100 Greatest Movie Insults

100. Let's start with... Obvious: 'scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?

(C.D. Bales)

99. Is it true when you were born the doctor turned around and slapped your mother?

(Tick)

98. If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards.

(Brian Kelly)

97. .. I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

(Westley)

96. You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole.

(Otto)

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36. Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wanda: Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

95. ..you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder.

(Princess Leia)

94. ..You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of kaligenous junk!

(Wizard of Oz)

93. ..You shit-kicking, stinky, horse-manure-smellin' motherfucker you.

(Nicky Santoro)

92. ..You dirt-eating piece of slime, you scum-sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat.

(Lucky Day)

91. How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil?.. you eunuch jelly thou!

(Alex)

90. You no-business, born-insecure, junkyard motha-fucka!

(Dolemite)

89. You're a fuckin' secretary. Fuck you. That's my message to you: fuck you and you can kiss my ass..

(Shelley Levene)

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67. Blake: I've been in this business fifteen years...
Dave Moss: What's your name?
Blake: Fuck you. That's my name.

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37. You stupid fucking cunt. You, Williamson, I'm talking to you, shithead. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you idiot?

(Ricky Roma)

88. You're an emotional fucking cripple. Your soul is dog shit. Every single fucking thing about you is ugly.

(Marcus)

87. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell.

(Alexandra Medford)

86. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off.

(Malibu Police Chief)

85. ..You're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to become an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.

(Ken)

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39. Natalie: Harry!
Harry: What?
Natalie: It's a inanimate fucking object!
Harry: *You're* an inanimate fuckin' object!

84. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

(Gunnery Sergeant Hartman)

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53. You climb obstacles like old people fuck! You know that, Private Pyle?!

(Gunnery Sergeant Hartman)

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25. I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around.

(Gunnery Sergeant Hartman)

83. You're just the afterbirth, Eli.
..You slithered out of your mother's filth. They should have put you in a glass jar on a mantlepiece.

(Daniel Plainview)

82. You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.

(Buzz)

81. Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?
Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.

80. Robyn wouldn't piss on your gums if your teeth were on fire.

(Matt Wilson)

79. There is a name for you, ladies, but it isn't used in high society... outside of a kennel.

(Crystal Allen)

78. You're one... *ugly* motherfucker!

(Dutch)

77. Sheila: You found me beautiful once...
Ash: Honey, you got reeeal ugly!

76. You, you're okay. This one: real fuckin' ugly.

(Nada)

75. Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face!

(Buck)

74. Gracie: I'd go with you but...
Jack Burton: I know, there's a problem with your face.

73. You're incapable of running this shit. *Sit* your five dollar ass down before I make change.

(Nino Brown)

72. What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.
..may God have mercy on your soul.

(Principal)

71. Perry: Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
Harry: A picture of me?
Perry: No! The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!

70. Staff Sgt. Dignam: This is unbelievable. Who put the fuckin' cameras in this place?
Police Camera Tech: Oh, who the fuck are you?
Staff Sgt. Dignam: I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.

69. Benny Blanco: Maybe you don't remember me, my name is Benny...
Carlito: Maybe I don't give a shit! Maybe I don't remember the last time I blew my nose either.

68. Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock!

(Malcolm Tucker)

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17. Malcolm Tucker: Fucking hoity-toity fucking...
'Tourist': Hey, buddy? Enough with the curse words, all right?
Malcolm Tucker: Kiss my sweaty balls, you fat fuck.

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5. You are a real boring fuck. Sorry, sorry, I know you disapprove of swearing so I'll sort that out. You are a boring F, star, star, CUNT!

(Malcolm Tucker)

66. Ace: This is your last chance. What do you say, kid?
Chris: Why don't you go home and fuck your mother some more?

65. Marty: Tell me about it.
Mr. Grocer: Like I'm gonna put a bullet hole in your fuckin' forehead, and I'm gonna fuck the brain hole!

64. I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can't see the stove.

(Rufus T. Firefly)

63. You're a lot of woman, you know that? Hey, you wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?

(Al Czervik)

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45. Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.

(Al Czervik)

62. Cab Dispatcher: Why don't you try the airlines? It's faster and you get a free meal.
Neal: If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the john and watch you take a leak.

61. Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...
[picks up a megaphone]
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?

60. Deb: I'm trying to earn money for college.
Kip: [from the background] Your mom goes to college.

59. 'Student': Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?
Janis: Your mom's chest hair!

58. Principal Richard Vernon: Any questions?
John Bender: Yeah, I have a question. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardobe?

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27. That's what I thought. You're a gutless turd.

(Principal Richard Vernon)

57. Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

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41. People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch.

(Melvin Udall)

56. Adam Gibson: You should clone yourself
Drucker: Why's that?
Adam Gibson: So you can go fuck yourself!

55. I tea-bagged your fucking drum set!

(Brennan Huff)

54. You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!

(Ulysses 'Everett' McGill)

52. I crap bigger than you!

(Curly Washburn)

51. I used to fuck guys like you in prison.

(Jimmy)

50. Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.
Rooster Cogburn: Fill your hands, you son of a bitch.

49. Hey Laserlips. Your mama was a snowblower.

(Number 5)