British Comedy: French & Saunders

Years: 1987-2004
Broadcaster: BBC
Genre: Sketch
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders,
Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins, Richard Curtis
Stars: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
Episodes: 39 (exc specials)
Episode Average: 6.949

BEST EPISODES:
Misery (1993), Loveheart (1996)

SERIES ONE

(1987)
6 episodes
Series Score: 40
Episode Average: 6.67
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Originally broadcast: 9 March 1987
Directed by: Geoff Posner
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Beauty and the Beast --- Introduction --- The Dressing Room
Miss!: Classroom --- Goldilocks & the Three Bears
The Make-Up Room --- Wardrobe --- Alison Moyet
Extras: Sports Report --- Thank You & Goodnight
Coming Soon on TV: Eastenders, Ramba and Dawn Dares

MUSICAL GUEST:
Alison Moyet: Ordinary Girl

"There's no E on my typewriter. It should be Everton."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

TRICKS

Originally broadcast: 16 March 1987
Directed by: Kevin Bishop
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Introduction --- The Make-Up Room --- The Dressing Room
It's Great --- The Bangles --- The Surprise Box
Extras: Advert --- Impressions --- Sixteen Going On Seventeen
Avengers 4 --- Water Tank

"Some slippers. These are in case your ankles swell. And also this. They always give you this free. I think it's a night bra. I'm not sure."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

JULIE WALTERS

Originally broadcast: 23 March 1987
Directed by: Kevin Bishop
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Introduction --- The Make-Up Room --- Fat Old Men: Page 3
The Dressing Room --- Guest Trailer --- Spirit-O-Rama
Raw Sex Complaint --- Synchronised Swimming
Julie T. Wallace Interview

"Now, there's a few things I must say before the Gypsy blesses us with her totally genuine presence. First of all, the 50p that you have paid includes a mini-carton of Um Bongo and a Garibaldi biscuit. We shall partake of these after the spirits have visited us."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

RATINGS

Originally broadcast: 30 March 1987
Directed by: Kevin Bishop
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Introduction --- The Dressing Room --- Raw Sex in the Toilet
The Menopazzi Sisters --- Grabbing a BAFTA --- Bravo Bravo
Lord Grade --- The Windmills of Your Mind --- Extras: Opera
Thank You & Goodnight

"You know, BAFTAs! The Big Awesome... BAF... Foto Television Awards!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

BLUE PETER

Originally broadcast: 6 April 1987
Directed by: Geoff Posner
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Cancelled --- The Blue Peter Studio --- Fashion 87
Queue Raw Sex --- Cut to VT --- Teen Talk: Changes
Extras: War Film --- Further Confessions of Chesty French
End Credits --- Queen of the Box

MUSICAL GUEST:
Jools Holland

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean anything. Double D means double dumpy. That's all that means. Dumpy."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

KILLING TIME

Originally broadcast: 13 April 1987
Directed by: Kevin Bishop
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Introduction --- The Dressing Room --- The Make-Up Room
Wardrobe --- Esperanto --- College Induction --- Eye of the Tiger
Cassie's Dance Audition --- In Control --- Thank You & Goodbye

MUSICAL GUEST:
Joan Armatrading: Killing Time

"Give me the chance in my woolly jazz pants,
To dance and sing you a song,
Give me the chance, just one little glance,
My legs are now slender and strong."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

SERIES TWO

(1988)
6 episodes
Series Score: 46
Episode Average: 7.67
Perfect 10's: 1

S2E1

DECADES

Originally broadcast: 4 March 1988
Directed by: Kevin Bishop
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Jen's House: Locked Out --- Dancing the '50s --- Hamburgers
Dancing the '60s --- Teen Talk: Contraception --- Kinky Boots
Advertisement for Raw Sex --- Jen's House: Singing
Arts Review: Muriel and Maddy --- Dancing the '70s

MUSICAL GUEST:
Squeeze: 853-5937

"Well, it's like a huge slinky and it's got barbed wire on it. And they squish it all up and stuff it up inside your bladder. And it hooks on and it stops babies. Only drawback is you can get out of control going up and down the stairs, that's all."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

CABLE TV

Originally broadcast: 11 March 1988
Directed by: Kevin Bishop
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Breakfast Television --- Fat Old Men: Miss World
Celebrity Joke --- Peters and Lee --- Chambermaids
Extras: Music Video --- Debate Show --- Ballet Dancers
Alexandra Palace

"We're miserable. That's the problem, you see, Madonna. Normally we do characters. But if you want us to just be miserable, we'll just be miserable."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

REMOVALS

Originally broadcast: 18 March 1988
Directed by: Kevin Bishop
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Removals: Bigger Van --- Fred & Friends --- Removals: Loading
Fur --- Body Builders --- Removals: The Man is Back
Planning for a Holiday --- The Farton Sisters Show
Removals: If a Job's Worth Doing

MUSICAL GUEST:
Kirsty MacColl: Trains and Boats and Planes

"I know! I know! But it's much smaller and it'll fit into these tea chests, you see."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

LANGUAGES

Originally broadcast: 25 March 1988
Directed by: Kevin Bishop
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Network --- Pet Shop Boys --- Miss! School Trip
The London Experience --- Fat Old Men: Pub
Jen's House: Learning Italian --- Wagon Wheel
Jen's House Learning French --- Playground Insults
Jen's House: Learning Chinese --- Feeline Cat Food

"'Cause you had a great big poo stripe on your pants."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

POTHOLING

Originally broadcast: 8 April 1988
Directed by: Kevin Bishop
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
The Hole --- Young Sportswomen of the Year
The King and I --- Guide Rope --- Raw Sex: Stylophone
Dinner Party Breakdown --- Emergency Flares

MUSICAL GUEST:
The Proclaimers: Make My Heart Fly

"I just don't see how it can still be frozen after six hours in the Aga bottom oven, do you?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

NOSE

Originally broadcast: 15 April 1988
Directed by: Kevin Bishop
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Pick a Nose --- Guide to a Romantic Life --- Raw Sex: Mambo Italiano
New Nose --- Extras: BBC Dressing Room --- The Result
That's Hollywood --- Thank You, Goodbye & Memories

"It may be Rock, it may be Cary,
I really don't care who to marry,
It may be Frank or Charles Manson,
I would wed a tomato with pants on."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES THREE

(1990)
7 episodes
Series Score: 46
Episode Average: 6.57
Perfect 10's: 0

S3E1

THE SOUND OF MUSIC

Originally broadcast: 15 March 1990
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
The Sound of Music: I Have Confidence --- Jen's House: Stand-ins
Star Test: Sonia --- Fat Aristocrats: Finger --- The Royal Expert
ABBA --- Fat Aristocrats: Pheasants --- Out & About: Star Pets
The Sound of Music: I Am French and You Are Saunders

MUSICAL GUEST:
Kirsty MacColl: Fifteen Minutes

"I was sitting on my shooting stick after that. Top of the shooting stick came off, the whole bloody stick went up my jacksie."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E2

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY DAWN?

Originally broadcast: 22 March 1990
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Whatever Happened to Baby Dawn?: In the Beginning
Star Test: Bros --- The Financial Expert
Whatever Happened to Baby Dawn?: Order --- Fat Aristocrats: Wedding
Womanly World --- Whatever Happened to Baby Dawn?: Juke Box Jury

MUSICAL GUEST:
Kirsty MacColl: Something Stupid

"Do you know, I can't even decide how to go downstairs. I can't decide whether to hop or skip or jump. What do you think, squashy legs? Oh, I know! I'm going to cancan."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E3

THE EXORCIST

Originally broadcast: 29 March 1990
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
The Exorcist: Pea Soup --- Watch Out
The Exorcist: Did You Enjoy That? --- The She-Rappers
The Hollywood Expert --- Squeezy Rider
The Exorcist: Diagnosis --- Book Ideas
The Exorcist: The Last Shot

MUSICAL GUEST:
Kirsty MacColl: Ride

"Your mother's a biology teacher in Cheshire."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E4

DANGEROUS LIAISONS

Originally broadcast: 5 April 1990
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Dangerous Liaisons: That Woman --- Star Test: Tanita
Dangerous Liaisons: Orgy --- Rude Radio Host
Dangerous Liaisons: Watched --- The Something Expert
BBC MCMLXXXIX: Andy Warhol --- Birds of a Feather
Dangerous Liaisons: Do You Remember?

"Yes. Not porcupine. Sorry. Concubine. That's what I'm trying to say."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E5

GONE WITH THE WIND

Originally broadcast: 12 April 1990
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Gone with the Wind: Dressing --- Prison Visit: Sing a Song
Star Test: Wendy James --- Prison Visit: Play a Game
Gone with the Wind: Padding --- Raw Sex with Mrs. Dobson
Prison Visit: I Can't Take It Anymore
Gone with the Wind: Kiss Me --- The Cleaning Ladies: Cottage
Gone with the Wind: I'll Never Be Poor Again

MUSICAL GUEST:
Kirsty MacColl: Don't Come the Cowboy with Me Sonny Jim

"Right. Contestant, you have a limited amount of time to make a seven-letter word from these letters."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E6

GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES

Originally broadcast: 19 April 1990
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: French & Saunders are a Girl's Best Friend
What the Hell is Going On? --- 100 Easy Tunes for a Guitar
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: Happy Birthday
Live Laughter at the Comedy Cavern --- Teens in the Pub
Modern Mother and Daughter
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: French & Saunders are a Girl's Best Friend

MUSICAL GUEST:
Kirsty MacColl: Still Life

"Don't call me 'My Lord', call me 'My Lady', you bastard."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E7

CASTING AGENCY

Originally broadcast: 26 April 1990
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, Richard Curtis

SKETCHES:
Jazz & Tap --- Casting Agency: The Potato Movie
Is He Looking at Me Now? --- Casting Agency: Petite Actress
Opera Classics --- Casting Agency: Jane Asher --- ABBA

MUSICAL GUEST:
Sarah Walker: I Should Be So Lucky

"Oh by the way, Janey Asher rang up. She refuses to oil up for Emmanuelle."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SERIES FOUR

(1993)
7 episodes
Series Score: 57
Episode Average: 8.14
Perfect 10's: 2

S4E1

MISERY

Originally broadcast: 18 February 1993
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Misery: No.1 Fan --- Marlene
I've Got to Dash --- Misery: Chiropractor
Ken & Duane The Sound of Music: Conch Shell and Twig
Dickens Daughters --- Fat Old Men: BBC Mail
Jen's House: New Kitchen --- Pretty Dawn
Misery: Oh, Come On!

"Yes, well, you're going to have to go back to doing what you do best. Writing comedy with both of us in that just isn't that funny."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E2

THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

Originally broadcast: 25 February 1993
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
The Silence of the Lambs: Scripts --- Jen's House: Package
Performance Art --- The Silence of the Lambs: Jacket
Ken & Duane The Sound of Music: Violin --- The Mamas & the Papas
Jen's House: Pregnant --- Jackie & Joan: Lucky Bitches
London in Olde Elizabethan Shakespearean Times: Health
Loving the Mirror --- The Silence of the Lambs: Phone Call

"Mmm. You wear Pretty Peach Skin Cream. And sometimes, Mum Roll-On Deodorant. But not today, unfortunately."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E3

THE SEVENTH SEAL

Originally broadcast: 4 March 1993
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
The Seventh Seal: Madness --- House of Love
Jen's House: Sexually Exhausted --- Party Planners
The Seventh Seal: Tea --- Ken & Duane The Sound of Music: Rock & Roll
Guns N' Roses --- Wedding Talk --- Fat Old Men: Parking
The Seventh Seal: Chess

"Listen, I am trying to cope with the presence of God and the universal human experience, and I haven't had a cup of tea yet."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E4

IN BED WITH FRENCH & SAUNDERS

Originally broadcast: 11 March 1993
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
In Bed with French & Saunders: Soup --- Jen's House: Jerry Hall
In Bed with French & Saunders: Bra --- Mail Order
Ken & Duane The Sound of Music: Managers --- Fleetwood Mac
In Bed with French & Saunders: Jane Asher --- Jen's House: Fatwa
In Bed with French & Saunders: Madonna --- Speech
Bar Nibbles --- In Bed with French & Saunders: Truth or Dare
Jen's House: Walls

"Yes, my last-minute gift cupboard for those unexpected visits and forgotten birthdays is still teeming. I mean, if you ever need an amaryllis bulb kit and a frog flowerpot, I'm your girl."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E5

FRENCH & SAUNDERS: THE SPECIAL EDITION

Originally broadcast: 18 March 1993
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Alien --- London in Olde Elizabethan Shakespearean Times: Theatre
All That Jazz --- Jen's House: Fresheners
Ken & Duane The Sound of Music: Rappers --- Dana --- Mary Hopkin
Jen's House: Little Something --- Show Jumpers
Jen's House: Alien Pods

"Can we please stop running up tunnels now? It really hurts my bosoms."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E6

THELMA & LOUISE

Originally broadcast: 25 March 1993
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Thelma & Louise: Freezing --- Jen's House: Audition
Flappers --- Thelma & Louise: Pulled Over --- Annie Lennox
Dancing Academy --- Thelma & Louise: Keep On Going

"What time did Darcey Bustop say she was getting here, Dawn?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E7

THE HOUSE OF IDIOT

Originally broadcast: 1 April 1993
Directed by: Bob Spiers
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
The House of Idiot: Buttons --- Teenage Diaries: Yachtswoman
Ken & Duane The Sound of Music: Disc Jockeys --- Pan's People
The House of Idiot: Not Funny and Not Clever --- Gladiators

"It's like looking in a mirror for me. Isn't is for you?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

SERIES FIVE

(1996)
7 episodes
Series Score: 48
Episode Average: 6.86
Perfect 10's: 1

S5E1

BAYWATCH

Originally broadcast: 4 January 1996
Directed by: John Birkin
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Baywatch: Not a Hero --- Jen's House: Pocahontas
Come Dancing --- Hair & Make-Up: Dusty Springfield
The Job --- Baywatch: Eat --- The Generation Gap

"They'll shoot you down, guv, boss, ma'am, Helen."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E2

LOVEHEART

Originally broadcast: 11 January 1996
Directed by: John Birkin
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders,
Mel Giedroyc (Additional), Sue Perkins (Additional)

SKETCHES:
Loveheart: Rob Roy --- Jen's House: Jackie O --- Bjork
Loveheart: Maid Marian --- Kool Kids: Stoned
The Gulf --- Loveheart: The Battle

"Ah, Rob Roy! Ah, yes, I've heard of you. I've seen your film."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E3

FRANCO E SANDRO

Originally broadcast: 18 January 1996
Directed by: John Birkin
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders,
Mel Giedroyc (Additional), Sue Perkins (Additional)

SKETCHES:
Franco e Sandro: Madonna --- Wimbledon 95 --- The Power
Jen's House: Wrinkly Asshole --- Franco e Sandro: Um Bongi
Telling It: Cream Teas --- The Raspberries
Franco e Sandro: For How Long?

"Yeah. I've been eating buckets of pasta but I'm still exhausted."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E4

BATMAN

Originally broadcast: 25 January 1996
Directed by: John Birkin
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
Batman: To The Batcave --- Jen's House: Sophia Loren
London in Olde Elizabethan Shakespearean Times: Cooking
Hair & Make-Up: Kate Moss
London in Olde Elizabethan Shakespearean Times: Greensleeves
Parents Will Be Parents --- Batman Ker-Krankies

"Holy melted codpiece, my old bat friend. I think I've got problems, too."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E5

PULP FICTION

Originally broadcast: 1 February 1996
Directed by: John Birkin
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders,
Mel Giedroyc (Additional), Sue Perkins (Additional)

SKETCHES:
Pulp Fiction: Guarding Lulu --- Celine Dion --- Pulp Fiction: Bored
Georgy Girl --- Doctor's Waiting Room: Illnesses
Flamenco Dancing --- School Magazine Interview
Pulp Fiction: Well!

"I'm gonna clean my half of Lulu and the room with 100% bleach."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E6

THE QUICK AND THE DEAD

Originally broadcast: 8 February 1996
Directed by: John Birkin
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders,
Mel Giedroyc (Additional), Sue Perkins (Additional)

SKETCHES:
The Quick and the Dead: Colt 45 --- Double Wedding
Slow Dance --- The Take Off --- Doctor's Waiting Room: Holiday
Behind the Scenes: A Classic in the Making

"Arsey, won't you come in?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E7

DR. QUIMN, MAD WOMAN

Originally broadcast: 29 February 1996
Directed by: John Birkin
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders,
Mel Giedroyc (Additional), Sue Perkins (Additional)

SKETCHES:
Dr. Quimn, Mad Woman: Operation --- Jen's House: Adverts
Star Crossed Lovers: Ken & Em --- Telling It: Theatre
Star Crossed Lovers: David & Claudia --- Dr. Quimn, Mad Woman: Birth
Kool Kids: Rave --- Art Gallery --- Dr. Quimn, Mad Woman: Poverty

"I had to eat, like, all my hallelujah-sanitary drugs. Hal... Halic... Halusanitary drugs. Halicinary drugs."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 3

SERIES SIX

(2004)
6 episodes
Series Score: 34
Episode Average: 5.67
Perfect 10's: 0

S6E1

BACK AT THE BBC

Originally broadcast: 15 October 2004
Directed by: Ed Bye
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
BBC: Meeting --- Jodie & Jordan Solve Your Problems: Mortgages
BBC: Series of Six --- Unconvincing Teenager: Plans
BBC: Stay at Home --- The Medical --- BBC: Script
Film Commentary: Cold Turkey --- BBC Type Up --- Nun Knickers

"Excellent. Now I'm just going to hold my balls while you cough."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E2

THREE-LETTER WORDS

Originally broadcast: 22 October 2004
Directed by: Ed Bye
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
BBC: Chocolate Limes --- Jen's Home: Jen! Jen!
BBC: Madonna --- Rural Diversification: Prickly Pear Park
BBC: Perversion --- Cher --- BBC: Inspiration
Catherine Spartacus-Zeta-Douglas-Jones: Frocks
BBC: Eve Pollard
Rural Diversification: Baby

"Oh, there's Michael again. I'm late for afternoon shagging sessions. I bet you think he's using a broomstick to bang on that floor."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E3

THE QUEEN

Originally broadcast: 29 October 2004
Directed by: Ed Bye
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
BBC: Mark Lamarr --- Unconvincing Teenager: You Wouldn't Understand
BBC: Kill Bill --- Catherine Spartacus-Zeta-Douglas-Jones: First Lady
BBC: Royal Invite --- Stylists to the Old Masters: The Birth of Venus
BBC: Nose Hair --- Hopefully Haunted... almost live
BBC: Apology --- GMTV News

"Could you tidy up my growler while you're down there?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E4

OFFERS

Originally broadcast: 5 November 2004
Directed by: Ed Bye
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
BBC: Norah Jones --- Jen's House: Madonna --- BBC: Loser
Jodie & Jordan Solve Your Problems: Spectacles
BBC: Game Show --- Stylists to the Old Masters: Dejeuner sur l'herbe
BBC: Offers --- New Drama: Lear --- BBC: The Two Ronnies
Chris Martin's Mum: Christening --- BBC: Gift

"Those poor Geldof girls, what were they called? What was it, darling? Tinkerbell or Tixylix or something."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E5

MINUTES

Originally broadcast: 12 November 2004
Directed by: Ed Bye
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
BBC: Celebrity Fit Farm --- Jen's House: Dawny Scissorhands
BBC: Lunch --- Shell Wives Association --- BBC: Minutes
Jodie & Jordan Solve Your Problems: Potato --- BBC: Division
Catherine Spartacus-Zeta-Douglas-Jones: Roundabouts
DVD Extras: Troy --- BBC: Anastacia

MUSICAL GUEST:
Anastacia: I'm Outta Love

"No, no, no. I'm not going anywhere near Camilla again. I tell you, she blunted my scissors last time. She's a veritable thicket of a woman."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E6

AFTER SHOW PARTY

Originally broadcast: 26 November 2004
Directed by: Ed Bye
Written by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders

SKETCHES:
BBC: Dressing Rooms --- Unconvincing Teenager: Tattoo
BBC: Running Late --- Florida --- BBC: Rehearsal
Chris Martin's Mum: Christmas --- BBC: Warm-Up
Jen's House: Giant Baby --- BBC: After Show Party
Cockle Washers

"Your family! Your family! Your family! Your family!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

DAWN ROMA FRENCH

11 October 1957
SOME OF HER CHARACTERS:

as...

TERRI TALL

in... Fashion 87 (S1E5)

as...

POLLY FARTON

in... The Farton Sisters (S2E3)

as...

BETTE DAVIS / BABY JANE HUDSON

in... Whatever Happened to Baby Dawn? (S3E2)

as...

SIOBHAN FAHEY

in... Dickens Daughters (S4E1)

as...

BJORK

in... Bjork (S5E2)

as...

DIANE KRUGER / HELEN OF TROY

in... DVD Extras: Troy (S6E5)

JENNIFER JANE SAUNDERS

6 July 1958
SOME OF HER CHARACTERS:

as...

ANN BRYANT

in... Avengers 4 (S1E2)

as...

LIZA MINNELLI / SALLY BOWLES

in... That's Hollywood (S2E6)

as...

VIVIEN LEIGH / SCARLETT O'HARA

in... Gone With the Wind (S3E5)

as...

AXL ROSE

in... Guns N' Roses (S4E1)

as...

LIAM NEESON / ROB ROY

in... Loveheart: Rob Roy (S5E2)

as...

NICOLE KIDMAN / ADA MONROE

in... Cold Turkey (S6E1)

ROWLAND
RIVRON

28* episodes (1987-1998)
in... Breakfast Television (S2E2)

*including specials

SIMON
BRINT

29* episodes (1987-1998)
in... Advertisement for Raw Sex (S2E1)

*including specials

HARRIET
THORPE

8* episodes (1987-2003)
in... Cassie's Dance Audition (S1E6)

*including specials

PATRICK
BARLOW

8* episodes (1990-2003)
in... The House of Idiot: Buttons (S4E7)

*including specials

KEVIN
ALLEN

7* episodes (1990-1996)
in... Baywatch: Not a Hero (S5E1)

*including specials

KATHY
BURKE

7* episodes (1988-1999)
in... Alien (S4E5)

*including specials

LIZA
TARBUCK

6 episodes (2004)
in... BBC: Kill Bill (S6E3)

BETTY
MARSDEN

5 episodes (1987)
in... Esperanto (S1E6)

Pictured with The Hot Hoofers

JANETTE
KRANKIE

5* episodes (1993-2005)
in... Batman: To The Batcave (S5E4)

*including specials

LORNA
BROWN

5 episodes (2004)
in... BBC: Apology (S6E3)

BRENDA
COWLING

5 episodes (2004)
in... BBC: Mark Lamarr (S6E3)

LENNY
HENRY

4* episodes (1988-1996)
in... The Take Off (S5E6)

*including voice only

KATE
MOSS

4 episodes (1996)
in... Hair & Make-Up: Kate Moss (S5E4)

SUE
PERKINS

4 episodes (1996)
in... Dr. Quimn, Mad Woman: Operation (S5E7)

MEL
GIEDROYC

4 episodes (1996)
in... Dr. Quimn, Mad Woman: Poverty (S5E7)

MAVIS
NICHOLSON

3* episodes (1988-1995)
in... Body Builders (S2E3)

*including specials

ADE
EDMONDSON

3* episodes (1988-1998)
in... Dinner Party Breakdown (S2E5)

*including specials

IAN
TOUGH

3* episodes (1993-1996)
in... Batman: Ker-Krankies (S5E4)

*including specials

PATSY
KENSIT

3 episodes (1996)
in... Batman: To The Batcave (S5E4)

SEAN
CHAPMAN

3 episodes (1994-2002)
in... Behind the Scenes:
A Classic in the Making (S5E6)

*including specials

MAGGIE
STEED

3 episodes (1998-2004)
in... Cold Turkey (S6E1)

*including specials

JOAN
BAKEWELL

2 episodes (1988-1990)
in... Arts Review: Muriel and Maddy
(S2E1)

HELEN
LEDERER

2* episodes (1988-1998)
in... The Farton Sisters (S2E3)

*including specials

JANE
ASHER

2 episodes (1990-1993)
in... Casting Agency: Jane Asher (S3E6)

LISA
COLEMAN

2 episodes (1993-1996)
in... Behind the Scenes:
A Classic in the Making (S5E6)

ED
BISHOP

2 episodes (1988-1993)
in... The Silence of the Lambs: Scripts (S4E2)

ROY
HUDD

2* episodes (1993-1995)
in... The Silence of the Lambs: Scripts (S4E2)

*including specials

BERNIE
CLIFTON

2* episodes (1993-1995)
in... The Silence of the Lambs: Scripts (S4E2)

*including specials

HELEN
MIRREN

2 episodes (1996-1999)
in... The Job (S5E1)

*including specials

GARY
WALDHORN

2 episodes (1996-1999)
in... Behind the Scenes:
A Classic in the Making (S5E6)

*including specials

DARREN
DAY

2 episodes (2004)
in... Cold Turkey (S6E1)

STEVE
RIDER

1 episode (1987)
in... Extras: Sports Report (S1E1)

ROY
CASTLE

1 episode (1987)
in... Sixteen Going On Seventeen (S1E2)

JULIE T.
WALLACE

1 episode (1987)
in... The Make-Up Room (S1E3)

HILDA
FENEMORE

1 episode (1987)
in... Spirit-O-Rama (S1E3)

MICHAEL
GRADE

1 episode (1987)
in... Lord Grade (S1E4)

PAMELA
ARMSTRONG

1 episode (1987)
in... Fashion 87 (S1E5)

RIK
MAYALL

1 episode (1987)
in... Further Confessions of
Chesty French (S1E5)

STEVEN
O'DONNELL

1 episodes (1988)
in... Extras: Music Video (S2E2)