When Censors Get Stupid

Original: the sign says "I hate n*****s." (I feel uncomfortable using the actual word. It's just how I was raised.)
Censored:


McClane is made to enter Harlem with the sign and a group of young black men confront him. It actually turned out to be more racist by changing the N bomb to "everybody".

Original: "How'd you get the beauty scar, tough guy? Eating pussy?"
"How am I going to get a scar like that eating pussy, man?"
Censored: "How'd you get the beauty scar, tough guy? Eating pineapple?"
"How am I going to get a scar like that eating pineapple, man?"

What would have been funny is if it were papaya, rather than pineapple. The word "papaya" has two meanings in Mexican Spanish - the fruit itself and, well, you can probably guess.
A funny irony is that they censored the F bombs and P bombs, yet they didn't dub over the word "coño", which is the Spanish equivalent of the infamous C word.

Original: "Yippy kaiyay, motherfucker."
Censored: multiple versions

Actually I can think of more than one example. There is of course the "Mr. Falcon" version. The big MF has also been changed to "monkey funker", "mother chicken", and "Mr. Sucker." I'm sure there have been others.

Original: "I don't wear second-hand clothes, and I won't have a second-hand kid!"
Censored: "I don't wear second-hand clothes, and I wanna have my own kid!"

Isn't that kind of saying the same thing? If anything, it's a little more offensive. Of course, the whole point was to point out what a bitch the character is, so why censor it at all? Oh shit! I'm going cross-eyed.

Original: "She took a giant shit on my face."
Censored: "She took a giant spit on my face."

Why, exactly, are so many Americans so uptight about the word "shit"? Not that long ago, it was possible to hear the N word on American TV while the considerably more innocent word "shit" was censored. As if we needed any more proof of how badly fucked up American society really is.

Original: "I'm sick of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane."
Censored: "I'm sick of these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!"

This has got to be one of the most bizarre examples.
By the way, wouldn't we rather have the snakes on the plane fighting monkeys than attacking passengers and/or their pets?

Original: "Drop that stereo before I blow your God damn nuts off asshole!"
Censored: "Drop that stereo before I blow your gosh darn knees off egg roll!"

Somebody included this downright retarded example of censorship in the comment section for this YouTube video:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4koLWPq2qDY

When I first read the comment, I could only do a facepalm.