Cinema's biggest Weasels
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The Green Mile (1999)
Percy Wetmore
Wetmore only made it to the mile because he "knows big people". The nephew of the govs. wife, he takes pleasure in tormenting the prisoners awaiting the chair. An utter coward underneath it all, Wetmore violently asserts his power with threats of getting the others fired. Wetmore melts a man to death and kills the wing's 'circus mouse'. A right down badden.
Weasel Rating: 18
Wetmore only made it to the mile because he "knows big people". The nephew of the govs. wife, he takes pleasure in tormenting the prisoners awaiting the chair. An utter coward underneath it all, Wetmore violently asserts his power with threats of getting the others fired. Wetmore melts a man to death and kills the wing's 'circus mouse'. A right down badden.
Weasel Rating: 18
GemLil's rating:

True Lies (1994)
Simon
The used car dealer who pretends to be an international spy to worm into women's beds. Immortalised as a weasel forever by the following quote:
"I'm actually a complete coward, if I ever saw a gun... Oh God, no, no don't kill me. I'm not a spy. I'm nothing. I'm nav-al-ent. I have to lie to women to get laid, and I don't score much. I got a little dick, it's pathetic. Wha, uh, oh God. Would a spy pee himself, huh?" "
Weasel Rating: 17
The used car dealer who pretends to be an international spy to worm into women's beds. Immortalised as a weasel forever by the following quote:
"I'm actually a complete coward, if I ever saw a gun... Oh God, no, no don't kill me. I'm not a spy. I'm nothing. I'm nav-al-ent. I have to lie to women to get laid, and I don't score much. I got a little dick, it's pathetic. Wha, uh, oh God. Would a spy pee himself, huh?" "
Weasel Rating: 17
GemLil's rating:

The Mummy (1999)
Benny
Backstabber, sneak and completely selfish are among the first of the negative words to describe this Ermine. He deserved every beating and punishment he got because he was the biggest betrayer to ever walk the Earth.
Weasel Rating: 17
Backstabber, sneak and completely selfish are among the first of the negative words to describe this Ermine. He deserved every beating and punishment he got because he was the biggest betrayer to ever walk the Earth.
Weasel Rating: 17
GemLil's rating:

Moulin Rouge! (2001)
The Duke
Maddened by lust for his whore, The Duke becomes jealous of Satine's affair and sends a goon to have Christian killed. The Duke spends his time in a perminant state of lust, he demands the play be rewritten to his ending and uses him money and goons to get everything he wants. He also looks like a weasel.
Weasel Rating: 11
Maddened by lust for his whore, The Duke becomes jealous of Satine's affair and sends a goon to have Christian killed. The Duke spends his time in a perminant state of lust, he demands the play be rewritten to his ending and uses him money and goons to get everything he wants. He also looks like a weasel.
Weasel Rating: 11
GemLil's rating:

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Dr. Chilton
Chilton spends his hours sleazing over FBI agent Clarice Starling, despite being knocked back. The doctor becomes jealous at the information Hannibel volentarily gives to her, over him. He initiates underhanded schemes to get the information he wants, and is thoroughly in the pocket of 'The Man'.
Weasel Rating: 11
Chilton spends his hours sleazing over FBI agent Clarice Starling, despite being knocked back. The doctor becomes jealous at the information Hannibel volentarily gives to her, over him. He initiates underhanded schemes to get the information he wants, and is thoroughly in the pocket of 'The Man'.
Weasel Rating: 11
GemLil's rating:

Tully Alford
Befriends the trusting Addams, uses information on the long lost Fester, to trick the family out of their gold.
Weasel Rating: 10
Befriends the trusting Addams, uses information on the long lost Fester, to trick the family out of their gold.
Weasel Rating: 10
GemLil's rating:

Wormtail
Part of a team of undeniable legends, Wormtail leeches off of the personality of his 3 friends, only to betray the Potter's and frame Sirius. Too cowardly to fight with Voldamort, Wormtail spends his life in hiding, as a rat.
Weasel Rating: 10
Part of a team of undeniable legends, Wormtail leeches off of the personality of his 3 friends, only to betray the Potter's and frame Sirius. Too cowardly to fight with Voldamort, Wormtail spends his life in hiding, as a rat.
Weasel Rating: 10
GemLil's rating:

The Incredibles (2004)
Gilbert Huph
Head of a corrupt insurance company and more concerned with profit than helping his customers. Huph does not allow Bob Parr to stop a guy from being mugged and fires him for helping the customers too much.
Weasel Rating: 10
Head of a corrupt insurance company and more concerned with profit than helping his customers. Huph does not allow Bob Parr to stop a guy from being mugged and fires him for helping the customers too much.
Weasel Rating: 10
GemLil's rating:

Jurassic Park (1993)
Donald Gennaro
The snivelly lawyer who is out for nothing but the money, Gennaro isn't awed by the beauty or magnificence of this scientific wonder, but the revenue it will bring in. When met with a hungry T-Rex Gennaro chooses to run and leave the screaming children, finally meeting his end crying on a toilet.
Weasel Rating:10
The snivelly lawyer who is out for nothing but the money, Gennaro isn't awed by the beauty or magnificence of this scientific wonder, but the revenue it will bring in. When met with a hungry T-Rex Gennaro chooses to run and leave the screaming children, finally meeting his end crying on a toilet.
Weasel Rating:10
GemLil's rating:

Peter Ludlow
Ignoring the advice of all of the experts, Ludlow wishes to move all the dinosaurs from their natural habitat in Isla Sorna to a park in San Diego. The whole escapade of dinosaur evasion is done over again because of the money grabbing actions of Ludlow.
Weasel Rating: 10
Ignoring the advice of all of the experts, Ludlow wishes to move all the dinosaurs from their natural habitat in Isla Sorna to a park in San Diego. The whole escapade of dinosaur evasion is done over again because of the money grabbing actions of Ludlow.
Weasel Rating: 10
GemLil's rating:

Grima Wormtongue
Working for Saruman, Wormtongue uses the power of manipulation and ear-whispering (aka Wormtonguing) to manipulate the actions of King Theoden, and weaken the Kingdom of Rohan.
Weasel Rating: 10
Working for Saruman, Wormtongue uses the power of manipulation and ear-whispering (aka Wormtonguing) to manipulate the actions of King Theoden, and weaken the Kingdom of Rohan.
Weasel Rating: 10
GemLil's rating:

Die Hard (1988)
Richard Thornburg
A greasey journalist who'll slither and sleaze his way into any story. Frequent blackmailer and squealer, he has nothing but weasel written into his genetics.
Weasel Rating: 10
A greasey journalist who'll slither and sleaze his way into any story. Frequent blackmailer and squealer, he has nothing but weasel written into his genetics.
Weasel Rating: 10
GemLil's rating:

Poseidon (2006)
Lucky Larry
"You don't just get the nickname Lucky Larry"
Gamber and Vegasite, Lucky Larry doesn't add much to the teams efforts, other than swigging booze and falling into pools of flaming fuel. Greasey hair and weasely features put this guy up here, although he makes no direct attempts to screw anyone over.
Weasel Rating 10
"You don't just get the nickname Lucky Larry"
Gamber and Vegasite, Lucky Larry doesn't add much to the teams efforts, other than swigging booze and falling into pools of flaming fuel. Greasey hair and weasely features put this guy up here, although he makes no direct attempts to screw anyone over.
Weasel Rating 10
GemLil's rating:

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Bogs Diamond/ The Sisters
Slithering around in the shadows and corridors of Shawshank prison. Bogs and the sisters make their way through all of the new and most vulnerable of prisoners.
"I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world.
Weasel Rating: 8
Slithering around in the shadows and corridors of Shawshank prison. Bogs and the sisters make their way through all of the new and most vulnerable of prisoners.
"I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world.
Weasel Rating: 8
GemLil's rating:

The Plaza Hotel Staff
Mainly here because of Tim Curry's grin. The plaza hotel sneak about the hotel room, trying to uncover what Kevin is really up to. They finally discover his credit card fraud and smuggly hand him over to the police.
Weasel Rating: 8
Mainly here because of Tim Curry's grin. The plaza hotel sneak about the hotel room, trying to uncover what Kevin is really up to. They finally discover his credit card fraud and smuggly hand him over to the police.
Weasel Rating: 8
GemLil's rating:

Aliens (1986)
Carter Burke
A company man at heart. He knows nothing of honour, decency or loyalty. Would sell his entire group down the river for a chance at the big time.
Weasel Rating: 8
A company man at heart. He knows nothing of honour, decency or loyalty. Would sell his entire group down the river for a chance at the big time.
Weasel Rating: 8
Alien: Resurrection (1997)
Dr. Wren
A man of unethical morals creates a abomination in the pursuit of profit. Although this isn't said outright, his motives only make sense by his unscrupulous actions. Willing to fuck over anyone who gets in his way aswell as run away at the first sign of danger.
Weasel Rating: 7
A man of unethical morals creates a abomination in the pursuit of profit. Although this isn't said outright, his motives only make sense by his unscrupulous actions. Willing to fuck over anyone who gets in his way aswell as run away at the first sign of danger.
Weasel Rating: 7
Braveheart (1995)
Prince Edward
The weak and effeminate son of Longshanks, who scorns his wife and uses his father's power to get what he wants, except the man he loves that is.
Weasel Rating: 7
The weak and effeminate son of Longshanks, who scorns his wife and uses his father's power to get what he wants, except the man he loves that is.
Weasel Rating: 7
GemLil's rating:

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride (1996)
The Weasels
The menacing weasels pick on and frighten poor Moley, and later take over Toad Hall and run a muck..oh, and they are actual Weasels.
Weasel Rating: 7
The menacing weasels pick on and frighten poor Moley, and later take over Toad Hall and run a muck..oh, and they are actual Weasels.
Weasel Rating: 7
GemLil's rating:

Ghostbusters (1984)
Walter Peck
A constant thorn in the side of the Ghostbusters crew. Ghosts and ghouls are left to create mayhem, while Peck shuts the team down with 'red tape'.
Weasel Rating: 6
A constant thorn in the side of the Ghostbusters crew. Ghosts and ghouls are left to create mayhem, while Peck shuts the team down with 'red tape'.
Weasel Rating: 6
GemLil's rating:

Titanic (1997)
Cal Hockley
Cal doesn't treat his fiance well, but gets aggitated when her eye roams to a loveable, working class yank. Cal frames Jack for theft and leaves him to drown, tied to a pipe, later attempting to shoot both the lovers. Cal then uses a child to make his escape from the ship and beats back the desperate men attempting to board the life boat.
Weasel Rating: 5
Cal doesn't treat his fiance well, but gets aggitated when her eye roams to a loveable, working class yank. Cal frames Jack for theft and leaves him to drown, tied to a pipe, later attempting to shoot both the lovers. Cal then uses a child to make his escape from the ship and beats back the desperate men attempting to board the life boat.
Weasel Rating: 5
GemLil's rating:

A Time to Kill (1996)
Billy Ray Cobb
James Louis 'Pete' Willard
Racist, badly dressed hicks with mullets tear up the town, using their shot guns and KKK anonymity.
Weasel Rating: 5
James Louis 'Pete' Willard
Racist, badly dressed hicks with mullets tear up the town, using their shot guns and KKK anonymity.
Weasel Rating: 5
GemLil's rating:

Judge Dredd (1995)
Fergie
A sidekick through and through. His only action is hiding and running. He even tried to sell out Dredd by chumming up to some cannibals, little did he know.
Weasel Rating: 5
A sidekick through and through. His only action is hiding and running. He even tried to sell out Dredd by chumming up to some cannibals, little did he know.
Weasel Rating: 5
GemLil's rating:

Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Cpl Upham
Upham befriends a nazi and convinces Cpt. Miller to release him, later that same rogue nazi shoots our valient hero, who dies from his wounds, good one Upham! Our Nazi loving friend did have some good intentions however and gets a lower Weasel rating.
Weasel Rating: 4
Upham befriends a nazi and convinces Cpt. Miller to release him, later that same rogue nazi shoots our valient hero, who dies from his wounds, good one Upham! Our Nazi loving friend did have some good intentions however and gets a lower Weasel rating.
Weasel Rating: 4
GemLil's rating:

Those snide, sneaky, weasely characters that everyone hates. They gain power (albeit temporarily) not through strength or bravery but through underhanded schemes and bad form.
This list names and shames cinema's worst weasels, from the most weasely to the least.
N.B. Again, thankyou Kryptic Centurion for your help with this list, anything written well or showing keen orgnisational skill were made by him.
This list names and shames cinema's worst weasels, from the most weasely to the least.
Points System:
Mandatory:
* Not a main character (sidekick or lower)
* Slimey
* Coward
* Counteracted by stallion/hero
Extras:
Hiding +1
Running +1
Smugness +1
Greasy hair +1
Taking a beating +1
Motivated by profit +1
Didn't earn their position +1
Unremorseful +1
No integrety +1
Big Weasel Bonus
Trechory/Betrayal +2
Squealing +2
Weasel features (Not inc. Beaner tache) +2
Beaner Moustache +2
Wetting themself +3
Weasel Spoilers
Genuine act(s) of bravey -2
Square jaw or hench body - 2
Unintended harm - 1
Shows remorse -1
N.B. Again, thankyou Kryptic Centurion for your help with this list, anything written well or showing keen orgnisational skill were made by him.
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