British Comedy: Creature Comforts

Years: 2003-2008*
Broadcaster: ITV/CBS/Animal Planet
Genre: Animation, Comedy
Stars: The Great British/American Public
Episodes: 33
Episode Average: 7.545

BEST EPISODES:
Working Animals (2003), Pets at the Vets (2003)

*not including original short film

SHORT FILM

(1989)

FILM

CREATURE COMFORTS

Originally broadcast: 15 July 1989
Directed by: Nick Park

"Um, um, do you like lions as well then?
Do you like steaks and chips with lions with it?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SERIES ONE

(2003)
13 episodes
Series Score: 104
Episode Average: 8.0
Perfect 10's: 4

S1E1

THE CIRCUS

Originally broadcast: 10 October 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Slapstick just isn't funny, I don't think. D'ya know what I mean?
A car falling apart and somebody falling over"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

PETS AT THE VETS

Originally broadcast: 17 October 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Doctors have always scared me because when I was born I nearly died.
I had a 50/50 per cent chance of living when I was born and I was in a little incubator and all my eyes were covered over.
And I was yellow, which was awful."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

WORKING ANIMALS

Originally broadcast: 24 October 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"I'm alright walking on the flat and downhill, but I can't go uphill. As soon as I start to go uphill, I get chest pains and it starts to tighten up. So what I do, where I live there's a downhill to what they call the Co-op. I walk down there, and come back on the bus."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

THE SEA

Originally broadcast: 30 October 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"I don't like the idea of being underwater for too long. About a minute is long enough for me. As long as I can hold my breath and then I want to be out of there."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

THE GARDEN

Originally broadcast: 6 November 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Oh yeah, gardening, it's not an easy job. Erm, you know, when you're digging all day, you know, the old back tends to suffer at the end of the day. You make it as easy as you can, really."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

FEEDING TIME

Originally broadcast: 13 November 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"I don't catch flies because they eat poo, and I don't like poo."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

THE BEACH

Originally broadcast: 20 November 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"No, don't want to burn my skin, do I? Bad for you."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E8

THE PET SHOP

Originally broadcast: 27 November 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"I don't think that I'm awful looking, I think I'm alright looking. People always say that I've got very open honest eyes, so I think that I would be pretty nice to have around, and have hanging about the place on the sofa."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E9

WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

Originally broadcast: 4 December 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"It would be worrying, though, wouldn't it? If you had six legs, where would your arse be?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E10

BEING A BIRD

Originally broadcast: 4 December 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Funnily enough, I've only actually been flying about four time in my life. The last time I went, I went to Italy in May, and that I found fine. I got over it, and I realised it's an irrational fear, but before that it really was a white-knuckle ride. To be honest with you, I do have quite a few fears and phobias. I don't like heights, either, but flying was a bad one for me for a while, but I'm fine with it now."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E11

IS ANYONE OUT THERE?

Originally broadcast: 11 December 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"An unidented flying object? No, I've never seen one of... I don't even know what one is."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E12

CATS AND DOGS

Originally broadcast: 18 December 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Dogs wag their tails to get the smell of their farts away, and the cat just walks around with its tail in the air."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E13

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Originally broadcast: 25 December 2003
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"I do feel that I'm being pulled in all directions. Erm, they're all going to get a piece of me."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

SERIES TWO

(2005-2006)
13 episodes
Series Score: 101*
Episode Average: 7.77
Perfect 10's:
*including special

S2E1

BEAST IN SHOW

Originally broadcast: 30 October 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Yeah, Pat, there maybe people that buy them, I don't know. I don't buy my eggs personally, I... no."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

THE BROOD

Originally broadcast: 6 November 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"When the baby was born, I looked at the baby and it was all wrinkly and old looking, and I said 'Oooo, what is that?'"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

PET HATES

Originally broadcast: 13 October 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"I hate spiders, and... um, I hate spiders, and... oh oh... spiders and... yeah, spiders."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

IMPRESSIONS

Originally broadcast: 20 November 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"I do a pig..."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

ANIMALS IN THE 'HOOD

Originally broadcast: 27 November 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Erm, what next? Bedroom with a big leek in the roof. Which we don't know where it's coming from 'cos nobody's bothered to look."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

SPORT!

Originally broadcast: 4 December 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Well, every time you go fishing, you never know what you're gonna catch, and, erm, every bite you get could be something different. I mean, I just caught a perch, which is only a little thing, a spiky perch."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E7

MONARCHY BUSINESS

Originally broadcast: 11 December 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Where I come from, you know, joking about royals is not a funny thing, you know. You can go to prison, you get locked up, you get tortured, you get killed, you get disappeared, you get sex cnanges. They do many nasty things to them because they talked about royals"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E8

ANIMAL MAGNETISM

Originally broadcast: 18 December 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Ooo, I pulled a mussel!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E9
SPECIAL

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

Originally broadcast: 25 December 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"I don't know if I've ever listened to The Queen give her Christmas message, but I presume she speaks in a silly voice and says a load of old guff."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E10

BED TIME

Originally broadcast: 8 January 2006
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Normally, I'd have six to seven sleep. I think it's advisable to have seven. Erm, I know if you have more than seven or less than seven, you're likely to die earlier."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E11

SELF IMAGE

Originally broadcast: 15 January 2006
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"If you listen to your own body, your body, your inner sense will tell you what you shouldn't be eating. But then, you've got bananas. I absolutely love bananas. But my body doesn't like bananas."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E12

COMMUNICATION

Originally broadcast: 22 January 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"How bad is the new language? Look at bling. Who's saying bling now? Everybody! Bling."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E13

SAFARI PARK

Originally broadcast: 29 January 2005
Directed by: Richard Goleszowski

"Male monkeys like red coloured cars because female's bottoms are red when they're in season, they sort of shine a bit more."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

CREATURE COMFORTS AMERICA

(2007)
7 episodes
Series Score: 44
Episode Average: 6.29
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

PETS AT THE VETS / SECRETS & LIES /
ANIMAL MAGNESTISM

Originally broadcast: 4 June 2007
Directed by: Merlin Crossingham, Dave Osmand

"The first thing I noticed was her eyes, really. And her facial expressions. That's what I remember most. She likes it when I compliment her. On her looks. She likes that. Most women do."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

SELF IMAGE / WINGIN' IT / ART

Originally broadcast: 11 June 2007
Directed by: Merlin Crossingham, Dave Osmand, Richard Goleszowski

"I really think most people don't know very much about print making. I've had occasion for people to wander in and see me doing prints, and they're always really surprised and interested in how it works because it's a really interesting medium."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

WINTER / THE ZOO

Originally broadcast: 18 June 2007
Directed by: Merlin Crossingham, Dave Osmand, Richard Goleszowski

"Yeah, after hours at the zoo, everybody does like to go out and have a good time. Erm... We are party animals."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

GROWING UP / FEARS & PHOBIAS /
SOMETHING'S AFOOT

Originally broadcast: 1 May 2008 (Animal Planet)
Directed by: Merlin Crossingham, Dave Osmand, Richard Goleszowski

"When I'm really scared of something, usually I will cry, that's first. Then I will feel like I need to pee a little bit, and oftentimes I do, just a little. And then I run. I cry, I pee and I run."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

COMMUNICATION / FEEDING TIME /
PARROT TONGUE TWISTER

Originally broadcast: 8 May 2008 (Animal Planet)
Directed by: Merlin Crossingham, Dave Osmand, Richard Goleszowski

"When you're eating food in New York, buyer beware, cos you never know what you're getting."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

WORKING / FOR THE BIRDS / LOVE, ANIMAL STYLE

Originally broadcast: 8 May 2008 (Animal Planet)
Directed by: Merlin Crossingham, Dave Osmand, Richard Goleszowski

"I value my nuts."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

GREAT OUTDOORS / PET PEEVES / TALENT SHOW

Originally broadcast: ?
Directed by: Merlin Crossingham, Dave Osmand, Richard Goleszowski

"Being in such a quiet place in the great outdoor, you can hear your ears just making sounds, and sometimes I tell my children, 'Quiet, quiet,' I wanna just listen to the quietness."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4