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A Woody Allen selection (with quotes)
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My selection of films directed by Woody Allen, and also 2 he starred in- Play it Again Sam, and The Front. In year order.
My favourites:
Manhattan
Hannah and her Sisters
Broadway Danny Rose
Crimes and Misdemeanors
QUOTES:
“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!”
"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”
“To you, I'm an atheist.
To God, I'm the loyal opposition.”
“Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.”
“God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.”
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”
“I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.”
“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.”
“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
“I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.”
“If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”
“If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.”
(Hannah and Her Sisters)
“Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.”
“I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”
“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”
"Mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."
"Don't knock masturbation- it's sex with someone you love."
My favourites:
Manhattan
Hannah and her Sisters
Broadway Danny Rose
Crimes and Misdemeanors
QUOTES:
“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!”
"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”
“To you, I'm an atheist.
To God, I'm the loyal opposition.”
“Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.”
“God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.”
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”
“I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.”
“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.”
“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
“I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.”
“If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”
“If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.”
(Hannah and Her Sisters)
“Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.”
“I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”
“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”
"Mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."
"Don't knock masturbation- it's sex with someone you love."
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