Are you ready for some Hurtball?

BASEketball

Once upon a time, noted Hollywood satirist-turned-political activist David Zucker wondered what would happen if people played Horse on a baseball diamond, and the rest, as they say, was history. Released in 1998, BASEketball united South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker in a live-action comedy about a pair of slackers who accidentally invent a game that takes the nation by storm.

Sadly, the film failed to capture that magic, grossing a little over $7 million against a $23 million budget -- although it inspired at least one real-life league.

Death Race

For commuters in certain parts of the country, getting behind the wheel can feel like entering into a lawless, post-apocalyptic bloodsport. But the next time some jerk cuts you off, just remember: At least you're not a contestant in Death Race 2000, Paul Bartel's blood-soaked ode to the vicarious thrill of putting the pedal to the metal and feeding asphalt to anyone unlucky enough to get in your way.

Also be glad you aren't watching Paul W.S. Anderson's generally inferior 2008 remake, which gains Jason Statham but loses the authentic grindhouse vibe.)

Dejarik

For all the awesome advances and cool gadgets that science has given us, we still have yet to achieve the thrill of playing hologram animated chess on the deck of a ship hurtling through hyperspace with a giant furry thing acting as co-pilot.

Fortunately, we can live vicariously through the scene in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope -- and benefit from the countless hours devoted to the study of this fake game by the noble nerds responsible for its Wookieepedia

Pod Racing

Podracing tournaments are a big deal on Anakin Skywalker's home planet of Tatooine, where the outcome can be important enough to tempt a grumpy Toydarian into making a high-stakes bet that could end up costing him his adorable little human slave.

Jake Lloyd's finest hour -- and arguably the most exciting part of the movie -- the podracing segment in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace gave (albeit fleeting) free rein to George Lucas' affection for Golden Age cliffhanger action serials.

The Game

Before the Insane Clown Posse gave us Juggalos, The Blood of Heroes gave us Juggers, roving bands of post-apocalyptic lunatics who battered each other mercilessly in order to collect dog skull trophies in "The Game," a bloody, psychotic spin on field hockey, and attract the attention of "The League" so they could play in luxurious underground cities.

If it all sounds like dystopian hooey, it sort of is, but Heroes has enough of a cult following that a real-life variant on "The Game" -- called Jugger -- is played in a handful of countries around the world. Guard your dog skulls, people.

Jumpball

Imagine the NFL if it played its games with bike helmets and paralysis-defying leaps in high school gymnasiums, and you'll have an idea of what this sport played by the citizens of 24th century America in Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers is all about.

As futuristic fake movie sports go, Jumpball isn't all that exotic-looking -- sort of like the Arena Football League without Jon Bon Jovi in the owner's box -- but it gives the movie a properly testosterone-filled buildup to the Bug-slaying main event.