The Horror Movie Cliches (spoilers)

Cars are incredibly reliable machines – except in movies! You are almost assured of a breakdown once the action starts. This can have particularly bad consequences for the good guys.

The victims run their little ass off until they hit empty while the killer just strides along like it’s nothing more than a brisk walk.

Unless your child looks like he/she belongs in a Gerber or Band-Aid commercial, be weary. Kids always serve multiple functions: to look/act creepy as hell, to see the ghost inhabiting your house or to be the ghost haunting your house.

How well do you girls really know your significant other? Could that loving man you call your soul mate be susceptible to having a psychotic break over the fact his mom abandoned him?

Having no reception is annoying. We all know this because it’s happened to everyone. However, answering the phone to a creeper or the phone mysteriously killing someone on the line is another subject.

Why do you think they have so many sequels?! It’s because the protagonist makes the mistake of not actually making sure said killer is dead before walking away. This usually ends with a mysterious disappearance of the killer, or a surprise lunge attack from the killer. Either way, if you see it, you know there’s a second movie on the way.

Why this ever seems like a good idea to people, I’ll never understand. This is something that’s subliminally taught to us as children, thanks to a little show called “Scooby Doo”. This cartoon shows us if we split up, we’ll figure it out and meet up at the end unmarked. However, horror films teach us that this will only get us killed faster.

Since the success of Fight Club (it wasn’t the first movie to do this, but it started the new wave of it) there have been a slew of movies where we go on this massive journey with the main character with a clear antagonist and in the last few moments, we realize that the antagonist never existed and it was the main character the whole time!