Moviewatcher122's 2017 Film Diary: Jan & Feb

January 1



"He is always very depressed. I think that if he'd been a successful criminal, he would have felt better. You know, he never made the 'ten most wanted' list. It's very unfair voting; it's who you know."

Wanted to start the year off with something funny, so I went with this one and it turned out to be hilarious. It's a really well-done spoof of crime documentaries and it's consistently funny from start to finish. It does have some minor imperfections like pacing issues and stuff like that, but it is one of his first films, so things like that are to be expected and it doesn't really matter when this movie had me laughing throughout the whole thing.

January 2



"What do you know about love? What could you possibly know about love You know, I'm sick and tired of men using love as if it's some disease you just catch. Love should have brought your ass home last night."

This is one of Eddie Murphy's more forgotten comedies and after watching it, I can understand why. Eddie Murphy's screen presence is fine and it did have its share of funny jokes, but most of it was just painfully average. It's not one of his worst films by any means, but there's nothing in it that really stands out and the only thing it's worthy of is being watched once and even that's only for the die-hard Eddie Murphy fans.

January 3

Re-watch



"I can't believe we're paying to see something we get on TV for free! If you ask me, everybody in this theater is a giant sucker! Especially you!"

It had been quite a while since I last watched this, so I decided to revisit it for the umpteenth time. This is a hilarious movie that captures what made The Simpsons so great. A lot of the jokes still make me laugh out loud to this day and this is coming from someone who's watched this at least 20 times. It's the perfect Simpsons movie that has the right amount of humor and emotion and it's one I'll keep watching for years to come.

January 6



"To those who threaten our freedom: America will rise up. And make no mistake; we will find you, and we will destroy you."

As unnecessary of a sequel this was, it turned out to be decent. As far as plot goes it's nothing special and it does take quite a while for this movie to get going, but as a sequel to Olympus Has Fallen it works. It definitely delivers when it comes to action and Gerard Butler reprises his role well enough. It also did something that I really liked and that is the way they handled the death of Angela Bassett's character. I thought her character was mostly bland throughout both of these films, but they actually managed to make me care about a character that didn't have much depth to begin with. While I do think Olympus Has Fallen is the better movie overall, this one was still entertaining in it's own right. It delivers what you'd expect from a sequel to Olympus and it's definitely worth watching if you enjoyed the first one.

January 9



"I went to penitentiary one time, not me personally, but me and Gene went there for a movie. Arizona State Penitentiary - population: 90-percent Black people. But there are no Black people in Arizona. They have to bus motherfuckers in!"

This is pretty embarrassing since I had seen many stand-up specials *ahem* prior to this one, but I've never watched any of Richard Pryor's stand-up. I've seen quite a few movies with him, but never got around to watching any of his specials for some reason. I decided to start with this one because it's his most iconic show and because the other one is considered to be his best, I want to save that one for last. As expected this special had me dying of laughter and his brand of humor still holds up to this day. This was also at the time after his drug incident which I kind of feel bad about since he was probably pressured to joke about it, but at the same time he did it in such a comical way that it's hard not to find funny. If that's not a sign of a legendary comedian then I don't know what is.

January 10



"It's pretty strange that we keep running into each other."
"Maybe it means something."
"I doubt it."
"Yeah, I didn't think so."

Well, there was a lot of hype surrounding this movie and because this was the only movie playing in town that I had any interest in seeing, I took the chance and saw it in theatres. After seeing it, I thought it was kind of overrated. Like, it's good, but it's not that good. On a technical level this film is very impressive. They do a good job with making it look like a Classic Hollywood musical and the cinematography is really astonishing. The acting is also good with Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling delivering solid performances and even the story had some sort of charm.

The problem is, I don't think it's that exceptional as a musical. The songs were fine, but none of them had me moving my feet or got stuck in my head. Besides that, while the story does have it's charm, it is also very predictable and it does really drag on at times. Hell, there was one part of this movie that was so slow that it had me in la la land. I wasn't that engaged in it and because of that it was so close to being an average movie. I still do think there is quite a bit to admire and I don't regret seeing it in theatres, but I didn't fall in love with this movie like so many people did and I don't think it's anywhere near as good as the hype would have you believe.

January 13



"Martha, at some point you're just going to have to start recognizing these red flags."
"Why? Do you think he's evil? What if he is? You know when I was little, I had this fantasy that I was dating Lex Luthor."
"From Superman? Wasn't he, like, a genius? Your guy's more like a sexy Rainman or something."

This has it's similarities to Max Landis' other movie American Ultra, but I think that this is American Ultra done right. All that movie had going for it were the action scenes, but this is more or less what I was expecting that other movie to be. It's a fun movie with a good amount of humor, strong chemistry between Sam Rockwell and Anna Kendrick and there were a few subversive moments that I liked. There were also some other good characters here, the best one being RZA as Shotgun Steve who stole every scene he was in. So, overall this was a decent film and it's worth checking out regardless of what you thought of American Ultra.

January 15



"Hey, hey, hey! If it ain't Carole - the Head Motherfucker!"

Another great film from Ralph Bakshi and might be my favorite thing from him so far. It's a crazy animated movie that might be even more outlandish than Fritz the Cat. It has a lot of bizarre imagery and a lot of great ideas as well. It may not be the best story-wise, but the overall ride is what makes it great and it's one that every animation buff should experience.

January 17



"That is so fetch!"
"Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!"

Wow... this is the movie I thought I'd never see. Or at the very least, the movie I'd have to be talked into watching if I admitted to someone that I haven't seen it, but because it was on Netflix, I was like "What the hell, might as well give in."

I had been avoiding this movie for the longest time for a few reasons. There was one point where I just wanted to avoid anything Lindsay Lohan was in although that's kind of half-true to this day, but the main reason was I thought it would be incredibly stupid and overrated. Whenever I seen or heard someone quote this movie I didn't find it funny. Because of that I was turned off from seeing it and there was also the fact that Tina Fey is involved with this who I normally don't think is very funny.

With all these things working against this movie, I am shocked that I liked this movie as much as I did. The biggest surprise being how funny it actually is. It was consistently hilarious with so many great lines and the ones that were quoted just didn't sound funny out of context. Not only was it funny, but it had quite a few elements that I connected to. The satire this movie was going for was not only truthful, but the way they presented it was fantastic. Most of the characters in this movie were relatable in one way or another and even the cast members I'm not a fan of like Tina Fey or Lindsay Lohan do a great job here. It's a movie that gets what high school was like and there were even a couple moments I found to be genuinely heartwarming. Out of all the high school movies to come out after the 80's, this one is probably the closest to capturing the heart of them.

Yeah, I didn't think it was possible, but I love this movie. I didn't even go into this one expecting to like it, but went out of it becoming one of the many fans of the movie. Sorry to be unoriginal, but sometimes that's what you gotta do.

January 18



"How many of you have self-help books? Okay, that's your first problem. You can't help yourself, because your *self* sucks!"

If movies were people, School for Scoundrels would be the average joe that doesn't have many interesting qualities. If you looked up generic in the dictionary, a picture of Jon Heder from this movie would show up. If you asked a store clerk "What movie would you recommend as background noise?" that clerk would hand you a copy of this... for free.

I think I've made my point about how formulaic this movie is, but this is something that could've work. Billy Bob Thorton's character did have some funny lines every now and this could've been a funny movie. Instead they just give Jon Heder a guy with no personality the leading role and the writer was just like "I was going to make a funny movie, but I don't feel like putting in the effort today." School for Scoundrels is a steaming pile of meh. Thank you for your time.

January 22



Well, since Rampage is one of Uwe Boll's better movies, it would be hard for him to mess up something as simple as that and fortunately he doesn't do that. It does continue off the story of the first one well enough and Brendan Fletcher sells the leading role just as well as he did before. While this sequel doesn't feel completely necessary at times as the story does drag on and it's not quite as disturbing as the previous film, it's still effective enough. Most of the cast does a good job with the exception of Uwe Boll's cameo. Not only because it's so blatantly obvious that it's him, but because he's impossible to take seriously as an actor. There's a bit of social commentary here or there, but I wouldn't say it completely works. It's not bad or anything, but I'm not going to give Boll too much credit by making it out to be smarter than it actually is. It may not be that good as a sequel, but it's decent in it's own right.

January 27



"The way I hear it, Skip doesn't have any friends, just guys he fucks over. So what did he do to you? Why don't you go to the police?"
"I'm my own police."

This is a pretty standard, but still enjoyable crime film. Harvey Keitel is great as usual and while it is mostly a typical heist story, I was still kind of invested in it. Even though I'm struggling to think of things to say about this, it's a movie I enjoyed watching this one time. Even if I'll forget about it later on.

January 29



"Man thinks they are each alone in this world. It is not true. You are all connected. One act can one day affect all."

After watching this, I fail to see what's wrong with it. In fact, I think this might be Shyamalan's most misunderstood film. Now, when this came out, it was unlike anything he's done before. There's no big twist at the end or anything, but instead it's about the story and the characters. M. Night Shyamalan tried to do his own version of a fairy tale story and I think he succeeded for the most part. There are a couple moments that were a little ridiculous, but I was fascinated with the story and where it was going to go. Paul Giamatti delivers an expectedly great performance and Bryce Dallas Howard is also good as well. Even Shyamalan himself plays a strong character and is more than believable here. While this is far from being a perfect movie, I do think it is better than people give it credit for. It's a different kind of movie from him and I might even rank it above Signs in terms of quality.

January 31



"The broken are the more evolved."

Went into this one expecting it to be relatively good, but I ended up being surprised with what I got. First, I gotta talk about James McAvoy's performance. He gives it his all in this film, especially that one scene where he's acting as two personalities at once. That takes a lot of talent to pull off and James McAvoy was the perfect guy for the role. Besides that though, this movie is actually really effective in terms of suspense. The overall tone is very claustrophobic and it actually managed to scare me at times. Also, the twist which I'm not going to give away is his most effective twist in years.

This is a near-perfect film and I'd even call it M. Night Shymalan's best movie since Unbreakable. While The Visit was something I just found to be an above-average found footage film, Split feels like his true return to form. As much as I like the majority of his movies and really only hated The Last Airbender, (I even liked After Earth.) this truly feels like something he could've made after The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable. It was just a great movie that exceeded my expectations and it definitely lives up to the hype.

February 1



"Look, I don't know what the hell your point is, but..."
"The point is of no return and you've reached it!"

This was a movie I wasn't really feeling at first and wasn't sure if it lived up to it's cult status, but it wasn't too long before it started to grow on me. It was a very groundbreaking movie for its time and it's still fun to watch to this day. It has great strong female characters and clever dialogue, but I also appreciate the impact this had on cinema. It's a film that combines things like camp and a solid script very well and it's just a classic of 60's cinema.

February 2



"You have to remember this is an investment, Patty. You can't afford to do everything at once."
"It's not just an investment - it's our home."

This was a pretty dull one to sit through. It started off promising and the last 10 minutes were good, but the majority of it felt like a chore to watch. This is something you'd go into expecting a thriller, but no it's more of a drama and not a very interesting one. I get that this one was trying to make a point with it's concept and everything, but minus Michael Keaton as the antagonist, I didn't really find the main characters interesting enough to care about what was happening. It's not a terrible movie as the acting and directing is competent enough and kept me from giving it a lower rating, but there was so little in it that was worthwhile and it's a movie that you're better off skipping, but I won't stop you from seeing it if you want to.

February 3



"I'm going to be a great film star! That is, if booze and sex don't get me first."

This was a great musical. The cinematography was fantastic and the songs were catchy, but it also had a strong story and fully fleshed out characters. Even though musicals are far from my favorite genre, I do know a good one when I see it and this is a classic of the genre.

February 6



"I saw a movie once, where a group of people were trapped in an ice station by a carrot from another planet."

Going into this one I knew it was going to be an Alien rip-off, but I felt like watching a cheesy sci-fi film, so I went with this one and it only half delivered. It had some fun moments, but the overall thing was very inconsistent. Like I didn't feel it was fully dedicated to being an Alien rip-off. There were some moments of nothing interesting happening and I didn't really care about what was going on. If this movie fully embraced the fact that it was an Alien rip-off this would've been a fun guilty pleasure flick, but as it stands it's just average.

February 8



"You got a gun on you, old man?"
"You're damn right I got a gun on me. Y'all going to steal my gun too?"
"We ain't stealing from you. We're stealing from the bank."

This movie is an instant classic, I'm already calling it right now. It's a great modern-day western mixed with a bank heist film, but it's also a powerful story with great characters, excellent dialogue and there's some light moments of humorous lines. I was highly invested in the journey of these two guys and in some regards it reminded me of something The Coen Brothers would make. Like I said it's a modern-day classic and I encourage anyone who hasn't seen it to do so as soon as possible.

February 11



"Do you seriously think you can win?"
"Troy, we live in a world where there's a Big Momma's House *3*. I don't think I have a chance in hell."

Oddly enough, the controversy of the Netflix teaser for the series based on this film is what got me to check it out. For a movie that had a lot going for it, I was kind of underwhelmed as I didn't like it as much as I probably should've. Its biggest strength is the characters. Pretty much every character has their share of flaws and no one is really seen as the good guy and not many movies I've seen have pulled it off this well. I also liked how subtle the satire was with it showing both sides of today's culture and leaves it up to the viewer's interpretation. With that said though, I think the biggest strength of Dear White People is also one of it's weaknesses. Because all of the characters are flawed, I couldn't really latch on to any of them. That may have been the point, but I'm not so sure.

I also didn't really think this movie was that funny. It did have its moments, but I think it could've been funnier in my opinion. Also, I felt like it dragged on at times as there were a couple of moments where I felt bored and didn't really care about what's going on. With all said and done though, this is a movie that you're guaranteed to have a different opinion on. You may love it, you may hate it or you might be in the middle like me. This is something that is meant to be discussed with a friend, but because I watched this particular film by myself, I'm reduced to sharing my thoughts about it here. So, check this one out if you haven't already because even though I didn't think it was particularly great, I still strongly recommend it.

February 12



"My name is Richard Grayson. The other kids call me Dick."
"Well, children can be cruel."

I had high hopes for this after seeing trailers for it and it delivered exactly what I expected from it. It's a more comedic take on Batman and it works exceptionally well. The jokes are timed perfectly and a lot of them are very clever. There's also a wide variety of different kinds of jokes and there are quite a few of them that kids aren't going to get. It was made in a way that can appeal to the whole family and especially fans of Batman. Even fans of the 60's TV show will be entertained as there's quite a few references to that show every now and then.

The casting was also great with Will Arnett being the perfect guy to play a comedic Batman, Zach Galifinakis as The Joker and Michael Cera as Robin... yes, Robin is actually pretty likeable in this movie. I'm generally not a fan of Robin as a character, but he has been used well before and this is the case here. Beyond the humorous aspects though, this movie does have a few heartwarming moments although that's not too surprising if you've seen The Lego Movie. A lot of care went into this and it works as a fresh take on the superhero and as spiritual successor to The Lego Movie. I wouldn't as go as far to say it's better than that movie, but I still loved it and I'd probably go out of my way to see it in theatres again. (Mainly because I'm near-sighted, so there were some instances I couldn't see things as clearly as I wanted to. I'm seeing future Lego movies as close as I can next time.)

February 14



"How did you know i'd come home with you?"
"Let's just say... I can read eyes."

Continuing the tradition of Valentines Day by intentionally picking a cheesy action movie to watch and I think this might be the best bad movie I've ever seen. It's the only movie I can think of that I truly think is so bad it's good. There's so many instances of poorly-written dialogue, bad acting, choppy editing, badly choreographed action scenes that look like they were made on a budget of a ham sandwich and quite a few gratuitous sex scenes, but all of these problems is what makes this movie so fun. There were so many moments here that had me laughing out loud and I just had fun with this movie even though it might've not been for the reasons the makers of this film intended. With that being said though, I've seen a good number of soulless action movies with a higher budget than this one and they weren't even remotely fun to watch. At least with this film you can tell they had fun making it and that's more than I can say for something like Transformers 2 or A Good Day to Die Hard which was only made for money. It's easily the best worst movie I've ever seen and it now replaces Plan 9 From Outer Space as the best so bad it's good film.

February 17



"Know what? She's kinda like Mother Teresa"
"Yeah, but with way better tits."

I had this movie on my radar for quite a while mainly because of Jack Black's involvement, but I never had a strong urge to see it until I saw an internet friend talking positively about it and I thought I would give it a watch and holy crap is this movie underrated. I get that humor is subjective and all, but I still think this movie deserves more praise than it has gotten over the years. The humor is pretty stupid and juvenile, but it still had me laughing pretty hard and there were so many funny lines that stuck with me hours after watching it. Jack Black easily steals the show here with him delivering the best lines, but the rest of the cast is pretty good as well. Steve Zahn also had some really funny lines as well and Jason Biggs is decent as the straight man. Also R. Lee Ermey is pretty funny in this movie and rivals Jack Black in terms of screen time. When his character was first introduced I thought he was just going to be the typical role that he's usually type-casted in, but here he plays an exaggerated version of that character and is actually pretty wimpy. Then there's Amanda Peet as the manipulative girlfriend and while I hated her character, she does a good job of making you feel that way.

The plot is also executed well with being pretty light-hearted for a somewhat dark premise and while this is a romantic comedy in certain aspects, the comedy comes first which is great because I hate it when some of these types of films stop being funny around the middle just for some forced melodrama. Here the laughs are consistent from start to finish and it doesn't stop until the end. This movie's sense of humor won't appeal to everybody, but if you like movies with dumb humor, then you might like this one and it's definitely worth it if you're a Jack Black fan.

February 18



"If I saw a competitor drowning, I'd shove a hose down his throat."

I was able to catch this one at a local cinema and I gotta say that I think I like this movie more than most people seem to. I mean, it has gotten good reviews and all, but I was really engrossed into this thing. I can't talk about this movie without talking about Michael Keaton's performance. He was outstanding as Ray Kroc and there were times where I forgot I was watching Michael Keaton portray him. He made this movie and it probably wouldn't have been as great if it wasn't for him. Besides that though I really liked how they told his story. Ray Kroc was an awful greedy bastard and this film portrays him as such. I was aware that he wasn't a good person before this movie, but I found it really interesting to see his character progress the more this movie went on. Also the supporting cast was pretty good as well. Nick Offerman and John Carroll Lynch were great as the McDonald brothers and I didn't even know Nick Offerman was one of them until I got home.

This was a great biopic and it's a shame that it went under the radar by the Oscars. I can understand why it didn't make categories such as Best Picture and Best Screenplay, but why in the love of Al Pacino's only Oscar did Michael Keaton not get nominated for Best Actor. This is blasphemy and a sin and I will not support the academy of idiots with their award shows and their Jimmy Kimmel and they can take their La La Land and shove it up their ass!

OK, maybe that was a tad bit too far. I should just do what I normally do and take the Oscars with a pound of salt.

February 19



"God, you people work just like the mob! There's no difference."
"Oh, there's a big difference, Mrs. de Marco. The mob is run by murdering, thieving, lying, cheating psychopaths. We work for the President of the United States of America."

Married to the Mob is not as funny or interesting as it could've been. It has some funny lines every now and then and the cast does a fine job with the material they are given, but I was sitting there waiting for something really funny to happen and that happened like maybe once or twice. There's nothing really wrong with this movie, but when you have a premise like this, it could've been a comedic goldmine. This movie does have a bit of a fanbase, but the people who say this is a really funny movie, I'm just wondering if I saw the same movie or not. It's just an OK disposable comedy with some good lines, but I think it could've been better.

February 20



"What? No!"

Well, because this one the only major Shymalan film that I haven't seen yet, I decided to give in and check it out. OK, I agree with the general consensus on this one, but my thoughts on it may or may not be a little different. This entire movie is so ridiculous to a point where it's funny most of the time. Like, how does one make a movie with a scenario like this and intend it to be seen as something serious? Also this is a pure M. Night Shymalan film. It has all the tropes from his previous work and all the things that he's infamous for. It's almost borderline self-parody in how many Shyamalan tropes it's able to fit in. And the acting, oh dear lord the acting. It's like everyone involved in this movie had their emotions sucked away from Steven Seagal vampires and M. Night Shymalan just sat there and watched instead of doing something about it. Then there's Mark Wahlberg who's performance sticks out like a sore thumb. Every line he delivers is so hilariously bad and he just sounds shocked whenever he speaks. Also, that classic Shymalan twist? They reveal it 40 minutes into the damn thing. That's right, the twist is revealed when the movie is barely half over. That and the twist is on the same level as the one in Signs.

As terrible as this movie is, it's an interesting kind of bad and this is the kind of bad movie I'd watch again. I kind of want to study it and go back in time, jump into M. Night Shymalan's mind and see what he was thinking during the writing process and overall production of this film.

February 24



"Freeze!"
"Do you realize how inappropriate that word is? Do I look frozen to you?"
"You look like shit to me!"

This is another one of your standard Van Damme action vehicles except with some sci-fi elements added in. In fact, this one tries to be Van Damme's Terminator, but it's nowhere near as good as that movie. It does have a decent premise and all and this could've been executed into something really fun, but like I said it's standard Van Damme fare. It does have its interesting moments here and there and I was never really bored while watching it, but this movie hasn't aged well. Some of the special effects look really bad especially one instance of CGI that looks so cheesy. As it is, it's not bad as a turn off your brain and enjoy type of film, but at the same time I think Van Damme has better movies than this.

February 28



"Isn't it true that an accident in your west coast nuclear plant could stimulate seismic activity in the San Andreas fault, which could destroy most of southern California?"
"I think you'd have to define "destroy"

This was a charming little comedy. It had a down to earth (No pun or reference to that godawful Chris Rock remake intended.) premise and there were some good laughs here and there. I wouldn't go as far as to call it great and the original Heaven Can Wait is probably better, but I really enjoyed it and it was a good enough note to end this month on.