British Comedy: Doctor in the House

Years: 1954-1970
Genre: Comedy
Written by: Richard Gordon, Nicholas Phipps,
Jack Davies, Ronald Scott Thorn
Stars: James Robertson Justice, Dirk Bogarde
Films: 7
Film Average: 5.429

BEST FILMS:
Doctor at Large (1957), Doctor in the House (1954)

FILM

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

Released: 23 March 1954
Directed by: Ralph Thomas
Written by: Richard Gordon, Nicholas Phipps

A student arrives at St. Swithin's to start five years of medical training,
advances from a landlady's daughter force him into shared lodgings, and his laddish flatmates decide that the newcomer needs a lady in his life.

"Blood, you numbskull! You cut a patient, he bleeds, until the processes of nature form a clot to stop it. This interval is known scientifically as the bleeding time. You, what's the bleeding time?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

FILM

DOCTOR AT SEA

Released: 12 July 1955
Directed by: Ralph Thomas
Written by: Richard Gordon, Nicholas Phipps,
Jack Davies

Dr. Sparrow takes a job on a cargo ship to escape boredom and women, seasickness makes life on the ocean waves more difficult than expected, and the Captain reluctantly picks up two passengers during a stop-off.

"Oh, your rub it on thrice daily after meals."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

FILM

DOCTOR AT LARGE

Released: 5 April 1957
Directed by: Ralph Thomas
Written by: Richard Gordon, Nicholas Phipps

Joy struggles with her nerves as she works towards becoming a doctor, Sparrow tries a series of jobs after missing out on a post at St. Swithin's, and Benskin has to find work when his father stops funding his studies.

"Yeth and I'm only thixteen."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

FILM

DOCTOR IN LOVE

Released: 12 July 1960
Directed by: Ralph Thomas
Written by: Richard Gordon, Nicholas Phipps

Sir Lancelot announces his retirement from St. Swithin's Hospital, Dr. Burke suggests a way to get away from relationship problems, and an absent senior partner means Dr. Hare needs help with running a practice

"Oh, to hell with the ethics. Think of the fun! 'Madam, if your appendix isn't doing anything on Saturday evening, I'd love to take it out'."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

FILM

DOCTOR IN DISTRESS

Released: 2 August 1963
Directed by: Ralph Thomas
Written by: Richard Gordon, Nicholas Phipps,
Ronald Scott Thorn

Simon falls for a patient while working at Hampden Cross Hospital, Sir Lancelot loses his heart to physiotherapy after hurting his back, and an effort to lose weight at a nature clinic proves tougher than expected.

"Not on your nelly and not on mine either!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

FILM

DOCTOR IN CLOVER

Released: 4 March 1966
Directed by: Ralph Thomas
Written by: Richard Gordon, Jack Davies

Dr. Miles Grimsdyke learns that his cousin is trying to muscle in on a job, the troublesome doctor also sets his sights on a much younger woman, and Sir Lancelot insists that a man be found to defrost the new matron.

"That woman's quite impossible. She's a gorgon. She should be in a home for stray dragons, not matron of a busy hospital."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

FILM

DOCTOR IN TROUBLE

Released: 16 June 1970
Directed by: Ralph Thomas
Written by: Richard Gordon, Jack Davies

Sir Lancelot prescribes a Mediterranean cruise for an exhausted actor, Dr. Burke accidentally stows away while trying to propose to a model, and a pools winner makes a nuisance of himself at the Captain's table.

"You gave him one of your looks, dear. You know what sailors are. A few more of them, you'll have to lock your porthole. Don't sulk."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

SIR LANCELOT SPRATT

Played by James Robertson Justice
6 films

DOCTOR IN
THE HOUSE

(1954)

DOCTOR AT
LARGE

(1957)

DOCTOR IN
LOVE

(1960)

DOCTOR IN
DISTRESS

(1963)

DOCTOR IN
CLOVER

(1966)

DOCTOR IN
TROUBLE

(1970)

DR. SIMON SPARROW

Played by Dirk Bogarde
4 films

DOCTOR IN
THE HOUSE

(1954)

DOCTOR
AT SEA

(1955)

DOCTOR AT
LARGE

(1957)

DOCTOR IN
DISTRESS

(1963)

JOY GIBSON

Played by Muriel Pavlow
2 films

DOCTOR IN
THE HOUSE

(1954)

DOCTOR AT
LARGE

(1957)

DR. TONY BENSKIN

Played by Donald Sinden
2 films

DOCTOR IN
THE HOUSE

(1954)

DOCTOR AT
LARGE

(1957)

DR. TONY BURKE

Played by Leslie Phillips
2 films

DOCTOR IN
LOVE

(1960)

DOCTOR IN
TROUBLE

(1970)

Years: 1969-1991
Broadcaster: ITV (LWT), BBC
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Bill Oddie, Bernard McKenna,
Graeme Garden, George Layton, Graham Chapman,
Jonathan Lynn, Richard Laing, John Cleese,
Gail Renard, Phil Redmond, Steve Thorn,
Paul Wolfson, Barry Cryer, Andy Baker,
Chris Beetles, Rob Buckman, Geoff Rowley,
David Sherlock, David Yallop, Douglas Adams,
David Askey, Selwyn Roberts
Stars: Geoffrey Davies, Robin Nedwell
Episodes: 157
Episode Average: ...

BEST EPISODES:
The Big Match (1972), It's All in the Little Blue Book (1970)

Years: 1969-1970
Broadcaster: ITV (LWT)
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie,
Graham Chapman, Barry Cryer, John Cleese,
Bernard McKenna, David Sherlock
Stars: Barry Evans, Robin Nedwell
Episodes: 26
Episode Average: 6.654

BEST EPISODES:
It's All in the Little Blue Book (1970), Put Your Hand on That (1970)

SERIES ONE

(1969)
13 episodes
Series Score: 75
Episode Average: 5.77
Perfect 10's: 1

S1E1

WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A DOCTOR?

Originally broadcast: 12 July 1969
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: John Cleese, Graham Chapman

Medical hopeful Michael Upton prepares for an interview at St. Swithin's, a student returning for the first year shares his knowledge of the place, and Prof. Loftus sends a couple of newcomers to the preparation room.

"This is an anatomy school, not a supermarket."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

SETTLING IN

Originally broadcast: 19 July 1969
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Duncan pockets a collection of saucy snaps left behind the previous year, Dick tries to make a bit of money by selling study aids, and Michael gets pranked after saving a pretty student nurse from his rowdy friends.

"That's Adam. Shake hands. Genuine natural plastic."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

IT'S ALL GO...

Originally broadcast: 26 July 1969
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Professor Loftus asks challenging questions during a dissection, Michael decides that he'd rather go to the pub than eat in the canteen, and too much Appleyard cider cause problems in a physiology demonstration.

"That's just to make 'em show up on the diagram, you fool. Oh, and by the way, veins don't really have their names printed along the sides either."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

PEACE AND QUIET

Originally broadcast: 26 July 1969
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Michael decides to find somewhere else to live to escape from the noise, moving into new lodgings brings a totally different kind of distraction, and a seemingly perfect room turns out to be overloaded with problems.

"Think about it, Mike. You can't pack it all in now. You've stuck it for three weeks, there's only another five years to go."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

THE STUDENTS ARE REVOLTING!

Originally broadcast: 9 August 1969
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Duncan can't help but take an interest in Dick's saucy new calendar, the Dean's furious when he sees a picture of Michael in the newspaper, and student activists campaign against the burden of an outdated syllabus.

"Well, of course I do. If these kids had to go into the army, it'd soon put a stop to their fighting and marching."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

RALLYING ROUND...

Originally broadcast: 16 August 1969
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

A reluctant Michael is persuaded to make up the numbers for a motor rally, his partner pretends to be in labour when the police stop them, and a change in the weather leads to a very real pregnancy problem.

"And as you know, the first event of the term is the grand mystery field meeting. And as usual, the mystery field meeting is a car rally."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

IF IN DOUBT - CUT IT OUT!

Originally broadcast: 23 August 1969
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

A boring appendix lecture ends early when the lads adjust the clock, Michael worries that he's developing all the symptoms of appendicitis, and meeting the surgeon at the hospital offers very little comfort.

"Occupational disease of medical students. They suffer the symptoms are whatever they're reading about. I thought I'd lost a leg last year."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E8

THE WAR OF THE MASCOTS

Originally broadcast: 30 August 1969
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: Graham Chapman, Barry Cryer

A rival medical school steal the St. Swithin's rugby team mascot, the Dean's furious when he receives complaints about a revenge mission, and Michael and Duncan worry that they're about to be thrown out.

"I should keep well out of it, it's not worth the trouble. Well, that baboon never brought us much luck anyway. The only time we got anywhere in the cup, Muriel wasn't even there... she'd been detained for questioning by the police."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E9

GETTING THE BIRD

Originally broadcast: 6 September 1969
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: Graham Chapman, Barry Cryer

Michael shares his frustration about not having a special lady in his life, Huw suggests setting him up with a nurse known as 'Rigor Mortis', and Duncan admits to having a tricky little relationship problem of his own.

"That's nice, isn't it? It's not mine, it belongs to somebody else. It's Dick's."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E10

THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SPOTTED FEVER CASINO

Originally broadcast: 13 September 1969
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Dave leaves his friends totally penniless when he beats them at poker, a local gangster isn't impressed about leaflets promoting a new casino, and Michael and Duncan apply for jobs that nobody else seems to want.

"Well, come on, let's see the colour of your books."

HOLY GODIVA2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E11

KEEP IT CLEAN!

Originally broadcast: 19 September 1969
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

The lads prepare for the Annual Summer Concert for the Patients, the Dean's demand that it be kept clean sees the lads quickly lose interest, and Michael's brother tries to create something from virtually nothing.

"Oh, no, it's not the same audience. We killed 'em all off last year."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E12

ALL FOR LOVE...

Originally broadcast: 26 September 1969
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

A distracted Michael tries to wing it when he fails to get an essay in on time, meeting his girlfriend's parents brings a shock of the worst kind, and comments about his chosen career make him consider his future.

"Oh, well, I'll get better, I've got books."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E13

PASS OR FAIL?

Originally broadcast: 3 October 1969
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Graham Chapman, Barry Cryer

The lads panic when they realise that the exams are two weeks away, Duncan 's attempt to bluff his way through physiology gets messy, and Michael manages to kill a patient when put under pressure by Loftus.

"Do you know what I need to make this a perfect day? Piles."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES TWO

(1970)
13 episodes
Series Score: 98
Episode Average: 7.54
Perfect 10's: 3

S2E1

IT'S ALL IN THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK

Originally broadcast: 10 April 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

The porter tries to sell all manner of things to the returning students, Michael demands to know who's stolen his little book of student notes, and Loftus insists that questions be asked before a breast examination.

"My God! This is the first case I've had of a coat with rigor mortis."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE TROUBLE?

Originally broadcast: 17 April 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

The students are asked to provide a diagnosis for patients on the ward, Duncan gets attacked by a man who's convinced he's stolen his hat, and Michael waits all morning to find himself faced with a language barrier.

"I'm worried about my sex life, doctor. It's dropping off."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES... AND HIDE

Originally broadcast: 24 April 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

The lads try to cheer themselves up by paying a visit to a strip club, there's no shortage of medical expertise when one of the girls collapses on stage, and Michael tries to talk her into trying a different profession.

"He's trying to talk me out of my living. He reckons you and me should change jobs."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

NICE BODYWORK - LOVELY FINISH

Originally broadcast: 1 May 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Paul suggests clubbing together to buy a car for a trip to Cambridge, finding an extra passenger in the back leads to accusations of a prank, and Michael and Duncan get stranded when the driver goes missing.

"It's only a ruddy poacher. It serves him right for looking in other people's coffins."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

LOOK INTO MY EYES

Originally broadcast: 8 May 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

A doctor's made to look like a fool during a lecture on hypnosis, Michael orders Duncan to bark on command after learning from a book, and a desperate search begins when the subject decides to go for a walkabout.

"Oh, sure, that's a pity. I'd like to see Duncan lay an egg."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

PUT YOUR HAND ON THAT

Originally broadcast: 15 May 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Michael throws up during a nightmare first day in the operating theatre, sleep haunted by visions of flying gloves makes the situation worse, and an emergency call leaves him with no choice but to face up to his fears.

"Excellent. I usually like to start my operations with an incision, easier than punching my way in."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E7

THE ROYAL VISIT

Originally broadcast: 22 May 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Royal visitors are due at St Swithin's to open a new research wing, the Dean demands that something be done about a non-existent mistake, and Michael has to slow things down when the plaque goes missing.

"Oh, where they? Well, never mind, you can tell us, Upton... Matron's a man of the world."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E8

IF YOU CAN HELP SOMEBODY.... DON'T!

Originally broadcast: 29 May 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Loftus demands that a malingering patient be discharged from hospital, Michael's pity sees him lumbered with housework and a shopping list, and an attempt to advise her daughter brings the problem to his door.

"With a temperature like that, she should be in flames."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E9

HOT OFF THE PRESSES

Originally broadcast: 5 June 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Michael's name's put forward when the hospital magazine needs a new editor, Loftus puts an end to ideas of a revamp by making clear what the job entails, and the other lads try to cash in by sexing the whole thing up.

"Listen to this... 'Dear Auntie Dick. Every night when I go to sleep, I have a recurring dream. I dream I am being chased by sixteen naked girls. It goes on all night, but they never catch me. What should I do? Yours, Exhausted'."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E10

A STITCH IN TIME

Originally broadcast: 12 June 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Professor Loftus teaches the students how to properly dress injuries, Michael and Duncan are sent to the casualty department for a fortnight, and suspicions grow about the identity of an extremely twitchy patient.

"You could inflict more pain simply by driving a pair of scissors into my solar plexus."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E11

MAY THE BEST MAN...

Originally broadcast: 19 June 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Hooley punches Michael for getting friendly with his unofficial fiancée, tensions grow when the three of them have to work together in the lab, and a three-way dinner date turns into nothing more than an auction.

"Say that again. Say that again and by God you'll wish you never said that again."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E12

DOCTOR ON THE BOX

Originally broadcast: 26 June 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Dick and Michael wonder why they've been summoned to see Loftus, a television crew visits to do a piece on the lives of medical students, and Hooley gets himself into trouble after forcing his way onto camera.

"Sorry, Mike. It's the Dirk Bogarde touch they want."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E13

FINALS

Originally broadcast: 3 July 1970
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Dave takes bets on who will make it through their final exams, Michael struggles to stay awake after doing an all-night study session, and Loftus is left fuming when one of the students fails to turn up for an exam.

"And remember, Michael, when they ask you a question... don't snore."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

Years: 1971
Broadcaster: ITV (LWT)
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Graham Chapman,
Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie, John Cleese,
Andy Baker, George Layton, Geoff Rowley,
Jonathan Lynn, David Yallop
Stars: Barry Evans, George Layton
Episodes: 29
Episode Average: 6.759

BEST EPISODES:
Mother and Father Doing Well (1971), Congratulations - It's a Toad! (1971)

INDUSTRIAL ACTION MEANT THAT THE FIRST SIX EPISODES
HAD TO BE MADE IN BLACK & WHITE

SERIES ONE

(1971)
29 episodes
Series Score: 196
Episode Average: 6.76
Perfect 10's: 1

S1E1

NOW DR. UPTON...

Originally broadcast: 28 February 1971
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Michael discovers that he has a rival for a position on the Dean's firm, Dick lands a plum job working for a dermatologist on Harley Street, and working in the Ear Nose and Throat department proves to be exhausting.

"List back a bit, Jenny. Most noses bleeds come from the same tiny area, in the nose."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

YOU'VE REALLY LANDED ME IN IT THIS TIME

Originally broadcast: 7 March 1971
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Paul persuades Michael to cover his night surgery so he can go on a date, the police call for a doctor to take a sample from a drunk driver, and the nymphomaniac receptionist simply refuses to take no for an answer.

"Well, it always sounds odd in the dark."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO YOUNG

Originally broadcast: 14 March 1971
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Michael and Paul consider joining a practice at the rougher end of town, a vandalised car cuts short plans for thinking the situation over, and the patients demand to see somebody who looks old enough to be qualified.

"I've been carrying it on on my own ever since the senior partner died. Fascinating case, that. Died of liver failure. Quite suddenly. A great shock to me. I'd been treating him for his kidneys."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

DOCTOR DISH

Originally broadcast: 21 March 1971
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Sue isn't happy about Michael giving a sex education talk at an all-girls school, the schoolgirls soon develop crushes on the baby-faced doctor, and Paul adds fuel to the already rampant fire by replying to love letters.

"Yeah? Really? Well, you can't really tell these days, can you? You know. I mean, I'm an old man. I thought I was past that sort of thing. I wasn't."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

MODERNISING MAJOR

Originally broadcast: 28 March 1971
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

An out-of-work Dick picks up an ECG machine to help modernise the surgery, Michael attempts to sort out the jumbled filing system, and the Major regrets agreeing to changes while under the influence of whisky.

"Him!? A Doctor!? He looks more like Danny La Rue!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

CONGRATULATIONS - IT'S A TOAD!

Originally broadcast: 4 April 1971
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Paul starts collecting toads as part of a plan to open a pregnancy centre, a concerned mother visits the surgery after receiving a test result, and an advert in the newspaper attracts the attention of a local busybody.

"As a matter of fact, in Africa, I kept a toad as a pet. Oh, yes, I spent many a long evening reading by the light of a storm lantern with a toad curled up at my feet."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

CHANGE YOUR PARTNERS

Originally broadcast: 11 April 1971
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Dick asks Michael to take his girlfriend to the ballet when duty calls, the Major walks in on a situation that could considered infamous conduct, and Sue decides to find another man when jealousy get the better of her.

"Sometimes they grow up more quickly than we realise. I mean, yesterday they were tousle-haired little rascals, and today they're... they're... they're... well they grow up. And... there comes a time, you know, when little girls... and boys... become women."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E8

TRAINS & NOTES & VEINS

Originally broadcast: 18 April 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Bernard McKenna

Paul joins Michael when he travels to visit his parent for a few days, a train passenger is advised about how best to deal with varicose veins, and Dr. Upton Sr. objects to other doctors interfering with his patient.

"After all, your legs have been in my hands now for many years."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E9

LOCK, STOCK & BERYL

Originally broadcast: 25 April 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

The end of the partnership mean taking unwanted jobs at St. Swithin's, Paul needs someone to replace him so he can apply for a better position, and Michael finds himself cornered in his room by a drunken admirer.

"Coffee? You may not like me but you don't need to try and poison me. What did you make it with? Iodine? Give us another will ya."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E10

UPTON SELLS OUT?

Originally broadcast: 2 May 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Michael leaves himself without a suit for an interview on Harley Street, Dick takes action to prevent a disaster in denim seeing his snooty boss, and Paul tries to deal with concerns about ripping off daft old women.

"Well, apart from taking Dick's clothes for a walk, what are you doing here?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E11

SATURDAY MATINEE

Originally broadcast: 9 May 1971
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: John Cleese

Michael faces a boring day alone when he's left on call at the surgery, a cabinet minister turns up for his appointment a week early, and Dick's suicidal other woman arrives on the doorstep demanding to see him.

"Yes, sure... Hello, Maxine. Look, Dick said he's terribly sorry but he's met this girl with bigger boobs than yours. He's whipped her off to the Old Vic for a couple of hours of mortal sin but he'll call you next Friday if he's feeling randy and he's got two tickets for Hedda Gabler."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E12

WHERE THERE'S A WILL...

Originally broadcast: 16 May 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Michael misses lunch when a hypochondriac patient calls for a doctor, news that the man has died raises doubts about the medical advice, and his grasping family are shocked when the details of his will are revealed.

"Oh, don't apologise, sir, I find it highly droll. I'm sorry I haven't got my big curly pipe and my funny deerstalker hat. Alas, I have forgotten them."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E13

STUDENTS AT HEART

Originally broadcast: 23 May 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Michael faces the usual competition for a surgery job at St. Swithin's, the doctors show the students how to celebrate winning the cup, and things get out of hand following a confession about captaining the enemy.

"Oh, Lawrence. There's no flies on him."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E14

NO ILL FEELING!

Originally broadcast: 30 May 1971
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: John Cleese

Michael has to settle for a job in general practice after failing an exam, an obnoxious manager welcomes him to a hotel he's been booked into, and Dick and Paul devise a plan to put a cocky comedian in his place.

"What's the matter? Wasn't this kipper quick enough for you? Look, are you trying to tell me I didn't cook this kicker quip enough? No, I'm sorry, I don't think anyone could quip a cooker kicker than this."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E15

LET'S START AT THE BEGINNING

Originally broadcast: 6 June 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Michael insists on sending a man with athlete's foot to see a psychiatrist, a patient goes into an unexpected frenzy on hearing a trigger word, and the head of department refuses to accept that's he's talking to a doctor.

"And... Well, your wife? Your lady wife. Do you get on well with her? I mean... erm... well... erm... Do you still... erm... You do still... erm... Do you... erm... eat together?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E16

IT'S ALL IN THE MIND

Originally broadcast: 13 June 1971
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: John Cleese

The doctor's learn that a local witch is curing people of their ailments, Paul fears that he's been cursed after walking into her laboratory, and Michael's given a warning after threatening to inform the authorities.

"Yes, weeks, and it was still there. She rubs it with a snail and it's gone in three days."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E17

CYNTHIA DARLING

Originally broadcast: 20 June 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: John Cleese

Paul's called in to help when the surgery struggles with a flu epidemic, Michael frustration grows at being called out by a domineering mother, and a suggestion about finding a boyfriend is taken the wrong way.

"A bit? She's two Panzer divisions in an Easter bonnet"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E18

A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

Originally broadcast: 27 June 1971
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Geoff Rowley, Andy Baker

The surgery workload increases when Dr. Griffin has to go into hospital, Dick and Paul try to find ways of attracting a better class of patient, and Michael's forced to bring in a locum to do some of the real work.

"Well, erm, do you thik you'll be happy working under me?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E19

DEVON IS LOVELY AT THIS TIME OF YEAR

Originally broadcast: 4 July 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Geoff Rowley, Andy Baker

Michael can't help dreaming about going on holiday with the new locum, Paul's shocked at the lack of enthusiasm when Bingham gets sacked, and Nicky drops a bombshell by announcing that she's applied for his job.

"Oh, very professional! You know, he never used to kiss me like that when I was his partner."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E20

OPERATION LOFTUS

Originally broadcast: 11 July 1971
Directed by: Allan Wallis
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Michael starts his first day at St. Swithin's as assistant house surgeon, Dick has to act when he learns of Loftus joining the board of governors, and the Dean's deemed too drunk to carry out an emergency operation.

"It's the England France rugger match this afternoon. The last time the Dean went to an international, he got so piddled he went to the wrong hospital for his ward rounds."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E21

MOTHER AND FATHER DOING WELL

Originally broadcast: 18 July 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: John Cleese

Michael's shocked to learn that Huw Evans is about to become a father, Loftus works with an inexperienced nurse in the operating theatre, and a patient complains about coughing up parts from a surgical retractor.

"Clark, if I wanted someone to make inane comments during my operation, I should hire Kenneth Wolstenholme."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E22

A JOKE'S A JOKE

Originally broadcast: 25 July 1971
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Paul suggests becoming anatomy demonstrators to help with fellowship exams, Bingham pays the price for trying to conceal the list of interested parties, and Dick plots with the enemy when his name gets crossed off.

"Now, I've done a diagram here which I'd like you all to copy down. Thank you very much. Now, I've take a great deal of trouble and effort with the details."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E23

PULL THE OTHER ONE!

Originally broadcast: 1 August 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

A patient nearly wakes up on the operating table when Dick falls asleep, Michael's accused of having a Victoria attitude towards grimsies, and Paul has a change of heart when his sister arrives as a trainee nurse.

"But a dodo's an extinct bird! Yes, I see what you mean."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E24

IT'S THE RICH WOT GETS THE PLEASURE

Originally broadcast: 8 August 1971
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Dick learns of a huge windfall while on the train back from a conference, wild celebrations result in the arrest of three doctors at King's Cross, and Loftus is horrified when the St. Swithin's board decides to dismiss them.

"You're an electrician as well, I suppose. Three bright sparks."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E25

THINGS THAT GO MUMP IN THE NIGHT

Originally broadcast: 15 August 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Michael's certain that he's got mumps after collapsing while on duty, things go from bad to worse when he's been put on Bingham's ward, and a friendship with a pretty nurse brings out the green-eyed monster.

"Nurse, I'm Dr. Collier. I'm a close associate of Dr. Upton's and I thought I'd better let you know that before he goes to sleep at night, he likes a kiss and a cuddle."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E26

MR. MOON

Originally broadcast: 22 August 1971
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: John Cleese

Michael heads to a health farm for some peace and quiet so he can study, an argument about a grapefruit leads to a bet about self-control, and an actress trying to lose weight for a role struggles with the regime.

"How dare you! How dare you lick my grapefruit!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E27

THE VIVA

Originally broadcast: 29 August 1971
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Those taking the Primary Fellowship exam prepare for the anatomy viva, Paul unwittingly has a falling out with an examiner from Highcross, and Michael tries to get back in time from a fishing trip after a breakdown.

"When the Dean said to me, 'How did you find America?', I replied, 'Well, sir, I just stepped off the plane, and there it was'."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E28

BEWIGGED, BOTHERED, & BEWILDERED

Originally broadcast: 5 September 1971
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: David Yallop

Paul persuades Michael to help him out during a busy night in casualty, a patient makes a claim of gross negligence after an allergic reaction, and Loftus looks into the details of an overheard telephone conversation.

"Upton, do you have to repeat everything I say? It's like carrying on a conversation in the Grand Canyon."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E29

A SITUATION FULL OF PROMISE

Originally broadcast: 12 September 1971
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: George Layton

The Dean puts Michael in charge of an interview board for senior house surgeon, Dick's told that the job is his and it's all just a mere formality, and the arrival of Dr. Nicky Barrington throws a spanner in the works.

"Sure thing, baby. Rick and Dick will heal the sick. Ha."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

Years: 1971
Broadcaster: ITV (LWT)
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Graham Chapman,
George Layton, Jonathan Lynn, Graeme Garden,
Bill Oddie, Phil Redmond, David Sherlock,
David Askey, Gail Renard
Stars: Robin Nedwell, George Layton
Episodes: 43
Episode Average: 7.302

BEST EPISODES:
The Big Match (1972), Which Doctor? (1972)

SERIES ONE

(1972)
27 episodes
Series Score: 205
Episode Average: 7.59
Perfect 10's: 5

S1E1

THE DEVIL YOU KNOW

Originally broadcast: 9 April 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Michael's joined the Merchant Navy to get out of a drunken proposal, Loftus tries to put a face to the name of one of his former students, and Duncan's horrified that everybody seems to have forgotten who he is.

"And while you waited, you thought Stuart-Clark would entertain you with a few songs."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

THE RESEARCH UNIT

Originally broadcast: 16 April 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

The Chairman of the Board informs Loftus about knighthood rumours, Bingham's furious when Duncan's asked to head a research project, and Paul tries to protect the truth about the wine that he sells to Dick.

"Oh, look, I'll make you some more coffee and an omelette. You'll feel much better when you've got something inside you. I always do."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

THE MINISTER'S HEALTH

Originally broadcast: 23 April 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Graham Chapman

Loftus instructs the staff about the needs of a very important patient, the arrival of a vicar leads to the wrong man receiving star treatment, and Bingham grabs a chance to demonstrate his vision for the NHS.

"Right, let's get into bed shall we?"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

THE BLACK AND WHITE MEDICAL SHOW

Originally broadcast: 30 April 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

An Indian doctor from University College Hospital joins the research project, a doctor manages to turn racist abuse back on a bigoted patient, and Loftus comes to realise why language barriers can be problematic.

"Come on! Open up in there! If you don't open there in five seconds, I shall... have to use my key."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

HONEY LAMB

Originally broadcast: 7 May 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Duncan learns that a girl he met in America is about to fly over to see him, Paul delivers an overdue telegram from another of his conquests, and an offer of guaranteed action means Sandra has to be gotten rid of.

"Hey, Duncan, how come you never told me your old man was a pig? Groovy little hats they wear over here."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

DOCTORS' LIB

Originally broadcast: 14 May 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Paul does a time and motion study to prove that doctors are underpaid, Dick warns against adding support to letters to various publications, and Loftus summons the troublemaker to a hastily arranged board meeting.

"Yes, it's rather a quiet design. Have you nothing with a stiletto heel in shocking pink wet look plastic with gold teddy bears on it?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

WHICH DOCTOR?

Originally broadcast: 21 May 1972
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

A Harley Street doctor leaves his medical bag behind in the research unit, Duncan horrified when his Oldmobile disappears from the car park, and Paul confuses the police when he reports the theft of the stolen car.

"What a great idea! I can see it now. All we've got to do is change the labels. Chateau-bottled disinfectant."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E8

CLIMBING THE LADDER

Originally broadcast: 28 May 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Loftus tries to hush rumours about him being in line for a knighthood, Dick looks into the possibilty of becoming a member of the Freemasons, and Duncan and Paul refuse to be tricked by an invite to attend an orgy.

"Excuse me, are you the Freemasons?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E9

FACE THE MUSIC

Originally broadcast: 4 June 1972
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Loftus orders the doctors to attend a memorial service for a benefactor, Duncan puts the organist out of action when he hits him with a golf ball, and Bingham gets drunk on tomato juice after volunteering to stand in.

"What are you wearing, Waring?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E10

MUM'S THE WORD

Originally broadcast: 11 June 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Graham Chapman

Duncan's encouraged to join the board so he can push for a new lab, a story about his mother being a countess impresses the Chairman, and Dick has to think quickly when a patient comes in with a sprained ankle.

"Ooh, I know, I worry something dreadful about my lungs. That makes me nervous, and that's why I smoke."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E11

THE FOX

Originally broadcast: 18 June 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Graham Chapman

Loftus has good reason to be fearful about the arrival of a new matron, Nurse Crumpton is the first casualty when she's caught misbehaving, and the doctors come up with various ways to get revenge on Bingham.

"Leave his vegetables alone!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E12

A NIGHT WITH THE DEAD

Originally broadcast: 25 June 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Graham Chapman

Duncan has a scare from the living after confessing to a fear of the dead, Bingham's furious when he finds the woman he loves with another man, and Dick hopes to end his losing streak with a bet about the mortuary.

"Ah, Dr. Waring, you're in luck. The deceased's on his way down. Just finished his lunch."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E13

THIS IS YOUR WIFE

Originally broadcast: 2 July 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Duncan reluctantly agrees to be best man at Bingham's secret wedding, Dick and Paul jump to conclusions when they overhear talk of marriage, and Loftus is left bemused by strange behaviour during an operation.

"Do you think we'd be right, Dr. Bingham, if we sterilised a sledgehammer and proceeded to batter the patient around the cranium until he was dead?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E14

HONEYMOON SPECIAL

Originally broadcast: 9 July 1972
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Lawrence is plied with alcohol ahead of his honeymoon in the country, Mary's horrified when she finds her new husband with his leg in plaster, and Paul puts his car in a ditch while trying to deliver cutting equipment.

"Too late. Supper's 6:00 to 6:30. Breakfast's 8:00 to 8:30. and we don't do lunch unless we're full and we're not so we don't."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E15

THE LONG, LONG NIGHT

Originally broadcast: 16 July 1972
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Duncan catches a sailor who stumbles into the hospital during the night, symptoms of smallpox force Bingham to put the ward into isolation, and conditions go from bad to worse as they wait for outside assistance.

"And then bang! A shell hit us the midships. Wallop! It gave Ginger a nasty fright. Blew his head off!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E16

THE SYSTEM

Originally broadcast: 23 July 1972
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

The doctors argue about which teaching group has the right to a patient, Loftus orders for a new system to be created to stop it happening again, and Duncan's elaborate plan hits trouble when nobody understands it.

"And you two, did you look at your chart? What does it say? Go along to the scrubbing up room and do impersonations of Loftus?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E17

ON THE BRINK

Originally broadcast: 30 July 1972
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

Paul gets stressed out about the paperwork in the radiology department, Bingham manages to blow an important report out of the window, and Duncan climbs onto scaffolding to stop his friend committing suicide.

"Since you've joined it, however, the radiology department seems to be about as hardworking as a pregnancy testing service in a convent."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E18

AMAZING GRACE

Originally broadcast: 6 August 1972
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

Duncan gets a shock after sending an incompetent student to see Loftus, Paul admits to altering reports to improve his chances of a lectureship, and work begins to turn an idiot into a doctor in a single afternoon.

"My dear girl, he is as thick as two short boobs... I mean planks."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E19

SHUT UP AND EAT WHAT YOU'RE GIVEN

Originally broadcast: 13 August 1972
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Duncan takes issue with the standard of food in the hospital canteen, Paul struggles to cope with a macrobiotic diet of seed and seaweed, and Loftus refuses to believe that there's anything wrong with the catering.

"And I don't want to hear any more complaints about hospital food. As chairman of the catering subcommittee, I can tell you that Dolores and her staff may not be recommended by Egon Ronay, but they do a darn good job. And I'm also told that her dumplings are... erm, quite delightful."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E20

YELLOW FEVER

Originally broadcast: 20 August 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graham Chapman, Bernard McKenna

The doctors accidentally invite a group of Chinese visitors to St. Swithin's, Loftus's demand to show them nothing of importance is soon ignored, and a frantic search begins when the guests start wandering off alone.

"And this here is the very microscope with which Louis Pasteur discovered penicillin... discovered Alexander Fleming."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E21

THE TAMING OF THE WOLF

Originally broadcast: 27 August 1972
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

The doctors get excited about the arrival of female physiotherapists, Duncan tries to change his ways to impress the prettiest of the group, and Bingham point-blank refuses to jive with his wife at the medical ball.

"This lanky straw-haired tailor's dummy is Dr. Stuart-Clark. His charm is matched only by his voracious sexual behaviour. No young lady should accept an invitation from him without first purchasing a handbook on karate and a chastity belt."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E22

AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN

Originally broadcast: 3 September 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Bingham shows the other doctors around his new marital home, Dick and Paul go to see a rundown flat in the hope of getting on the ladder, and Duncan spots a chance for profit after an accidental gazumping.

"Right, now, here's St. Swithin's, yes? Now you turn out of the main gate, turn left by the liver, and you're straight there. Swab!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E23

THAT'S MY UNCLE

Originally broadcast: 10 September 1972
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Graham Chapman

A replacement arrives when Loftus goes on holiday for three weeks, Dick announces that the scrounging womaniser is none other than his uncle, and Duncan tries to get rid by telling a private patient that he's cured.

"Honestly, his uncle! Next, we'll have his mother as matron."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E24

THE BIG MATCH

Originally broadcast: 17 September 1972
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie

The doctors can't agree on whether to get a colour TV or a ping pong table for the common room, Duncan and Paul challenge Bingham to a table tennis match to decide, and Mary struggles in her role as umpire.

"We'll show Bingham."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E25

THE RUMOUR

Originally broadcast: 24 September 1972
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Mrs. Loftus defies her husband by returning to nursing, Lady Cornford's daughter tries to hide her identity when she starts on the wards, and a smitten Duncan jumps to conclusions about the other man in her life.

"But when you break something off it always hurts."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E26

BLACKMAIL

Originally broadcast: 1 October 1972
Directed by: David Boisseau, Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Graham Chapman

Loftus discovers that a rival is also being considered for a knighthood, Dick's suspended for embezzling money from the bar account, and a couple of window cleaners try to retrieve an incriminating tape.

"Perhaps you would be good enough to remove your putrescent carcass from my office, and save me the dubious pleasure of applying my boot to your stringy little gluteus maximus."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E27

LONG DAY'S JOURNEY INTO KNIGHTHOOD

Originally broadcast: 8 October 1972
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

A gang of robbers discuss plans for a bank job next to St. Swithin's, Bingham books a Roll-Royce to take Loftus to receive his knighthood, and rivalry to claim credit leads to an unfortunate series of mishaps.

"Oh, get... knighted!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

SERIES TWO

(1973)
16 episodes
Series Score: 109
Episode Average: 6.81
Perfect 10's: 1

S2E1

THE MERGER

Originally broadcast: 15 September 1973
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: Graham Chapman, David Sherlock

Loftus is heard discussing what will happen when St. Swithin's is knocked down, Bingham reveals that he's already applied for a job at Highcross, and Duncan comes up with a plan to make the hospital look badly run.

"Pollock? That pillock!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

MEN WITHOUT WOMEN

Originally broadcast: 22 September 1973
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna

A depressed doctor insists on talking about his wife leaving him, Duncan makes a move on a new nurse while his girlfriend is in Switzerland, and Dick and Paul resort to chatting up nurses from Highcross on the phone.

"Yes, it is, isn't it? I'll have a little large scotch."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

A DEEP DEPRESSION CENTRED OVER ST. SWITHIN'S

Originally broadcast: 29 September 1973
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Loftus notices just in time that he's about to amputate a healthy leg, Dick takes his mistake hard and considers quitting medicine altogether, and Duncan and Paul get a mouthful after offering the worst kind of advice.

"Clark, it is not standard practice to cure varicose veins by cutting the leg off."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

THE EPIDEMIC

Originally broadcast: 6 October 1973
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Phil Redmond

Duncan's forced to take extra teaching duties when Bingham's taken ill, Reginald Grace starts developing symptoms mentioned on the ward, and the hospital has to be sealed off when a computer diagnoses typhoid.

"Yes, Waring... Ah! It's a good job you're a better surgeon than you are a physician or there'd be a lot of people suffering from athlete's foot who'd now be hopping around with only one leg."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

THE GARDEN FÊTE

Originally broadcast: 13 October 1973
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: Phil Redmond

Loftus forbids Dick from running a bar at the annual St. Swithin's garden fête, Duncan isn't too keen on Annabel entering his beauty contest, and Bingham manages to turn a lecture theatre into a donkey sanctuary.

"Miss National Health? Miss St. Swithin's? No. Miss Used Bedpan 1973?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

BROTHERLY HATE

Originally broadcast: 20 October 1973
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Paul hopes to land the job of senior house surgeon on Loftus's firm, Bingham makes it clear that he has no intention of recommending him, and Duncan loses control of a mischievous plan involving a twin brother.

"Look, I'm a natural surgeon, my dad was a tailor."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E7

THE LOFTUS PAPERS

Originally broadcast: 27 October 1973
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Loftus asks Duncan to accompany him to a surgical conference in Rome, Paul tries to get revenge for being kicked out of the operating theatre, and Dick spots an opportunity when he finds a missing manuscript.

"Oh, alright, don't get your surgical knickers in a twist."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E8

IN PLACE OF STRIFE

Originally broadcast: 3 November 1973
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna

A mix-up sees a group of decorators asked to inspect a patient's breasts, Duncan causes a strike when he picks up a paintbrush to finish off a wall, and a walkout by the nurses leads to chaos on the womens' ward.

"Who wants emptying and who wants filling?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E9

THE POOL

Originally broadcast: 10 November 1973
Directed by: Maurice Murphy
Written by: David Askey

Loftus tries to push through a plan to build a new surgical wing, a pretty student persuades the doctors to support her campaign to save the pool, and an early start for the demolition team leads to accusations of deceit.

"There's a man in there... and he won't let me touch his bottom!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E10

THE GODFATHER

Originally broadcast: 17 November 1973
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Gail Renard

Bingham decides that it's time for his wife to provide him with an heir, Mary reacts angrily when Duncan blurts out the plan for her future, and divisions between the staff make life difficult in the operating theatre.

"Yes, Lawrence, you're absolutely right, you should never have married a woman."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E11

A MAN'S BEST FRIEND IS HIS CAT

Originally broadcast: 24 November 1973
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Loftus asks Duncan to look after his cat while he visits his mother-in-law, the smelly foul-tempered creature ends up housed with the lab animals, and the horror of an empty cage means a replacement has to be found.

"Tabby, or not tabby: that is the question."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E12

THERE'S NO FIRE WITHOUT SMOKE

Originally broadcast: 1 December 1973
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna

Dick and Duncan ignore a fire drill so they can carry on playing cards, Loftus makes them take it seriously by putting them on fire warden duty, and Bingham gets carried away with making the drills as real as possible.

"Now, that's a very useful piece of information. We're always having chip pans bursting into flames during operations."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E13

HELLO SAILOR!

Originally broadcast: 8 December 1973
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Graham Chapman, David Sherlock

Duncan considers marrying money to sort out his overdraft problems, doubts about his motives bring an impulsive decision to join the Navy, and a change of heart leads to a desperate attempt to prove insanity.

"No, I'm not. I've always been a loony ever since I was a tadpole."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E14

ANY COMPLAINTS?

Originally broadcast: 15 December 1973
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Phil Redmond

Dick's new money-making scheme involves selling flowers on the wards, the Patients Protection League receive over six hundred complaints, and a male patient shocks Duncan with a revelation about new membership.

"Are skeletons too big for your cupboard, Dr. Waring?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E15

WATCH OUT - THERE'S A THIEF ABOUT!

Originally broadcast: 22 December 1973
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: Bernard McKenna

Loftus speaks to the doctors about a recent spate of petty thefts, Duncan's spending despite being broke makes him the prime suspect, and Bingham slowly deduces that the friends are operating as a gang.

"Be quiet!!! Just listen to yourselves. Your story's changing every minute. Do you think Sir Geoffrey is a fool? Do you think you can hide behind his back and pull the wool over his ears?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E16

SHOULD AULD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOTTEN?

Originally broadcast: 29 December 1973
Directed by: Bill Turner
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Duncan's shocked when he finds Danny Hooley trying to thumb a lift, Loftus agrees to give his old student a job as a locum in casualty, and Bingham finds a problem when he calls the General Medical Council.

"Ah, can you lend me a quid until I can borrow it?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

Years: 1974
Broadcaster: ITV (LWT)
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Richard Laing, Bernard McKenna,
George Layton, Jonathan Lynn, Gail Renard,
Phil Redmond
Stars: Robin Nedwell, Geoffrey Davies
Episodes: 13
Episode Average: 6.615

BEST EPISODES:
Go Away Stowaway! (1974), But It's So Much Nicer to Come Home (1974)

SERIES ONE

(1974)
13 episodes
Series Score: 86
Episode Average: 6.62
Perfect 10's: 1

S1E1

SIR JOHN AND BABY DOC

Originally broadcast: 21 April 1974
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Gail Renard, Phil Redmond

Duncan offers to resign in protest at Dick being fired from St. Swithin's, a new career on the ocean waves means a trip to the naval outfitters, and the doctors see double when Loftus has a last minute change of heart.

"Normal people usually set a broken leg to face in the same direction as the healthy one."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

OH I DO LIKE TO BE BESIDE THE SEA SICK

Originally broadcast: 28 April 1974
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

The Captain tells his crew what he expects of them at his cocktail party, Duncan visits the doctor when the sea starts to get the better of him, and Dick fears the worst when his friend disappears from the deck.

"I presume that Long John Silver and Polly the Parrot know they're due to see me in my cabin in five minutes."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

A HEALTHY SHIP IS A HAPPY SHIP

Originally broadcast: 5 May 1974
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Dick's willingness to hand out medical chitties impacts on manpower, the furious Captain threatens to leave him behind at the next port, and Duncan discovers the problem with leading an industrial action at sea.

"Landlubber? For God's sake, Dr. Waring, this isn't Treasure Island. You no doubt expected me to have a wooden leg and carry a parrot on my shoulder."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

THE SENIOR OFFICER'S PERKS

Originally broadcast: 12 May 1974
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Prayers are answered when a shapely Austrian passenger comes aboard, Duncan resorts to using his seniority to get one over on his rival, and Dick's furious when he's ordered to make animal noises in a talent show.

"Well then, who's he? Isn't he the doctor? Dr. Stuart-Quack."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

GO AWAY STOWAWAY!

Originally broadcast: 19 May 1974
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

The Purser raises stowaway concerns after finding a pair of trousers, the Captain orders a search of the ship so he can have breakfast in peace, and Dick and Duncan work separately to help the man reach Tenerife.

"Yes, I come back to get married next month to my childhood sweetheart who I have known for two years."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

FLOATING PROFITS

Originally broadcast: 26 May 1974
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

Duncan protests about late night poker games being hosted in his cabin, Dick collapses from exhaustion when it all starts to catch up on him, and the waiting room fills with passengers looking for a good exchange rate.

"I can't see! I know what I've got. I've got acute nervous exhaustion. It can affect you like this you know. My eyes are wide open and I can't see, get Dr. Waring at once."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

GOODBYE, MR. SHIPS!

Originally broadcast: 2 June 1974
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: Gail Renard

Dick's constant lateness leads to a warning about being left behind, Duncan's furious when he finds his orders are ignored yet again, and the doctors are forced to give chase when the ship leaves without them.

"Oh, stop flashing your dimples like an ageing Shirley Temple and come on."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E8

THE V.I.P.

Originally broadcast: 9 June 1974
Directed by: David Askey
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Duncan gets into trouble when a passenger makes complaint about him, the Captain demands best behaviour to impress an undercover reporter, and Dick picks up some local calamari to win favour with the Captain.

"Bulkheads to you too!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E9

IN A LITTLE SPANISH TOWN

Originally broadcast: 16 June 1974
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

The doctors fail miserably in their quest to find a bit female company, Duncan becomes a hero when he rescues a local girl from drowning, and Dick has to get help when talk of marriage turns into a rape allegation.

"Oops a daisy! Dickie's made a mess."

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E10

PHYSICIAN, HEAL THYSELF

Originally broadcast: 23 June 1974
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

A barrage of insults pushes Dick to abandon a plan to lose at poker, Duncan's diagnosed with acute appendicitis after a day out in Madeira, and a desperate search for a surgeon begins to prevent the unthinkable.

"Oh, very natty knickers, Sir."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E11

A WOLF IN SHIP'S CLOTHING

Originally broadcast: 30 June 1974
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

Joyce is upset when she finds her man flirting with a pretty passenger, the Captain makes it clear that a horny old widow must be kept happy, and Duncan finds himself lumbered with three dates at the same time.

"You're as young as the people you feel."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E12

MURDER! HE SAID

Originally broadcast: 8 July 1974
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

Duncan get into trouble for losing his temper in front of passengers, the Purser gets locked in the Duty Free store while gathering evidence, and Dick starts to suspect murder when he can't be found anywhere.

"Have you tried the Missing Pursers Bureau, Sir?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E13

BUT IT'S SO MUCH NICER TO COME HOME

Originally broadcast: 14 July 1974
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

Duncan and Dick resign from their jobs after falling out with each other, St. Swithin's turns out to be a very different place to the one they left, and returning to sea means going to the back of a queue of applicants.

"Ah, Purser. I need a pint of your blood."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

Years: 1975-1977
Broadcaster: ITV (LWT)
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing,
George Layton, Jonathan Lynn, Steve Thorn,
Paul Wolfson, Gail Renard, Chris Beetles,
Rob Buckman, Douglas Adams, Graham Chapman,
Selwyn Roberts, David Yallop
Stars: Robin Nedwell, Geoffrey Davies
Episodes: 26
Episode Average: 6.269

BEST EPISODES:
A Run for Your Money (1975), A Turn for the Nurse (1977)

SERIES ONE

(1975)
13 episodes
Series Score: 78
Episode Average: 6.00
Perfect 10's: 1

S1E1

KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN

Originally broadcast: 27 April 1975
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Duncan applies for a job as junior registrar on Loftus's firm, Dick discovers that doing his old job means working under a woman, and ignoring advice about road accidents threatens to be a costly mistake.

"No, no, I think a woman's place is in the wrong."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

WHEN A BODY MEETS A BODY

Originally broadcast: 4 May 1975
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Duncan's sent to Pentonville Prison to collect a prisoner with acute colic, Gascoigne has no luck with trying to communicate with an Italian family, and Dick's confronted by a man who just wants to have an operation.

"That depends on your sense of humour. Personally, I find your jokes a trifle wearing, Waring."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS

Originally broadcast: 11 May 1975
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Duncan realises that it's twenty years since Loftus became a professor, Dick offers to get his hands on the perfect gift for the occasion, and a series of disagreements make the other doctors reluctant to contribute.

"Do you realise that you bloody English never built any motorways in Scotland until there was nowhere else left to build them? London to Leeds. London to Manchester. London to Slough. Leeds to Birmingham. Birmingham to Manchester. Manchester to Leeds. What about Scotland? So I say down with the trousers and up with the kilt!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

RADIO ACTIVITY

Originally broadcast: 18 May 1975
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

Duncan's tasked with making the new hospital radio service a success, Gascoigne suggests using a play that he had turned down by the BBC, and Dick spots an opportunity to make money from advertising.

"Thank you, Dr. Richard Stuart-Clark. Now, with the time coming up to 7:19... with the time coming up to 7:19, here are James Gascoigne and Sheila Reynolds with the 7:30 news."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

A RUN FOR YOUR MONEY

Originally broadcast: 25 May 1975
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

Loftus looks foward to telling Highcross the final figure for charity week, Duncan wakes up on the womens' ward to find that he's lost nearly £500, and Dick comes up with a way to make money from a cross country race.

"It's twenty past nine. Your watch is drunk."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

LEARNING BY HEART

Originally broadcast: 1 June 1975
Directed by: Gerry Mill
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

Loftus advises Duncan to swot up for his Fellowship anatomy exam, trying to find somewhere quiet proves to be an impossible task, and Kate's offer of help doesn't go down too well with her boyfriend.

"Listen, I'm quite attractive when you've had a few."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

IT'S JUST THE JOB

Originally broadcast: 8 June 1975
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Gail Renard

St. Swithin's try to appeal to school-leavers at a careers exhibition, the head of a chain of hotels provides details of a well-paid job opening, and Dick learns the hard way that some things really are too good to be true.

"Why didn't we think of that first? We could have done the operations on the back of a motor bike dressed up as frogmen."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E8

WHAT'S UP DOC?

Originally broadcast: 15 June 1975
Directed by: Gerry Mill
Written by: Gail Renard

Duncan panics when he finds a gallbladder in the operating theatre bin, concerns about a possible mistake means checking all of the patients, and Dick overhears two students talking about setting up practical jokes.

"I don't know where he gets the gall."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E9

ROOM FOR CHANGE

Originally broadcast: 22 June 1975
Directed by: Gerry Mill
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

The doctors make a complaint about having to share a cramped office, Loftus isn't best pleased at a proposal from the Hospital Secretary, and Duncan conspires with his old tutor to get things put back as they were.

"Mahogany! Your hogany! Anybody's hogany! Who cares as long as we've got the desk."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E10

A HEART IN THE RIGHT PLACE

Originally broadcast: 29 June 1975
Directed by: Gerry Mill
Written by: Steve Thorn, Paul Wolfson

Duncan's tasked with finding an unusual case study for a conference, Gascoigne deals with a woman who claims to have seen little green men, and a patient with tummy trouble turns out to have a very strange heart.

"Well, let them do it, it's not your job. You're a surgical registrar. You don't see a woman with a potato scoop assisting in theatres. But the way the Health Service is going, it won't be very long."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E11

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

Originally broadcast: 6 July 1975
Directed by: Gerry Mill
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Richard Laing

Duncan visits the psychiatrist to work out why he's feeling depressed, Dick and MacKenzie experiences changes after sessions on the couch, and the new 'Geoff' makes the doctors uncomfortable at a dinner party.

"You're kidding, mate. Anybody who goes to see a psychiatrist needs his head examined."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E12

CLUNK CLICK

Originally broadcast: 13 July 1975
Directed by: Gerry Mill
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Duncan and Dick pick up injuries while practising crossing the threshold, Loftus agrees to help save the bar to win support for a new teaching scheme, and St. Swithin's struggle to find answers for a slipped disc.

"Because she's my boss. You'd be married to my boss. In fact, Duncan, you'd be my boss-in-law."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E13

THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE

Originally broadcast: 20 July 1975
Directed by: Gerry Mill
Written by: George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Dick fails to see why anybody would want to marry his overbearing boss, Duncan feels threatened when Gascoigne joins Loftus's firm as a locum, and Kate takes issue with being called names in the operating theatre.

"Oh dear. You can cut the atmosphere with a scalpel."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SERIES TWO

(1977)
13 episodes
Series Score: 85
Episode Average: 6.54
Perfect 10's: 0

S2E1

WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR MOTHER?

Originally broadcast: 16 January 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: David Yallop

Duncan doesn't know what to do when he finds a baby on his doorstep, an attempt to get supplies from maternity leads to a midwifery course, and Sherlock Clark uses a diary in an attempt to track down the mother.

"There must have been a mistake, I only ordered a pint of gold top."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

I LOVE PARIS... WHEN I GET THERE

Originally broadcast: 23 January 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Steve Thorn, Paul Wolfson

Duncan tries to learn French from a record ahead of a trip to Paris, Gascoigne has trouble understanding the handwriting on patient notes, and Loftus orders for a kidney to be collected from a nearby hospital.

"It's 'au revoir'. Nine o'clock Monday morning. And don't send me one of your usual postcards. And if you do, put it in a plain envelope."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

MONEY SPASMS

Originally broadcast: 30 January 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Selwyn Roberts

The doctors desperately need to find money to clear their various debts, Gascoigne reveals the benefits of signing up as research guinea pigs, and Loftus demands answers when he returns from a seminar unexpectedly.

"You look as if somebody just asked you to do some work."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

Originally broadcast: 6 February 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Bernard McKenna

A one-night stand who knows Duncan as Dick starts work at St. Swithin's, Kate suggests inviting her old friend out for a four-way dinner date, and Loftus can't help but be confused by the erratic behaviour of his doctors.

"Knives in the back I understand, Waring, but spoons in the front?"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

THE WAR OF THE WARDS

Originally broadcast: 13 February 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Steve Thorn, Paul Wolfson

Loftus is furious when a gallstone patient is sent to the medical ward, Dick's desire to win an Aston Martin sees him writhing around in agony, and McKenzie reveals the truth about the anaesthetist in the next bed.

"Can you see right through to the other side?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

FOR YOUR OWN GOOD...

Originally broadcast: 20 February 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Graham Chapman, Douglas Adams

Gascoigne's father needs treatment after an accident in the car park, an idea for a betting scam leaves Dick more than £20 out of pocket, and Loftus meets his past wandering around the corridors of St. Swithin's.

"It looks like our roaring lion's in need of a saucer of milk."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E7

BUNNY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND

Originally broadcast: 27 February 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Chris Beetles, Rob Buckman

Loftus tasks Duncan with finding five interesting patients for an exam, Dick goes into business selling soft toys made in occupational therapy, and a deal has to be thrashed out for a bunny-stuffer with a lipoma.

"Dreaming of a white Christmas, Waring?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E8

LOFTUS THE TERRIBLE

Originally broadcast: 6 March 1977
Directed by: Alan Wallis
Written by: Bernard McKenna

Loftus falls out with his wife about the funding for a scintilloscope, Duncan writes an official letter of complaint after one insult too many, and Kate offers Elizabeth a sympathetic ear and a bed for the night.

"Clark, if I ever catch you doing one during an operation again, you'll get an earful of cross words from me that'll do you for the rest of your life."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E9

A TURN FOR THE NURSE

Originally broadcast: 13 March 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Gail Renard

Loftus asks how the Entertainments Committee plan to spend a missing £200, the nurses look for doctors to sponsor them for a competition, and Duncan takes action when he hears of an attempt to fix the contest.

"Oh, look, they're erected a statue of Dr. Waring on the ward at last."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E10

M*A*T*C*H

Originally broadcast: 20 March 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Rob Buckman, Chris Beetles

Duncan's called to casualty while trying to watch football on television, TV repairman visit to take the set away because of a product recall, and Gascoigne's tricked into providing a diagnosis for an unknown disease.

"Isn't it time you took your Christmas tree down?"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E11

CALIFORNIA GIRLS

Originally broadcast: 27 March 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Steve Thorn, Paul Wofson

Loftus asks Duncan to protect an American student against molestation, four turns out to be a crowd when three dates are arranged, and the search for the perfect English gentlemen leads somewhere unexpected.

"Yeah? You should hear me when I really get going, I'm totally incomprehensible."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E12

SUNDAY BLEEPING SUNDAY

Originally broadcast: 3 April 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Chris Beetles, Rob Buckman

A miserable and tired Duncan is forced to spend his birthday in casualty, Dick's too busy chasing a nurse to remember the significance of the day, and Gascoigne demonstrates how to turn a leg into a plaster disaster.

"Hello! What? Look, tell him from me, his chest infection will clear up whether he sticks the red end in first, the black end in first, both in, or sticks it right up his right nostril and sniffs the whole down at once."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E13

HAPPY EVER AFTER

Originally broadcast: 10 April 1977
Directed by: Bryan Izzard
Written by: Bernard McKenna

Duncan announces that he's booked a date for getting married to Kate, Dick tries to make money by selling tickets to the wedding reception, and Loftus removes the final obstacle when he cancels his Caribbean cruise.

"There's absolutely nothing wrong with my marriage. Apart from my wife, that is."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

Years: 1979
Broadcaster: Seven Network
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Jon Watkins, Bernard McKenna,
Bernie Sharp, Richard Gordon
Stars: Robin Nedwell, Geoffrey Davies
Episodes: 13
Episode Average: 4.846

BEST EPISODES:
If a Job's Worth Doing (1979), If You Can't Beat 'Em... (1979)

SERIES ONE

(1979)
13 episodes
Series Score: 63
Episode Average: 4.85
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES

Originally broadcast: 19 February 1979
Directed by: William G. Stewart
Written by: Bernard McKenna, Jon Watkins

Dick turns up with amnesia at the hospital where Duncan's working in Australia, Linda Franklin is educated on the finer points of the BREAST map, and Professor Beaumont is furious when Griffin loses his patient.

"Now, look here, Father Christmas."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

IF A JOB'S WORTH DOING

Originally broadcast: 26 February 1979
Directed by: William G. Stewart
Written by: Bernard McKenna

Duncan wakes up to find that Nurse Patterson stayed for the night, the blood and guts of the operating theatre prove to be too much for a hangover, and Dick finds a way of making sure that he doesn't get a job.

"Thank you, Miss Franklin. If you'll have that typed up. And take a little more care than yesterday. It's 'parotitis' with an 'r', nothing to do with parrots. And it's 'Stensen's duct', not duck. I'm a surgeon, not a vet."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

A BIRD IN THE HAND

Originally broadcast: 5 March 1979
Directed by: William G. Stewart
Written by: Jon Watkins

The new physiotherapist proves to be popular with patients and doctors alike, Dick finds himself nominated to attend a medical conference, and Beaumont's furious when Duncan fails to turn up for a renal transplant.

"Have you ever considered you might have hyperactive gonads?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM...

Originally broadcast: 12 March 1979
Directed by: John Eastway
Written by: Jon Watkins

Griffin turns to the other doctors for advice about a nurse he fancies, Beaumont's horrified at the behaviour of his doctors in front of guests, and Duncan struggles to keep his eyes open in the operating theatre.

"Just face the fact old boy that this could be the end of Griffin the virgin surgeon."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

ALIAS CLARK & WARING

Originally broadcast: 19 March 1979
Directed by: John Eastway
Written by: Jon Watkins

A patient with a broken leg tries to get the right price for a set of skis, Loftus writes to Beaumont about a £2000 debt in the name of Waring, and Dick's decision to visit the racecourse only makes matters worse.

"Yeah, well, they used to send criminals over here, I'm going to reverse the procedure."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

IMPATIENTS

Originally broadcast: 26 March 1979
Directed by: John Eastway
Written by: Bernard McKenna

Duncan manages to upset a large man in a very small car in the car park, Beaumont lets rip about the number of complaints aimed at his doctors, and Dick faces an accusation of lying about a red pin on the BREAST map.

"It's a very good disguise. The only people who'll recognise you are the people who've seen you before."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

THE SYDNEY SURPRISE

Originally broadcast: 2 April 1979
Directed by: John Eastway
Written by: Jon Watkins

Beaumont accepts an offer of cover so he can spend the day with his wife, Dick uses the opportunity to relax on a boat with his girlfriend, and Duncan races to the harbour to deliver a warning about a meeting.

"Well, you shouldn't stay up all night watching the late-night horror movie. Now you look like one of the cast."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E8

THE NAME OF THE GAME

Originally broadcast: 9 April 1979
Directed by: John Eastway
Written by: Bernard McKenna

Beaumont requests the use of Duncan's flat for the afternoon, Dick's need to win his rent money means finding alternative accommodation, and Griffin looks to cause trouble from an overheard conversation.

"I'll tell you what, I'll give you the keys to the anatomy room, right? But I do not want to find any of the samples from that room turning up in the local antique shops as 'Nelson's Kidneys' or 'Ned Kelly's Wotsits'."

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E9

IDENTITY CRISIS

Originally broadcast: 16 April 1979
Directed by: John Eastway
Written by: Bernard McKenna

The angry mother of one of the nurses demands to see Dr. Waring, Dick's not too happy about having his toes stepped on by the wardsmen, and Griffin complains to Beaumont after an argument about a patient.

"Now, look, I didn't take a percentage of your 'Guess the aize of Matron's knockers' competition, so you'd better not get dirty over the soap, right?"

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E10

I GOTTA HORSE

Originally broadcast: 23 April 1979
Directed by: William G. Stewart
Written by: Bernie Sharp

Duncan's persuaded to invest in a racehorse by a retired jockey, Sister Cummings reports her understanding of the conversation to Beaumont, and Dick miraculously finds enough money to get a piece of the action.

"Yes, I must confess I do confuse myself at times."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E11

THE HAWAIIAN OPERATION

Originally broadcast: 30 April 1979
Directed by: John Eastway
Written by: Jon Watkins

Dick tries to drum up interest for his Hawaiian holiday raffle, Duncan's furious when he finds out that the whole thing is fixed, and Beaumont buys 99% of the tickets to try and get out of visiting his sister-in-law.

"Now, Dunc, I am definitely not making hardly anything out of it."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E12

THE MORE WE ARE TOGETHER

Originally broadcast: 7 May 1979
Directed by: John Eastway
Written by: Jon Watkins

Dick finds himself accused of acting like a first year medical student, a relationship with a colleague persuades Duncan to clean up his act, and a revelation from Griffin brings about a very unexpected change.

"As you left the side of the sick old lady, you put your shirt on inside out, you forgot your socks. And I think I'd hate to see Granny Clark wearing those."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E13

IT'S ALL IN THE MIND

Originally broadcast: 14 May 1979
Directed by: John Eastway
Written by: Bernie Sharp

Griffin's ridiculed for reading a book about the headhunters of Borneo, Dick and Duncan grab an opportunity to get to grips with Lady Godiva's legs, and Beaumont tires of talk about a witch doctor at St. Barnabas.

"Well, I went to a fancy dress ball once as foreign legionnaire. I had far too much to drink and when I woke up the next morning, someone had put sand down my underpants."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

Years: 1991
Broadcaster: BBC
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: George Layton, Bill Oddie,
Richard Gordon
Stars: Robin Nedwell, Geoffrey Davies
Episodes: 7
Episode Average: 5.429

BEST EPISODES:
The Kindest Cut (1991), Bye Bye, Bickerstaff (1991)

SERIES ONE

(1991)
7 episodes
Series Score: 38
Episode Average: 5.43
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

SINS OF THE FATHER

Originally broadcast: 21 February 1991
Directed by: Susan Belbin
Written by: George Layton

Professor Stuart-Clark is unhappy about his daughter's involvement in a protest, Duncan's wife questions the motives behind plans to honour her father, and Paul offers to help a medical student with her anatomy.

"Bet you never though you'd see your old professor reduced to tears. Look at me, the Ogre of St. Swithin's blubbing like a schoolgirl."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SIR GEOFFREY

Originally broadcast: 28 February 1991
Directed by: Susan Belbin
Written by: George Layton

Duncan isn't happy about having to contribute £100 to the birthday fund, Paul suggests ways for the students to raise money for a computer, and Sir Geoffrey finds himself surrounded by strangers at his gala dinner.

"It's no wonder he's behind with his work, she's got him running around like a rat with piles."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

THE V.I.P.

Originally broadcast: 7 March 1991
Directed by: Susan Belbin
Written by: George Layton

The administrator's unwillingness to spend leaves the hospital in a poor state, rumours spread about the arrival of a very important patient, and Dick schemes to make sure that he'll be the one doing the operation.

"Ah, that's good, I see. A memo telling us to look in our pigeonhole is put in a pigeonhole we didn't look into because we don't know we've got a pigeonhole because the memo telling us about the pigeonhole is put in a pigeonhole we don't know about. Oh, very good."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

THE KINDEST CUT...

Originally broadcast: 14 March 1991
Directed by: Susan Belbin
Written by: Bill Oddie

A pregnant patient demands to see the doctor responsible for her latest baby, Duncan feels the effect of Paul deciding to have a vasectomy, and the appearance of a beautiful stranger gives cause for second thoughts.

"But personally, I absolutely forbid any of my patients to indulge in any erotic activities for at least a week. Otherwise it tends to being out the bruising. It can look like Gonzo from The Muppet Show."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

BYE BYE, BICKERSTAFF

Originally broadcast: 21 March 1991
Directed by: Susan Belbin
Written by: George Layton

Dick tries to persuade his wife to let him attend a rugby match in Cardiff, the death of a former St. Swithin's student seems to provide the answer, and an unexpected spanner in the works suddenly makes a suggestion.

"Which is his mother? If the vicar takes much longer, I think she's going to join him."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

IT'S ALRIGHT, I AM A DOCTOR

Originally broadcast: 28 March 1991
Directed by: Susan Belbin
Written by: Bill Oddie

Paul gets a job offering medical advice on a television breakfast show, Rebecca upsets her father by answering questions about older men, and a fan letter written by Duncan leads to an unexpected announcement.

"Oh, Dad, don't be such a bitch!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

WARING GOES PRIVATE

Originally broadcast: 4 April 1991
Directed by: Susan Belbin
Written by: Bill Oddie

A stressed Duncan loses his temper with a knowledgeable young patient, Snell complains to Dick after being showered with a carton of milk, and Geraldine suggests asking Paul for some experience in private medicine.

"The Basil Fawlty of St. Swithin's strikes again."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

DR. DICK STUART-CLARK

Played by Geoffrey Davies
141 episodes

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

24 episodes (1969-1970)
in... Peace and Quiet (S1E4)

UNCREDITED AND UNNAMED, COULD THIS BE STUART-CLARK?

DOCTOR IN
TROUBLE

(Film - 1970)

DOCTOR AT LARGE

21 episodes (1971)
in... Where There's a Will (S1E12)

DOCTOR IN CHARGE

37 episodes (1975-1977)
in... Mum's the Word (S1E10)

DOCTOR AT SEA

13 episodes (1979)
in... Goodbye, Mr. Ships! (S1E7)

DOCTOR ON THE GO

26 episodes (1991)
in... It's the Thought That Counts (S1E3)

DOCTOR DOWN UNDER

13 episodes (1979)
in... Impatients (S1E6)

DOCTOR AT THE TOP

7 episodes (1991)
in... Happy Birthday, Sir Geoffrey (S1E2)

DR. DUNCAN P. WARING

Played by Robin Nedwell
128 episodes

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

26 episodes (1969-1970)
in... If in Doubt - Cut it Out Out! (S1E7)

DOCTOR IN CHARGE

43 episodes (1972-1973)
in... The Big Match (S1E24)

DOCTOR AT SEA

13 episodes (1974)
in... Oh I Do Like to Be Beside the Sea Sick (S1E2)

DOCTOR ON THE GO

26 episodes (1975-1977)
in... A Turn for the Nurse (S2E9)

DOCTOR DOWN UNDER

13 episodes (1979)
in... Thanks for the Memory (1979)

DOCTOR AT THE TOP

7 episodes (1991)
in... Sins of the Father (S1E1)

DR. PAUL COLLIER

Played by George Layton
90 episodes

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

21 episodes (1969-1970)
in... Put Your Hand on That (S2E6)

DOCTOR AT LARGE

24 episodes (1971)
in... The Viva (S1E27)

DOCTOR IN CHARGE

38 episodes (1972-1973)
in... The Garden Fête (S2E5)

DOCTOR AT THE TOP

7 episodes (1991)
in... The V.I.P. (S1E3)

PROFESSOR GEOFFREY LOFTUS

Played by Ernest Clark
86 episodes

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

15 episodes (1969-1970)
in... All for Love... (S1E12)

DOCTOR AT LARGE

6 episodes (1971)
in... Mother and Father Doing Well (S1E21)

DOCTOR IN CHARGE

33 episodes (1972-1973)
in... Doctor's Lib (S1E6)

DOCTOR AT SEA

2 episodes (1974)
in... Sir John and Baby Doc (S1E1)

DOCTOR ON THE GO

26 episodes (1975-1977)
in... Loftus the Terrible (S2E8)

DOCTOR AT THE TOP

4 episodes (1991)
in... Happy Birthday, Sir Geoffrey (S1E2)

DR. MICHAEL UPTON

Played by Barry Evans
55 episodes

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

26 episodes (1969-1970)
in... It's All in the Little Blue Book (S2E1)

DOCTOR AT LARGE

29 episodes (1971)
in... Saturday Matinee (S1E11)

DR. LAWRENCE BINGHAM

Played by Richard O'Sullivan
36 episodes

DOCTOR AT LARGE

26 episodes (1971)
in... A Joke's a Joke (S1E22)

DOCTOR IN CHARGE

10 episodes (1972-1973)
in... Face the Music (S1E9)

DR. JAMES GASCOIGNE

Played by Andrew Knox
21 episodes

DOCTOR ON THE GO

21 episodes (1975-1977)
in... Clunk Click (S1E12)

DR. ANDREW MacKENZIE

Played by John Kane
20 episodes

DOCTOR ON THE GO

20 episodes (1975-1977)
in... Radio Activity (S1E4)

DAVE BRIDDOCK

Played by Simon Cuff
19 episodes

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

19 episodes (1969-1970)
in... The Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever
Casino (S1E10)

DR. KATHERINE WRIGHT

Played by Jacquie-Ann Carr
15 episodes

DOCTOR ON THE GO

15 episodes (1975-1977)
in... What's Your Problem? (S1E11)

CAPTAIN NORMAN LOFTUS

Played by Ernest Clark
13 episodes

DOCTOR AT SEA

13 episodes (1974)
in... Floating Profits (S1E6)

PROFESSOR NORMAN BEAUMONT

Played by Frank Wilson
12 episodes

DOCTOR DOWN UNDER

12 episodes (1979)
in... A Bird in the Hand (1979)

DR. MAURICE GRIFFIN

Played by John Derum
13 episodes

DOCTOR DOWN UNDER

13 episodes (1979)
in... If You Can't Beat 'Em ()

THE DEAN

Played by Ralph Michael/Clive Morton
11 episodes

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

7 episodes (1969-1970)
in... Keep It Clean! (S1E11)

CLIVE MORTON ACTED AS STAND-IN FOR ONE EPISODE

DOCTOR AT LARGE

1 episodes (1971)
in... Now Dr. Upton... (S1E1)

DOCTOR AT LARGE

4 episodes (1971)
in... Students at Heart (S1E13)

HUW EVANS

Played by Martin Shaw
11 episodes

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

10 episodes (1969)
in... If in Doubt - Cut It Out! (S1E7)

DOCTOR AT LARGE

1 episode (1971)
in... Mother and Father Doing Well (S1E21)

PURSER

Played by John Grieve
11 episodes

DOCTOR AT SEA

11 episodes (1974)
in... A Healthy Ship Is a Happy Ship (S1E3)

DANNY HOOLEY

Played by Jonathan Lynn
10 episodes

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

9 episodes (1970)
in... May the Best Man... (S2E11)

DOCTOR IN CHARGE

1 episode (1973)
in... Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot? (S2E16)

LINDA FRANKLIN

Played by Jennifer Mellet
9 episodes

DOCTOR DOWN UNDER

9 episodes (1979)
in... If a Job's Worth Doing (1979)

MRS. ELIZABETH LOFTUS

Played by Joan Benham
8 episodes

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

1 episodes (1969)
in... All for Love... (S1E12)

DOCTOR IN CHARGE

5 episodes (1972-1973)
in... A Man's Best Friend Is His Cat (S2E11)

DOCTOR ON THE GO

2 episodes (1975-1977)
in... It's the Thought That Counts (S1E3)