Video Game Films - Ranked

Yet again, Uwe Boll. The first half were actually almost watchable. Naturally it was also infested with some terrible acting, dialogue and an awful voice-over. Not to mention that godawful action scene. Yet, there were some aspects in the plot that could have been interesting in the hands of someone more talented.

The last half however is just dreadful. I've never been so bored in my life before. While it might be technically okey, this film offers some of the most uninspired action scenes I've seen in a very long time.

Gosh, this film was terrible. Really cheesy and just awful. The only noteworthy thing in it is Alyssa Milano's ass. That's saying a lot.

Uwe Boll again! This time with a film that is so bad that it is almost good. Just almost. It's hard to write anything concrete about it. It's just so ridiculous. I'll let this dialogue speak for itself.

Rudy: "You did all this to become immortal. Why?"
Castillo: "To live forever!"

A film made by the infamous director Uwe Boll. It's just shit. I'm surprised that he managed to get actors like Jason Statham to appear in it, not that he managed to save the film in any way.

Never was a huge fan of the last film, and I've never touched the video game. I guess the film would have made more sense if you've played the game, or if you for some reason remember anything from the previous film. I found there to be some confusing aspects in this film, but then again, the plot wasn't exactly compelling enough for me to get interested in it. Take away the Silent Hill setting, and you've basically got a very ordinary horror story.

But where this film falls flat is that it heavily relies on graphic, disturbing images to shock or scare you. The problem with that is that if you're going to attack the viewer with those kind of images, you need to build that around some sort of atmosphere. The images themselves don't work if there's nothing else there to grab you.

Yeah, I don't get it. It's an awful film. Aside from the theme song, there's nothing redeemable here. Adapting a video game like Mortal Kombat doesn't really require much. It's more or less just to toss in a few awesome fights, but this was beyond boring. The fights was lackluster as fuck, while everything surrounding it was just bad. I see that many people are claiming it as some sort guilty pleasure, but I fail to see the entertainment value here. It's just bad.

Well, it's not exactly the abomination I expected it to be from Uwe Boll, but it's still very bad. I appreciate that Boll decided to keep the gore and nudity in, but the film feels very sloppily made. There's barely any script here, the action is poorly directed and the performances are phoned in. And Michelle Rodriguez is a recipe for bad.

I don't know how how true it is to its video game, but knowing Boll, I really don't think there's much.

Angelina Jolie punched a goofy-looking CGI-shark in the face. I don't even know what to say about it. It happened. It's a thing... I guess.

If this film could get any dumber than it already is, humanity as we know it would instantly collapse. Not that I've expected it to be clever or anything, but there's a stupidity line that you shouldn't cross. This film didn't only cross that, it completely smashed through it. That being said, I'm sure that there are a lot of people who will find enjoyment in this dumb, cheesy and poorly acted mess of a film. That's not me however, as I found it to be dreadfully boring and annoying. I didn't even enjoy Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft.

Didn't like it as much as I liked the others while I was much younger. Might catch it again sometime. I guess.

RAMPAGE is just so bland that there's not really a lot to say about it. It's completely tasteless and devoid of any sort of personality. There's one funny death scene, but aside from that there's essentially nothing here.

Another example of why a rewatch with Extinction and Apocalypse might be a bad idea. This one I saw much more recently. It's just boring, dumber and not particularly engaging. Even Milla Jovovich ain't as hot as she usually is in it.

The issue I have with the film is that I feel that nothing really happens in it. There's a lot of action in it (which is not helped by the poor animation), but it's all empty and weightless. There's nothing too it. It's just a lot of color, and nothing is given any importance, emotion or relevance.
I mean, it's a film that I really don't feel anything towards. Which is shocking, seeing as this is quite possibly the first film I ever saw in a cinema and I should have a lot of nostalgia for it. Lugia is even of my favourite Pokémon. Yet I can't find anything in the film that is even remotely engaging.

And that breaks my heart.

The first 15 minutes or so are actually kinda interesting. Mewtwo, a Pokémon that was created by genetic manipulation, tries to figure out what's his place in this world is. What the meaning behind his existence is. If he only is there to serve humans or if he is meant for something bigger. It's all very basic and surface level stuff, but it opens up a way for some fascinating psychological and philosophical themes that would be way above what you would expect from a quickly tossed together Pokémon film.
The film doesn't go anywhere with it, and once the film's title has flashed on screen and we're introduced to Ash and his friends, the film is all downhill from there.

There is enough color and spectacle to dazzle and distract you throughout the film, even if the animation is a bit rough, but beyond some Pokémon rather awkwardly punching each other, there's not a lot to see here. Even for someone who has grown alongside Pokémon. And the less said about the ending (and the very odd montage with some really bizarre song choice) the better.

Speaking of boring, this is another film that really pushed my attention. Again, the visuals were great and some certain scenes were decent enough. Still, in the end, it's just big and dumb.

The visuals might have been great, but damn. This was boring as hell. I thought it started pretty decent, but once things started top happen, the more I started to look at the clock.

Short and to a certain degree an entertaining film with decent fighting scenes. The plot is ludicrous, the acting is weak, the characters are bland. It's filled with plot holes and is actually just stupid. Still, I enjoyed the fight scenes.

Now, why did I put this one lower than Extinction and Apocalypse? Well, it is because I rewatched it again. Which annoys me. Why did I have to go ahead and nearly completely vaporize a half decent memory of a film I liked when I was younger? Why did I just get that sudden need to see Milla Jovovich in sexy mode? Now, I don't think I dare to touch the others.

I thought it was pretty cool when I was younger, and there were several things I liked about it. Like the laser trap. Sadly, I'm not finding so many cool things about it now. It's mostly stupid, annoying and cheesy, with poor acting. And the fact that I just can't stand Michelle Rodriguez.

And I guess I can say the same things about this as I did to Extinction. Didn't entertain me as much and while Milla Jovovich is hot, I think she is hotter in Extinction. It might also drop with a possible rewatch.

The biggest problem with Hitman: Agent 47 is that there's barely any plot or any reason to care about any of the characters in this film. The action sequences are strung together by the bare minimum of what's required.

But this is still an entertaining film with several moments that feels like they're pulled straight out of the game. It's slickly made, and the action beats are well-designed.

Even with the track record of poor video game adaptations in mind, the film adaptation of Assassin's Creed is one of my most disappointing film experiences ever. It is also one that frustrated me a lot. Because the film gets a lot of things right and there is much to admire here. Mostly the action scenes in the past. They are just damned cool. Wonderfully choreographed and beautifully shot. The performances themselves are fine and a lot of the themes the film brings up during the present time of the film is interesting enough. There are elements here to make good film, but shamefully the filmmakers have made some poor choices in where to put the focus of the film.

Everyone who knows the Assassin's Creed games knows that the segments that are centered around the present day are the least interesting parts of those games. It's to be able to explore the different eras in history that intrigues us. Which is why it's frustratingly mind boggling to see that the filmmakers have decided to keep the majority of the film during the present time. We spend roughly 70% of the film in boring Abstergo (the "evil" company in the film) landscapes. The film have reduced the scenes in the past to simple action scenes. Besides that, there's nothing. The character's are all essentially just stunt men. We don't get to know any of the characters in 15th century Spain. They're as paper thin as they can possibly be. So while the action is cool, that is unfortunately all it is. The film should have been around 80% in the past. That's where the meat is.

Whatever is happening during present day is fine enough. It's a bit overly plotted and character development and motivation is a bit scarce, but as someone who is really familiar with the games, I followed it closely enough without getting bored. It sets up for a sequel, and I must say that I'm slightly worried about it. Personally, I would think it's wiser to start from scratch and get it right.

Possibly the film in this franchise that entertained me the most. Mainly because I think Milla Jovovich just keeps getting hotter. It might be drop if I dare to rewatch it. Not sure if I'm going to the take the chance.

Easily the best of the first trilogy of Pokémon films. It's a film that actually is about more than just shoddy visuals and spectacle. While never scraping too much below the surface, it's still a film that manages to deal with a child's loss, grief and tragedy in a manner that is emotionally resonating and to a certain extent (within this universe) believable - and unlike the first Pokémon film, it manages to carry its theme throughout the entire film.

Ash is still pretty much a nobody character, but everything else here is also slightly better. The battles are more engaging. Team Rocket is funnier. If they had explored the lore behind Unown even more, I would probably have really enjoyed it.

The best thing about this Tomb Raider reboot is undoubtedly Alicia Vikander as Lara Croft. She fully embodies the role and gives us a fully fleshed out character that's both vulnerable and tough at the same time, making her exciting to follow.

The problem with the film lies in its story. It's a very generic video game type of story that really could have used a couple of rewrites. The action sequences themselves are mostly fine and exciting, but the story that connects everything is not as inspiring.

This is a film that I would have loved unconditionally when I was eight years old. Pokémon is something that has stayed with me throughout my entire childhood as I grew up with it. The games, the cards and the anime. I've played, collected and seen most of it. Naturally I've not managed to catch up with a lot of the newer stuff, as I've found other things that interest me a lot more these days. But I still have a fond spot in my heart for this property and I was very much intrigued by the idea of this film coming out.

And I'm more or less pleased by the outcome of it. I think it's a fine family film. The visuals are gorgeous. I've seen people comparing it a little bit to BLADE RUNNER, which I think is a suitable comparison. It also does justice to the look of the various Pokémon that they have included in this film. They are wonderful to look at and they've been brought to life in the most visually pleasing way. Pikachu looks stunning and I'm really digging that Psyduck look. It's also a funny and light-hearted film. The humor is well-incorporated and Ryan Reynolds delivery makes a lot of it work, with Justice Smith's natural performance being a minor highlight.

The plot itself is a minor disappointment though. It's very much about solving a mystery, but the case is very simplistic and offers only the bare minimum of what it's required to do. I can understand that they didn't want to do anything that's too complex in fear of alienating a lot of children, but I would have loved just a little more to keep me a bit more invested in the plot. For as it turned out, I was mostly just amazed at the visuals and laughing at some of the gags - but never that into the story.

Now, this film I REALLY haven't seen in a long time. I guess it's easy enough to say that I thought it was entertaining as well, some sort of guilty pleasure. Probably.

Also a while since I saw it, but it is also a film that entertained me very much when I caught it at cinema and later on when I saw it on blu-ray. It's visuals are dazzling and spectacular, and I'm a little bit fond of these kind of stories.

With a history of rather bad film video game adaptations, Need for Speed comes across as one of the better ones so far. It might not have a proper story, and it's certainly full of clichés in the plot, character development and overall film language. But Need for Speed really delivers where it's supposed to deliver. It delivers speed.

So by that, Need for Speed is an entertaining and thrilling experience. By completely dodging CGI and focusing on real stunts and effects, you really feel the intensity and fast pace of these races. Add to that a likeable Aaron Paul and a super cute Imogen Poots, and you've managed to capture a great film out of absolutely nothing.

I've been waiting for a Warcraft film for about ten years, and now it's finally here. The film does follow some sort of video game adaptation curse. There hasn't been plenty of good films based on video games, and with great fantasy properties as The Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones already existing, Warcraft is going to be a though buy for a lot of people and in particular those who aren't already familiar with this universe.

Warcraft have always been a little silly. There's a lot of fantasy mumbo-jumbo in it, and it has never truly shied away from embracing some of the cliches that comes with the genre. Though despite it featuring big clunky green orcs, silly magic and oversized weapon and armor, Warcraft is also about ideas and themes that most genre films shies away from. There are no right or wrong in Warcraft. With perhaps one exception, there is no naturally good or evil character present here and Warcraft manages to play up all sides equally well. It's also fine to see that the story actually got proper stakes, and that it avoids being predictable by providing enough twists and turns

While Warcraft manages to offer an interesting story at its core, it's first and foremost a visual spectacle. It's a CGI heavy film with a few practical effects and sets mixed within it. All of it looks great, and particularly the orcs looks amazing. The action is well-made and despite its PG-13 rating, it doesn't shy away from the brutality that a war of this scale would end up as.

It's a bit difficult to talk about Warcraft without going into my own bias towards this world. I'm a huge fan, and to finally see the world of Azeroth on the big screen is incredible. There are so many details, easter eggs and just downright amazing moments for us fans in Warcraft that I can't help, but to love this film. It's certainly flawed. It does try to gape over too much and too many characters over a short time, and it would have benefited from either simplifying it further or extending its length. I'm not sure how average film goers, and those who aren't already fans are going to react to Warcraft, but as a fan I thought it was amazing.

It is ages since I saw it, but I remember it being one of my favourite "put on simply and watch it"-films when I was much younger. I thought it was very cool, very entertaining and very underrated.