Movies watched in January 2013

Well started off pretty awful with very bland jokes and it feels like just a bunch of skits thrown together to make one movie. A lot of the jokes are really stale. The actors are terrible and there definitely is no coherent plot. This movie is literally just a parody mash up of good films filled to the brim with foolish jokes. Even the timeline of the film is all screwed up the main actress states she was seven when a certain event happened in 2011 and the film takes place in 2012. Seriously what was the point in making this. I highly recommend avoiding this at all costs.

When most of the population of Earth is infected with a virus and transformed into flesh eaters and blood drinking creatures, a group of hunters led by Tao chases the vampire zombies to eliminate them.

Although Steven Seagal is a terrible actor it was fun to see him in a different movie genre. The script and acting isn't very good and it kind of reminds me of a gory sort of I Am Legend copycat. There is a lot of gore though and Keith David those are about the only fun things about this movie. Couldn't even determine what the creatures were because they get killed like regular people.

It has been five years since the disappearance of Katie and Hunter, and a suburban family witness strange events in their neighborhood when a woman and a mysterious child move in.

So some of the cast from the other movies return for this unnecessary sequel to a dead franchise. I am watching it to see if it will surprise me like the 3rd one did. I hated the first 2 and the 3rd is a favorite of mine, but this has the worst rating I have seen so far. So far the editing is really annoying cutting off in mid-sentence makes me feel like I keep missing something. The new characters are just annoying and bland except for Hunter who is just kinda creepy. It was hard to sit through this entire thing without turning it off. I recommend avoiding this one. It was awful and boring. The ending made absolutely no sense....

A 26-chapter anthology that showcases death in all its vicious wonder and brutal beauty.

Segment A: An unusual little segment. Unsure how I felt about it. The reason for it made no since so I would have to give it a 3/10.

Segment B: The second was a bit better and kind of funny in my opinion. Nice little twist. 6/10

Segment C: Very strange made no sense why it was happening. Didn't like it very much. 2/10

Segment D: Pretty raw and ruthless. Definitely not for animal lovers. Loved the ending. Pretty creative. 8/10

Segment E: Pretty funny, but definitely low budget. Creepy spiders! 5/10

Segment F: Haha, the Japanese and their humor. Nice ass, but that started to get a bit uncomfortable to watch. 2/10

Segment G: I don't get it. What the hell happened? No. 0/10

Segment H: Strange film. Good for people with fetish for furries. Pretty damn weird. 1/10

Segment I: I am not too sure exactly what happened. Good acting, but the execution of whatever was supposed to be told was a bit lackluster. 4/10

Segment J: Strange. 3/10

Segment K: Strange, but kinda funny in a gross way. Cartoons these days are definitely different. Also the segment name seemed odd to me. 3/10

Segment L: Well it was weird to begin with and then went too far. Interesting death scenes though. Definitely not a segment I would ever watch again. 1/10

Segment M: Didn't get it until I saw the title. Which makes it way more disturbing and sick. Also pretty low budget. 3/10

Segment N: Haha the bird was cute and funny. Lesson to learn never teach a bird how to speak if your gonna make some mistakes. 8/10

Segment O: Pretty interesting visually. Pretty different. 7/10

Segment P: A pretty sad and dark story. The ending was bittersweet. I hated the price that was paid. It was also pretty interesting that there was no dialogue. 6/10

Segment Q: This one was pretty good. I liked how it was done. I liked how they parodied the thought that went behind making this anthology. Pretty funny too. 10/10

Segment R: Very colorful and different. I don't understand what exactly happened though. Like why was he like that or what exactly was the reason for what was going on. 4/10

Segment S: Okay so the acting was pretty bad in this one. Loved the twist and the ending though. 7/10

Segment T: A clay-motion picture that is pretty odd. It is pretty disturbing and the end is messed up. 6/10

Segment U: First person view of a character. I liked this one. It was pretty unique and effective. 8/10

Segment V: An interesting Dystopian future tale. It has some pretty good action and is a bit messed up. Crazy ending. 7/10

Segment W: Pretty trippy. The acting was pretty awful, but hey Zombies! 3/10

Segment X: Wow that was disturbing and sad. It was also pretty gross. 8/10

Segment Y: Very creepy and awkward. 2/10

Segment Z: Strange one. Lots of nudity in this segment. Also a lot of strange/gross bits. 4/10

Altogether this movie is an average of 4 stars. A lot of terrible segments mixed in with some actual creativity. Some of these aren't worth it unless your into some very obscene things and some are just pretty good. Enter at your own risk.

After the birth of Renesmee, the Cullens gather other vampire clans in order to protect the child from a false allegation that puts the family in front of the Volturi.

The acting still feels like a bad soap opera. I wonder if any of the actors actually take these movies seriously or if they all know these movies are one big joke of filmmaking. Yes there are good actors in this who I like including Billy Burke, Jackson Rathbone, Joe Anderson, Kellan Lutz, and Dakota Fanning. The battle scene at the end was the best part of the entire series, but after that the ending was blah.

A homicide investigator digs deeper into a case involving a trained military sniper who shot five random victims.

A good cast which includes Tom Cruise, Richard Jenkins, Rosamund Pike, and Robert Duvall. Well Jack Reacher is pretty boring and the action reminds of a pathetic Jason Bourne wannabe. The acting isn't very good and the script is pretty dry. The twists were decent enough, but the story just didn't catch my fancy. I suggest you pass this up rather than waste money on it. A bit too long and drawn out. Couldn't really stay focused on the story I found myself constantly drifting my thoughts to other things. Just too lackluster for my liking.

A tough, street-smart private eye is hired by the FBI to go undercover in a college sorority.

Not a big fan of Miley. She has a nice body, but she has no talent and has a awkward baby looking face. Anyways I do appreciate some of the cast in this such as Mike O'Malley, Autumn Reeser, and Jeremy Piven, but that is all. Only a little funny here and there. Nice twist and decent ending.

When her child goes missing, a mother looks to unravel the legend of the Tall Man, an entity who allegedly abducts children.

Quite a bit different than I was expecting. Interesting twists and a decent plot. The acting was pretty good. Not sure how I feel about the ending or even understand the why of the movie. It was okay.

A group of slackers who are living for free in a rock star’s mansion find their sweet lives threatened when the musician decides to sell his pad.

An actually semi decent cast of some well known low grade movie actors. A few of the characters are obnoxious while others are actually funny. A bit short for a movie. Some scenes were pretty funny, but too much crammed into a short period of time.

A French journalist in Afghanistan is kidnapped by the Taliban.

Diane Kruger and Djimon Hounsou lead the show in this action movie. The plot is kind of bland and none of the action sees bring anything new to the table. Some of the death scenes were unexpected or unnecessary. Also had the feeling of The Grey and The Way Back. Could have been so much better. Djimon is the best part of this movie.

The story of the love affair between FDR and his distant cousin Margaret Stuckley, centered around the weekend in 1939 when the King and Queen of the United Kingdom visited upstate New York.

Bill Murray, Olivia Williams, and Laura Linney are the most well known cast members of this period piece. This movie is a bit of a let down. It took itself way too seriously and tried a bit too hard. Also it was quite a bit slow. Refer to Anna Karenina for a much better story of love affairs.

Blah Blah blah another aliens invade earth movie with Sean Pertwee and Jean-Claude Van Damme attached. Also the two main actors are JCVD's daughter Bianca Bree and Pierce Brosnan's son Sean Brosnan. Nothing original here and for Sean it is disappointing to see that acting doesn't run in the family. Also a funny easter egg are the posters of Airborne another sad attempt at filmmaking from this director. Nice way to take away from the heat of a sex scene montage by having a man throwing up. Not really. Some of the editing is a bit awkward and confusing. Sean Brosnan and Sean Pertwee are probably the best of the performances in this everyone else is mediocre. Some scenes reminded me alot of War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise. Some of the acting was so horrendous it made me laugh. Special effects were terrible and some of the twists were too easy. The movie had a lot of unnecessary flash forwards/flashbacks. The ending was a bit unexpected though. Will not be watching this again.

In small-town Texas, the local mortician strikes up a friendship with a wealthy widow, though when he kills her, he goes to great lengths to create the illusion that she's alive.

An unusual movie choice for Jack Black. The acting was good and I don't know whether I felt bad for Bernie or not. No one deserves to be killed, but no one deserves to be treated like crap either. If your looking for a laugh out loud comedy this is not that, this is a dark comedy.

Convinced that a CCN cameraman is her true love, an eccentric crossword puzzler trails him as he travels all over the country, hoping to convince him that they belong together.

Okay most of the movie is a bit ridiculous, but there are some actually good scenes. Bradley Cooper, Keith David, and DJ Qualls are some of my favorite actors. It wasn't great, but it wasn't that bad. It had some heart in it.

A spin-off sequel to the popular Japanese thriller "Death Note". This time it focuses on the character "L."

So a bit different than I expected. With a few brief cameos from some other characters in the series. I love L's character and the appearance of one of the Shinigami. I won't say who. A bit slow for my liking, but a good plot none the less. Good ending.

Frank Dux has spent most his life being trained by Tanaka to participate in the Kumite, the ultimate martial arts tournament, where participants are seriously injured, even killed.

The acting is pretty awful, but then again it is a JCVD film so that is expected. The fight scenes were pretty fun to watch and it had a huge ensemble of interesting fighters. The finale was pretty good. Also didn't know it was actually based on true events.

A young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance; little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-yielding killer is part of the reward.

A direct sequel to the very first movie that disregards all the other sequels and remakes. Decently cast. I love the appearance of Bill Moseley as a cameo. Tania Raymonde and Alexandra Daddario are gorgeous. Surprisingly the best performance is Trey Songz in his feature film debut. Pretty good plot in my opinion and some good gore. Good ending and a bit different than the usual Chainsaw ending.

A pair of aging con men try to get the old gang back together for one last hurrah before one of the guys takes his last assignment -- to kill his comrade.

A great cast and some pretty funny dialogue. Loved the characters and the story was pretty good. Some funny scenes and good acting. Didn't have much action as it was more about the relationship between Al Pacino and Christopher Walken. Some decent twists and an okay ending.

On a business trip to New Orleans, a damaged man seeks salvation by caring for a wayward young woman.

James Gandolfini is the reason I decided to check this out. The acting was pretty good minus Kristen Stewart who is as boring and useless as wet toilet paper. The story was pretty cute and heartwarming with some sad bits here and there. Decent Ending.

Set in the 1960s, three sisters form girl group and soon become Motown sensations, but fame becomes a challenge as the close-knit family begins to fall apart.

I don't think they should have cast Jordin Sparks as the lead in her first movie she hasn't built up enough credit or acting to be a lead yet. My favorite actors in this were Mike Epps who usually plays a dorky funny guy, Whitney Houston in her final role, and Omari Hardwick as Levi. Everyone else was decent and did get better as the movie progressed. The songs weren't enough to catch my attention except for Whitney Houston and the last song Jordin Sparks sings. I do have to say Jordin Sparks, Tika Sumpter, Carmen Ejogo are definitely jaw dropping beauties and have some sexy dance sequences.

Former getaway driver Charlie Bronson jeopardizes his Witness Protection Plan identity in order to help his girlfriend get to Los Angeles. The feds and Charlie's former gang chase them on the road.

Dax Shepard, Bradley Cooper, Kristen Bell, Tom Arnold, Jason Bateman, and more well known stars make this indie film worth the watch. I love the quirkiness of each of the characters and the plot is fun. Good for a one time watch.

A group of people find themselves trapped in a storage facility. Soon they realise that they are not alone.

I have enjoyed Noel Clarke in Doctor Who, Doghouse, and Centurion so I decided to check this out. The first half is very slow and boring the only decent actor being Noel Clarke everyone else makes it feel like a soap opera that needs to be canceled. Although the scene with the lighter was interesting. The Second half is when it actually gets a little interesting. It had a decent enough ending.

A graphic designer's enviable life slides into despair when his girlfriend breaks up with him. Well let us check this out. See if it is worth viewing shall we.

The characters are quirky and the plot is fairly interesting. Some pretty funny scenes throughout. A pretty decent cast including Charlie Sheen, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Patricia Arquette, and Stephen Dorff. Many interesting scenes, but I am not entirely sure how I feel about it.

A group of elite soldiers sent to infiltrate and extract the lead science team from Pine Gap, Australia's top secret underground military compound, after it comes under attack from unknown forces. The mission is compromised when they encounter a young woman with no memory of who she is or how she came to be there. As they try to escape, the group quickly discovers all is not as it seems and the facility has become a testing ground for something far more sinister.

From that it doesn't really sound original does it? Well to me it had a strong resemblance to Dead Space and Doom. Although it did have its own original twists here and there and some decent acting at most. Not extremely bloody, but does contain some scenes of gore. Mediocre plot at best. Could have been better.

After what seems like a family massacre a woman who works for welfare discovers ghosts at the home of a new family that lives there.

So this movie is a bit all over the place with telling how things happened and you can't really pinpoint the time of the film. It is low budget, but a bit creepy. If you like Asian ghost stories then you will like it. It wasn't as good as I thought it would be.

Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman are still fighting to get home to their beloved Big Apple. Their journey takes them through Europe where they find the perfect cover: a traveling circus, which they reinvent - Madagascar style.

I actually really enjoyed this as the third theatrical installment of the Central Park Zoo animals. Again the penguins are the best and the new circus animals were pretty cool. TOo bad they didn't let the old lady return and the new bad guy was a bit creepy. Overall I say it matches the other 2 and could lead to another.

Los Angeles, 1949: A secret crew of police officers led by two determined sergeants work together in an effort to take down the ruthless mob king Mickey Cohen who runs the city.

Sean Penn looked odd to me. I don't know if it is purposeful make up or CGI or something, but it looks odd. Great cast and some good performances. Good fight scenes. Not the most original or best gangster film, but it is worth at least a one time watch.

The animals try to fly back to New York City, but crash-land on an African wildlife refuge, where Alex is reunited with his parents.

Actually pretty enjoyable. Funny scenes throughout especially with the penguins and old lady. Good to see the back story of Alex's character. Fun new characters and all in all a sweet movie.

A High school loser pays a cheerleader to pose as his girlfriend so he can be considered cool.

I like stories like this. Some funny scenes and decent acting. Some scenes were a bit too silly. The ending was nice. Not much to write home about.

In order to achieve their dream of opening a recording studio, two friends must first win their city's dance contest; a fierce competition that pits them against a group of tough street dancers.

I like the soundtrack brings back some memories. The dance choreography was pretty good. The acting wasn't that good. The plot was decent and I enjoyed it. Not great, but not bad. Dance movies are fun.

If BURN-E (a welding robot) had known how much trouble he'd be caused by WALL-E's pursuit of EVE, then he'd have taken the day off.

A spin off short of the popular WALL-E movie. Pretty cute and adorable. Also the antics made me chuckle. It was a nice little 7 mins.

Seven friends from Sacramento California all decide to go on a documented trip to Las Vegas. All seems fun until they hit a detour/road block.

Not your typical found footage film. It mixes found footage with surrounding regular filming style. There can be such thing as too nice. The first kill caught me off guard and the acting isn't that good, but it is entertaining for a one time watch. The ending had some good twists. Kind of a mixture of The Devil's Rejects, Saw, and Vacancy. I did like the reasoning behind the terrorizing it was something new for me.

Renton, deeply immersed in the Edinburgh drug scene, tries to clean up and get out, despite the allure of the drugs and influence of friends.

A very trippy movie with good performances especially from Robert Carlyle and the young Ewan McGregor. The movie is well directed and has some pretty interesting cinematography. Very interesting movie kept me watching until the end.

Set in the near future, an ex-jewel thief receives a gift from his son: a robot butler programmed to look after him. But soon the two companions try their luck as a heist team.

Great cast, funny moments, and good twists. Very well done and the robot was the best. This story really hits home for me dealing with a loved one who has dementia. I thought this really captured the essence of the sickness. Bittersweet ending.

A drama centered around three women: A 50-year-old woman, the daughter she gave up for adoption 35 years ago, and an African American woman looking to adopt a child of her own.

A great ensemble cast with a nice setup for the finale. Every big moment gave me chills. The acting was great and the plot was on point. A movie that makes you think about the impact of adoption. Also a bit of a tearjerker and bittersweet. Nice bit of twist in too.

When the violent gangster James "Animal" Allen is arrested and sent to prison, his teenage son Darius is left with his mother, but she is assassinated and the boy is raised alone on the streets, becoming a criminal.

A great cast, but poor direction and what seems like a pretty low budget. The plot is pretty interesting and the actors kept me wanting to see how it all played out in the end. Pretty good and unexpected ending.

An urban office worker finds that paper airplanes are instrumental in meeting a girl in ways he never expected.

A cute story before Wreck-It Ralph. No need for dialogue when you are good enough to show the impact of a story through the actions. It is a heartwarming and funny tale of love.

Tragedy strikes a married couple on vacation in the Moroccan desert, touching off an interlocking story involving four different families.

Has a lot of great actors which include Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett. A few scenes can be startling and upsetting given the elements of some of them. It is very difficult to watch without understanding any of the languages involved if there are no subtitles. For me I just have to watch what is going on. Although most of what is going on can sort of be pulled from each scene. Pretty good movie for a one time watch. I like how the four families are connected.

Longfellow Deeds, a simple-hearted Vermont tuba player, inherits a fortune and has to contend with opportunist city slickers.

So definitely better than the Mr. Deeds remake. Some pretty funny scenes and good acting, but a bit dragged out. There are some interesting characters and the court room scene is probably my favorite part.

A young playboy who learns he has one month until he becomes infertile sets out to procreate as much as possible.

I always enjoy Ryan Kwanten's work this didn't disappoint. It was a bit different, but actually kind of good. I enjoyed the characters and the plot. Sort of an open-ended kind of ending. Not much else to say

In a dystopic future Australia, a vicious biker gang murder a cop's family and make his fight with them personal.

So I finally get the chance to check out this classic dystopian future based movie. For Mel Gibson's first movie as the lead role and only his second film to be credited for he was really entertaining. The movie reminds me of a mix between Judge Dredd, Punisher, and Death Race 2000. A little bit dragged on here and there, but nothing to complain about. A decent revenge movie.

Out of enthusiasm, a Militia soldier abandons his platoon and decides to fight for the cause of the Revolution. His Lieutenant and the rest of the crew look for him during the confused night of 22-23 December 1989. Romania finally got rid of the communist dictatorship through this time.

Wow I was shocked and looking like a deer in the headlights within the first 3 minutes. An unexpected great start to a film I knew nothing about until today. Definitely learned something new. I enjoy historical films like this. The camerawork is a bit amateur but not bad. Good movie.

The police force of a remote Midwestern town search for a killer Santa Claus who is picking off citizens on Christmas Eve.

A remake of Silent Night, Deadly Night. The more notable stars are Malcolm McDowell, Jaime King, and Donal Logue. Wow that one little girl was extremely unlikeable. The gore was plenty, but most of the kills were lacking. A lot of the younger actors were a bit stale. Not extremely bad, but not good either. The final half hour is pretty good though. Some good twists. The garbage day reference was a nice touch also.

Four Aboriginal women from Australia become singers for American Marines in 1968 Vietnam with the help of a down on his luck Irish musician.

Chris O'Dowd is becoming one of my favorite comedy actors. A pretty ok plot with some cute scenes and the girls have nice voices. Yes it has many scenes of singing, but it isn't your typical musical. This was an unexpected gem of a movie.

A man becomes successful after getting a book published that he didn't write. He must now deal with the consequences.

This movie has a pretty great cast and a good plot. I like the way this movie was written very interesting. Very well acted Jeremy Irons and Bradley Cooper are amazing. Not all love stories can be happy. The ending makes you think.

When 30-something Jesse returns to his alma mater for a professor's retirement party, he falls for Zibby, a college student, and is faced with a powerful attraction that springs up between them.

I have to say Zac Efron is definitely a scene stealer in a different role than usual. Elizabeth Olsen also proves she has better acting skills than her older sisters. Richard Jenkins always adds a good edge to films he stars in. Definitely some quirky characters in this enjoyable little movie. Josh Radnor is such an intelligent director/writer with this thought provoking film. Very cute ending.

An interesting spin on the romance/comedy genre where two people are best friends even through divorce. I actually enjoyed Andy Samberg in a new kind of role. Elijah Wood's character was hilariously awkward in a good way. Pretty good film with a bittersweet ending. Not your typical Rom/Com.

A movie about an affair in the 19th century between Anna Karenina and Count Vronsky. I like the transitioning of the scenes very nice touch. The cinematography is very beautiful too. Very interesting dance sequence choreography. Jude Law, Keira Knightley, and Aaron Johnson are exceptional in this period piece. Not the best or worst movie of 2012 but it was good.

A good movie about the hunt for Osama Bin Laden over a course of time. Several known actors play bit parts and Jessica Chastain has a strong presence in this movie. Not a lot of action sequences as it is more about the behind the scenes of war. If your looking for lots of violence this movie isn't for you. A couple of torture scenes, explosions, and a few firefights will catch your attention. The ending was alright. It was good but in my opinion could have been better.

The original short film that inspired the 2013 remake. This very short film is actually pretty good for if your looking for a quick scare. Although I am glad they are making it into a feature length film because 3 minutes doesn't do this little gem much justice.