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2012 at the Movies - Xanadon't
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List Type:
2044
7.6
7.8
That's right- the original poster featured punk rock nipples.
Xanadon't's rating:
453
6.3
6.4
Contraband (2012)
Because at times the plot felt as though it was held together by duct-tape.
Xanadon't's rating:
523
5.5
5.8
Haywire (2012)
...but to kick total ass while looking pretty and also doing a fairish job at acting but luckily Soderbergh has been doing this thing long enough to know how to minimize the "not a professional actor" fall-out, while also bucking the Jason Bourne School of Editing philosophy.
Xanadon't's rating:
921
6.7
6.8
The Grey (2012)
"Danny! I'm coming Danny! I'm gonna getcha Danny-boy!"
Xanadon't's rating:
1543
7.8
7.9
The Artist (2011)
Well, actually... yes, it is sort of like a DeBeers Diamonds commercial, only longer.
Xanadon't's rating:
1126
6.3
6.4
"I say, old chap, this David Cronenberg fellow is one wheel shy of a full barrow."
"Poppycock!"
"Come again?"
"Horsefeathers!"
"What ever do you mean?"
"Tommyrot! Flapdoodle! Balderdash!"
"My dear sir, I'm not certain that I understand your objection in the matter."
"You're a fucking idiot. David Cronenberg is the motherfucking shit, so shut your goddamn word-hole."
"Oh. I see."
Xanadon't's rating:
178
7.3
7.3
Bullhead (2011)
I just can't believe they didn't go with this poster.
Xanadon't's rating:
1409
7.2
7.2
Shame (2011)
I liked this movie less than all of ^those^ people did.
Xanadon't's rating:
357
6.5
6.8
"A dressed up romantic comedy that
MOVES
you to roll your eyes.MAGICAL
in the way it underwhelms." - Xanadon't
Xanadon't's rating:
1225
7.4
7.5
"Trades overly self-conscious art-house sensibility for the chance to becomes something vital. A disappointment of a movie **1/2" - Xanadon't Observer
Xanadon't's rating:
744
7.4
7.6
The Raid: Redemption (2011) (2011)
Pretty sure that tagline reads, "30 floors of epic badassery that puts the last action movie you saw to shame". Or at least it should.
Xanadon't's rating:
3933
7.6
8
The Avengers (2012)
I've already forgotten who the guy in the glasses is. If only there was another Avengers movie coming out to remind me.
Xanadon't's rating:
1559
6.1
6.1
Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)
Promises to feature just as many crows as there were in that movie The Birds, plus at least two more hatchets.
Xanadon't's rating:
2161
6.7
7
Prometheus (2012)
"The search for our beginning could lead to our end."
And the search for Alien's beginning could lead to frustration.
Xanadon't's rating:
1699
7.7
7.8
Keeping cursive cool since nineteen ninety something.
Xanadon't's rating:
659
5.9
6.3
To Rome with Love (2012)
..while Woody Allen realized that this title didn't actually make any fucking sense in relation to the film.
Xanadon't's rating:
754
6.6
6.7
Seeking a title for the beginning of our marketing campaign. Oh, fuck it. That's our title. And this is our poster. And it's the only one. We're sorry. Especially since the movie is actually pretty damn good.
Xanadon't's rating:
338
6.2
6.7
"I know! Let's make a largely enjoyable movie that's actually quite funny and engaging, but disguise it as just another stuffy costume drama."
Amazingly, everyone listened.
Xanadon't's rating:
206
6.9
6.7
Your Sister's Sister (2012)
took me to your brother's brother's movie and it was sublime. (sorry- a little Duplass brothers humor there. It's okay if you don't get it. In fact, it's probably encouraging.) But it really is sublime.
Xanadon't's rating:
3861
7.7
8.4
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
.04% of the world's population enjoyed the bottom movie more. I'm of that .04%
Xanadon't's rating:
501
6.8
6.9
Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)
SAFETY
NOT
GUARANTEED
In Xanadon't Living Room: Whenever, 2013
______________________________________
* WANTED * Someone to
watch this movie with me.
This is not a joke. You'll
get ice cream after we get
done. Must bring your
own popcorn. Safety not
guaranteed. I have only
watched this three times before.
Xanadon't's rating:
281
6.8
6.5
You guys need a tagline for your poster? How about, "This movie has flashes of brilliance, but they're only minor and short-lived and ultimately the movie is actually kind of frustrating and mostly just so-so."
No?
You're just gonna run without a tagline?
Fine. Whatever.
Xanadon't's rating:
831
6.9
7.3
Yes, really, ^this^ along with the primary image to its left are apparently the only U.S. released posters to be found. How's that for completely generic and uninspired?? Ah but what the hell- this time it really is a case of the product matching the packaging.
Xanadon't's rating:
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Running down the movies I watched at the cinema this year- presented in chronological order. Last year I caught 50 films during their theatrical run and 52 if you include repeated theatrical viewings of both Drive and Hugo. (And I like to include them, because it took me to an average of exactly one film per week!) This year I managed to see 56 different films at my local movie theaters (wait, no-- I actually watched one of them in Charleston, SC) and, oddly enough, wound up with two repeat viewings once again. Prometheus and The Perks of Being a Wallflower took the "multiple viewings honor" this time around.
What does all of this tell me? Well, basically, it indicates that I still love movies and that I took in far too many calories this year on movie theater popcorn.
Also, while the difference in number is slight, I've been under the impression for a while now that 2012 was a stronger year for movies than 2011. Was it 6 movies better? I dunno. So I think what I'll do is figure my average rating for the movies on this list vs. the movies on last year's list. You know, just for fun. And because I'm a huge dork. And to see if the numbers back up this general feeling of mine.
If you're interested in my take on any of these films they can be viewed somewhere over here: 2012 Film Archive
Okay, well shooting for 60 movies in 2013.
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