERIES FOUR

(1997)
11 episodes
Series Score: 85
Episode Average: 7.73
Perfect 10's: 1

S4E1

YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY

Originally broadcast: 3 March 1997
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Gary starts smoking because of the pressures of impending fatherhood, Ron suggests investing in Swiss timepieces to prove the viability of the shop, and Reg walks in on his wife entertaining a group of Czech sailors.

"With all due respect, Phoebe, that is not the worst thing. I mean, you don't need lace and such like on your nightie, but as for the Chancellor saying you can't have a pocket on your pyjamas any more... I mean, where am I gonna keep my hanky when I'm in bed. Broke my heart having to cut the pockets off all me jim-jams."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E2

IN THE MOOD

Originally broadcast: 10 March 1997
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Sam Lawrence

Yvonne struggles with sickness ahead of a business trip to Korea, Phoebe makes it clear that sex is not an option while she's pregnant, and Gary has to search the streets of wartime London for his missing nephew.

"Gary, I am ill. I am barfing every minute on the minute. Under the circumstance, I'm not best pleased to be Mary Poppins. At present, spit-spot has an entirely different connotation for me."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E3

OUT OF THE TOWN

Originally broadcast: 17 March 1997
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Sam Lawrence

Phoebe struggles to hide her excitement about a holiday in the country, Ron agrees to lie to a homesick Yvonne when she phones from Korea, and plans have to be changed when Gary's dad turns up unannounced.

"Well, typical boys night in, you know... A few drinks, curry, big match."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E4

AND MOTHER CAME TOO

Originally broadcast: 24 March 1997
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Ron gets into trouble when he attacks Stella's lover with a cricket bat, news reaches the Royal Oak that Donald has been killed by a sniper, and Gary puts his foot in it when he finds Phoebe talking to the vicar.

"I pride myself with always looking for the best in people, and I know she's Donald's mum and she's grieving, but if Jerry was to send an incendiary bomb up her corsets tomorrow, this war would not have been in vain."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E5

THE LEAVING OF LIVERPOOL

Originally broadcast: 8 April 1997
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Geoff Rowley

Reg is left to run the pub when Phoebe goes to see her grandmother, Gary accidentally changes history when he meets Ron's grandfather, and Yvonne has a shock when she finds a strange man in her house.

"Jack Russell's don't need a name, they've already got one."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E6

HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?

Originally broadcast: 15 April 1997
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Gary and Phoebe disagree about the education of their unborn child, Reg asks for advice when he learns that Margie's husband is beating her up, and Yvonne suffers a miscarriage while on the plane home from Korea.

"Well, it's not gonna win an Oscar for special effects. I kept praying for Arnold Schwarzenegger to come in and say 'Hasta la vista middle-class English stereotypes'."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E7

EASY LIVING

Originally broadcast: 22 April 1997
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Geoff Rowley

Ron starts spending money to stop Stella getting her hands on it, Yvonne wants to go on a healing weekend after resigning from her job, and Gary gets stuck stocktaking when he should be meeting with a vicar in 1942.

"Yeah, you just never hear about Hitler's lunchbox."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E8

COME FLY WITH ME

Originally broadcast: 29 April 1997
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Sam Lawrence

Ron's told that he can't give up printing when he considers others jobs, Yvonne spots an opportunity in the world of alternative medicine, and Gary gets a little worse for wear after getting drunk at two stag nights.

"No, look. If you had made a nest in a chimney, would you be glad to see the sweep?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E9

HEARTACHES

Originally broadcast: 6 May 1997
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Paul Makin

Gary realises that he's meant to be somewhere when he wakes up late, Reg lies for Phoebe when she's not willing to listen to yet more excuses, and Yvonne's delighted when she spots a forgotten anniversary present.

"Look, Phoebe you can't carry on like this. Gary's been in here every day this week asking where you are. I can't keep it up any more pretending you're not here. You'll have to tell him it's over. It's doing me head off... up... in."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E10

CARELESS TALK...

Originally broadcast: 13 May 1997
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Phoebe asks for more help with preparations for the arrival of the baby, Ron insists on a date with Yvonne's friend in exchange for his services, and Gary's shocked when he's confronted about being a time-traveller.

"This'll all have to stop when Mr. Al-Fayed takes over, you know."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E11

THE BELLS ARE RINGING

Originally broadcast: 20 May 1997
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Paul Makin

Yvonne announces that she's invested everything in her new business, Ron puts his own problems aside when Gary races to be with Phoebe, and Reg manages to give the midwife a little too much medicinal brandy.

"Oooh, that'll be lovely. Is it jam or chocolate? Ergh, it don't look very appetising. Is that your first go at baking?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

SERIES FIVE

(1998)
10 episodes
Series Score: 74
Episode Average: 7.40
Perfect 10's: 1

S5E1

A ROOM WITH A VIEW

Originally broadcast: 23 February 1998
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

An unexpected air raid sends Gary and his son flying through the portal, a suspicious Yvonne demands to know who the child belongs to, and Phoebe agrees to the idea of moving west to escape the bombing.

"I thought so, because aloe vera is a plant extract, not a greeting from Coronation Street."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E2

LONDON PRIDE

Originally broadcast: 2 March 1998
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Yvonne's appears on television to discuss her recent business success, Gary starts to wonder what his place is in the new celebrity lifestyle, and Phoebe insists on elocution lessons after being made to feel stupid.

"Oh, I wouldn't want an 'ole 'aunch. Half an 'aunch would be hadequate."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E3

WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE

Originally broadcast: 9 March 1998
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Ron manages to get a date after joining an agency, Reg gets a bang on the head when an unexploded bomb goes off in Ducketts Passage, and Gary gets the shock of his life when Phoebe turns up in the shop.

"Look, to use football parlance, I haven't been in the opposition's half for over a year, let alone got anywhere near the box."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E4

MAIRZY DOATS

Originally broadcast: 16 March 1998
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Geoff Rowley

Gary's horrified when a fellow time traveller turns up in the Royal Oak, Yvonne agrees to get free tickets for a big match at Stamford Bridge, and Reg's newly discovered detective skills see him moved to Scotland Yard.

"I can't understand half of what he's going on about anyway. I mean, who are Oddjob and Blofeld? I mean Oddfeld and Blow..."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E5

PENNIES FROM HEAVEN

Originally broadcast: 23 March 1998
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Geoff Rowley

Gary refuses to cheat on his wives to give Ron time to print more fivers, Yvonne insists on making the most of a couple of red hot racing tips, and an illegal bookmaker spoils a perfectly good plan to win on the dogs.

"Haslet sandwiches. Well, I've gone off tomato soup. I was thinking about it that long it went cold."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E6

WE DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU...

Originally broadcast: 30 March 1998
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Sam Lawrence

Yvonne goes away on a business trip to launch a new product range, Gary's lies finally catch up with him when he gets picked up by MI5, and Ron insists that a mission on the Isle of Wight will be a dangerous one.

"Well, nothing, Gary. No bravery involved. Nothing that couldn't be done by a craven coward. A snivelling cry-baby. A pansy-pansy poo-pants."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E7

...BUT WE THINK YOU HAVE TO GO

Originally broadcast: 6 April 1998
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Sam Lawrence

Gary's quickly captured after being dropped off in occupied France, Phoebe's far from happy about the idea of sharing a bed with a stranger, and Ron can't believe his luck when he's paid to babysit a fashion model.

"You were right to trust, Gary, they were wrong. I am double agent. I swing both ways."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E8

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A DREAM WALKING?

Originally broadcast: 13 April 1998
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Gary's experiences in France threatens to tip him over the edge of sanity, Ron looks into the ownership of a flat after the repo men clear him out, and Yvonne and Phoebe get together to deliver the ultimate nightmare.

"Don't worry, Gary. I'll be gentle with ya."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E9

LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH

Originally broadcast: 20 April 1998
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Reg's grandson reveals that the old man now lives in a nursing home, Yvonne shrugs off the fact that her autobiography is filled with lies, and Gary's horrified to learn that he's about to be killed by a bus in 1944.

"He was talking about me, Ron. I was that watermelon!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E10

MY HEART BELONGS TO DADDY

Originally broadcast: 27 April 1998
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Sam Lawrence

Phoebe insists on having a song written for her after discovering her singing talent, Ron struggles to get to grips with the language of Lonely Hearts, and Gary's stunned when his adult son walks into the shop.

"There is every chance that I shall feature strongly in the Millennium Dome scratch'n'sniff module."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES SIX

(1999)
10 episodes
Series Score: 62
Episode Average: 6.20
Perfect 10's: 1

S6E1

MINE'S A DOUBLE

Originally broadcast: 18 April 1999
Directed by: Nic Phillips
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Gary has trouble with a clone after being hit by lightning in Ducketts Passage, Yvonne isn't impressed about being stood up for a trip to Paris, and Phoebe's charmed into wearing nothing but a necklace and a smile.

"You have lost it, mate. It's all this flipping between time zones. Housemaids do their knees. Tennis players their elbows. You've got time-travellers nut!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E2

ALL ABOUT YVONNE

Originally broadcast: 25 April 1999
Directed by: Nic Phillips
Written by: Gary Lawson, John Phelps

Yvonne chucks Gary out when he questions how he fits in with her life, Ron finally finds himself a woman when he lies to a wealthy neighbour, and Phoebe demands answers after an unfortunate slip of tongue.

"Look, for the first time since Camilla Parker Bowles was allowed out in daylight, I've got a woman who's neither imaginary, inflatable or on an hourly rate."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E3

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'

Originally broadcast: 2 May 1999
Directed by: Nic Phillips
Written by: Sam Lawrence

Reg prepares for a farewell party after being retired by the police force, Gary faced with a problem when both of his wives talk of emigrating, and Phoebe takes over a night club when the lease on the pub runs out.

"How can you do it? How can you stand there 130ft high, stark naked, with people standing inside your tits saying, 'I can see my house from here'?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E4

GRIEF ENCOUNTER

Originally broadcast: 16 May 1999
Directed by: Nic Phillips
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Yvonne's furious about her partner's involvement in a hostile takeover, Gary turns down a chance to appear in Noël Coward's 'Brief Encounter', and Phoebe gets a little too close to a composer called Tony Blair.

"Did you know... 'bigamist' is very nearly an anagram of 'I am a git'?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E5

...THE 'OUSES IN BETWEEN

Originally broadcast: 23 May 1999
Directed by: Nic Phillips
Written by: Geoff Rowley

Ron begs for a favour when his demanding girlfriend leaves him skint, Gary meets a familiar face in the 1880s after going the wrong way, and Reg puts his commissionaire job at risk by agreeing to babysit Michael.

"I should have bought up a pop-up toaster, I could've started a new religion."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E6

JUST IN TIME

Originally broadcast: 30 May 1999
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Geoff Rowley

Gary has to make a decision when a maintenance man appears in the shop, Yvonne realises that she gets a thrill from giving her money away, and Ron hits the jackpot when he does a deal to sell the entire stock.

"Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. Don't you worry, your contacts will come up trumps, they always do, Anyway, I'm off upstairs. Old Mrs Dale's got a potato she needs peeling. Don't tell anyone, people can get very jealous."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E7

HOW I WON THE WAR

Originally broadcast: 6 June 1999
Directed by: Robin Nash
Written by: Sam Lawrence

Ron agrees to find out what Yvonne's getting up to with New Labour, Phoebe agrees to travel to Belgium with ENSA to entertain the troops, and Gary's put in charge when the group end up behind enemy lines.

"See him? That's Roger Makepeace, he used to come directly under Peter Mandelson. If you see what I mean."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E8

SOMETHING FISHIE

Originally broadcast: 13 June 1999
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Sam Lawrence

The soon to be Baroness Sparrow of Lumbutt tries on her official robe, Ron hits an all time low as he struggles to cope with being dumped, and Gary's forced to act when the club gets targeted by a protection racket.

"It's no small honour, Gary. At the grand opening, I shall be entered simultaneously by the entire cabinet."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E9

FLASH, BANG, WALLOP

Originally broadcast: 21 June 1999
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Paul Alexander, Simon Braithwaite

Yvonne announces that she's been selected as a judge for a book prize, Gary's shocked to see a picture of himself in Noel Coward's biography, and Ron reads that the gym might contain the answer to his prayers.

"Well, it don't seem natural to me, throwing up a drink before you've even swallowed it."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E10

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

Originally broadcast: 28 June 1999
Directed by: Terry Kinane
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Yvonne demands answers after witnessing the impossible at the shop, Gary saves Clement Attlee from an assassination attempt, and Reg stumbles upon a devastated friend in the darkness of Ducketts Passage.

"Why do I suddenly fancy a can of Tango?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

RETURNED AS A ONE-OFF FOR THE BBC SITCOM SEASON

SPECIAL

(2016)

SPECIAL

MANY HAPPY RETURNS

Originally broadcast: 2 September 2016
Directed by: Martin Dennis
Written by: Laurence Marks, Maurice Gran

Gary realises the significance of the date and goes to see his own birth, holding his newborn self catapults him to Duckett's Village in 2016, and seeing Yvonne on Dragon's Den means a trip to the television studio.

"Does this mean you're back in the old routine? Two wives, two time zones, lots of lying and deceit. Me have to cover for you. Cos I've really missed that."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

GARY
SPARROW

Played by Nicholas Lyndhurst
58 Episodes (1993-1999)
in... Don't Get Around Much Any More (1995)

2016
SPECIAL

RON
WHEATCROFT

Played by Victor McGuire
58 Episodes (1993-1999)
in... The Yanks are Coming (1996)

2016
SPECIAL

PC REG
DEADMAN

Played by Christopher Ettridge
54 Episodes (1993-1999)
in... You're Driving Me Crazy (1997)

2016
SPECIAL

PHOEBE
BAMFORD

Played by Dervla Kirwan
27 Episodes (1993-1996)
in... I Got It Bad and That Ain't Good (1995)

PHOEBE
BAMFORD

Played by Elizabeth Carling
31 Episodes (1997-1999)
in... Have You Ever Seen a Dream Walking? (1998)

2016
SPECIAL

YVONNE
SPARROW

Played by Michelle Holmes
27 Episodes (1993-1996)
in... Rites of Passage (1993)

YVONNE
SPARROW

Played by Emma Amos
30 Episodes (1997-1999)
in... In the Mood (1997)

2016
SPECIAL

MARGIE
HOOK

Played by Eve Bland
7 Episodes (1995-1996)
in... Heartaches (1997)

ERIC

Played by David Ryall
6 Episodes (1993)
in... In the Mood (1993)

NOËL
COWARD

Played by David Benson
6 Episodes (1998-1999)
in... A Room with a View (1998)

MRS.
BLOSS

Played by Yvonne D'Alpra
4 Episodes (1995-1997)
in... As You Wave Me Goodbye (1995)

STELLA
WHEATCROFT

Played by Nimmy March
4 Episodes (1995-1996)
in... It Ain't Necessarily So (1996)

FLIC

Played by Sonya Walger
3 Episodes (1999)
in... How I Won the War (1999)