British Comedy: Monty Python's Flying Circus

Years: 1969-1974
Broadcaster: BBC
Genre: Sketch
Written by: Graham Chapman, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam,
John Cleese, Neil Innes, Douglas Adams
Stars: Graham Chapman, Eric Idle
Episodes: 45
Episode Average: 7.867

BEST EPISODES:
The Spanish Inquisition (1970), The Ant, an Introduction (1969)

SERIES ONE

(1969-1970)
13 episodes
Series Score: 105
Episode Average: 8.08
Perfect 10's: 4

S1E1

WHITHER CANADA?

Originally broadcast: 5 October 1969
Directed by: John Howard Davies, Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin

SKETCHES:
It's Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Famous Deaths - Italian Lesson
Whizzo Butter - "It's the Arts" - Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson
Picasso/Cycling Race - Dancing Soldiers and a Falling Pig
The Funniest Joke in the World

"I didn't really call you 'Eddie-baby', did I, sweetie?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

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S1E2

SEX AND VIOLENCE

Originally broadcast: 12 October 1969
Directed by: John Howard Davies, Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Flying Sheep - French Lecture on Sheep-Aircraft
Pepperpots Discuss French Philosophers - The Thinker
A Man with Three Buttocks - A Man with Two Noses
Musical Mice - Marriage Guidance Counsellor
The Wacky Queen - Working-class Playwright
Scotsman on a Horse - Flying Sheep - The Wrestling Epilogue
Cowboys, Baby Carriage and the Musical Statue - The Mouse Problem

"Well, then you steal some cheese. Brie or Camembert, or Cheddar or Gouda, if you're on the harder stuff."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

HOW TO RECOGNISE DIFFERENT TYPES OF TREE FROM QUITE A LONG WAY AWAY

Originally broadcast: 19 October 1969
Directed by: John Howard Davies, Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam,
Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

SKETCHES:
Court Scene - The Larch - Bicycle Repair Man
Children's Stories - Animals and Clergy - Donkey Rides
Restaurant Sketch (Dirty Fork) - Purchase a Past - Seduced Milkmen
Stolen Newsreader - Children's Interview - Nudge Nudge

"Is your wife a goer, eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean, Nudge, nudge. Nudge, nudge."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

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S1E4

OWL STRETCHING TIME

Originally broadcast: 26 October 1969
Directed by: John Howard Davies, Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam,
Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

SKETCHES:
Live from The Cardiff Rooms - Art Gallery - Art Critic
It's a Man's Life in the Modern Army - Undressing in Public
Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit - Changing at the Beach
Rustic Monologue - Secret Service Dentists

"Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against the banana fiend. First of all, you force him to drop the banana. Next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

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S1E5

MAN'S CRISIS OF IDENTITY IN THE LATTER HALF OF THE 20TH CENTURY

Originally broadcast: 16 November 1969
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton, John Howard Davies
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin

SKETCHES:
Confuse-a-Cat - The Smuggler - A Duck, a Cat and a Lizard
Vox Pops on Smuggling - Police Raid - Letters and Vox Pops
Newsreader Arrested - Erotic Film - Charles Fatless
Silly Job Interview - Careers Advisory Board
Burglar/Encyclopedia Salesman

"I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats but I can recommend an extremely good service."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

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S1E6

IT'S THE ARTS

Originally broadcast: 23 November 1969
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham C. Chapmansberg, John C. Cleeseberg,
Terry C Gilliamberg, Eric C Idleberg, Terry C. Jonesberg,
Michael C. Palinberg

SKETCHES:
Caption Costs - Autograph/Introduction to 'It's the Arts'
Johann Gombolputty - Censored - Non-Illegal Robbery
Vox Pops - Crunchy Frog - The Dull Life of a City Stockbroker
Superhero - Red Indian in Theatre
Policemen Make Wonderful Friends - A Scotsman on a Horse
Vicious Baby Carriage - Twentieth-Century Vole

"'Mock frog'? We use no artificial preservatives or additives of any kind."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

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S1E7

YOU'RE NO FUN ANYMORE

Originally broadcast: 30 November 1969
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Camel Spotting - Band Concert - You're No Fun Anymore
The Audit - Science Fiction Sketch: Man Turns Into Scotsman
Police Station - Blancmanges Playing Tennis

"Well, so far, Peter, up to the present moment, I've spotted nearly... nearly one."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S1E8

FULL FRONTAL NUDITY

Originally broadcast: 7 December 1969
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Vox Pops on Nudity and the Permissive Society - Army Protection Racket
Full Frontal Nudity - More Vox Pops
Art Critic – The Place of the Nude - Buying a Bed
Too Silly - Hermits - Meat Grinder - Dead Parrot Sketch
The Flasher - Hell's Grannies

"It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

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S1E9

THE ANT, AN INTRODUCTION

Originally broadcast: 14 December 1969
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Llamas - A Man with a Tape Recorder Up His Nose
Kilimanjaro Expedition/Sir George Head (Double Vision)
Man with a Tape Recorder Up His Brother's Nose
Clergyman Selling Encylopaedias - Homicidal Barber
Lumberjack Song - Gumby Crooner - The Refreshment Room at Bletchley
Ken Buddha and His Inflatable Knees - Hunting Film
The Visitors

"Yes, my brother was leading that. They were going to build a bridge between the two peaks."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

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S1E10

UNTITLED

Originally broadcast: 21 December 1969
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Walk-on Part in Sketch - Bank Robber: Lingerie Shop
Tonight Programmes with Henry Unction - Arthur Tree
Wooden Impression - Vocational Guidance Counsellor
David Unction Link - Ron Obvious: The First Man to Jump the Channel
Tunnelling from Godalming to Java - Pet Conversions - Gorilla Librarian
Letters to Daily Mirror - Strangers in the Night - Animals Eating

"Just a pair of knickers then, please."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S1E11

THE LONDON PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA GOES TO THE BATHROOM

Originally broadcast: 28 December 1969
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom
Letter - Lavatorial Humour - Lavatorial Humour - Interruptions
Agatha Christie Sketch (Inspector Tiger) - Undertakers Film
Jimmy Buzzard Interview - Undertakers and Naked Ladies
Interesting People - Tired Undertakers - Coffins
Eighteenth-Century Social Legislation - The Battle of Trafalgar
Batley Townswomen's Guild Presents the Battle of Pearl Harbor
Undertakers Film

"All right, the house is surrounded, and nobody leave the room and all the rest of it. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

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S1E12

THE NAKED ANT

Originally broadcast: 4 January 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
A Signal from Somewhere Near Hove - Falling From Building
Falling People, Magician, Opening Titles
"Spectrum": Talking About Things - Visitors From Coventry
Mr. Hilter - The Minehead By-Election - Police Station (Silly Voices)
Upperclass Twit of the Year - Smoking a Pipe
Ken Shabby - How Far Can a Minister Fall?

"Simon-Zinc-Trumpet-Harris... married to a very attractive table lamp."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

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S1E13

INTERMISSION

Originally broadcast: 11 January 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Intermission - Restaurant (Abuse/Cannibalism) - Advertisements
Albatross - Come Back to My Place - Me Doctor
Historical Impersonations - Historical Impersonations
Interviewer: "Wishes" - Police Fairy Stories
Probe-Around on Crime - Stonehenge - Mr. Attila the Hun
Psychiatry - Operating Theatre

"You are hereby ordered to vacate Mr. Notlob forthwith and/or."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

SERIES TWO

(1970)
13 episodes
Series Score: 107
Episode Average: 8.23
Perfect 10's: 3

S2E1

DINSDALE!

Originally broadcast: 15 September 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
"Face of the Press" - New Cooker Sketch
Flying European Monarchs, Shaving Tobacconists
The Ministry of Silly Walks - The Piranha Brothers (Ethel the Frog)

"It's not particularly silly, is it? I mean, the right leg isn't silly at all, and the left leg merely does a forward aerial half-turn every alternate step."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

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S2E2

THE SPANISH INQUISITION

Originally broadcast: 22 September 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Man-Powered Flight - The Spanish Inquisition
Jokes and Novelties Salesman - Suddenly-Animated Head
Tax on Thingy - Vox Pops - Photos of Uncle Ted (Spanish Inquisition)
The Semaphore Version of "Wuthering Heights"
"Julius Caesar" on an Aldis Lamp - Court Scene (Charades)
The Spanish Inquisition on a Bus

"Now, you will stay in the comfy chair until lunchtime, with only a cup of coffee at 11."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

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S2E3

DÉJÀ VU

Originally broadcast: 29 September 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
A Bishop Rehearsing - Flying Lessons - Hijacked Plane (to Luton)
The Poet McTeagle - Psychiatrist Milkman - Complaints
Déjà Vu ("It's the Mind")

"Look, I told you, you bastard. I'm not on a wire."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

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S2E4

THE BUZZ ALDRIN SHOW

Originally broadcast: 20 October 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Metamorphosis - Architect Sketch - How to Give Up Being a Mason
Anti-Masonic Sketch - Motor Insurance Sketch - "The Bishop"
Living Room on Pavement - East Midland Poet Board
A Choice of Viewing (Nude Man) - The Five Frog Curse
The Chemist Sketch - Words Not to be Used Again
After Shave (Less Naughty Chemist) - Vox Pops
Police Constable Pan-Am

"Look, rev. I hate to see a man cry, so shove off, out the office. There's a good chap."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

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S2E5

LIVE FROM THE GRILL-O-MAT

Originally broadcast: 27 October 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Live From the Grill-O-Mat - "Blackmail"
Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things
Escape (From Film) - Escape - Current Affairs - Escape Continues
Accidents Sketch - Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Piggy Bank Hunting - The Man Who is Alternately Rude and Polite
Documentary on Boxer (Ken Clean-Air System) - Host on a Bus

"Do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

IT'S A LIVING

Originally broadcast: 3 November 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
It's a Living - The Time on BBC 1 - School-Prize Giving
"If" a Film by L.F.Dibley - "Rear Window" a Film by L.F. Dibley "Finian's Rainbow" (Starring the Man from the Off-License)
Foreign Secretary - Dung (Book of the Month Club) - Dead Indian
Timmy Williams Interview - Raymond Luxury-Yacht - Interview
Sexual Athletes - Registry Office (Marriage)
The Prince and the Black Spot - Election Night Special

"That's right. You get Gone with the Wind, Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. The French Lieutenant's Woman and with every third book, you get dung."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E7

THE ATTILA THE HUN SHOW

Originally broadcast: 10 November 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
"The Attila the Hun Show" - Attila The Hun - Secretary of State Striptease
Vox Pops on Politicians - Ratcatcher - Wainscotting
Killer Sheep - The News for Parrots
The News for Gibbons - Today in Parliament
The News for Wombats - Attila the Bun - The Idiot in Society
Test Match - The Epsom Furniture Race
"Take Your Pick" ("Spot the Brain Cell")

"But of course, the more old-fashioned idiot still refuses to take money. He takes bit of string, wood, dead budgerigars, sparrows, anything."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E8

ARCHAEOLOGY TODAY

Originally broadcast: 17 November 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Trailer (BBC Autumn Shows) - Archaeology
"Archaeology Today" (Flaming Star) - Silly Vicar (Appeal for Sanity)
Leapy Lee - Registrar (Wife Swap)
Silly Doctor Sketch (Immediately Abandoned)
Soccer, Eggs, Diamond, Book Ad - Mr. and Mrs. Git
Mosquito Hunters - Poofy Judges - Mrs. Thing and Mrs. Entity
Beethoven's Mynah Bird - Shakespeare - Michelangelo
Colin Mozart (Ratcatcher) - Judges Again

"John Stokes, this is A Snivelling Little Rat-faced Git."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E9

HOW TO RECOGNISE DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE BODY

Originally broadcast: 24 November 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
"How to Recognise Different Parts of the Body" - Bruces
Naughty Bits - The Man Who Contradicts People - Cosmetic Surgery
Camp Square-Bashing - Killer Cars - Cut-Price Airline
Batley Townswomen's Guild Presents the First Heart Transplant
The First Underwater Production of "Measure for Measure"
The Death of Mary Queen of Scots - Exploding Penguin on TV Set
There's Been a Murder Europolice Song Contest - "Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong"

"Penguins don't come from next door, they come from the Antarctic."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E10

SCOTT OF THE ANTARCTIC

Originally broadcast: 1 December 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
French Subtitle Film ("La Fromage Grande") - Scott of the Antarctic
Scott of the Sahara - Conrad Poohs and His Dancing Teeth
Fish License - Derby Council v. All Blacks Rugby Match
Long John Silver Impersonators v. Bournemouth Gynaecologists

"I've never seen so many aerials in my life. The man told me their equipment could pinpoint a purr at 400 yards."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E11

HOW NOT TO BE SEEN

Originally broadcast: 8 December 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Conquistador Coffee Campaign - Repeating Groove
Ramsay MacDonald Striptease - Job Hunter
Chinese Communist Conspiracy, Crelm Toothpaste, Shrill Petrol
Agatha Christie Sketch (Railway Timetables)
Mr. Neville Shunt - Film Director (Teeth)
City Gents Vox Pops - "Crackpot Religions Ltd."
"How Not to be Seen" - Crossing the Atlantic on a Tricycle - Interview in Filing Cabinet - "Yummy Yummy Yummy"
"Monty Python's Flying Circus" Again in Thirty Seconds

"Here you introduce your first campaign: 'Conquistador Coffee
brings a new meaning to the word 'vomit'."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E12

SPAM

Originally broadcast: 15 December 1970
Directed by: Ian Mixed Grill MacNaughton
Written by: Spam Terry Jones, Michael Spam Palin,
John Spam John Spam John Spam Cleese,
Graham Spam Spam Spam Chapman, Eric Spam Egg And Chips Idle,
Terry Spam Sausage Spam Egg Spam Gilliam

SKETCHES:
"The Black Eagle" - Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook
Court (Phrasebook) - Student Demonstration, World Forum Opening Titles
World Forum: Communist Quiz - "Ypres 1914"... Abandoned
Art Gallery Strike - Art Gallery Strike - "Ypres 1914"
Hospital for Over-Actors - Hamlet linking Gumby Flowers
Gumby Flower-Arranging - Spam

"Drop your panties, Sir William, I cannot wait till lunchtime."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E13

ROYAL EPISODE THIRTEEN

Originally broadcast: 22 December 1970
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
The Queen will be Watching - Coal Mine (Historical Argument)
The Man Who Says Things in Very Roundabout Way
The Man Who Speaks Only the End of Words
The Man Who Speaks Only the Beginning of Words
The Man Who speaks Only the Middle of Words
Crelm Toothpaste - Commercials - How to Feed a Goldfish ("Fish Club")
The Man Who Collects Birdwatcher's Eggs
Spiny Norman, "Insurance Sketch" Titles - Insurance Sketch
Queen Tunes In - Hospital Run by RSM
Exploding Version of "The Blue Danube" - Girls' Boarding School
Submarine - Lifeboat (Cannibalism) - Undertaker's Sketch

"Why don't you want to eat me?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

FILM

(1971)

FILM

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Released: 20 September 1971
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam,
Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

REWORKED SKETCHES:
How Not to Be Seen - A Man with a Tape Recorder Up His Nose
Man with a Tape Recorder Up His Brother's Nose
Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook - Court (Phrasebook)
Marriage Guidance Counsellor - Nudge Nudge
Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit - Hell's Grannies
Camp Square-Bashing
Kilimanjaro Expedition/Sir George Head (Double Vision)
Come Back to My Place - The Flasher - Musical Mice - "It's the Arts"
Seduced Milkmen - The Funniest Joke in the World - Dead Parrot Sketch
The Lumberjack Song - The Restaurant Sketch (Dirty Fork)
Bank Robber: Lingerie Shop - Falling From Building
Vocational Guidance Counsellor - "Blackmail"
Sheffield Townswomen's Guild Presents the Battle of Pearl Harbor
Erotic Film - Upper Class Twit of the Year
...and numerous animated sequences by Terry Gilliam

"Now, I would just like to point out that this film is displaying a distinct tendency to become silly."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

SERIES THREE

(1972-1973)
13 episodes
Series Score: 99
Episode Average: 7.62
Perfect 10's: 1

S3E1

NJORL'S SAGA

Originally broadcast: 19 October 1972
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Alan Whicker*, John Cleese Whicker,
Graham Whicker Chapman, Alan Michael Palin Whicker,
Eric Whicker Whicker Idle, Terry Terry Whicker Alan Gilliam
*Terry Jones

SKETCHES:
Court Scene: Multiple Murder - Detectives Examine Prisoner
Icelandic Saga ("Njorl's Saga") - Court Scene (Viking)
Stock Market Report
Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion Visit Jean-Paul Sartre
Whicker Island

"Nipples rose during the morning, but had declined by mid-afternoon, while teeth clenched and buttocks remained firm."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

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S3E2

MR. AND MRS. BRIAN NORRIS' FORD POPULAR

Originally broadcast: 26 October 1972
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Emigration from Surbiton to Hounslow
Schoolboy' Life Assurance Company
How to Do It: Rid - Mrs. Niggerbater Explodes
Vicar/Salesman - Anatomy Chart
Farming Club: "Life of Tchaikovsky" - Trim-Jeans Theatre
Compere - Fish-Slapping Dance - Nationalistic Fish
World War One (Abandon Ship) - The BBC is Short of Money
Puss in Boots - "It's" (Chat Show)

"Both these theories ran up against one big obstacle: The Thames, lying like silver turd between Richmond and Isleworth."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E3

THE MONEY PROGRAMME

Originally broadcast: 2 November 1972
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
"The Money Programme" - "There's Nothing Quite as Wonderful as Money"
Erizabeth L (Episode Thlee: The Almada) - Fraud Film Squad
Police Hunt for Visconti Impersonator
Salvation Fuzz / Church Police - Heaven / Women in Jungle
Jungle Restaurant - Apology for Violence and Nudity
Ken Russell's "Gardening Club" - The Lost World of Roiurama
Six Minutes of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" - Argument Clinic
Hitting on the Head Lessons - Inspector Flying Fox of the Yard
One More Minute of "Monty Python's Flying Circus"

"Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type makes me puke! You vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E4

BLOOD, DEVASTATION, DEATH, WAR AND HORROR

Originally broadcast: 9 November 1972
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Hamrag Rachman, John Ecles, Rice Lied,
Torn Jersey(5,5), Michael Lapin, Marty Ricelli

SKETCHES:
Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror
The Man who Speaks in Anagrams - Anagram Quiz - Merchant Banker
Pantomime Horses - Life and Death Struggles - The Househunters
Mary Recruitment Office - Bus Conductor Sketch
The Man Who Makes People Laugh Uncontrollably - Army Captain as Clown
Gestures to Indicate Pauses in a Televised Talk ("The Bols Story")
Neurotic Announcers - The News With Richard Baker
"The Pantomime Horse is a Secret Agent Film"

"We would like to suggest a brand-new scheme of ours, under which 51% of both your dog and your wife pass to us in the even of your suffering a serious accident. "

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E5

THE ALL-ENGLAND SUMMARISE PROUST COMPETITION

Originally broadcast: 16 November 1972
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Summarize Proust Competition - Mount Everest Hairdresser Expedition
"A Magnificent Festering" - Fire Brigade - Our Eamonn
"Party Hints" with Veronica Smalls - Communist Revolutions
Language Laboratory - Travel Agents Sketch
Theory on Brontosauruses by Anne Elk (Miss.)

"My word, yes. Well, Chris, what is it that it is, this theory of mine? Well, this is what it is. My theory, that I have, that is to say, which is mine, is mine."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E6

THE WAR AGAINST PORNOGRAPHY

Originally broadcast: 23 November 1972
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Tory Housewives Clean-Up Campaign - Gumby Brain Specialist
Art Appreciation - Molluscs "Live" TV Documentary
The Minister for Not Listening to People
Tuesday Documentary / Children's story / Political Party Broadcast
Apology (Politicians) - Expedition to Lake Pahoe
The Silliest Interview We've Ever Had
The Silliest Sketch We've Ever Done

"There's a man at the door with a moustache." "Tell him I've already got one."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E7

SALAD DAYS

Originally broadcast: 30 November 1972
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Biggles Dictates a Letter - Flying sheep, Traffic Accidents
Climbing on Uxbridge Road - Lifeboat - Old Lady Snoopers
"Storage Jars" - TV Bad for Your Eyes - The Show So Far
Cheese Shop - Philip Jenkinson on Cheese Westerns
Sam Peckinpah's "Salad Days" - Apology
The News with Richard Baker - Seashore Interlude Film

"No, no, no, you loopy brothel inmate."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E8

THE CYCLING TOUR

Originally broadcast: 7 December 1972
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Mr. Pither - Clodagh Rodgers - Trotsky - Smolensk
Bingo-Crazy Chinese - Jack in a Box

"April 26th. Thrown into Russian cell. Severely damaged my Mars Bar."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E9

THE NUDE ORGANIST

Originally broadcast: 14 December 1972
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: The Usual Lot

SKETCHES:
Bomb on a Plane - A Naked Man - Ten Seconds of Sex
Housing Project Built by Characters from Nineteeth-Century Literature
M1 Interchange Built by Characters from "Paradise Lost"
Mystico and Janet: Flats Built by Hypnosis - "Mortuary Hour"
Animator, Flying Saucers - Olympic Hide-and Seek Final
Donkey Rides - The Cheap-Laughs - Bull-Fighting
The British Well-Basically Club - Algon Opening Prices on the Planet Algon

"I'm a good little doggie."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E10

E. HENRY THRIPSHAW'S DISEASE

Originally broadcast: 21 December 1972
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton Who is Assisting Police With Their Enquiries
Written by: Michael "Bulky" Palin, Terry Jones "King of the Lash",
John Cleese "A Smile, a Song, and a Refill",
Terry Gilliam "An American in Plaster",
Graham "A Dozen Wholesale" Chapman,
Eric Idle (Actual Size, Batteries Extra)

SKETCHES:
"Tudor Jobs Agency" - Pornographic Bookshop
Elizabethan Pornography Smugglers - Gay Boys in Bondage
Silly Disturbances - Shooting Gallery
The Free Repetition of Doubtful Words Sketch, by an Underrated Author
"Is There? ... Life After Death?
The Man Who Says Words in the Wrong Order
Thripshaw's Disease - Silly Noises - Sherry-Drinking Vicar

"Well, I'm not going to bush the doctor about the beat too long. I mean, I'm going to come to point the straight."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E11

DENNIS MOORE

Originally broadcast: 4 January 1973
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
"Boxing Tonight"... Jack Bodell vs. Sir Kenneth Clark
Dennis Moore: Lupins - What the Stars Foretell - Doctor
Ambulance Chasers - TV 4 or Not TV 4 Discussion
More Dennis Moore - Ideal Loon Exhibition - Plan 38A
Off-License - Still More Dennis Moore - "Prejudice"

"Your life or your lupins, my lord."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E12

A BOOK AT BEDTIME

Originally broadcast: 11 January 1973
Directed by: Ian 'Mixed Grill' MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
"A Book at Bedtime" - McKamikaze Scotsmen - No Time to Lose
No Time Toulouse - More McKamikaze Scotsmen - 2001 - Penguins
Unexploded Scotsmen - "Spot the Looney" - Rival Documentaries"
Dad's Doctor" (Trailer) - "Dad's Pooves" (Trailer)

"Nevertheless, scientists believe that these penguins, these comic, flightless, web-footed little bastards may finally, unwittingly help man to fathom the uncharted depths of the human mind."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E13

GRANDSTAND

Originally broadcast: 18 January 173
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Thames TV Introduction
"Light Entertainment Awards" Dickie Attenborough
The Oscar Wilde Sketch - Charwoman
David Niven's Fridge - Pasolini' Film "The Third Test Match"
New Brains from Curry's - Blood Donor
International Wife-Swapping - Credits of the Year
The Dirty Vicar Sketch

"You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony.
You might even need a new brain."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SERIES FOUR

(1974)
6 episodes
Series Score: 43
Episode Average: 7.17
Perfect 10's: 1

S4E1

THE GOLDEN AGE OF BALLOONING

Originally broadcast: 31 October 1974
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, Terry Jones,
Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Montgolfier Brothers - Montgolfier Brothers Wash Each Other
Louis XIV - George III - Zeppelin

"I'm so excited I can hardly wash."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E2

MICHAEL ELLIS

Originally broadcast: 7 November 1974
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Neil Innes, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Department Store: Buying an Ant
At Home with the Ant and Other Pets - Ant Communication
Ants - Poetry Reading (Ants) - Toupee - Different Endings

"And to start off, I'm going to as Mr. Wadsworth to recite his latest offering, a little pram entitled: 'I Wandered Lonely as a Crab'. And it's all about ants."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E3

THE LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT WAR

Originally broadcast: 14 November 1974
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
"Up Your Pavement" - RAF Banter - Trivializing the War
Courtmartial - Basingstoke in Westphalia: "Anything Goes In"
Film Trailer - The Public are Idiots
Programme Titles Conference - Television Centre
Woody and Tinny Words - Show-Jumping (Musical)
Newsflash (Germans) - "When Does a Dream Begin?"

"Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father, hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E4

HAMLET

Originally broadcast: 21 November 1974
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam

SKETCHES:
Bogus Psychiatrists - Nationwide: Police Helmets - Father-in-Law
Hamlet and Ophelia - Paratroopers - Boxing Match Aftermath
Boxing Commentary - Piston Engine (A Bargain)
A Room in Polonius' House - Dentists in Epsom - Live from Epsom
Queen Victoria Handicap - Match of the Day: Results

"He was better when the head came off Mr. Gabriello. He was really dodging the guy."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E5

MR. NEUTRON

Originally broadcast: 28 November 1974
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin

SKETCHES:
Post Box Ceremony - Mr. Neutron Arrives
F.E.A.R (or) Mr. Neutron is Missing - Teddy Salad (CIA Agent)
Bombings - Mrs. S.C.U.M. - "Conjuring Today"

"I have just won a Kellogg's Corn Flake Competition."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E6

PARTY POLITICAL BROADCAST

Originally broadcast: 5 December 1974
Directed by: Ian MacNaughton
Written by: Graham Chapman, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Douglas Adams, Neil Innes

SKETCHES:
"Most Awful Family in Britain" - Icelandic Honey Week
Doctor Whose Patients Are Stabbed by His Nurse
Brigadier and Bishop - Opera Singer
Appeal on Behalf of Extremely Rich People
The Man Who Finishes Other People's Sentences
David Attenborough: The Walking Tree of Dahomey
The Batsmen of the Kalahari: Cricket Match
BBC News (Handovers)

"He can't eat honey. It makes him go plop-plops.."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

FILM

(1975)

FILM

MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL

Released: 23 May 1975
Directed by: Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle,
Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

King Arthur and his knights are instructed to find the Holy Grail, the group have to resort to a cunning plan when the French won't grant them access to a castle, and a vicious foe must be defeated if they are to discover their final destination.

"I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster
and your father smelt of elderberries."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

FILM

(1979)

FILM

LIFE OF BRIAN

Released: 8 November 1979
Directed by: Terry Jones
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam,
Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

Brian's mistaken for the Messiah after being born in the stable next-door, an infatuation leads to the People's Front of Judea, and the crowd at the crucifixion has fun while deciding who to pardon.

"Now you listen here, he's not the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy! Now go away!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

FILM

(1979)

FILM

THE MEANING OF LIFE

Released: 22 April 1983
Directed by: Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam
Written by: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam,
Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

SKETCHES:

- OUR SHORT FEATURE PRESENTATION -

THE CRIMSON PERMANENT ASSURANCE

- OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION -

THE MEANING OF LIFE
PART I: THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH
Birth
THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH PART II: The Third World
The Protestant View
PART II: GROWTH AND LEARNING
Religious Education, Sex Education, Physical Education
PART III: FIGHTING EACH OTHER
Military Education, Officers & Gentlemen, A Tiger

- THE MIDDLE OF THE FILM -

FIND THE FISH
PART IV: MIDDLE AGE
Philosophy a la Carte
PART V: LIVE ORGAN TRANSPLANTS
The Liver Donor, The Galaxy, The Very Big Corporation of America
PART VI: THE AUTUMN YEARS
Mr. Creosote: The Joy of Fat
PART VI-B: THE MEANING OF LIFE
The Meaning of it All
PART VII: DEATH
The Good Death Guide, Autumn Leaves, The Grim Reaper,
Stairway to Heaven, Christmas in Heaven

- THE END OF THE FILM -

THE MEANING OF LIFE

"None whatsover. Complete mystery to me. Woke up just now, one sock too many."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

FILMS

09 - - 10

11 - - 12

01. Mrs. Fiona Lewis - Court Scene (S1E3)
02. The Colonel - Army Protection Racket (S1E8)
03. Minister for Home Affairs - "Face of the Press" (S2E1)
04. Lady Partridge - Agatha Christie Sketch (Railway Timetables) (S2E11)
05. Queen Erizabeth - Erizabeth L (Episode Thlee: The Almada) (S3E3)
06. Biggles - Biggles Dictates a Letter (S3E7)
07. Mr. Neutron - Mr. Neutron Arrives (S4E5)
08. Valerie Garibaldi - "Most Awful Family in Britain" (S4E6)
09. Oliver St. John Mollusk - And Now For Something Completely Different
10. King Arthur - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
11. Brian Cohen - Life of Brian
12. Transvestite - The Meaning of Life

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

FILMS

09 - - 10

11 - - 12

01. Knight with Chicken - Marriage Guidance Counsellor (S1E2)
02. Mr. Freight - The Visitors (S1E9)
03. Cardinal Fang - Photos of Uncle Ted (Spanish Inquisition) (S2E2)
04. Nude Organist - "Blackmail" (S2E5)
05. Ginger - Biggles Dictates a Letter (S3E7)
06. Miles Yellowbird - "Spot the Looney" (S3E12)
07. Percy Bysshe Shelley - Poetry Reading (Ants) (S4E2)
08. Mr. Cotton - Doctor Whose Patients Are Stabbed by His Nurse (S4E6)
09. Self-Defence Nun - And Now For Something Completely Different
10. Patsy - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
11. Blood & Thunder Prophet - Life of Brian
12. Howard Katzenberg - The Meaning of Life

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

FILMS

09 - - 10

11 - - 12

01. Female Tennis Player - Science Fiction Sketch: Man Turns Into Scotsman (S1E7)
02. Interviewer - Jimmy Buzzard Interview (S1E11)
03. Absent-Minded Woman - Leapy Lee (S2E8)
04. Europolice Girl - Europolice Song Contest (S2E9)
05. Mr. Badger - The Silliest Interview We've Ever Had (S3E6)
06. Mrs. O - What the Stars Foretell (S3E11)
07. Mother - Woody and Tinny Words (S4E3)
08. Brigadier N. F. Marwood-Git (retired) - Brigadier and Bishop (S4E6)
09. Rita Fairbanks - And Now For Something Completely Different
10. Roger the Shrubber - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
11. Lead Singer Crucifee - Life of Brian
12. Noël Coward - The Meaning of Life

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

FILMS

09 - - 10

11 - - 12

01. Frank's Wife - Walk-on Part in Sketch (S1E10)
02. Ali Bayan - Interesting People (S1E11)
03. The Bishop - "The Bishop" (S2E4)
04. Spam Waitress - Spam (S2E12)
05. Buckingham - More Dennis Moore (S3E11)
06. The Prince of Wales - The Oscar Wilde Sketch (S3E13)
07. Jacques Montgolfier - George III (S4E1)
08. Presiding General - Courtmartial (S4E3)
09. Tobacconist - And Now For Something Completely Different
10. Dennis's Mother - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
11. Mandy Cohen - Life of Brian
12. Mr. Creosote - The Meaning of Life

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

FILMS

09 - - 10

11 - - 12

01. Angus Podgorny - Science Fiction Sketch: Man Turns Into Scotsman (S1E7)
02. Heimlich Bimmler - Mr. Hilter (S1E12)
03. Third Groupie - Vox Pops on Politicians (S2E7)
04. Bill - Crackpot Religions Ltd. (S2E11)
05. Maurice - Farming Club: "Life of Tchaikovsky" (S3E2)
06. T.F. Gumby - Gumby Brain Specialist (S3E6)
07. Queen Victoria - Poetry Reading (Ants) (S4E2)
08. Mr. Smailes - Teddy Salad (CIA Agent) (S4E5)
09. Pet Shop Employee - And Now For Something Completely Different
10. Leader of The Knights Who Say NI! - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
11. Nisus Wettus - Life of Brian
12. Dad - The Meaning of Life

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

FILMS

09 - - 10

11 - - 12

01. Silly Job Interviewer - Silly Job Interview (S1E5)
02. Mr. Praline - Dead Parrot Sketch (S1E8)
03. Mr. Teabag - The Ministry of Silly Walks (S2E1)
04. Mrs. Dreary Fat Boring Old Git - Mr. and Mrs. Git (S2E8)
05. Ludwig van Beethoven - Beethoven's Mynah Bird (S2E8)
06. The Announcer (S2E9)
07. Mrs. Premise - Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion Visit Jean-Paul Sartre (S3E1)
08. Anne Elk - Theory on Brontosauruses by Anne Elk (Miss.) (S3E5)
09. Sir George Head - And Now For Something Completely Different
10. Tim the Enchanter - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
11. First Centurion - Life of Brian
12. The Grim Reaper - The Meaning of Life

01 - - 02

03 - - 04

05 - - 06

07 - - 08

FILMS

09 - - 10

11 - - 12

01. Deirdre Pewtey - Marriage Guidance Counsellor (S1E2)
02. A.J.P. Taylor - Eighteenth-Century Social Legislation (S1E11)
03. Maureen Spencer - Documentary on Boxer (S2E5)
04. Mrs. Attila the Hun - "The Attila the Hun Show" (S2E7)
05. Travel Agency Secretary - Travel Agents Sketch (S3E5)
06. Carol ("Prejudice" Hostess) - "Prejudice" (S3E11)
07. Antoinette - Montgolfier Brothers (S4E1)
08. Rebecca Vermon-Jones - Woody and Tinny Words (S4E3)
09. Milkman Collector - And Now For Something Completely Different
10. Dingo - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
11. Mrs. Gregory - Life of Brian
12. Wife of Guest #1 - The Meaning of Life CLICK

01 - - 02

FILMS

03 - - 04

01. Best Girl - Lumberjack Song (S1E9)
02. Petula Wilcox - Documentary on Boxer (Ken Clean-Air System) (S2E5)
03. Best Girl - And Now For Something Completely Different
04. The Witch - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

1 - - 2

01. Second Juror - Court Scene (Multiple Murder) (S3E1)
02. Algon Girl - Prices on the Planet Algon (S3E9)