British Comedy: Dear John....

Years: 1986-1987
Broadcaster: BBC
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: John Sullivan
Stars: Ralph Bates, Peter Blake
Episodes: 14
Episode Average: 7.143*

BEST EPISODES:
Death (1986), Under Cover (1986)

*including special

SERIES ONE

(1986)
7 episodes
Series Score: 52
Episode Average: 7.43
Perfect 10's: 1

S1E1

A SINGULAR MAN

Originally broadcast: 17 February 1986
Directed by: Ray Butt
Written by: John Sullivan

John arrives home to find that his wife has left him and wants a divorce, being left out of social events sees him join a 1-2-1 encounter group, and the leader's shocked when a mix-up sees membership drop to just five.

"Hi, my name's John and I'm in the wrong room."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

IN THE CLUB

Originally broadcast: 24 February 1986
Directed by: Ray Butt
Written by: John Sullivan

John's left fuming when Wendy says she's asking for more maintenance, Ralph shares a childhood worry that plants might be talking about him, and Kirk explains how a woman he once loved left him to be with God.

"The Halloween fondue at Mrs. Haddock's isn't definite. She's on the verge again, so I should pencil that one in lightly. And it might be a good idea to have a rubber handy for the vicars and tarts party as well."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

DEATH

Originally broadcast: 3 March 1986
Directed by: Ray Butt
Written by: John Sullivan

John's forced to consider fondling after arriving at the 1-2-1 Club Disco,
Kate expresses her regret at sharing her frigidity with the group, and a suicidal Ralph blames the death of his closest friend on Tutankhamun.

"The whole of life flashed before me. Bloody depressing that was."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

THE PARTY

Originally broadcast: 10 March 1986
Directed by: Ray Butt
Written by: John Sullivan

John manages to get himself invited to a colleague's anniversary party, news that his former fiancée is back in town leads to disappointment, and Kirk and Kate continue to snipe at each other in the group sessions.

"Cool it? You're asking the ice maiden to cool it? She's been divorced three times on the grounds of frostbite."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

TOBY

Originally broadcast: 17 March 1986
Directed by: Ray Butt
Written by: John Sullivan

Louise asks the group not to embarrass a Wednesday night person at a party, John disappoints his son with yet another day out at the zoo, and having dinner with Wendy reopens the door to inappropriate feelings.

"Bing Dring isn't a boy's name, Ralph. It's a Chinese meal."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

THE FOURTEEN YEAR ITCH

Originally broadcast: 24 March 1986
Directed by: Ray Butt
Written by: John Sullivan

John gets a shock when Ken decides to sign up as a member of the 1-2-1 Club, Kate insists that she's big enough to make her own decisions, and Kirk help Ralph to find a name for his new mobile discotheque business.

"Boogaloo."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

UNDER COVER

Originally broadcast: 31 March 1986
Directed by: Ray Butt
Written by: John Sullivan

Louise tells the group that it is the final 1-2-1 Club meeting of the term, John agrees to have words with Kate about going out on a date with Kirk, and a little too much wine leads to the need for an explanation or two.

"A spy! Good God. I'd feel safer with Secret Squirrel."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

SERIES TWO

(1987)
6 episodes
Series Score: 40*
Episode Average: 6.67
Perfect 10's: 0
*not including special

S2E1

A NEW MEMBER

Originally broadcast: 7 September 1987
Directed by: Ray Butt
Written by: John Sullivan

John refuses to tell lie to get Toby transferred to a better Catholic school, Sylvia moves from Wednesday to Friday after an incident in the car park, and the singer of a 1969 hit record finds that nobody remembers him.

"All I've learn is that Ralph has been playing around with his inner self. And he's old enough to know better."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

CONFIDENCE

Originally broadcast: 14 September 1987
Directed by: Ray Butt
Written by: John Sullivan

Mrs. Arnott announces that she's going to Sheffield to help her daughter, Ricky gets emotional as he talks about the loss of his Sioux princess, and a reluctant star turn threatens to silence a swinging '60s charity night.

"There's even been a book and a TV series about Kirk's exploits behind the Iron Curtain. You may have seen it -Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Dickhead."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

PROBLEMS WITH TOBY

Originally broadcast: 21 September 1987
Directed by: Sue Bysh
Written by: John Sullivan

John protests when his Sundays with Toby are threatened by depression, Kirk entertains the group with stories about the Vietnam War, and Sylvia talks about the day she found her husband sitting at the dressing table.

"You crazy man. You spray water over your willy."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

SANCTUARY

Originally broadcast: 28 September 1987
Directed by: Sue Bysh
Written by: John Sullivan

John finds himself caught in the crossfire of Ken's troubled marriage, Kate decides to give up her job so she can go travelling around Europe, and Kirk wastes no time in answering the call from a desperate woman.

"Laugh? I tried a 'knock-knock' joke and no-one was in."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

TORQUAY

Originally broadcast: 5 October 1987
Directed by: Sue Bysh
Written by: John Sullivan

John waits to hear from Liz after she ditches him for another man, Ken announces that he's got to go into hospital for an operation, and Kirk's left devastated when he's the only one who doesn't get a call from Kate.

"Well, at first glance I may appear to be the archetypal playboy. Disc jockey, flat in town. Motorcycle combination. But if the truth were known, the last time I dated a woman was June 6th. 1982."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

ONCE BITTEN

Originally broadcast: 12 October 1987
Directed by: Sue Bysh
Written by: John Sullivan

Ralph takes offence after showing a photo of his Polish wife to the group, Sylvia's husband upsets Louise when he visits the community centre, and John's hopes of promotion are dealt a severe blow by his latest girlfriend.

"Well, I suppose that's better than someone writing 'blackboard' across my bum."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

SPECIAL

(1987)

SPECIAL

KATE RETURNS

Originally broadcast: 21 December 1987
Directed by: Sue Bysh
Written by: John Sullivan

John searches for a way to avoid spending Christmas on his own again, Kirk reveals that he's changing his ways to avoid being such a failure, and the group get together to welcome Kate back from her travels in Greece.

"It's Kirk. Kirk, Kirk, look at me, Kirk. I'm hanging on a coat hook, Kirk."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

JOHN LACEY

Played by Ralph Bates
14 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... Under Cover (S1E7)

KIRK ST. MORITZ

Played by Peter Blake
14 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... The Party (S1E4)

RALPH DRING

Played by Peter Denyer
14 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... A New Member (S2E1)

LOUISE

Played by Rachel Bell
14 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... Problems with Toby (S2E3)

KATE

Played by Belinda Lang
12 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... Death (S1E3)

SYLVIA WATKINS

Played by Lucinda Curtis
9 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... A New Member (S2E1)

MRS. ARNOTT

Played by Jean Challis
9 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... Confidence (S2E2)

MRS. LEMENSKI

Played by Irene Prador
7 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... Kate Returns (Special)

KEN

Played by Terence Edmond
5 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... The Fourteen Year Itch (S1E6)

WENDY FITCH

Played by Wendy Allnutt
4 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... A New Member (S2E1)

TOBY

Played by Will Bates
3 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... Problems with Toby (S2E3)

MAGGIE

Played by Sue Holderness
3 episodes
(1986-1987)
in... Torquay (S2E5)

RICKY FORTUNE

Played by Kevin Lloyd
2 episodes
(1987)
in... Confidence (S2E2)