Games with notable flaws

Flaw(s): The narrative. The link to the events in Chrono Trigger. The massive flood of pointless characters. The dialects.

In all seriousness I don't believe I could have started with a more controversial choice. Now I know some fans will defend this thing until they are blue in the face... but to me Chrono Cross utterly fails when it comes to being a sequel to Chrono Trigger. Yes, I know they explain why the El Nido Archipelago wasn't in the world of Chrono Trigger back in 1995 (the reason is very contrived) but it all means little to me with how shoehorned the link between the games ultimately is. Also, I know that the link is severely compromised by the fact that Radical Dreamers was never released outside of Japan; yet this just proves that game's attempt at continuing Chrono Trigger's story was bungled from the very beginning. In all honesty, did Chrono Trigger even need a sequel? Seems like the kind of game that would have been better left off as a standalone title in my opinion. However, I will say that Chrono Cross (ironically) made me appreciate the original game more in retrospect which is a pretty impressive feat as I was far from a fan despite the fact I can respect and see what people saw in it.

The second problem facing Chrono Cross is just how many pointless characters there are. I think the game pretty much admits to this by making the third character you start the game with a complete, random selection. Who's important in this game? Well there's Surge, Kid, Lynx and... well... that's all I think. Oh... how could I forget Harle. Actually, I kind of want to forget Harle. Man did that French dialect of hers get annoying. ALL the character dialects got annoying. Note to Sqaure, this is NOT how you make your characters memorable. It's somewhat sad that these four areas handicap Chrono Cross because as a game it is beautiful in almost every other respect: a great battle system that brilliantly balances magic and weapons, an excellent graphics engine and one hell of a soundtrack once again provided by Yasunori Mitsuda.

Original Posting: V1.00 (Updated V1.01)

Flaw: Retroactively/systematically DESTROYED by Crash Bandicoot 2 and 3.

In a certain sense I kind of have to go easy on this one... the original Crash Bandicoot was once a very good game. The bad part is time (in the form of Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back and Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped) have really taken a nail bat to this one. As unpoetic as this makes it sound, the original Crash just feels archaic these days and not in the "good" kind of way that can be charming and is approachable. No, Crash Bandicoot is more like a "why bother" kind of archaic. While anyone with an interest in games and the PlayStation might want to own the entire trilogy for their collection, I have to admit I feel kind of suckered having spent nearly $40 to get my hands on a near mint black boarder of this one. That'll teach me not to jump in before doing my homework... but if there is any consolation prize the game really shows of how much better the sequels really are.

Original Posting: V1.00 (Updated V1.01)

Flaw: Game is SAVAGELY ripped apart by its ruthless AI/realism.

Do you want to play an obscenely hard game? Then I would suggest picking up a copy of Destruction Derby 2 for the original PlayStation as soon as you can. Okay, despite the theatrics I actually like the core idea of this game a great deal, and it was one of the better early titles on the console despite being a sequel, but the logic and realism of Destruction Derby 2 actually fights against the concept of the of damn game. Given the game's title you'd think you'd be in for a good time, just wreckin' car upon car into flaming heaps of trash. Sounds like a great time... but little of that is likely to happen before your car dies from a broken radiator. Seriously, if you actually want to win an event or race it is actually best to avoid causing damage to your opponents since the damage adds up so quickly. Because of this you'll generally be relying on your opponents to fight one another which flies right in the face of what you want to do. Because of this it often makes me wonder how this game sold enough copies to became a greatest hit... my guess is there wasn't anything better or more balanced on the market at the time. My suggestion? I know it's not a racing game but buy the original Tomb Raider instead. It's a much better game and it probably costs even less than this does on the second hand market.

Original Posting: V1.00 (Updated V1.01)

Flaw(s): Third (fourth if you count the original Japanese WonderSawn) rendition of a game everyone's already played, some improvements betray the original design of the game, extras are insulting busywork.

Before I get too far into this one, I should probably clear the air and admit that I greatly enjoyed the second (and one of the more faithful renditions) of this game when it appeared in the Final Fantasy Origins package in 2003. While some will cry foul to such an opinion out of due respect, that release made me feel like there was next to no reason to ever play the game on the original Nintendo ever again. However, this being Square-Enix, we can't miss an opportunity to make a buck... so this take on Final Fantasy was released as part of Dawn of Souls package on the GBA (where the tiring Soul of Chaos dungeons were added) then it was released again on the PSP (where the ever so friendly Labyrinth of Time was added)... yay.

As you can probably tell from the last sentence I typed I don't care for the extras that were slapped onto what was once a good and basic game. It's just busywork for the sake of busywork and the rewards don't justify it when the most insipid methods of artificial lengthening are used to make it a reality. Additionally, while you would think it would be great idea to ditch the oppressive spell casting system for mages, nothing in the game has been re-calibrated to account for it, meaning the last bit of challenge the game could lay claim to is now non-existent. If you want a game that really celebrates Final Fantasy's twentieth anniversary pick up Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions instead as it is much more deserving.

Original Posting: V1.00 (Updated V1.01)

Flaw(s): Third (fourth if you count the original Japanese WonderSawn) rendition of a game everyone's already played, some extras suffer from flawed execution, story puts so much emphasis on near useless Ultima Spell, no matter how Square-Enix tries to fix it the underlying game will always be broken.

Unlike Final Fantasy above, I feel that Final Fantasy II has actually gotten better with each re-release. I can't say this changes my overall opinion of releasing these games again, but if you're going to do something that unimaginative for a franchise's anniversary at least a small positive managed to come out of the whole pathetic charade. That aside, the only thing you can't really do with a game like Final Fantasy II is fix the game's underlying problems. Why? Well, when you try and fix one of Final Fantasy II's "problems" you always end up giving birth to a new one since another element of the game is probably dependent on that original loophole still being there. The only real way one could win the war against such attrition is if they were to rebuild the game from the ground up... and the chances of that happening are even more unlikely than Final Fantasy VII being remade. Ooh, sick burn....

Final Fantasy II's other flaws aren't as obvious but don't escape detection. Probably the most hilarious of these is the amount of time the game's narrative spends on building up the Ultima spell as this great tool that will help you defeat the emperor. However, the game fails to mention how the damage for Ultima is derived and by the time you learn it's way too late to do anything about it. Still, I don't know why'd you bother with that when the Blood Sword(s) are deliciously broken and make most of the game an absolute breeze. Not nearly as damming but eerily similar is the amount of grinding Rebirth of Souls requires. This rather ingenious addition gives some of the game's lesser placeholder characters a second chance to shine yet the attention needed to give these characters the much needed boost they need later on can severely bog down the core experience, something that's a little ill-conceived for a Final Fantasy that lacks the clout of the more popular entries.

Original Posting: V1.00 (Updated V1.01)

Flaw(s): Too many to mention, but the big one is the game's somewhat suicidal attempt at offering a more retro-influenced experience in an age that's all about making role-playing games seem less traditional.

I kind of have to laugh when it comes to placing a game like The 4 Heroes of Light on this list. In many ways 4 Heroes has noble goals as a retro-inspired product (the game honestly reminds me of what Final Fantasy Mystic Quest tried to attempt back in 1992) but I can't help but feel this is not what most players were looking forward to in 2010. Now some may try and challenge such thought with a comparison to the DS versions of Final Fantasy III and Final Fantasy IV (which were also developed by Matrix Software) but those games had a much bigger draw with III never being released outside of Japan and IV's revered narrative. 4 Heroes doesn't have anything like that to fall back on... and when you combine that with a laundry list of features that many will consider to be shortcomings you can start to see how things shy away from being in its favor.

However, despite the fact I could easily concoct a list of negatives (trust me, I've already done it) I actually like The 4 Heroes of Light for some reason. I don't know if it is a indirect sense of pity or the fact that there is a deserving product below all those initial distractions. Which ever it is, this isn't the kind of game you're going to hit it off with immediately. It takes time to develop a taste for these kinds of oddities, products with good intentions but are ultimately a little misdirected. The amount of time I've but into this little J-RPG easily proves this and that it deserves more of chance than most are probably willing to extend to it.

Original Posting: V1.00 (Updated V1.01)

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Flaw(s): Rewriting and betraying so much material from the first game, having a lame-ass plot twist.

It seems more than appropriate to talk about Killer Instinct Gold and Killer Instinct in general now that the reboot has been announced and confirmed at this year's E3. Now beyond the fact that I'll never play the new KI since it's on Microsoft's insultingly "I have to check up on you and make sure you own your actually own your games" X-Box One (gee... I wonder what console THIS guy is supporting?) I have to go on record and say that the new game looks like crap. Sorry, yeah, I know I haven't played it but as I watched footage of that game I realized that bringing Killer Instinct back is far from what I ever really wanted. Yes, the first KI was a HUGE part of my childhood just like Mortal Kombat 3, and while the first game has aged much better than the aforementioned MK I really think it's one franchise that needs to stay dead. I'm not really sure why I feel that way, yet I don't think the current gaming scene is in need of Killer Instinct's presence. However, I do know a BIG part of it lies with the failure that was Killer Instinct 2 a.k.a. Killer Instinct Gold.

Why do I hate Killer Instinct Gold? Why did I trade the copy I purchased at a second hand store back in for something else? Well, Killer Instinct Gold's problem is just mindblowing as far as a fighter goes. After the first game Rare made so many changes to the remaining characters (by the way Rare, I'm still pissed you had Galcius killer off Cinder!) that they just don't feel like the characters I grew up with. I mean why did you have to go and screw around with simple things like Orchid's fireball? I mean Mortal Kombat NEVER screwed around with Scorpion's spear attack and you know why? Because you don't mess around with something that worked the first time out. Just is insulting is how they messed with the simple yet deep combo theory from the first game. Reading about the changes they made in a old Nintendo Power prior to KI2's arcade launch seemed awesome but actually playing it was another story. And speaking of "story," who was in charge of the narrative for this game? Getting thrown back in time due to the energies Eyedol released upon his defeat? That sounds like a bad fan fiction to me.

Despite the fact that its an uncommon cart these days, Killer Instinct Gold has nothing on the original game in my opinion. Sure, the original lost out on some things when the planned conversion to the "Ultra 64" didn't pan out and it was retrofitted for the Super Nintendo, but Rare did an excellent job of making it as painless as possible. Killer Instinct 2/Gold on the other hand just proves the series had outlived it's usefulness prior to the end of the millennium. Will the reboot help reverse such an opinion? Maybe... but I'm not really concerned about it.

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Flaw(s): Lack of concrete gameplay that can't back up the lack of a concrete narrative.

As a product from the seemingly unstoppable Squaresoft during what I feel was the golden age of the RPG, Legend of Mana is a game where my opinion has definitely evolved. Around the time of it's release Mana's combat seemed to be enough to keep it afloat as my younger self failed to care that the narrative was a patchwork of loosely connected stories. Fast forward a little more than a decade later and the opposite holds true. While I still like the game's combat I've come to realize how shallow it is, which lead me to analyze the story on a deeper level which of course lead me to discover Legend of Mana falls short in this area as well. The only element of Legend that is more or less timeless is Yoko Shimomura's music which is just excellent and makes me curse the fact I sold my copy of the soundtrack off. Someone remind me why I did that again?

Additionally, it should be said that Legend of Mana often reminds me of all the people who have tried to get me to play Secret of Mana over the years. I still haven't gotten around to that but the fate of Legend of Mana faced in my personal hierarchy makes me somewhat hesitant to jump right in and purchase it.

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Flaw(s): The dumbing down of children's video games - while not as harmful as the dumbing down of other things in our society - is still a road best not traveled.

Unlike the previous entries I'm going to be a bit blunt here: when and if I have children (a big if) they will not be playing watered down games that could be completed during a REM sleep cycle. Despite what other, older gamers have told me - that Lego games are fun - I have respectfully disagree. Okay, so the "respectful" part may have been thrown out the window with the first sentence of this paragraph but seriously parents, you should care what games your kids play. I know you don't care about the ESRB rating system if the amount of ten year olds playing Call of Duty is any indication, but a least give them a platformer that teaches something akin to critical thinking skills and has a penalty for dying. Give your kid a Mario game or (a good) Mega Man game like Mega Man X, not something that's a braindead extension of a now braindead intellectual property that is solely made to make money. Well, okay, I know all games are created with the intention of making money but seriously make them play something with some actual soul - not something that's has SOLD it's soul.

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Flaw(s): Every flaw in Mega Man II can be attributed to Capcom handing off the development of the game to a different team, one that didn't handle the other four games in the handheld series.

While the above makes it perfectly clear, this one is really on Capcom. While I'll be the first to admit that Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge had some issues (my God... that last level is INSANE!) the team that programmed that game had a much better idea of what constituted a Mega Man game than the team that did Mega Man II. Yes, Mega Man II is playable... but it is CLEARLY at the bottom of the pile if the game's value on the secondhand market is ANY indication. Additionally, anyone that has heard the sound programming on this sucker knows that it is horrendous. I know GameBoy music isn't the upper echelon of video game music but it takes some REAL talent (or the lack of it) to make an 8-bit sound processor sound this bad. Seriously, compare Mega Man II's music to Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge or Kirby's Dream Land and it's clear this game was in the wrong hands. The amazing thing? It still managed to sell enough to reach the Player's Choice sales designation. However, thankfully Capcom realized their folly despite the sales and the following three games were developed by the team that did the original.

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Flaw(s): Adding absolutely NOTHING to an aging series (yes, I know the previous games since 2 and 3 are just as guilty) during a banner year for the franchise, shoving the characters through the cuteness grinder and SOMEHOW selling more copies than the far superior Mega Man X4.

I know some reading are probably going to be displeased at me attacking Mega Man 8 for not evolving when the previous five or six entries in the series are guilty of the same thing (and actually I would LOVE to attack Mega Man 7 for everything I'm going to say here a bit more) but I think Mega Man 8 is the bigger fish to fry. Outside some horribly dubbed full-motion videos, what did Mega Man 8 REALLY add to the franchise? Again, that's probably a dumb question to ask considering what series we're talking about here but Mega Man 8 annoys me in other ways.

For one, HOW IN THE HELL did this OUSELL Mega Man X4? I want to know. Mega Man 8 is by-the-numbers Mega Man and Mega Man X4 let's you play as FREAKIN' ZERO! I mean come on... being able to play as Zero (which Inafune had intended from the BEGINNING) was a godsend for that game. That alone almost puts Mega Man X4 on par with the excellent SNES original. But no, I guess people want more "power shot" with their Mega Man. Speaking of "power shots" what is up with this obsession of SHOVING Mega Man through the "cuteness grinder" since Mega Man 7? Yes, I know I'm fighting a unwinnable fight by saying this considering the cuteness of most of the series artwork - and yes I know if I want a dash of seriousness I should play a Mega Man X game - but do we need to display this graphically in the game? It makes me appreciate the limits of the NES's graphical capabilities.

But the saddest thing about Mega Man 8 is the fact that Capcom was far was finished. At the time of it's release I figured Mega Man 7 and 8 would go down as the most disgustingly cute Mega Man games in existence. In 2006 I would be proved wrong with the release of Mega Man Powered Up. As Mega Man says at the end of Mega Man 7... "Damn."

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Flaw(s): One of the most uninviting Mega Man games in existence; porting the game to a less than accommodating handheld.

Yeah, I know I should probably be appreciative that we even got this game in the first place since it was originally relegated to its homeland of Japan, but to those that couldn't wait and played it through other, vastly superior methods already know that Mega Man & Bass isn't all it's cracked up to be. Almost as if it's trying to harken back to the original game, Mega Man & Bass' gameplay is just very uninviting and the quest to unlock all the data discs - whose information was severely compromised by the translation process due to space constraints - is nowhere near as much fun as you'd think it be. The game is further hindered by the way it is presented on the GameBoy Advance's screen where you don't have the field of view you would on the Super Famicom or a Mega Man Zero game. Because of this the game doesn't hold as much clout as you think it would, which is very telling since it allows the player to play as Bass.

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Flaw(s): Game went from concept to finished product in a mere six months, spent one week in localization (both of which show), adds nothing to the series narrative (which it recons) and is the poster child of corporate greed gone awry.

Oh my... where does one EVEN BEGIN with this one. Well, I guess I should mention that there are people that do see fit to defend this game and, well, there is just no way I can agree. The game is an ugly, psychotically rushed product that does irreparable harm not only to the games that proceeded it (poor Mega Man X5... it's not your fault!) but to the franchise in general. The game runs into even more trouble when it's story literally adds NOTHING to the Mega Man X mythos and, perhaps most damning, it hints at even more trouble ahead for an already troubled franchise. Outside of Akemi Kimura's (Naoto Tanaka's) music and the shadow armor is there anything positive that justifies Mega Man X6's existence? Not really :(

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Flaw(s): A bungled transition to the three-dimensional world, weak-kneed storyline twists that add nothing to the series mythos and unbalanced gameplay.

You really have to question Capcom's thought process when it comes to Mega Man X7. For some reason I think there was a lot of hubris in the development room that the move to the third dimension would solve all the problems encountered by players in Mega Man X6. As most of those who have played it know Mega Man X7 was far from being any kind of magical Band-Aid. The game's issues may have been slightly different but the result remained the same: another game that shamed what was a respectable - although far from innovative - franchise.

Still, while the failed transition of the gameplay was enough to make me wait until the game was a measly six dollars to buy it (I learned a lesson having purchased X6) Mega Man X7 is insulting in other intrusive ways. I doubt many people where too happy when they learned they had to "earn" the right to use X and his ridiculously overpowered X-Buster, or that Zero was about as useful as a brown paper bag with excrement in it. Still, while I know many people fail to care about the narrative in Mega Man games, the fact that X7 - like X6 - fails to add anything monumental to the series story (outside the addition of Axl who becomes important at the end of X8 for REASONS UNKNOWN) kind of takes priority since I could put up with a bad game if there was SOMEKIND of payoff. Sadly with Mega Man X7 there really isn't. Also, before I forget...

BURN TO THE GROUND! BURN! BURN TO THE GROUND!

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Flaw(s): A dying franchise erroneously introduces an interesting plot twist at an insanely late hour and said twist will probably never be fully explained.

Rest easy Mega Man X8 fans. I'm not here to attack Mega Man X8 because of it's gameplay. I'll admit there are a few things I could nick-pick over but when it comes to being a game X8 in infinitely better than the last game Mega Man X7 and even X6. No, this small rant on Mega Man X8 largely has to do with the game's story (e.g. ending) which is unlikely to ever be explained. My question? With the series obviously being at the end of it's life cycle (actually with Mega Man X5 being the intended ending point the series is WAY past it's point of expiration) WHY would you introduce such a juicy plot twist at such a late hour? Seriously guys... it's freaking ridiculous!

Damn you Capcom... damn you!

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Flaw(s): Series doesn't offer any significant changes like original Mega Man X, lame attempt to pass off high difficulty level as a feature, some games punish you in some way for using power-ups, narrative slops on drama to inane ends, games barely focus on Zero as a character (yes, I know that was intentional), features in games constantly changing not because they're being improved but because they're trying to find what works, Zero 2 has one of the worst characters/villains I've ever seen. I could go on but you get the point.

As you can probably tell from above I don't really have any love for the Mega Man Zero series... or anything else that Inti-Creates has gotten their hands on outside the individuals responsible for producing the audio for their games. In an almost ironic way Mega Man Zero takes everything I love about Mega Man (well, more specifically Mega Man X) and just complicates the whole affair by trying to make me care about things I don't care about. What's that Inti? These games were made harder for more hardcore players? Please... I don't give two little (expletive) about the difficulty level. Hell, some of my FAVORITE games (none of which are accounted for here) are INSANELY easy and actually excel at something. Huh? You're story is dark, dramatic and it's scope lies beyond the series namesake character? I guess that's nice... but all I really care about is Zero. Still, I think the moment I knew Mega Man Zero wasn't for me was during Mega Man Zero 2 when Elpizo's operation "Righteous Strike" fails and he goes completely nuts. I don't think I've seen a character I had more distain for and, no Capcom, his "backstory" did not make a better character. What's that? I'm heartless? Okay, maybe Square-Enix will send Sora over with a keyblade and button mash me into oblivion.

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Flaw(s): Created with intent to address some of the issues with the original Metal Gear Solid on the PS1, The Twin Snakes - somewhat hilariously - only fixes things that didn't need to be fixed.

I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time explaining this one as it's pretty self-explanatory, but I have to admit I'm downright flabbergasted with The Twin Snakes. Looking at the PlayStation original, I don't think there is a soul out there that believes remastering the original Metal Gear Solid with the sixth generation graphics the GameCube provides is a bad idea. However, this plan goes askew quickly when the game switches around things that didn't need to be switched around while leaving other things - like the REAL issues - alone. I'd laugh about it more but I still feel kind of burned considering how much I put down for my copy... then there is the whole idea that I find the original to be the better version which is rather ridiculous.

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Flaw(s): Considering that Metal Gear Solid's gameplay hasn't aged too well (in my opinion) why would I play a Metal Gear Solid game that has no story when the story was the best part of the original?

Like above, this one doesn't really need to be explained. However, while I'm fairly positive there is no argument that could change my mind on this one, I'm sure there is someone out there who has a contrasting opinion.

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Flaw(s): If I have to explain it to you, you're obviously not looking at the right websites. You Tube is a good bet :)

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Flaw(s): The narrative's somewhat bad attempt at trying to make the player care about a character other than Samus.

It kind of pains me to write this entry because beyond this one small hiccup Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is a pretty good game. Seriously, if you have a Wii and have not played it get down to the closest video game store and spend the measly five dollars it costs to buy it from the used rack. Now that my pathetic attempt to sway those reading is over, I guess I should mention that I DO like these characters (the other bounty hunters and Admiral Dane) that Corruption introduces us to... it just outside of the Admiral the game's story disposes of these characters in the absolute worst way possible. During your first mission at Norion these guys have their moments but at the end of the day they just end up being obstacles in your way - which is the exact opposite of how such characters are handled in Metal Gear Solid.

Of course, comparing the story of a Metroid game (well, the first game in the series that really tried to have a story) to a Metal Gear Solid game is kind of a losing proposition, and I have to go easy on it since Other M attempted the same thing on a greater scale and ultimately failed. In the end a notable flaw, but Corruption's slight missteps are easy to overlook. Now go buy it despite what I've said.

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Flaw(s): Game's bi-polar artificial intelligence rips the game in half, characters are the best aspect of the game and game ultimately fails to live up to the childhood memories I have of it.

Unlike Metroid Prime 3: Corruption above, it doesn't pain me to write what I'm going to write about Mortal Kombat 3. However, before I start trashing the game, I should probably give those reading some context....

Mortal Kombat 3 reached home consoles when I was in the sixth grade (most parents didn't care about the ESRB back then either I take it) and you weren't anyone unless you had a copy of it and/or Killer Instinct. Beyond making you a who's who among your video game playing friends, the SNES port of Mortal Kombat 3 was - in my opinion - much better than a lot of reviewers gave it credit for, especially retroactively. But being a good port of what is essentially a bad game is nothing to get excited about. In my youth I could turn a blind eye to all of it's problems - like the bipolar artificial intelegence that is aloof one match and completely depraved the next - because I didn't know any better, but in today's world the game's computer controlled characters essentially break the game and rob it of any redeeming value.

What makes this so frustrating is Mortal Kombat 3 would see TWO revisions in the forms of Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 and Mortal Kombat Trilogy yet NO ONE on the development team had the foresight to fix this issue meaning those games - despite offering more - are victims of the same vices. This is a real shame because while these games prove to me the memories of playing Mortal Kombat are actually better than playing it now it means the game's great collection of characters are mere window dressing in an otherwise ugly game.

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Flaw(s): Still priced around $35 DESPITE being six to seven years old, New Super Mario Bros is a $20 game if I've ever played one.

With this one I'm sure there are going to be a few fans out there willing to defend Nintendo's pricing practices, but sad excuses like "well, their first party games are priced that high because they will sell at those prices" don't really cut it with me. With such crude logic being used it's no wonder why I shifted to the PlayStation after the SNES. But seriously, you can find better and more engrossing DS games for less than what New Super Mario Bros. will run you AND they won't feel like a sorry attempt to relive far superior games like Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World. Additionally, while it's just a matter of opinion, the "New" Super Mario Bros. series will never, EVER be considered a "system seller" to me like a Mario Galaxy or a Zelda game.

However, in taking such a stance against New Super Mario Bros. some may question why I fail to take up this same cause with The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time 3D and Star Fox 64 3D. Well, outside the fact that these remakes failed to draw enough attention to the 3DS in the early going (which DOES kind of please me in an semi-evil way) I willing to leave these alone to a certain extent because they were remade from the ground up. Ocarina of Time - which I'm playing for the first time - probably looks much better than the Nintendo 64 version and StarFox 64... well, StarFox... actually no, I can't really justify the $40 for that when used prices for the game are hovering around $22. Fact is I can see why people choose PlayStation and Xbox over Nintendo when price drops on software are much more frequent.

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Flaw(s): An unfortunate example that there is no shortage of crappy, cardboard cutout licensed products just waiting to screw over ill-informed customers.

Before I get started on this one, I should probably mention the picture above is from the Super Nintendo version while the experience that is fueling this entry is from my time with the rendition on the GameBoy. I tried to find a good picture to represent that take on the game, but it's kind of hard to find fitting images of a game on the internet when the game - for most intensive purposes - sucks.

Needless to say for every one licensed video game that doesn't suck - like DuckTales on the NES and GameBoy - there are one hundred that insist on limbo-ing under the definition of good. Ren and Stimpy: Veediots is one such game and I basically chose it to represent the lot of these uninspired products because it's the one I grew up with. Even as a child I knew that Veediots was sub par and the only reason it is in my collection now - as if you couldn't tell looking at the far superior games I like - is due to that small, little bastard known as nostalgia. Really, that is the ONLY thing that ends up saving products like these in most cases. Oh nostalgia... thou are NOT a heartless bitch.

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Flaw(s): Rather laughable as a follow-up product to the acclaimed Final Fantasy VII, many of the game's mechanics were ill-explained, and that game wasn't finished before it was released.

Despite the flaws listed above - and how doomed this product was from the very beginning (outside of Japan) - I happen to LOVE SaGa Frontier. Yes, I know I've only scratched the surface of what's wrong with this thing but there is something I found charming about it. Where the vast majority of people see trash when they see this game I see treasure. I can't explain it... in a certain sense I don't WANT to explain it... I don't want to ruin the mystery, but SaGa Frontier is one of my favorite games despite the fact it is severely broken.

Now that I've swooned over this thing more than enough, I have to concede that SaGa Frontier's ultimate failure is far from surprising. THIS is how you follow up Final Fantasy VII? I may like the game but even I get why others would avoid touching this on principle. Then there's the fact that the game's gameplay was/is poorly explained by nearly every source other than the best, fan-made FAQ's. Still, the thing that bothers me most about SaGa Frontier is the fact that it wasn't finished when Sqauresoft decided to release it. Yeah, I guess that's a pretty moot point... you could have doubled the development time and the game still would have suffered the same fate abroad, but to those who dig the game I'm sure they're wondering what was left on the cutting room floor. Actually, there's a book ("The Essence of SaGa Frontier") that does just this but since I can't read Japanese all I can do is admire the pretty artwork in the back of the book :P

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Flaw(s): The generation system spits on the concept of building up characters, weapon breakage, and access to areas completely limited by flow of events.

Oh boy... this is going to be fun. Now, when it comes to SaGa Frontier II I guess I can see how some people like it more than the previous game... I mean it does have an excellent musical score by Masashi Hamauzu... and well, that's it! There are so many design choices in SaGa Frontier II that drive me batshit crazy, like how you can only revisit places if the narrative ALLOWS you to given you haven't done certain events already. Then there's the fact that it's POINTLESS to build up you characters unless they're the final generation of characters you use to beat the last boss because you end up losing the ones prior to that because of their age. Urgh! Then, THEN the game throws weapon breakage into the equation... but not the kind of slow kind of wear and tear you see in a Diablo game. No, full-on *you can use this weapon this many times before it breaks* kind of usage. I could go on... the money/chip situation, the way spells work, the daunting odds against you when fighting certain enemies and life point breaks. Seriously, give me the first game in all it's broken glory.

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Flaws: New script translation and voice acting makes characters sound bratty and new artwork makes Rena look like a freaking loli.

When I first got a PSP (you know, that handheld that was mostly a breeding ground for ports and remakes) I initially loved Star Ocean: Second Evolution and thought the game (much like Capcom's Breath of Fire III which Sony wouldn't license here in the states - thank you region free PSP!) deserved another go around. Well, I still think the game deserved the revamp it received but it's not all rainbow and sunshine like it was before. No, some of Second Evolution's "enhancements" are somewhat annoying. When it comes to voice acting it's generally good, but man oh man do the characters come off as brats or what! I asked my friend if these characters where this way before on the PS1 and he said yes, only that I didn't notice it with the lack of VA and clear translation. I'm not sure if that's true or not but way to but a damper on some characters from my younger days.

Then there is Second Evolution's attempt at artwork. Now, from what I've been told (I have no way of confirming this) is that the artist for the PS1 original was fired for penning an unofficial Claude/Rena sex Manga. Again, don't know if that's true - it be kind of hilarious if it was - but I do know the artwork for Second Evolution is sub par. Really, did we need to make Rena look THAT young? Dude, the way she looks next to Claude above I think the authorities may want to look at her identification... Claude may be committing a crime when they stay at the Krosse (Cross) hotel. Seriously Square Enix... she's seventeen so make her look freaking seventeen! No, I'm not terribly interested in WHY you make all girls look so young! If I want to indulge that part of my psyche I'll buy something like Hyperdimension Neptunia and the small fondling fest it features on it's back cover.

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Flaw(s): Everything is so small... seriously, why does everything have to be so damn small?

Okay, I'm kind of exaggerating with this one... but then I'm kind of not. So let me get this straight... you have a small handheld (the legendary brick) with a small screen and then you make everything in the environment depicted on the screen really small? Wow, that's... brilliant! Yes, dare I say brilliant!

Despite the fact I could rail on this game all day I guess it does deserve some props. I mean it was the first portable Mario game after all. However on the negative side of things I kind of forgot all about it when the superior Six Golden Coins came about. Err... I guess like everything else concerning video games it's completely subjective...?

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Flaw(s): Game needs to evolve, game needs to evolve, game needs to evolve, game needs to evolve, game needs to evolve, game ne....

I LOVE the original Wild Arms. I love the first follow-up Wild Arms 2nd Ignition. Wild Arms 3: Advanced 3rd? Not so much. So what's wrong with Wild Arms 3? Well, before I get to that I just want to pre-empt some possible retorts by saying yes, I know the game got decent reviews and there is nothing "horribly" wrong with it - but at the same time you have to admit as a product what it offered severely paled to what other J-RPG developers were doing at the time. Additionally, I don't directly blame Media Vision for it as I have an odd hunch that Sony wasn't financially backing these games enough to make them truly competitive. The series gameplay was pretty much on auto pilot until Wild Arms 4.

Still, the lack of capital aside this doesn't make me forget what a drag this game is. Virginia - the main protagonist (note to all: Virginia is the lead character - look at the cover art - she's the main character, live with it) - does absolutely nothing for me, the combat is drawn out and dull, the puzzle solving hasn't really advanced (as we're still using the same tools just in different forms) and the antagonists are lame (wow, those Prophets are really cool - not!). Sure, the game does have some cool moments - the concept behind the last boss is cool to a certain extent - but Wild Arms 3 makes it clear the series would have to change in order to survive... or just to delay it's eventual demise.

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Flaw(s): Does next to nothing to make me think it is better than the 1997 original.

I tell you man... Wild Arms Alter code:F sounded like a great idea back when it was first announced. Then we were hit with delay after delay because of Agetech and then when I finally got the game I realized all that waiting was for naught. Wild Arms Alter code:F is a remake that is completely void of all the personality and charm that made the original one of my favorite RPGs/games ever. Seriously, I LOVE the first Wild Arms so much I would pick it over Final Fantasy VII if you held both out in front of me. But this...? No, this isn't the Wild Arms I love... this is a imposter that provides no real improvement over what it attempts to replicate. Why would you screw with the art style? The first game was so instrumental in my appreciation of anime to see it mucked up to the point it is here is an insult. How... how could you mess up something so simple? Wow... just wow. Wild Arms Alter code:F is easily one of my top five biggest video game busts EVER!

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Flaw(s): While the series makes a very valiant attempt to evolve to current realities of the role-playing market, the fact is all of game's improvements have simply arrived too late to be effective.

Having recently replayed Wild Arms 4, I have to say it's a much better product than I thought it was back in 2006 when it debuted. Still, while I do feel the game deserves more recognition than it ultimately received, the sad fact is all of the changes in Wild Arms 4 (good as they are) have arrived too late to fight off the rigors of unyielding, superior competition and that the popularity of the genre had reached it's climax well before this point. Wild Arms 4 fights the brave fight but looses the war. Despite that people still should give it a shot....

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Flaw(s): In it's last attempt to stay relevant on consoles, Wild Arms 5 fudges everything - and I mean next to EVERYTHING - up.

Here we have another game where I don't know where to begin. Well, the artbook that comes with the limited edition of the game is very nice and beyond the fact the game completes my Wild Arms collection it's the only reason I still own the game and even went as far to repurchase it. I *could* whip up a list of problems with this game but it's just simpler to just tell those reading that the game is the equivalent of holding up a white flag in surrender. I wish I was kidding but the fact the series switches over to the SRPG genre when the series shifted to the PSP for it's final game is proof of that.

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Flaw(s): Activision believing this game was even close to being worth it's initial cost of $60 :P

I actually ended up liking X-Men Destiny... but I'm pretty sure that's because I only paid $18 for it compared to the $60 some people were probably duped into shelling out for it at release. The game is kind of fun in a shallow sort of way but it can't hold it's own against significantly superior products.

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Flaw:(s) Many, but they all center around the development team biting off more than they could chew.

Oh look... another controversial pick. This is sure to go down smooth with some people if all those ten out of ten on reviews at GameFAQs is any indication! In order to calm the waters, I should impart that I respect the sheer size and scale of Xenogears' narrative. Trying to take what is essentially an anime and make it into a video game is no small feat. Yet this is where the game ultimately fails. It was such an immense project that the game simply wasn't finished. Yes, a game's intent should be judged but at the same time we have to judge the end product... and the end product that is Xenogears is kind of boring. Hell, big words and concepts are thrown at you faster than one can probably comprehend the symbolism. And this is the problem. Xenogears just thinks it's better than a lot of other games because of this. I know some people are probably laughing that I've given a game - an inanimate object - a trait such as narcissism but I feel it is appropriate given those who fail to look at the game objectively. Again, Xenogears is an ambitious game that should be examined and studied - especially by those who want to get into the industry - as it teaches us many lessons, but many of those lessons are simply ignored. The only real element of the game that really escapes my critical point of view is Yasunori Mitsuda's soundtrack (wow, him again!) which just hammers his nostalgia handicapped work from Chrono Trigger. As for the rest of Xenogears? The game should be experienced by anyone with an interest, but it should be far from anyone's holy grail.

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Flaw(s): The development team was worried about more superfluous elements more than the ones that really mattered.

Along with Wild Arms: Alter code:F, Xenosaga Episode II rests at the top of my all-time biggest busts for the PlayStation 2. My friends and I were eagerly anticipating this game (perhaps more than we should have) mainly due to the story but we quickly found out that Jenseits von Gut and Bose dropped the ball in the gameplay category. Because of that and all the small things that were seeming changed for the sake of being changed (seriously, who CARES if Shion wears glasses or not) it was obvious the development team had their priorities in the wrong order which was just bewildering considering how many of these games they were *planning* to make at the time. Of course, everyone knows the rest of the story... Xenosaga II proved damaging enough that the series would end with the third and final game... which I still need to play and everyone tells me is awesome.