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Added by Aira on 28 Sep 2010 08:51
12084 Views 46 Comments
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Weird Translations... by sections

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If...

Ok, it's already weird, but it's a verse of "Eloisa to Abelard" by Alexander Pope. I guess the Italian translation of this poetry was too "cultural", so they chose a simple (and horrible) title explaining the plot:

Se mi lasci ti cancello

If you leave me I erase you

People who added this item 52 Average listal rating (31 ratings) 5 IMDB Rating 5.2
No comment.

Se ti investo mi sposi?

If I run you over will you marry me?


People who added this item 1832 Average listal rating (1101 ratings) 5.3 IMDB Rating 5.6

Se scappi ti sposo

If you run away I marry you


People who added this item 5 Average listal rating (3 ratings) 7 IMDB Rating 4.7

Se scappi ti trovo

If you run away I find you

People who added this item 24 Average listal rating (15 ratings) 5.5 IMDB Rating 5.8
Time Share (2000)

Se cucini ti sposo

If you cook I marry you

People who added this item 21 Average listal rating (13 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 6.6
Honky Tonk (1941)
Mmh... I don't know if men would like this one...

Se mi vuoi sposami

If you want me marry me

People who added this item 128 Average listal rating (71 ratings) 4.5 IMDB Rating 5.3
Picture This (2008)

Se mi guardi mi sciolgo

If you look at me I melt

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It's all about love

Some words are more attractive than others. And the most attractive word is surely "love"
This is one of the worst title translations. It gives the wrong idea of two people meeting by chance and fall in love, while the most important thing in this story is time circularity.

Un amore all'improvviso

A love on a sudden


People who added this item 412 Average listal rating (269 ratings) 5.7 IMDB Rating 6.1
Larry Crowne (2011)
I think they liked the title above so much to copy it for a new movie. In fact, they only changed the article from indefinite to definite. This is pathetic.

L'amore all'improvviso

The love on a sudden


People who added this item 2909 Average listal rating (1856 ratings) 7.5 IMDB Rating 7.8
Walk the Line (2005)
I don't like this. They didn't care at all about Cash song "I walk the line" and its meaning, and chose:

Quando l'amore brucia l'anima

When love burns your soul

People who added this item 642 Average listal rating (402 ratings) 5.8 IMDB Rating 5.6
When in Rome (2010)

La fontana dell'amore

The love fountain

People who added this item 1487 Average listal rating (916 ratings) 5.8 IMDB Rating 6.2

Tutta colpa dell'amore

It's all love's fault

People who added this item 28 Average listal rating (12 ratings) 6.7 IMDB Rating 6
Wedding Wars (2006)

Amore in sciopero

Love on strike

People who added this item 1357 Average listal rating (809 ratings) 4.8 IMDB Rating 5.2

Un amore a 5 stelle

A 5-star Love


People who added this item 301 Average listal rating (193 ratings) 5.6 IMDB Rating 6
Leatherheads (2008)

In amore niente regole

No rules in love


People who added this item 199 Average listal rating (116 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 6.2
Noel (2004)

Un amore sotto l'albero

A love under the (Christmas) tree


Un amore tutto suo

A love that's all her

People who added this item 141 Average listal rating (84 ratings) 6 IMDB Rating 7

La voce dell'amore

Love's voice

People who added this item 1330 Average listal rating (796 ratings) 5.6 IMDB Rating 5.7

Appuntamento con l'amore

Date with Love

People who added this item 739 Average listal rating (465 ratings) 5.7 IMDB Rating 6.2
Fever Pitch (2005)

L'amore in gioco

Love into play

People who added this item 73 Average listal rating (37 ratings) 5.4 IMDB Rating 5.4

Fantasma per amore

Ghost for love

People who added this item 124 Average listal rating (66 ratings) 5.2 IMDB Rating 5.5
Bee Season (2005)

Parole d'amore

Love words

People who added this item 344 Average listal rating (224 ratings) 6.5 IMDB Rating 6.8

Paura d'amare

Afraid to love

People who added this item 58 Average listal rating (40 ratings) 5.5 IMDB Rating 6.1

Una strada, un amore

One street, one love

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Don't!

People who added this item 1936 Average listal rating (1250 ratings) 7.4 IMDB Rating 7.5
Just a warning...

Non aprite quella porta

Don't open that door


People who added this item 272 Average listal rating (186 ratings) 5.7 IMDB Rating 5.4
Prom Night (1980)

Non entrate in quella casa

Don't enter that house

Don't worry if it doesn't make any sense in English.
It doesn't in Italian too.

Non guardarmi: non ti sento

Don't look at me: I can't hear you

People who added this item 16 Average listal rating (5 ratings) 6 IMDB Rating 5.3

Non giocate con il catcus

Don't play with the cactus


Note: in Italian, cactus is used sometimes as a euphemism for a certain part of a man's body...
People who added this item 129 Average listal rating (84 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 5.5
City Heat (1984)

Per piacere... non salvarmi più la vita

Please... don't save my life anymore

People who added this item 636 Average listal rating (402 ratings) 7.3 IMDB Rating 7.5

Per favore, non toccate le vecchiette

Please, don't touch the old ladies

People who added this item 77 Average listal rating (58 ratings) 6.7 IMDB Rating 6.7

Io non credo a nessuno

I don't believe in anybody

People who added this item 68 Average listal rating (42 ratings) 6.7 IMDB Rating 6.4

Non rubare... se non è strettamente necessario

Don't steal... if it's not strictly necessary

People who added this item 506 Average listal rating (300 ratings) 5.8 IMDB Rating 5.7

Non violentate Jennifer

Don't rape Jennifer

Per favore non toccate le palline

Please don't touch the little balls

People who added this item 1825 Average listal rating (1206 ratings) 6.6 IMDB Rating 7.1

Non mi scaricare

Don't dump me

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Family portraits

People who added this item 6842 Average listal rating (4833 ratings) 6.7 IMDB Rating 7.7
Home Alone (1990)

Mamma, ho perso l'aereo

Mom, I missed the plane


People who added this item 1808 Average listal rating (1161 ratings) 4.1 IMDB Rating 4.4
Home Alone 3 (1997)

Mamma, ho preso il morbillo

Mom, I got the measles


People who added this item 13 Average listal rating (9 ratings) 6.7 IMDB Rating 6.3
French original title: Le distrait

Che carriera che si fa con l'aiuto di mammà!

What a career advancing with mom's help!

French original title: L'événement le plus important depuis que l'homme a marché sur la lune
(the most important event since man walked on the moon)

Niente di grave, suo marito è incinto

Nothing serious, your husband is pregnant

People who added this item 59 Average listal rating (29 ratings) 6.4 IMDB Rating 6.2

Papà, sei una frana!

Dad, you're hopeless!


Era mio padre

He was my father


People who added this item 133 Average listal rating (86 ratings) 6.8 IMDB Rating 7.2
Avanti! (1972)

Che cosa è successo tra mio padre e tua madre?

What happened between my father and your mother?

Ma papà ti manda sola?

But your daddy send you alone?

People who added this item 256 Average listal rating (155 ratings) 5.3 IMDB Rating 5.2
Fathers' Day (1997)

Due padri di troppo

Two fathers too many


Il mondo è pieno di papà

The world is full of dads

People who added this item 679 Average listal rating (421 ratings) 7.3 IMDB Rating 7.1

Quando la moglie è in vacanza

When the wife is on vacation

People who added this item 739 Average listal rating (445 ratings) 7 IMDB Rating 7.3

La moglie del soldato

The soldier's wife

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The more the merrier

People who added this item 727 Average listal rating (441 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 6.1
The Switch (2010)

Due cuori e una provetta

Two hearts and a test-tube

People who added this item 77 Average listal rating (55 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 7.2
Go West (1925)

Io e la vacca

Me and the cow


Note: in Italian "vacca" also means "wh*re"
People who added this item 2205 Average listal rating (1459 ratings) 5.2 IMDB Rating 5.5

Fatti, strafatti e strafighe

(People) Got high, superhigh and superpus**es


Note: I hope my translation is not too vulgar but it's literal
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napierNightmareSanyoMutekathyJoeKesterSɦαŁ
Title translations may be necessary in some cases, but sometimes I wonder what the hell went on translator's mind making such horrible and ridiculos choices.
These are Italian titles.
Note: some translations in English are literal, so they could make no much sense.

This one is divided into sections:
- If...
- It's all about love
- Family portraits
- Don't!
- The more the merrier
- Casting a shadow



WEIRD TRANSLATIONS... ENGLISH TO ENGLISH

WEIRD TRANSLATIONS... MISCELLANEOUS

You'll find other translations in:
MY FAVORITE TV SHOWS - CHILDHOOD
MY FAVORITE TV SHOWS - TEEN YEARS

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