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The Exorcist Series
4107
7.5
8.1
The Exorcist (1973)
3 confirmed deaths
2 men who sucks ***** in Hell
1 woman who sucks ***** in Hell
Running time: 122 mins
Kills per average: 40.67 mins
Number of kills: 3
Golden vomit: Pretty much none of them. Gruesome? Not when you consider one fall to death, death due to natural causes (edema). and heart attack.
Sent to Hell: Burke Demmings, who fell to death.
Note: Father Damien Karras’ death is up for debate, given that yes, he did fall and was presumed dead by the police, but later turns up not dead in part III.
Survivors: Regan MacNeil, Father Lankester Merrin, Chris MacNeil, Lt. William Kinderman, Father Joseph Dryer, Father Damien Karras, and Sharon Spencer
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Hannibal Lector
Most deaths in series: Hannibal
Least deaths in series: Red Dragon
Least deaths in series: Red Dragon
712
7.3
7.2
Manhunter (1986)
10 confirmed deaths
9 men
1 women
Running time: 120 mins
Kills per average: 1 kill per 20 minutes
Number of deaths: 10
Coolest kill: Freddie Lounds. Who memorably dies, via flaming wheel chair. A most deserving death, to be sure.
Lamest death: Police officer who gets blasted by a shotgun.
Survivors: Agent Will Graham, Agent Jack Crawford, Dr. Hannibal Lektor, Reba McClane Molly Graham, Kevin Graham, Dr. Sidney Bloom, Dr. Frederick Chilton, Lt. Fisk, and Lloyd Bowman
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
6602
8.2
8.6
10 confirmed deaths
8 male lambs silenced
2 female lambs silenced
Running time: 119 mins
Kills per average: Approximately 12 minutes
Number of kills: 10
Best dinner: Lt. Boyle, who is clubbed to death and put on display.
Barely worth eating: Paramedics who died off screen.
Survivors: Clarice Starling, Hannibal Lector, Jack Crawford, Catherine Martin, Barney, Senator Ruth Martin, Paul Krendler, and Precious the doggy
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
3224
6.6
6.8
Hannibal (2001)
15 diners
14 men
1 women
Running time: 132 minutes
Kills per average: 8.8 mins
Number of deaths: 12
Good eat: Paul Krendler. Ewwww.
Return back to the chef: Monteo, who just gets sliced and diced.
Survivors: Hannibal Lector, Clarice Starling, Dr. Cordell Doemling, Barney, and FBI Director Noonan
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
2532
6.7
7.2
9 confirmed hungry hungry Hannibal dinners.
6 male
3 female
Running time: 125 mins
Kills per average: 13.89 mins
Number of kills: 9
Gourmet meal: Freddy’s dead. And toasty!
Left over: Flute player, who dies off screen.
Survivors: Agent Will Graham, Dr. Hannibal Graham, Reba McClane, Lloyd Bowman, Fredrick Chilton, Barney Matthews, Agent Jack Crawford, Josh Graham, and Molly Graham
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1268
6.1
6.2
Hannibal Rising (2007)
62 confirmed kills
42 male yummy dinners
6 yummy female diners
4 unknown
Running time: 121 minutes
Kills per average: 1.92 mins
Number of kills: 62 mins
Most yummy diner: Kolanis, jabbed with a knife through the head.
Mr. Yuck: Grentz. How he dies doesn’t matter. This film sucks, and so does his desth.
Survivors: Hannibal Lector, Lady Murasaki, and Inspector Pascal Popil.
No really cares at this point.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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From Dusk ‘Til Dawn
2787
7
7.2
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
145 confirmed deaths
68 men
1 women
21 female vampire babes
17 male vampires
7 unknown vampires
Running time: 108 minutes
Kills per average: 44.69 minutes
Number of deaths: 145
Muerte genial de vampire: Chet Pussy que murió derretido.
Muerte de vampiro cojo: El imbécil, Richie Gecko, que acaba de morir de una mordida en el cuello.
Survivors: Seth Gecko, Kate Fuller, Carlos, and Border Guard
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Re Animator Series
816
7.3
7.2
8 conformed deaths
4 men
4 women
2 unknown re animated
and one poor reanimated cat
Coolest re animated: Unnamed naked re animated cotpse.
Running time: 86 mins
Kills per average: 10.75 mins
Number of kills: 10
Uncoolest death: Unnamed dead hospital patient.
Survivors: Dr. Herbert West and Dr. Dean Halsey
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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The Lost Boys
1747
6.9
7.3
The Lost Boys (1987)
14 people who have died.
13 men
1 woman
Running time: 93 mins
Kills per average: 6.93 mins
Number of kills: 14
Coolest bite: Dwayne. DEATH BY STEREO!
Lamest bite: Security guard. He just gets lifted up in air. Where he belongs.
Survivors: Shirtless sax dude, Sam Emerson, Michael Emerson, Lucy Emerson, Star, Grandpa, Laddie, Nanock, and The Frog Brothers.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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The Blair Witch Project Trilogy
3186
5.8
6.5
3 confirmed deaths
2 men
1 woman
Running time: 87 mins
Number of deaths: 3
Kills per average: 22 mins
Golden project: Michael. He just eerily stands there. Freaking us, and poor, poor, Heather. After being dragged down the stairs, to his horrible death.
Lame project: Joshua. Left to die, with only this teeth remaining.
Survivors: Spoiler alert! Nobody. They all died.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Flanaverse
288
6.4
6.6
Hush (2016)
3 confirmed deaths
2 men
1 woman
Running time: 86 mins
Kills per average: 26 mins
Number of kills: 3
Coolest sound: The Man who gets stabbed in the neck.
Uncoolest sound: Sarah, who just dies.
Survivors: Maddie, and her pet cat!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Bird Box
438
6
6.6
27 confirmed deaths
18 men
7 women
2 unknown
The birds survive!
Running time: 124 mins
Kills per average: 4,59 mins
Number of kills: 20
Coolest chirp: Cheryl, who gets scissored in the neck.
Bird isn’t the word: Random chirped. Gary, however should have been chirped harder.
Survivors: Malorie, Boy, Girl, various survivors, unnamed babies, and Dr, Lapham
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Unfriended 1&2
Movie with most deaths: Unfriended: Dark Web
Movie with least kills: Unfriendled
Movie with least kills: Unfriendled
283
4.7
5.6
Unfriended (2014)
6 confirmed deaths
3 men
3 women
Running time: 83 mins
Kills per average: 18.83 mins
Number of kills: 6
Coolest meme: Ken, who gets blended to death. Bye Ken!
Lamest meme: Val. Who drinks bleach. Kids, don’t do this at home!
Survivors: Presumably no one. They all die! Including maybe even Blair?
64
5.4
6
10 confirmed 10 deaths
3 men
6 women
1 unknown hacker
Running time: 92 mins
Kills per average: 9.2 mins
Number of kills: 10
Coolest glitch: A.J., who dies by gun shot blast.
Uncool glitch: Kelly. We don’t know who she is, and she dies offscreen.
Survivors: The Charions. Everyone else, pretty much dies!
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Five Nights At Freddy’s
113
4.6
5.5
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
8 people who have been cuddled to death!
5 men
3 women
Running time: 109 mins
Kills per average: 13.6 mins
Number of kills: 8
Golden pizza: Max. Who gets chomped on!
Ewwww Anchovies: Aunt Jane. Is she really dead?
Survivors: Mike, Vanessa, Abbie, and Freddy and his pals!
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Smile
Movie with most kills: Smile
120
5.7
6.5
Smile (2022)
5 frowns turned upside down.
2 male
3 female
and 1 poor kitty
Run time: 115 mins
Kills per average: 23 mins
Number of kills: 5
Golden smil: Laura Weaver, has a very gruesome desth.
Frown: Nobody! It’s a happy gory movie!
Survivor: Joel, who becomes the new Smiler!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Assorted films
148
6.8
7
Barbarian (2022)
5 confirmed deaths
4 men
1 woman
Running time: 102 mins
Number of deaths: 5
Kills per average: 20.4 mins
Coolest kill: A.J. Who died a well deserved death.
Lamest kill: Frank, who took the easy way out.
Survivors: Tess. Just barely.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
238
6.9
6.9
Ready or Not (2019) (2019)
15 confirmed deaths
8 men
7 women
Running time: 95 mins
Number of deaths: 15
Kills per average: 6.33 mins
Most ready: Everyone who blew up really good!
Least ready: Dora the Dumb Waiter Explorer
Survivor: Grace. She’s total bad ass.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
147
6.3
6.1
Tourist Trap (1979)
6 confirmed deaths
3 men tourist trapped
3 women tourist trapped
Running time: 85 mins
Number of kills: 6
Kills per average: 14.17 mins
Golden doll: Tina. Who gets turned into a Tina doll.
Lame doll: Mr. Slausen. Who just dies, with a axe in his neck.
Survivor: Poor, poor traumatized Molly.
40
6.1
4.9
Ice Cream Man (1995)
9 confirmed deaths
7 men
2 men
And sadly one dog. Poor Binky.
Running time: 86 mins
Number of kills: 9
Kills per average: 9.56 mins
Golden scoop: Martin Cassara. Who is longer a pepper.
Melted ice cream: Gregory. He should have gotten a bloodier death, given that he was the main bad guy.
Survivors: Heather, Tuna, Small Paul, Roger.Detective Gifford, Nurse Wharton. Detective Maldwyn, Mr. Spodak, and Reverend Langley
77
5.9
5.6
4 naughty people killed
3 men
1 woman
Running time: 83 mins
Number of kills: 4
Kills per average: 23.5 mins
Golden present: Charles, who gets the present of a eye stabbing.
Coal in the stocking: Peter, Binky, and Frank. Who just get throat sliced and stabbed. That’s just about it.
Survivors: Phil, Ricardo Bauma, Dr. Prost, Mr. Grosh, Tom, Theresa, Detective Gleason, and Detective Gottleib.
But not Santa Harry.
79
5.6
5.7
Bloody Birthday (1981)
8 unbirthdays
4 men
4 women
Running time: 88 mins
Number of kills: 8
Kills per average: 10.86 mins
Best birthday present: Beverly, who gets the gift of a arrow in the eye.
Returned birthday present: Unnamed naked babe, who gets shot off screen.
Survivors: Debbie, Joyce, Curtis, and Timmy
38
5.9
5.8
Blood Rage (1987)
11 confirmed deaths
7 men
4 women
Running time: 82 mins
Number of deaths: 11
Kills per average: 7.45 mins
Golden turkey: Brad, whose hand is cut off, and gets a machete in the head.
Lame leftovers: Gregg, who just stabbed.
Survivors: Karen, unnamed baby, and maybe Todd?
3
7
4.3
President's Day (2010)
20 confirmed deaths
10 men unelected
10 women unelected
Running time: 82 mins
Number of kills: 20
Kills per average: 4.1 mins
Coolest kill: The Janitor, who dies a very messy death.
Lamest kill: Officer Kennedy, who dies off screen.
Survivors: Barry, Joanna, Vice Principal McKay, and various students
493
6.1
6.1
40 confirmed deaths
16 men pranked
4 women pranked
6 killed killer klowns
14 unknown cotton candied
Running time: 86 mins
Number of kills: 46
Klowning per average: 2.16 mins
Golden klown prank: Biker dude pied, and decapitated.
Lawn klown prank: Sgt. Mooney, who gets squeezed through bats.
Survivors: Mike Tobacco, Debbie Stone, Rich Terenzi, and Paul Terenzi.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
44
5.4
4.8
6 confirmed deaths
4 women
2 men
Running time: 86 mins
Number of kills: 6
Kills per average: 14.3 mins
Golden ball drop: Sally, gets suffocated by a plastic bag.
Lamest ball drop: Paramedic
Survivors: Derek, Unnamed girl, Lieutenant Ed Clayton, Sergeant Greene, and Diane “Blaze” Sullivan (But probably not for long!)
252
5.8
6.2
12 captured
4 men given coal for presents.
8 women given coal for presents
Running time: 98 mins
Captured: 12
Captures per average: 9.08 mins
Golden candy cane: Jordan, who is swallowed by a toy clown.
Sour candy cane: Aunt Dorothy
Survivors: Max’s family?
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
737
6.7
6.7
27 trick or treated
16 male
4 female
7 unknown
Running time: 82 mins
Number of kills: 27
Kills per average: 3.04
Cool trick: Charlie who vomited chocolate, and is beheaded.
Uncool treat. Macy, Schrader, and Chip, who are tricked off screen.
Survivors: Sam, Emma, Billy, Rhonda, Danielle, Laurie, Maria, and Janet
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
432
6.4
6.5
15 people nexted
10 men nexted
5 women nexted
Run time: 94 mins
Number of kills: 15
Kills per average: 6.27 mins
Best nexted: Felix, who is killed by a blender.
Least nexted: Talia, who dies off screen.
Survivor: Erin
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
151
6.3
6.1
Happy Birthday to Me (1981)
9 unbirthdays
6 male
3 female
Running time: 111 mins
Number of kills: 9
Unbirthdays per average: 12.33
Most savage death: Greg, who gets crushed by a bar bell.
Least savage: Alfred. His death left a lot to be desired.
Survivors: Ginny, Rudi, Amelia, unnamed pet rat, and unnamed police cop.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
300
6.7
6.5
28 worded
15 worded males
16 worded females
1 farewell to arm
Running time: 98 mins
Number of kills: 28
Kills per average: 3.38 mins
Coolest worded: Laurel Anne. Eew.
Least worded: Obituary deaths.
Survivors: Nobody. Sorry nobody!
201
5.4
5.7
9 unlucky people
7 very unlucky men
2 very unlucky women
Running time: 93 mins
Number of kills: 11
Kills per average: 10.3 mins
Most nastiest dare: Conway, who dies horribly.
Most unnasiest dare: Paul, who dies of a heart attack.
Survivors: Iris and the rest of the Lambrick family. Those horrible smug bastards.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
157
6.7
6
Pieces (1982)
7 confirmed Icks
1 dude Icked
6 women something somethinged
Running time: 84 mins
Number of unfortunate events in this film: 7
Kills per average: 12.4
The Most Did They Had to Do That Moment: The waterbed moment.
The most I guess sure why not moment: Dean Foley, who just gets shot?
Survivors: Mary Riggs, Kung Fu Dude, and Sgt. Randy Holden
Note: This film, truly lives up to it’s title.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
862
6.3
6.4
Slither (2006)
127 confirmed barfed
52 men puked
32 women vomited
38 unknown sluggies
And way too many animal deaths.
Most Barfoest death: Brenda Blob, who explodes into a gooey mess of alien slug worms.
Running time: 95 mins.
Number of deaths: 127
Kills per average: 0.748 mins
Most pukey death: Brenda Blob
Least pukey death: Dragged away dead bodies.
Survivors: Bill Prady and Starla Grant
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Dario Argento Films
1230
7.8
7.3
9 confirmed deaths
2 men to their deaths
7 women leaping their deaths
Running time: 99 mins
Number of deaths: 9
Kills per average: 11 mins
Golden dance: Pat Hingle, who falls to death, through stained glass window.
Lame dance: Academy members who are toasted!
Survivor: Only Suzy Bannion!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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The Strangers
Most strangest film: The Strangers: Prey By Night
Least strange film: The Strangers
Least strange film: The Strangers
1019
5.9
6.2
The Strangers (2008)
2 confirmed deaths
2 men
Running time: 88 mins
Number of deaths: 2
Kills per average: 44 mins
Deadliest strange: Mike, who is no longer Sunny in Philadelphia.
Undeadliest strange: James, who just gets stabbed.
Survivors: Vanessa and The Stangers
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
96
4.4
5.2
The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)
8 confirmed deaths
4 men
4 women
Running time: 88 mins
Number of kills: 8
Kills per average: 10.75 mins
Deadliest strange: Mike, who gets jammed to the oldies.
Undeadiest strange: Cindy, who has a drawn out death.
Survivors: Nobody!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Mortal Kombat Films
Movie with most deaths: Mortal Kombat (2021)
Movie with least deaths: Mortal Kombat (1995)
Movie with least deaths: Mortal Kombat (1995)
1590
5.3
5.8
Mortal Kombat (1995)
11 confirmed deaths
11 Mortally Wounded Men
Running time: 101 mins
Number of kills: 11
Kombats per min: 9.89 mins
Flawless victory: Scorpion, who becomes Toasty!
Lame defeat: Art Lean, who just gets punched.
Survivors: Johnny Cage, Raiden, Kitana, Sonya Blade, and Lui Kang
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
602
3.9
3.6
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)
22 confirmed deaths
17 Mortally Annihilated Men
3 Mortally Annihilated Women
2 Mortally Unplugged Cyborgs
Running time: 95 mins
Number of kills: 22
Kills per average: 4.32 mins
Survivors: Sindal, Raiden, Jax, Sonya Blade, Lui Kang, and Kitana. Everyone else is mortally annihilated, or mortally vanishes.
Not that it matters.
Survivors: Sindal, Raiden, Jax, Sonya Blade, Lui Kang, and Kitana. Everyone else is mortally annihilated, or mortally vanishes.
Not that it matters.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
233
5.3
6.1
31 confirmed deaths
28 Mortally Wounded
3 Women Mortally Wounded
Running time: 110 mins
Number of kills: 31
Kills per average: 3.55 mins
Flawless victory: Nintara, who is buzzed in half.
Lame defeat: Various unnamed ninjas.
Survivors: Cole Young, Shang Tsung, Jax, Sonya Blade, Raiden, Scorpion, and Lui Kang.
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A24 Horror Films
Most deaths in a film: The Witch, Midsommar, and The Lighthouse
Least deaths in a film; Talk to Me
Least deaths in a film; Talk to Me
121
7
7.1
Talk to Me (2022)
3 confirmed deaths of mates
2 blokes
1 Shelia
And 1 kangaroo. Poor Roo.
Running time: 98 mins
Number of kills: 3
Kills per average: 31.67 mins
Golden Hand: Duncan, who dies by starter gun.
Lame Hand: All hands are brutal!
Survivors: Cole, Sue, and Riley
425
7.5
7.4
4 confirmed deaths
4 male lighthouse keepers
Running time: 107 mins
Number of deaths: 4
Kills per average: 27.25 mins
Golden Sea Shanty: Thomas Rake, who is pecked by birds, after falling to his death.
Lame sea shanty: Ephraim Winslow, who just dies.
Survivors: Nobody. Everyone dies. Except maybe the screaming mermaid? And the Woman on the Rock?
656
7.2
6.9
4 confirmed deaths
3 men
1 woman
Running time: 92 mins
Number of kills: 4
Kills per average: 93 mins
Golden spell: William, killed by a goat.
All deaths, were extremely effective.
Survivors: Villagers, Thomasin, The Governor, Black Philip, and assorted witches
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
538
7
7.3
4 confirmed deaths
1 man
3 women
And one poor bird.
Running time: 127 mins
Number of deaths: 4
Kills per average: 31.75 mins
Golden death by evil devil dude: Charlie, who looses her head.
Lame death by evil devil dude: Leigh, whose body just lies there.
Survivors: Peter Graham (who is possessed!),Joan, Bridget, and coven members.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
455
6.9
7.1
12 confirmed deaths
8 men dead or sacrificed
4 women dead or sacrificed
1 dead bear
Running time: 141 mins
Number of sacrifices or deaths: 12
Sacrifices or deaths per minute: 11.75 mins
Golden sacrifice: Elders who have jumped, to their deaths.
Every death or sacrifice is this film, is terrifying.
Survivors: Dani Ardor, Pelle, Rueben, Ingmar, Maja, and various village members.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Jordan Peele Films
Film with most kills: Us
Film with least kills: Us
Film with least kills: Us
438
6.6
6.8
66 confirmed deaths
14 men
14 women
38 unknown
8 Tethered
Running time: 126 mins
Number of deaths: 66
Kills per average: 1.91 mins
Golden scissors: Io, who was stabbed and clubbed to death, with a golf club.
Dull scissors: Tex, who deserved a better death, than being off screen.
Survivors: Adelaide "Addy" Wilson, Jason Wilson, Gabe Wilson, and some of the Tethered.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
868
7.3
7.7
7 confirmed kills
4 men
3 women
Running time: 104 minutes
Number of deaths: 7
Kills per average: 14.86
Coolest kill: Dean Armitage, who gets impaled.
Lamest kill: Georgina, who dies in a car accident.
Survivors: Chris Washington and Rod
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Candyman, Candyman, Candyman Films
Film with most kills: The 2021 Candyman
Film with least kills: The original Candyman
Film with least kills: The original Candyman
905
6.5
6.7
Candyman (1992)
6 confirmed deaths
3 men
3 women
Candyman’s death: Being burnt.Yet again. But, can ghosts actually die?
Running time: 99 mins
Number of kills: 6
Kills per average: 16.5 mins
Golden candy: Dr. Burke, who gets hooked to desth.
Tooth decay: Vernadette. She dies off screen, leaving only her body behind.
Survivors: Anna Marie, Jake, Anthony, Detective Frank Valento, and several residents.
Many think that Stacey survives. And she does. But not for very long!
No bees, were harmed during the making of this film.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
127
5.3
5.3
9 confirmed deaths
8 male
1 female
Candyman’s death: Shattering into dozens of pieces.
Number of deaths: 9
Running time: 95 mins
Kills per average: 10.56 mins
Golden candy: Paul, who gets hooked and vivisected.
Tooth decay: Ethan, who gets shot to death.
Survivors: Annie Tarrsnt, Matthew, and Caroline McKeever
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
78
4.5
4.1
16 confirmed deaths
9 men
7 women
Candyman’s death: Burnt to death, again. After his painting is destroyed.
Running time: 93 mins
Number of deaths: 19
Kills per average: 5.81 mins
Golden candy: Detective Sacco, who gets face hooked.
Tooth decay: Detective Kraft, who just gets shot in the back.
Survivors: Caroline McKeever, Christina, Detective Matthews, and Danny
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Note: This list will contain spoilers.
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