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Added by charidotes20 on 12 Dec 2012 08:58
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Steve In Real Life

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People who added this item 4030 Average listal rating (2717 ratings) 6.5 IMDB Rating 7.1
You know that if songs didn't cost money, the out-tro would have been "Hey Jude". (*)

Jason Segel (Finance): Do you have any idea how much money that would cost.

Steve Carell (Acting): *sighs* Well we have to do something.

"As for money.... we have no money."

And yet, somehow, this movie had the best cast of all time. They even had ROGEN.

And a model.

(*) Jude ist ein Mann, Kinder.

Best part of pretending to know other languages.

"(nonsense nonsense nonsense)"

"Eh.... what language are you speaking?"
charidotes20's rating:
People who added this item 1856 Average listal rating (1229 ratings) 7.1 IMDB Rating 7.4
"Life is petty is Casablanca."

Oh, no.... that movie never happened, because of the war.

So we never figured out that part.

Damn war....

*starts to get angry*

Damn Catholic trash, fucking historic re-enactment, fucking wars and past shit.... what it wrong with me! Why am I such a bad person!

"Remember, to let her under your skin, then you begin...."

(Also has a model.)
charidotes20's rating:
People who added this item 1465 Average listal rating (937 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 6.3
Date Night (2019)
Best movie poster, ever.

It's my desktop.
charidotes20's rating:
People who added this item 720 Average listal rating (471 ratings) 5.6 IMDB Rating 5.9
Two things:

1. In "50/50", on Jessica Stanley's bookshelf.

2. Best movie ever made.

Also consider:

Tom Cruise is not like Alec Baldwin. Tom Cruise is like a sports analyst, whereas Alec Baldwin, on the other hand, is more like a stockbroker or something like that. ("Relax, I've played a pilot before.")

.... Paul Rudd, on the other hand?

"Almost nothing like a stockbroker."
charidotes20's rating:
People who added this item 2645 Average listal rating (1820 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 7.6
Despicable Me (2010)
Finally, a kids movie that's like a.... real... fucking... *movie*. And like, part of the whole film deal and EVERYTHING. And not like church or the video game "Civilization" or random liberal bullshit activism or.... Catholicism....

[~ lul. "Get your ski-masks; we're going to Aspen!" 'Dia duit.' 'Dia's Muire duit.' No, children, no! Remember what Paul McCartney taught us-- 'There will be an answer; let it be.'.... *God, that's funny*....]

.... Or just generally, Eh, they're just kids. Eh, we'll just bullshit it.

.... Eh, they're just girls. Eh, we'll just let them blow stuff up. Eh, that's what girls like to do.

.... Eh, they'll let anyone have a blog these days.

NO. No, this is NOT "they'll let anyone have a blog these days".

This is a Steve Carell movie.

And he rescued Jason Segel from the Muppets.

Ballet is real.

And Strauss is a hero.

*Barney on Jim Abbott* *points* "*Hero.*"
charidotes20's rating:
(N.B. I guess that I'll just add the notes out of order, even though there's sorta a reason why I tried, at least, to organize them in a certain way.)

"When a man.... when a man...."

When a man works with two women, one an actress, and the other a director, who is also a woman, actually....

(And other people.... OMG! that was *his wife in real life* who played the wife who ran out on him in practically the first scene! THAT is why.... I mean, things like THAT are oh so WAY much better in a movie, when you just think about it, than in real life.... And Martin Sheen, I do know him.... do you know that he once played a Confederate general in a war movie?)

The difference between comedians and other people, is that comedians-- good comedians-- always understand when they are making fun of themselves.

I mean, I called this "the anti-apocalypse" movie. I might almost have called it "the anti-Keira Knightley movie". I mean, sometimes I think about things, and I realize things.... and then I wonder if people realize that they are making fun of themselves in front of the entire world, and they don't even realize it. I mean, sometimes you need somebody's help to prove what a giant loser they are, and sometimes they help you.... not because they've had this giant realization themselves.... *but because they have NOT*. Oh, this is normal.... this is different.... This is different, and normal. They have no idea. They're not comedians.

I swear to God, I've really figured out Steve Carell this time, IMO, at least.

I mean, did you ever see the part of "How I Met Your Mother", where Barney stands up on the chair in the bar and tells everyone that he's "Ted Mosby" and then explains how he hates women.... and then nobody wants to date Ted because there's a "I hate Ted Mosby" website because Barney convinced everyone that Ted was a jackass because.... he acted like a jackass while calling himself "Ted".

I mean, Steve Carell obviously can't *pretend* to be Keira.... but he didn't have to. All that he had to was say, Hey Keira, do you want to prove to the whole world that you'd treat your boyfriend with garbage and all because you're obsessed with past ages and nonsense.... and that you'd treat your boyfriend like garbage because you're an abrasive little girl? And Keira said.... I, Keira Knightley, am a jackass to people because I'm just an abrasive little girl, and I just try to hide that up behind past centuries and ages and shit that sounds cool.

No, really, though-- that's how non-comedians act in comedies; they just stand there and explain what little jackasses they are and they don't even get it, like cartoon villains from 80s movies.

Sometimes it makes them seem a little bit less retarded, actually.... but only if they don't seem totally un-clued-in to what they're actually saying and what it all actually means.

Like married people. I mean, everyone *shows up* to their own wedding.... once in their life, at least.

Martin Sheen: To the beginning of the world. (Which one day soon, will not include the type of person that I am right now pretending to be, but perhaps am not actually.)

Steve Carell: I want to make a movie about an intelligent man who helps people save their marriages.

Keira Knightley: *obnoxious English accent* Well, I want to make a movie about this thousand-page novel that this monk from a different country wrote in a different language over a hundred years ago.

Steve Carell: *opens his mouth to say something* *doesn't say anything*

Lorene Scafaria: (thinks) God, that was good.

I mean, there's a reason why girls are actresses and not directors-- there really is-- but if you look at Keira Knightley's filmography, it's even worse than Natalie Portman's, who at least made "Black Swan", even if she did make it a harrowing experience for Winona Ryder.... I mean, Keira Knightley is just so damn mediocre-- I don't think that there's *one* of her films that isn't a historical drama, except for *Star Wars*.... Oh no, wait, there's *one*.... *sighs*. {I mean, that's the way it *seems*, *every* time there is a Keira Knightley thing on TV.... But of course, technically, there are these little exceptions.... *obnoxious British voice* I'm romantic, just like Liam Neeson.... Oh, God, another one of my fucking heroes.... And "Domino", another one of Liam Neeson's greatest fucking hits.... I almost was going to watch glad, glad I missed out.... Oh no, but I *did* see that, didn't I-- I saw "King Arthur" with Liam Neeson as the archer.... so that's what I was doing in 2004, what a fucking waste..... "Atonement".... "A Dangerous Method".... I can't watch that stuff, because I can't even fucking make fun of it; it makes fun of itself, without ever even realizing.... although if Johnny Depp can't make fun of himself, that's what we have Adam Sandler for, lol.... Although "Bend It Like Beckham" is alright-- if you want to know what's wrong with Keira Knightley.... and the fucking *prejudice* with which people treat Jane Austen, and the automatic stupidity.... the useless pride.... the hypocritical, possessive abusiveness with which these 'people'-- I mean, one day Keira Knightley and Colin Firth are going to get married and have a wretched, miserable time together, and it's going to be all their own damn fault.
And then there's going to say, Jane betrayed me, the stupid bitch, like the imbecile *chauvinist* hypocrites that they really are..... they are like each of them one half of a horse's ass, and *they deserve each other*....

And Lorena Scafaria is this kind of Jodi Picoult director.... and God knows that Steve Carell couldn't have had Ridley Scott directing one of his movies, anymore than Keira Knightley could have fought her way out of the Russian tundra wilderness with Daniel Craig.... against zombies.... oh, no, she'd take second place to *him*-- just not to a young, law-biding artist/guitar player guy.... God, what a hypocrite. What a freak, a fucking freak....

The Age of Pisces is over, children.

Other thoughts: Lorene Scafaria is a Jersey girl*, ("Jersey girls don't pump gas".... I guess that you peeps from out-of-state might not be aware), and Keira Knightley isn't even a bloody American. (Just like Ridley Scott-- that pompous little bastard....) [Do you remember the tagline for "The Pacific"? ~ "Hell was an ocean away." ^^ That's like something out of Jane Austen, you guys. It really is.]

*I know where Red Bank is, they actually do have some theater and stuff there, from what I've heard.... I should get out more and such. I did see this in theatres, though-- in the mall. The one in Eatontown-- Monmouth Mall. I actually used to live in Keyport, which is I guess even closer to Red Bank.... *does Wikipedia* Or, maybe slightly farther away.

Steve Carell pretended to be from New Jersey once.

{.... I'm glad that I do alot of walking, because I get alot of ideas from the good fairies while I'm walking about....

~So I hate you, Keira. But not just for me. For all people. ('Empires of *Rome*'....) *laughs*

*suddenly gets serious* You know, that girl that I was in love with when I was fourteen was probably exactly like Nancy Carell.... none of the girls that I actually like are anything like....

(The stupid little britbitch, it's like she was born in 1937 and she's already 97 years old, *somehow*, don't ask me.... too much fucking 'Downton Abbey'-- the first season was like a movie, but I stopped watching after that.... it's all just crass commercialism now.... or, you know.... *we should hope for so much from some people*.....)

What is, *wrong* with me....}
charidotes20's rating:
People who added this item 303 Average listal rating (193 ratings) 6.2 IMDB Rating 6.3
You know, Ed Harris may be a bit of a "usual suspect" type of character, but do you know why I felt slightly less against him than Tommy Lee Jones? (Note to Tom Cruise haters: Tom Cruise? Or Tommy Lee Jones? Oh, shit, when you put it like that.... hmmm....) Ed Harris was born in New Jersey, albeit in 1950. Tommy Lee Jones is from *Texas*. And Will Ferrell-- you know where he's from? California. And you know who else is from California? Clint Eastwood. I guess that it must be *John Steinbeck's California*.

[Jason Segel: *is hurt inside* Hey man. I'm California too. Okay., Okay.]

And Meryl Streep is a Jersey girl.

They should have done it with Harris. New Jersey's influence would have spread far and wide.... *and so on in a cartoon voice*

*shrugs* With a little help from that boy from Boston.

You know, sometimes it's amazing how many different films remind me of "Jack and Jill" (2011), with Adam Sandler and Katie Holmes.

But I don't know, whatever. It's all pretty obvious.

Old people are from a different land.

And that's why there was a hurricane. Because while it may have been a hurricane of despair, it was also a hurricane of.... hope.

You know, that Giants guy even wore a hat that said, New Jersey, on it. Actually it just showed his face. I've always thought that New Jersey looked like a man.

And now, New Jersey is a man that has finally gotten, the respect, that he so richly deserves. ^^

I don't usually like to switch it up like that, but sometimes I switch it up like that if it makes me feel happy. ^^

.... And that old lady is still.... I mean, Clint Eastwood? Really? Although I guess that she's not British; I thought that she was British.

Actually I hate lots of people from New Jersey. Like Jack Nicholson. What a goddamn romantic, that guy.
charidotes20's rating:
People who added this item 865 Average listal rating (565 ratings) 6.3 IMDB Rating 6.7
On second thought-- I will add one more thing to the list. It's something that I haven't seen yet.... and I hope that the symbolism of that doesn't become too bitter.

It certainly doesn't seem to be as popular as his others-- if the television is an indication-- and I personally think that it's damn weird that the most popular movie that he's been in-- according to listal.... "according to Hoyle"-- is *still* "Bruce Almighty", which was made in *2003*.... I mean, really, guys? Really? And starring Jim Carrey.

And the fact that he even made a *sequel* to this-- in *2007*, along with Nelson Mandela ~ where was Eddie Murphy when this happened? ~ is something that I find faintly disturbing.

(And I cannot escape the thought, especially after the sort of attitude that certain people are allowed to air out, even on the set of a movie called "Crazy, Stupid, Love"-- that no matter how old William Shatner was in 1982, well, he was a captain in the military.... in his own mind, at least....)

It's important to mention the help that Steve Carell gave to others, however, even when perhaps he was not at his best: in "Dan in Real Life" (2007) saw the first screen appearance of CJ Adams, who later starred in "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" (2012), along with Jennifer Garner. He was also there for Seth Rogen-- who was one of the guys who helped him make "The 40-Year-Old Virgin"-- in 2007, and Rogen is one of the most promising young actors around today, especially from the standpoint of comedy.... along with Paul Rudd, who might well still be just another 'Hamlet' actor, (dare I say another Patrick Stewart-y mediocrity?) if it were not for Steve Carell. (And so Steve Carell showed up to be in "Knocked Up", even though certain aspects of the premise of the story and some of its assumptions-- 'If you're.... then you're not....!' could not be entirely assuring to a man like him.... one might say, that there really are some things that put the "crazy" and the "stupid" in "Crazy, Stupid, Love": in an age of anxiety.... and not always in the good way....)

In a way it's been chance, somewhat, that I saw the seven films of Steve's that I have seen.... but maybe it was also something more than chance, somehow.

It might be cruel-seeming to say that, from the perspective of his film, two-thousand six, seven, eight, and nine are the years that the moth hath eaten.... or, almost, at least.

Perhaps it bears repeating that debt that guys like Seth Rogen and especially Paul Rudd.... and myself!.... owe to Steve.

And he did help CJ Adams as well, and that's also interesting from the standpoint of comparison, when you think about where Jennifer Garner was that year.... and what her movie was called.

Still, some ironies remain, and sometimes irony can be a bitter beast. After 2005 comes 2006-- and all those awards that he won for pretending to be Frank Ginsburg....

For pretending to be the very person that he was trying so hard not to be.

And then, there's the fact that even from 2005, he had to show up every day to "The Office".... again, to pretend to be the man that he was trying so hard....

Not to be.

(Patrick Stewart.)

.... I wouldn't know what else to say.

What more.....?

The bitter legacy of "The Daily Show" and all that he tried not to carry with him.... even when he was tired. (And its apotheosis-- Ferrell as "Anchorman"....)

*commercial on during 'Mission: Impossible'*

Ed Helms: Today, Jon is going to sit down with Ryan Gosling, whose latest book, "The Notebook", has....

Sam Bee: *gives look*

Ed Helms: What, I was just kidding. Jon is going to sit down with Vali Nasr, whose latest book, *cough* Iraq, *cough* Middle East, will give the confidence that you need to give your girlfriend a good, solid, put-down the next time that she asks to see "50 First Dates" with you....

Jon Stewart: *writing or pretending to* *mutters to self* "Well, if you want to go to intensive couples counseling, then you can go all by yourself, because I'm not going." *aloud* Hey, guess what guys! I learned on the Science Channel that primitive people worshiped ancient gods and demons and they sucked! I'm modern! A-hahaha! This is going to be a great show!

Steve Carell: *takes off mic* *throws down some papers* I can't do this anymore. *starts to walk away*

Ed Helms: Hey, where you going, buddy? Your bathroom break isn't for another fifteen minutes!


'I don't believe the liberal media.' ~ But you watch the action movies, you dumb twit.


"Dorothy Boyd: thank you."


~Because, basically, before 2005, Steve Carell was nobody-- or to us, at least.

And after.... he was somebody.... although, still, only just somebody.

But, still.... not everybody becomes anybody.

And not everyone does what's good.

.... Come Together. Right now. Over me. COME TOGETHER.

Steve Carell was born in 1962, the same year that Tom Cruise was. (Both men turned 50 in 2012.) But although Cruise would become famous as early as the 1980s, in "Top Gun" (1986), for example, the type of movies that Steve Carell-- and Judd Apatow and others-- would become famous for making later, did not really exist back then. (TANGENT: It is true that the careers of some, or a very few, at least, of the actors currently in comedy do extend all the back to the 80s-- Eddie Murphy, for example, made a stand-up comedy film "Eddie Murphy Raw" in 1987. But even a glance at his filmography should show, I think, the sort of, *limitations*, that a man like him faced back then, *as a comedian*, since that decade was certainly a very sparse feeding ground for anyone that did not want to do action-drama or to stare into the "Eye of the Tiger" (1982 song) generally. ("If you stare into the abyss...." .... "Thus do I counsel you, my friends....") Murphy's subsequent career picked up somewhat in the 90s-- most famously, "The Nutty Professor" (1996)-- and even more later, with the animated "Shrek" (2001, sequels later), and even "A Thousand Words" (2012).... as a comedian with a very long career-- roughly as long as Nicholas Cage's, for example, a drama actor-- he is an interesting example of the slow thawing of American cinema to that which is, in the words of the hit sitcom Seinfeld, "about nothing", or, more kindly, merely funny and relevant to the real world that we all live in.... But the reception and the attitude that some people had and have towards the work of Murphy and those like him also show how slow and even limited this thawing was.... The 90s was certainly a time in which the movie industry lingered long and carefully over the question of unfairness in our country, and it is good that such things were thought about deeply. But it also seems clear that a great many people did not really think about whether they were being fair in heaping praise on many films like "The Hurricane"--"His greatest fight was for justice"-- and scornfully mocking stuff like "The Nutty Professor"-- "Inside Sherman Klump, a party animal was about to break loose." After all, it is true that both Denzel Washington and Eddie Murphy are from New York, but this idea extends far beyond the borders of New York State....) (So. Anyway.)

It is true that Tom Cruise later went on to make a character study, as some drama actors do. (Incidentally, Washington's 2012 film "Flight" can also be read as a character study.) Tom made "Jerry Maguire" (1996), which bears some interesting parallels, from the point of view of character, to his other 1996 film, "Mission: Impossible". (And it is interesting, when you think about America in the 90s-- "Seinfeld", for example, or George Costanza, and the sort of difficulty which people felt dominating their lives, such as in "The Chinese Restaurant" episode (1991)-- which is soaked in a sort of blanket feeling of futility.... this was the world in which a movie called "Mission: Impossible" was a wildly successful and popular film.) But Tom Cruise, as everybody knows, is not a comedian. He's more of a New Yorker-- to allow some of my Jersey prejudice to seep through. ^^

But Steve Carell is more of that Boston schoolboy kind of guy, who's recently learned to have alot of fun re-inventing himself.

It is true that the 80s (his twenties) would not have been such a great time for him in cinema: we can only imagine the sort of role the casting lady might have assigned him in a film like "The Breakfast Club" (1985). (And, for that matter, we can only imagine what role he might have received in "Mission: Impossible" {1996}.) But, on the positive side, he did earn a university degree in 1984, at the age of 22. It is easy to imagine Steve Carell as a very serious, studious young man. (We can only imagine the sort of dismissive things that The 22-Year-Old Carell would have said about "Twilight" if he had been 22 in 2008 instead of 1984.)

And eventually he became a famous actor. He's even been a producer, which means that he has a lot of money; he's even an investor, lol. Anyway.

Steve Carell's career can more or less be divided into his "early" (or, broadly-speaking, his "suck-y" ka-rear) career, and his later-- real-- career. And the dividing line is very clear: it comes with the release of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" in 2005. (Also the year that the TV comedy "How I Met Your Mother" went on the air, as well as the publication of a certain novel who's title eludes me somehow.) His early career can be further divided-- sorta-- into his *very* early career, before 1999, when he became a correspondent on "The Daily Show", which some people do remember. (And although it is true that one guy from "The Daily Show" got the one job in 2010 undoubtedly thanks to his previous acquaintance with Carell, if you think about what Steve became.... it is unlikely that Jon Stewart ever gave him advice.... ever was his Ryan Gosling.) His work in the 90s is basically very.... fragmentary; it tends to be the sort of just jobs, odd jobs and stuff, which is even weird to mention next to his real work. (Although he did get married in 1995, at the age of 33, to his wife, Nancy. Such is the stuff of real life, but as far as The Outside World is concerned, he was probably about as well known to.... do we have a word like 'foodie'? Are we like Anthony Bourdain?.... as she was.) [~ *flicks hands* 'Your movies mean nothing to me. Nothing.' Remember Murphy's Law? Well, Eddie doesn't want you to believe that-- that must have been his father that made up that rubbish.... Although sometimes I think: the show-- uh.... the *bad people* died out in Hollywood, not during the 80s, but after the 80s.... so the 80s, that was it.... well, maybe during the 90s, they must have died out during the 90s.... and Clintie is really old, and you know, and at least he's the *really cool one*, ('only the truly great show--*cough*, uh, *bad people* may still....'), not like.... *face falls* Shit. Tom Berenger is still making movies?]

In Steve Carell's late-early not-quite-real career, from 1999-2004, (or even in early 2005, before August) he occasionally got noticed, most famously as part of the cast of "Anchorman" with Will Ferrell. But it's interesting to note that his next job after this was "Sleepover", a small comedy where he plays as an extra. (Also, it's interesting to note how little comedy was actually made in 2004: it is true that Ben Stiller was in "Meet the Fockers" and Ryan Gosling was in "The Notebook", but aside from that there is really very little else-- and especially if you do not count animation.) And all actors have roles where they are "uncredited archival footage" or something like that (or Matt Damon as an extra in "Field of Dreams" in 1989), and, to me, at least, for Steve Carell in particular, some of these very early films that he was in do not really seem, to me, a fan, like they are really 'true' Steve Carell movies. In "Anchorman", a Will Ferrell movie, again Ferrell in pre-August 2005 with "Melinda and Melinda" and "Bewitched" or even Jim Carrey, another one of these from-the-80s comedians, about whom we can at least say that he's not Will Ferrell, I guess.... he was merely that crazy disturbing guy from "The Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind".

A personal note: my name is Ted, and the idea of Patrick Stewart being the narrator of my life, as he apparently is in "Ted" (2012), is something that I find deeply disturbing, on the level of 'the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' disturbing.

The idea that there is an episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" called "Ted" is also faintly disturbing (to me!), although I am happy to report that Ted Mosby from "How I Met Your Mother" is, if I may be so bold, a valid Ted. (I am a gift!.... Je suis *ein Gift*.... and I even have a poster too-- THEODORE BEAR. Someone was trying to throw him away! But I saved.... me.)

(And so too-- one day, Steven Spielberg will feel the power of the true Steve!)

(I actually have an Uncle Steve too-- my mother's brother. Kinda funny....)

Anyway, from 2005 on, Steve Carell would have a brand new day, and his work would now be part of his real work. You might call this 2005-2012 period, Seven Years With Steve. And I think that it is amazing what he would accomplish in just seven years. (And later-- more!)

And, at the very least, he would show anyone who was even faintly paying attention, that he was a rather different sort of man, than Will Ferrell.

Or, indeed, perhaps also different from that which he had been....


I mean, all that I can say is that if Steve Carell played golf (with Paul Blart), then.... he wouldn't play golf.... *he would destroy it*.

(With a really old gun.)

"I'm a big man in Boston, but Boston's a small town."

*much later* *alone* *implied mocking*

" 'I'm a big man in Boston.' "

.... You know, there used to be a lot of Irish in Boston or something-- "Faile {fawlty} go mBoston" {moston}/Welcome to Boston-- so maybe that's why I, Mr Keating, feel this deep racial connection with Steve Carell....

.... Or maybe it's that we both have that hard 'k' sound at the beginning of our last name.


Tom Cruise: And I want everybody to see you for what you are.... you are-- *sees fortune cookie slips, picks them up*-- you are the man.

*looks at fortune cookies, reads them aloud* "Friendship is an ocean, that you cannot see the bottom." *smiles* " 'Some dudes might have the coin, but they'll never have the "kwan": it means "love".' " *smiles* That was a good movie.

*reads the other fortune cookie* "The wise man is the one that makes you think that he is dumb." *starts laughing* " 'Don't worry, I'm not going to do, what you all think that I'm going to do, which is just, to *flip out*....' "

" 'We're gonna be okay.' "

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