British Comedy: Goodness Gracious Me

Years: 1998-2015
Broadcaster: BBC
Genre: Sketch
Written by: Sanjeev Bhaskar, Meera Syal, Richard Pinto,
Sharat Sardana, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli, Nina Wadia,
Dave Cohen, Ravi Mangat, Sukbir Pannu, Scott Todd
Stars: Sanjeev Bhaskar, Meera Syal
Episodes: 22
Episode Average: 6.857*

BEST EPISODES:
Series 1, Episode 1 (1998), Reunion Special (2014)

*including the Christmas Special, Back Where They Came From Special,
and Reunion Special

SERIES ONE

(1998)
6 episodes
Series Score: 46
Episode Average: 7.67
Perfect 10's: 1

S1E1

EPISODE 1

Originally broadcast: 12 January 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood, Gareth Carrivick
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
Jonathan --- 'Check Please': Skip Dessert ---- Being a Sikh
The Calcutta Male Voice Choir --- Bhangramuffins: New Image
'Check Please': Doctor --- Being a Hindu
Smita Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Blockbuster
Going for an English --- 'Check Please': Model
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: The Demon and the Mongoose
Jodphur Station 1947 --- Being a Muslim
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Dinner Party --- 'Check Please': Seafood
Bhangramuffins: Kiss My Chuddies
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Have You Ever Thought of Becoming a Hindu?

"What's the blandest thing on the menu?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

EPISODE 2

Originally broadcast: 19 January 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood, Gareth Carrivick
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Meera Syal, Nina Wadia

SKETCHES:
Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': Italian Food
The Six Million Rupee Man --- Gay Son
Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': Cheese --- New Pet: Hello
Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': Operation --- Fixer Uncle: Holiday
I Know Him Too Well --- Fixer Uncle: Money --- Audition
New Pet: Goodbye --- Fixer Uncle: Kidney --- Bhangramuffins: Oprah
Fixer Uncle: Funeral --- Rough Guide to the United Kingdom
Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': MasterChef

"Oh, my God! My son is a lesbian!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

EPISODE 3

Originally broadcast: 26 January 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Meera Syal, Anil Gupta

SKETCHES:
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Tennis Club
Smita Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Cinema
Party Piece --- 'Check Please': Rose
East Meets Pest - The Buddhist Exterminator: Mice --- Revival Night
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Krishna? Karma? Shiva? --- The Accountant
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: The Conservative Party
MasterChef 1997 --- East Meets Pest - The Buddhist Exterminator: Cancer
When the Kids Are Away --- 'Check Please': Effort
Bhangramuffins: Eurostar --- British Asian Man's Quarterly
'Check Please': Oysters --- A Tourist From England
East Meets Pest - The Buddhist Exterminator: The Godfather

"No, but he makes them behave so badly that they come back in the next life as little stones, which are much easier to catch."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

EPISODE 4

Originally broadcast: 2 February 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Meera Syal, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
It's a Miracle --- Marriage Counselling
Hundred Thousand a Year: Mum --- The New Wife: Restaurant
Smita Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Toilets --- Late For Work
The Competitive Mothers: Success --- The New Wife: Bus Stop
Hundred Thousand a Year: Car --- The Asian Babe
The New Wife: Walking the Dog --- Family Disaster: Stranded!
The Competitive Mothers: Baby --- I Coulda Been a Contender
Smita Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Takeaway
Bhangramuffins: Academic Overachievers
The Competitive Mothers: Pimp --- Untouchable
The Competitive Mothers: Triple Jump

"No, my son is not a pimp. My son is the best pimp. Oh, yes, my son is the biggest pimp in all England."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

EPISODE 5

Originally broadcast: 9 February 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Meera Syal, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
Jewish Son --- Fat Kid: Birthday Cake
The Minx Twins: Club --- Fat Kid: Chicken --- The Marriage Emporium
Chatting Up Reeta --- Indian Wedding
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Veranda, Bungalow, Shampoo
The Minx Twins: Gentlemen --- Fat Kid: Drink --- LIC Positive
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Book Shop
The Minx Twins: Park --- Immigration --- Fat Kid: Trifle
Guilt Trip Parents --- The Minx Twins: Ball --- Advertising Feminum
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Garage

"See what you have done? Eh? A Muslim boy would never put his own mother in any kitchen appliance."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

EPISODE 6

Originally broadcast: 16 February 1998
Directed by: Nick Woos
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Sanjeev Bhaskar,
Meera Syal, Anil Gupta, Nina Wadia

SKETCHES:
Arranged Shag --- Making Bread
Mr. 'Have You Met My Daughter?': Tony Blair
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Cliff Richard & Clark Gable
Bharat Homes --- The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: BBQ
Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': New Polymer --- Fixer Uncle: Directions
Mr. 'Have You Met My Daughter?': I.K. Gujral & Nawaz Sharif
Skipinder - The Punjabi Kangaroo: The Drunken Koala
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': William Shakespeare
Bhangramuffins: Diwali --- Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': Love
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Supermarket
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Ganesh & Hanuman
Mr. 'Have You Met My Daughter?': Alien Leader
We Did It On Our Own --- Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Bollocks!

"Yes, we put an advert in the paper, 'Professional Hindu Punjabi boy seeks suitable girl for no strings attached bunk-up.'"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

SERIES TWO

(1998)
6 episodes
Series Score: 38
Episode Average: 6.33
Perfect 10's: 1

S2E1

EPISODE 1

Originally broadcast: 13 November 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Meera Syal, Anil Gupta

SKETCHES:
Bhangramuffins: Asian World --- Tandoori Red
Ancient Punjabi Dance: Party --- 'Check Please': Respect
Chunky Lafunga: On the Set of Pride & Prejudice
'Check Please': Holding Hands --- Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': Paris
Ancient Punjabi Dance: Period Drama
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Orgy --- Squabbling Couple: Hindu
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Get 'Em Off --- Chunky Lafunga: The Bill
Ancient Punjabi Dance: Lap Dance Bar
The Competitive Mothers: Grandchildren
'Check Please': Moustache --- Chunky Lafunga: Australian Soap
Smita Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Chunky Lafunga
'Check Please': Chivalrous --- Punjabi Girl
The Gurus: Presanthamantra

"You see, my son is so fertile that he doesn't have to be at home to impregnate his wife. No... He can do it from the office by email."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

EPISODE 2

Originally broadcast: 20 November 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Sanjeev Bhaskar,
Meera Syal, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
'Will I, Bollocks!': Birthday --- The Gurus: Football
Indian Broadcasting Corporation
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': The Royal Family
'Will I, Bollocks!': Wedding --- 'Check Please': Sense of Humour
Bhangramuffins: Football --- 'Will I, Bollocks!': Bus Stop
'Check Please': Underwear --- Squabbling Couple: Mother
The Competitive Mothers: Dependency --- Hindi People
'Will I, Bollocks!': Collapsed --- 'Check Please': Inhibitions
Play School --- Great Train Journeys of the World
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': The BBC

"Not rubbish, look at them. They all live in the same family house together... Indian! All work in the family business... Indian! All have arranged marriages... Indian! They all have sons, daughters no good... Indian! Children live with their parents until they are married... Indian! What more do you want? Do you want them to put on turbans and charm snakes out of baskets?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

EPISODE 3

Originally broadcast: 27 November 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Sanjeev Bhaskar,
Meera Syal, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
Indian Bridegroom Detective: Act I
The Minx Twins: : Beena's Date --- Indian Bridegroom Detective: Act II
The Wonderful Days of the British Empire: The Party
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Krishna --- The Reporter: Slave Daughter
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Superman
The Wonderful Days of the British Empire: The Train
Indian Bridegroom Detective: Act III
Smita Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Axed --- Bhangramuffins: Shoplifting
The Wonderful Days of the British Empire: The General
The Food Programme --- Goodnight John-Boy
The Wonderful Days of the British Empire: The Veranda
The Book Programme --- Indian Bridegroom Detective: Act IV
They Were the Blacked-Up Men --- Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Nirvana

"Ahhh, come on, you've seen the film. He runs faster than a speeding train. There's only one country where you can run faster than the train."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

EPISODE 4

Originally broadcast: 4 December 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Sanjeev Bhaskar,
Meera Syal, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
Mrs. 'Eat More': Dinner --- Fixer Uncle: Drugs
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Goalkeeper --- The Gourmet Maharaja: Tiger
The Sindi Dolls: New House --- Family Disaster: Spoons
Mrs. 'Eat More': Hospital --- School Report
Smita Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Mother's Kitchen
Fixer Uncle: Condom --- Sooty's Funeral
The Sindi Dolls: Prada Handbag --- The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Golf
The Gourmet Maharaja: Chimp --- The Sindi Dolls: Meena
Bhangramuffins: Prince Naseem Hamed
The Sindi Dolls: Last Year's Colour
The Gourmet Maharaja: Meerkat --- He Is Our Son
Mrs. 'Eat More': Reservoir Dogs
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Flight --- 50 Ways to Leave Your Mother
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Mastermind

"Stone the adulteress to death?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

EPISODE 5

Originally broadcast: 11 December 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Meera Syal, Anil Gupta

SKETCHES:
The Pensioners From Slough: Titanic --- Rav's Animal Hospital: Dog
Nehru & Jinnah - The Cambridge Years: Last Night's Meeting
The Minx Twins: Two Asian Men --- Mastermind: The Professor
Nehru & Jinnah - The Cambridge Years: Peacekeeping Proposal
High & Blighty --- Fixer Uncle: Watersports
The Pensioners From Slough: Only Fools and Horse
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Book Launch --- Rav's Animal Hospital: Cleaner
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Pulp Fiction
The Gurus: Twister --- Wifely Duties
Nehru & Jinnah - The Cambridge Years: The Maharaja
Old Friends --- Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Hamster
The Pensioners From Slough: King Lear --- Fixer Uncle: Zig-a-Zig-Ah
Skipinder - The Punjabi Kangaroo: Flying Arse Doctors
Nehru & Jinnah - The Cambridge Years: The Agreement

"You can tell by the way he use his walk, he's a Hindi man, no time to talk."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

EPISODE 6

Originally broadcast: 18 December 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Sanjeev Bhaskar,
Meera Syal, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
The British Kabaddi Squad --- Very Modern Aunt: Party
Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': College --- Fat Kid: Sports Day
The Sindi Dolls: Two Rice Cakes --- Asian Gladiators
Fat Kid: Ducks --- 'Oh, I Get It': Public Toilet
The Sindi Dolls: Club Class --- Very Modern Aunt: Doctors
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Stately Home --- The Gurus: Jenga
'Oh, I Get It': Girlfriend --- The Sindi Dolls: Passenger Announcements
Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': Blue Peter
Very Modern Aunt: Yoof Chat, Innit! --- Fat Kid: Baby Monitor
'Oh, I Get It': Police Brutality
Smita Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Bedroom
Fat Kid: Feathers --- Bhangramuffins: Getting Juggy With It
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Fox Hunting

"Notice the 16th century floorboards laid down in 1348 by Edward XXII."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

SPECIAL

(1998)

SPECIAL

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Originally broadcast: 23 December 1998
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Sanjeev Bhaskar,
Meera Syal, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
Bhangramuffins: Nativity Play --- The Hammer Boys: Garage
'Check Please': Telescope --- Pickles --- 'I Want to Be a Doctor'
The Minx Twins: Santa's Little Helpers
Rav's Animal Hospital: The Hammer Boys
Women's Drop-In Lounge: Help Me!
'Check Please': Beautiful Parents --- The Gourmet Maharaja: Monkey
Holiday: Camping in North Wales --- Let's All Do The Twist
The Competitive Mothers: Wives --- 'Oh, I Get It': Santa
Asian University --- The Gourmet Maharaja: Kittens
The Competitive Mothers: Santa's Danda
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Father Christmas
World in Focus: The Middle Class Struggle --- The Hammer Boys: Solar Panel
Alien Communication --- 'Check Please': Old
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Oh, Little Town of...
Women's Drop-In Lounge: Sister
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Good King...
Hare Christians --- 'Check Please': Dump
Smeeta Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Current Affairs
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Deck the Halls With...
'Will I, Bollocks': Will You Bring Me Lots of Things?
The Bhandari Bunch --- The Gurus: Cluedo --- Asian Home Front: Gardens
The World's Leading Ayurvedic Medic --- Christmas Carols
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': We Three Kings of...
'Check Please': Spicy Hot One
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Christmas Dinner
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Presents

"Oh, well, la-di-da-de! My son will, or course, not only marry an Indian girl of the same caste in India, but she will have to come from my grandmother's village, in the middle of nowhere, where there is no satellite television, no running water, and the only man in a 200-mile radius is a 95-year-old leper. And we will need to see signed photographs of her hymen."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SERIES THREE

(2000)
6 episodes
Series Score: 38
Episode Average: 6.33
Perfect 10's: 0

S3E1

EPISODE 1

Originally broadcast: 25 February 2000
Directed by: Nick Wood, Christine Gernon
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Meera Syal,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
New Delhi Police Department --- 'Check Please': Tipsy
The Competitive Mothers: Oedipal --- Documentary Couple: Racist Graffiti
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Church
'Check Please': Animal --- Unfashionable Girlfriend
Smeeta Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Consumer Test
The Delhi Tubbies --- The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Holy Communion
The Punjabi Adult Pleasure Line
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Collection --- 'Check Please': Sisters
The Great Escape --- 'Check Please': My Place
Bhangramuffins: Bollywood --- Khaki Bhangra

"For some reason, the English community have not trusted us since a uniformed officer invaded the home of one Mr. J... Jor... Johnson, and destroyed his mother in a controlled explosion."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E2

EPISODE 2

Originally broadcast: 3 March 2000
Directed by: Nick Wood, Christine Gernon
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Meera Syal,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli, Nina Wadia

SKETCHES:
'Check Please': Promiscuous --- Live & Cooking
The Reporter: Refugee Camp --- Mr. 'This Dal Is Fantastic': Film
Chunky Lafunga: Maid in Patiala
Mr. 'This Dal Is Fantastic': Nature Documentary
Smeeta Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Street Date
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Mona Lisa
Mr. 'This Dal Is Fantastic': Game Show --- Not Saving Private Narayan
Hey Big Spinster --- 'Check Please': Tactile
Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': Wedding --- Being Stared At
Asian Shopping Channel --- Mr. 'This Dal Is Fantastic': Scrabble
'Check Please': Crooked Tie --- The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Dog
Mr. 'This Dal Is Fantastic': Darling!

"And there's no need to hire a horse for the bridegroom to arrive on while our dog is still alive."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E3

EPISODE 3

Originally broadcast: 10 March 2000
Directed by: Nick Wood, Christine Gernon
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Meera Syal,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
Airport Check-In: Excess Baggage --- The Competitive Mothers: Studs
An Interview with Ratayjit Say: The Draughts Game
Airport Check-In: Hand Luggage --- 'Check Please': Family
An Interview with Ratayjit Say: The Game of Draughts
The Sindi Dolls: Serena --- The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Airport
'Oh, I Get It': Pharmacist --- Airport Check-In: Only One
Documentary Couple: Tradition
VSI: Health Care, Droughts, Cheap Labour & Wildlife
The Sindi Dolls: Danny --- An Interview with Ratayjit Say: Draughts!
VSI: Education, Child Labour --- 'Check Please': Foibles
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Christianity
The Gurus: Club Nirvana --- Milk Bottle

"Travellers and film stars meet,
At a highly overpriced retreat,
Trying to change their Western ways,
I cleanse their souls and make them hum,
I stick a hosepipe up their bum,
Make sure everybody pays."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E4

EPISODE 4

Originally broadcast: 17 March 2000
Directed by: Nick Wood, Christine Gernon
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Meera Syal,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
Bhangramuffins: Pub --- Touch the Feet of Nani
The Sindi Dolls: Engagement Rings
This Morning with Rajinder & Guddi--- Fixer Uncle: Armed Robbery
The Minx Twins: Workmen --- JK the Hamster
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Mercedes-Benz
Long Distance Birthday Greetings --- Bhangraman: The Girder
'Check Please': Cameron Diaz --- The Minx Twins: In Your Dreams
'Check Please': Not Like Other Men
Smeeta Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Children's Television
Britian's 100 Most Vulgar Asians: No.3
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: England Team --- 'Check Please': Confidence Issues

"You are not committed enough. Absenteeism! The Sikhs take days off for Guru Nanek's birthday, Guru Gobind Singh's birthday... fair enough. But Guru, Guru, Barney, McGuru, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb. They're going too far!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E5

EPISODE 5

Originally broadcast: 24 March 2000
Directed by: Nick Wood, Christine Gernon
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Meera Syal,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli

SKETCHES:
Shoe Auntie: Go To Bed --- The Reporter: The Halāl Meat Trade
Smeeta Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Docu-Drama
Bhangramuffins: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Shoe Auntie: Shoe Shop --- Channa's Angels --- Shoe Auntie: Kung Fu
The Pukka Wedding Company --- 'Check Please': Pre-Marital Sex
Bhangraman: The Sun --- Shoe Auntie: An American Werewolf in Ludhiana
'Check Please': Perfect Day
The High Street Boys: Let's Make Arrangements
The Minx Twins: Park Bench
Skipinder - The Punjabi Kangaroo: The Dancing Girl
Documentary Couple: Intimidation --- 'Check Please': Three Little Words
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: The Local --- The Adventures of Lassi

"Silly doggy!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E6

EPISODE 6

Originally broadcast: 31 March 2000
Directed by: Nick Wood, Christine Gernon
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto, Meera Syal,
Sanjeev Bhaskar, Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Kohli,
Ravi Mangat, Sukbir Pannu, Scott Todd

SKETCHES:
Bhangramuffins: Internet Cafe --- Brown Peter
'Check Please': Best Friends --- Asian Arts
The Competitive Mother: Breakdown --- Bhangraman: Morris Dancers
'Oh, I Get It': Fire Brigade
The Competitive Mothers: Letting You Die
'Check Please': Connection --- The Competitive Mothers: Sooo...
Why Think So Negatively? --- The Reporter: Speed Kills
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Commercial Pressures --- Poo
Asian Top Gear --- Battling Masis
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: We're British, Oh So British
'Check Please': I Know What You've Been Up To

"I can't see no one paying you no billion pounds for your lonely bedroom hobby."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

SPECIAL

(2001)

SPECIAL

BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM

Originally broadcast: 19 February 2001
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sharat Sardana, Richard Pinto,
Meera Syal, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Anil Gupta

SKETCHES:
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Ski Holiday
The Untouchable: Table --- East Eats West: Sea Bass with Almonds
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Taxi
The Reporter: Indian Beggars --- The Untouchable: Holiday
Converting to Christianity
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Taj Mahal
East Eats West: Traditional English Cream Tea
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Britishisher --- The Reporter: Television?
Guru Mahareshi Yogi: The Second Wealthiest Man In India
The Asbestos Sari --- The Untouchable: Satellite Tracking System
East Eats West: Wine Tasting
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Curry --- Blame It On The...
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Public Toilet
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Electrics
'It's a Joke': Three-Legged Chicken --- The Reporter: Red Fort
Smeeta Smitten, Showbiz Kitten: Neetu Nitty - Showbiz Kitty
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Taj Mahal
India's Craaaziest Drivers: Scooter
'It's a Joke': Flower Squirter --- Chunky Lafunga: Hero
India's Craaaziest Drivers: Tooter
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Beggars
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': The Street
India's Craaaziest Drivers: Sleeping Cows
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: The Real India
Fawlty Turrets --- The Reporter: The Local Well
'It's a Joke': Knock-Knock
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Stop It! --- Squeegee Merchants
The Bhangramuffins and The Minx Twins: Do I Fit In?
Mr.'Everything Comes From India': Oops!

"Sorry, this is Rajasthan. What were you expecting to see from a Rajasthan hotel window? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plain? Cows wandering aimlessly in and out of traffic? Actually, you might see that last one."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 6

SPECIAL

(2014)

SPECIAL

REUNION SPECIAL

Originally broadcast: 26 May 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Sanjeev Bhaskar, Kulvinder Ghir,
Anil Gupta, Meera Syal

SKETCHES:
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Sherlock
The Competitive Mothers: Visitors
'Cheque Please': Fine Wine --- Scary Poppat --- The British Sketch
Lawyer Injuries 4U --- Madrasablanca
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: East Chigwell Parliamentary Candidates
'Cheque Please': Change One Thing
Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': iPad --- Guru Mahareshi Yogi: Webcast
Delhi Mail --- 'Cheque Please': Exfoliation --- No Blurred Lines

"An aubergine is ridiculous?! But buying an apple for ten million pounds...?!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

SPECIAL

(2015)

SPECIAL

INDIA SPECIAL

Originally broadcast: 25 May 2015
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Anil Gupta, Sanjeev Bhaskar,
Meera Syal, Dave Cohen

SKETCHES:
Smeeta Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Art Malik
India Broadcasting Company: English Season --- Martin Scorsese's Gandhi
The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Maharajahs
Brownton Abbey: Granny --- The Competitive Goddesses
Woody Allen's Gandhi --- Brownton Abbey: Marriage
Brownadder Goes Forth --- Peter Jackson's Gandhi
Khan, Khan, Arif and Khan - Indian Builders
Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': Indian Space Exploration
Quentin Tarantino's Gandhi Unchained
Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Indian Words

APPEARED IN 22 EPISODES

A FEW OF HIS CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

01. Guru Mahareshi Yogi: The Demon and the Mongoose (S1E1 - 1998)
02. Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Veranda, Bungalow... (S1E5 - 1998)
03. 'Check Please': Respect (S2E1 - 1998)
04. Hindi People (S2E2 - 1998)
05. Bhangramuffins: Bollywood (S3E1 - 2000)
06. The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: We're British, Oh So British (S3E6 - 2000)
07. 'It's a Joke: Three-Legged Chicken (SPECIAL - 2001)
08. Madrasablanca (SPECIAL - 2014)

APPEARED IN 22 EPISODES

A FEW OF HER CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

01. The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Dinner Party (S1E1 - 1998)
02. The Competitive Mothers: Success (S1E4 - 1998)
03. The Minx Twins: : Beena's Date (S2E3 - 1998)
04. Very Modern Aunt: Yoof Chat, Innit! (S2E6 - 1998)
05. Hey Big Spinster (S3E2 - 2000)
06. Shoe Auntie: Shoe Shop (S3E5 - 2000)
07. The Asbestos Sari (SPECIAL - 2001)
08. Scary Poppat (SPECIAL - 2014)

APPEARED IN 22 EPISODES

A FEW OF HIS CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

01. Bhangramuffins: Eurostar (S1E3 - 1998)
02. The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: BBQ (S1E6 - 1998)
03. Chunky Lafunga: On the Set of Pride & Prejudice (S2E1 - 1998)
04. The Reporter: Slave Daughter (S2E3 - 1998)
05. Channa's Angels (S3E5 - 2000)
06. Bhangraman: Morris Dancers (S3E6 - 2000)
07. The Untouchable: Holiday (SPECIAL - 2001)
08. Mr. 'Everything Comes From India': Sherlock (SPECIAL - 2014)

APPEARED IN 22 EPISODES

A FEW OF HER CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

01. Mrs. 'I Can Make It At Home': Italian Food (S1E2 - 1998)
02. It's a Miracle (S1E4 - 1998)
03. The Competitive Mothers: Dependency (S2E2 - 1998)
04. The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Golf (S2E4 - 1998)
05. Unfashionable Girlfriend (S3E1 - 2000)
06. The Minx Twins: In Your Dreams (S3E4 - 2000)
07. Smeeta Smitten - Showbiz Kitten: Neetu Nitty - Showbiz Kitty (SPECIAL - 2001)
08. Delhi Mail (SPECIAL - 2014)

APPEARED IN 21 EPISODES

A FEW OF HIS CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

01. The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Tennis Club (S1E3 - 1998)
02. The Book Programme (S2E3 - 1998)
03. The Great Escape (S3E1 - 2000)
04. Bhangraman: Morris Dancers (S3E6 - 2000)
05. East Eats West: Traditional English Cream Tea (SPECIAL - 2001)
06. The British Sketch (SPECIAL - 2014)

APPEARED IN 12 EPISODES

A FEW OF HIS CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

01. The Calcutta Male Voice Choir (S1E1 - 1998)
02. Nehru & Jinnah - The Cambridge Years: Last Night's Meeting (S2E5 - 1998)
03. The High Street Boys: Let's Make Arrangements (S3E5 - 2000)
04. The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: Taxi (SPECIAL - 2001)

APPEARED IN 7 EPISODES

A COUPLE OF HER CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

01. The Food Programme (S2E3 - 1998)
02. Women's Drop-In Lounge: Sister (Special - 1998)

APPEARED IN 6 EPISODES

A COUPLE OF HIS CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

01. Hundred Thousand a Year: Mum (S1E4 - 1998)
02. The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: BBQ (S1E6 - 1998)

APPEARED IN 5 EPISODES

A COUPLE OF HER CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

01. Asian Shopping Channel (S3E2 - 2000)
02. The Kapoors and Rabindranaths: The Local (S3E5 - 2000)

APPEARED IN 5 EPISODES

A COUPLE OF HER CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

01. A Tourist From England (S1E3 - 1998)
02. Indian Wedding (S1E5 - 1998)

APPEARED IN 4 EPISODES

A COUPLE OF HIS CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

01. Going For an English (S1E1 - 1998)
02. Rough Guide to the United Kingdom (S1E2 - 1998)

APPEARED IN 2 EPISODES

A COUPLE OF HER CHARACTERS

01 - - 02

01. Hey Big Spinster (S2E2 - 2000)
02. Channa's Angels (S3E5 - 2000)