British Mystery: Jonathan Creek

Years: 1997-2014
Broadcaster: BBC
Written by: David Renwick
Stars: Alan Davies, Caroline Quentin
Episodes: 31
Episode Average: 7.677*

BEST EPISODES:
The Black Canary (1998), Jack in the Box (1997)

*including specials

SERIES ONE

(1997)
5 episodes
Series Score: 42
Episode Average: 8.4
Perfect 10's: 1

S1E1

THE WRESTLER'S TOMB

Originally broadcast: 10 May 1997
Directed by: Marcus Mortimer
Written by: David Renwick

An artist is shot twice in the chest, Adam takes a fancy to a pretty girl in the audience, and Jonathan tries to work out how someone could leave an office without being seen.

"I've learned to keep my mouth shut. Ever since I told one of his girlfriends he had a hairpiece. She thought I said 'herpes' and tried to circumcise him with a tin opener!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

JACK IN THE BOX

Originally broadcast: 17 May 1997
Directed by: Marcus Mortimer
Written by: David Renwick

Maddy helps free a man she believes was wrongly convicted of murder, an arthritic old comedian is found shot dead in baffling circumstances, and Jonathan is troubled by not being able to see what he has seen.

"Yeah, could you just glance at the road, do you think, every now and then? That way we might get to keep all our limbs and organs?!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

THE RECONSTITUTED CORPSE

Originally broadcast: 24 May 1997
Directed by: Marcus Mortimer
Written by: David Renwick

An elephant dies of a heart attack during a magic trick, a surgeon is murdered, and a body appears inside an empty wardrobe.

"I don't know what I want. I'm not even hungry. Drop of chilli will do me, with some rice. And a spot of salad... and some garlic bread. A jacket potato. Oh, and some crisps."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

NO TRACE OF TRACY

Originally broadcast: 31 May 1997
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

An ageing rocker's handcuffed to a radiator after being knocked unconscious, witnesses see a girl enter a house that she never enters, and Maddy finds a note on her car after being thrown out of the investigation.

"If she calls me Abracadabra once more, I may go berserk with that emery board, file down her face till it resembles a hard-boiled egg."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

THE HOUSE OF MONKEYS

Originally broadcast: 7 June 1997
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

A doctor's found impaled on a samurai sword in his locked study, Jonathan's told he should do more exercise, and Maddy sees red during a moment of passion.

"No, it's just... you know when you leave a beetroot in the larder too long and it goes all sweaty?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

SERIES TWO

(1998)
6 episodes
Series Score: 49
Episode Average: 8.17
Perfect 10's: 0

S2E1

DANSE MACABRE

Originally broadcast: 24 January 1998
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Jonathan shares a bath with a pretty singer, a writer is shot dead on All Hallows' Eve, and two become one in a closed garage.

"Come on! It's prime girlie material, isn't it, reincarnation? Falls into the same category of persuasive bollocks as astrology."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

TIME WAITS FOR NORMAN

Originally broadcast: 31 January 1998
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Jonathan gets up and close and personal with the tax inspector, a returned wallet causes confusion, and a photograph seems to prove that a man was in two places at the same time.

"I'm not surprised. Didn't you get suspicious when you were running your fingers through her hair and she wasn't even in the room?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

THE SCENTED ROOM

Originally broadcast: 7 February 1998
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

A valuable painting disappears from the home of a theatre critic, Jonathan refuses to reveal how it was done, and Maddy tries desperately to get to the truth so she claim the reward.

"All right. Where's the mirror? Just to remind myself what a gullible prat looks like."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

THE PROBLEM AT GALLOWS GATE: PART 1

Originally broadcast: 14 February 1998
Directed by: Keith Washington
Written by: David Renwick

A man commits suicide by jumping from a balcony, Adam's not best pleased when his sister turns up to stay, and a blind musician sees too much.

"Pop this under your tongue. It's rectal, but it's clean."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

THE PROBLEM AT GALLOWS GATE: PART 2

Originally broadcast: 21 February 1998
Directed by: Keith Washington
Written by: David Renwick

A set of fingerprints point to the impossible, a cesspit is searched in an attempt to find a missing tape, and Jonathan and Maddy get thrown out of a computer showroom.

"How can Hadrian's wall run north to south? What, the Romans divided the country up lengthwise, now did they?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

MOTHER REDCAP

Originally broadcast: 28 February 1998
Directed by: Keith Washington
Written by: David Renwick

A high court judge is killed with a rapier, Maddy's asked to help with an investigation into a series of unsolved murders from the 1940s, and Jonathan gets distracted by tongue action.

"I suppose a fork's out the question?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

SPECIAL

(1998)

SPECIAL

BLACK CANARY

Originally broadcast: 24 December 1998
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Jonathan receives a call from a woman he almost had a relationship with, a man witness his wife commit suicide, and Maddy's told about a magic trick rehearsal that went wrong.

"That's it now, is it... Through the swirling fog of Victorian London, a young girl is slashed to ribbons by Toad of Toad Hall?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

SERIES THREE

(1999-2000)
6 episodes
Series Score: 47
Episode Average: 7.83
Perfect 10's: 2

S3E1

SPEARFISH

Originally broadcast: 27 November 1999
Directed by: Keith Washington
Written by: David Renwick

Jonathan's shocked to find Maddy's underwear on the floor, a man experiences strange events after apparently doing a deal with the devil, and Adam's accused of indecent behaviour.

"God! I'm in absolute agony here, Jonathan! What the hell did you put in this bra, quick-drying cement?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E2

THE EYES OF TIRESIAS

Originally broadcast: 4 December 1999
Directed by: Keith Washington
Written by: David Renwick

Jonathan wakes to find his home being used as a film set, Maddy discovers that three's a crowd, and an old woman's troubled to find her nightmares coming true.

"Yeah, well, I walked past his dressing room earlier on, and his chest hair was hanging up in a Sketchley bag."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E3

THE OMEGA MAN

Originally broadcast: 11 December 1999
Directed by: Keith Washington
Written by: David Renwick

Maddy's offered the biggest story of her life, a skeleton vanishes from a locked crate, and Jonathan finds himself helping the American military.

"It's got a slight look of a Millwall supporter I once went out with."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E4

GHOST'S FORGE

Originally broadcast: 18 December 1999
Directed by: Richard Holthouse
Written by: David Renwick

Jonathan finds five copies of the same book in the house of an unsolved murder, Maddy ends up red-faced, and a vanishing act puzzles a know-it-all.

"and yes, I think you're right. Any woman who bring you a shirt back with the words 'I am full of shit' on it, I'd say has got the measure of you very well indeed."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E5

MIRACLE IN CROOKED LANE

Originally broadcast: 28 December 1999
Directed by: Richard Holthouse
Written by: David Renwick

A glamour model's badly burned when a shed explodes, Jonathan's bemused at the idea of having a fan club, and a seemingly honest woman claims to have witnessed the impossible.

"Four hours in a wigwam with a bunch of sad acts who know more about me than I do. Two of those guys are living in windmills. That's like one step away from Travis Bickle in 'Taxi Driver'."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E6

THE THREE GAMBLERS

Originally broadcast: 2 January 2000
Directed by: Richard Holthouse
Written by: David Renwick

Jonathan choose a night of alternative magic for his birthday treat, a corpse in a cellar seemingly crawls up a flight of stairs, and Adam has a Woody Allen moment.

"That'll be me. I'm wearing Calvin Klein 'Stench of Death' parfum de toilette."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

SPECIAL

(2001)

SPECIAL

SATAN'S CHIMNEY

Originally broadcast: 26 December 2001
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

Jonathan teams up with Adam's booking agent, an actress is killed after apparently being shot through an unbroken window, and an escapologist accepts a challenge to take on a legendary chamber of death.

"You're not serious? Vernon Spools? And he's in the betting business? What did he do? Go through your drawers and hit the jackpot?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

SERIES FOUR

(2003-2004)
6 episodes
Series Score: 47
Episode Average: 7.83
Perfect 10's: 1

S4E1

THE COONSKIN CAP

Originally broadcast: 1 March 2003
Directed by: Christine Gernon
Written by: David Renwick

A crime show brings attention to a series of murders, a policewoman is strangled in a gym, and Carla can't forgive Jonathan for something he said about her father.

"Don't think I didn't clock it, what was going through your grubby brain yesterday. When he said I was the new anchor in the studio. I could see you thinking it."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E2

ANGEL HAIR

Originally broadcast: 8 March 2003
Directed by: Christine Gernon
Written by: David Renwick

The husband of a pop star wonders how a woman's hair can grow back in 48 hours, Jonathan gets involved with a woman still mourning a past relationship, and a puppet proves to be a big problem.

"I mean, Jonathan's never going to win prizes at Crufts. You can see that."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E3

THE TAILOR'S DUMMY

Originally broadcast: 15 March 2003
Directed by: Christine Gernon
Written by: David Renwick

A fashion designer jumps to his death as his family watch on, Adam's female assistants keep quitting, and a journalist is shocked when her assailant seems to change into a completely different person.

"I'm sorry. Next time, I'll wear a roll of lino."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E4

THE SEER OF THE SANDS

Originally broadcast: 14 February 2004
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

The body of a supernatural investigator vanishes after he crashes his boat, Adam decides he might need a little help with security, and a gypsy provides a message from beyond the grave.

"Two and a half miles we've been walking like this now, like a BBC publicity photo."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E5

THE CHEQUERED BOX

Originally broadcast: 21 February 2004
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

A man dies in bed with walnuts sewn into his pyjamas, a detective is photographed in a compromising position, and Adam's accused of sexual harassment.

"Funny, isn't it? When people ask me what first attracted me to this business, the words 'I might one day get to scrape bird crap off a guy on a cross' rarely spring to my lips."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E6

GORGONS WOOD

Originally broadcast: 28 February 2004
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

A priceless statue vanishes from a museum, Carla does a signing session for her new video, and Adam goes on a reality TV show.

"All I'm saying is... You put a tape like this in the shops with a free box of tissues, it may not give off the signals you intend."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SPECIAL

(2009)

SPECIAL

THE GRINNING MAN

Originally broadcast: 1 January 2009
Directed by: David Renwick
Written by: David Renwick

Adam invests in the adult entertainment industry, Jonathan discovers he's been dead for five years, and a young woman disappears from a room with a deadly past.

"Well, he'd say anything wouldn't he, for six pints of Ruddles and a shepherd's pie! And that's what you imagine I look like, is it? Thank you very much. He lives in a pile of gravel by the canal!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

SPECIAL

(2010)

SPECIAL

THE JUDAS TREE

Originally broadcast: 4 April 2010
Directed by: David Renwick
Written by: David Renwick

A girl witnesses a cottage disappear in a country field, a cleaner tells the story of a 19th century curse, and a woman falls to her death after receiving threatening letters.

"I've got a meeting just down the road at six and I suddenly remembered it was round here somewhere you always hold your top secret rehearsals. Of course, I didn't know the exact address, I had to ask a woman at the bus stop..."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

SPECIAL

(2013)

SPECIAL

THE CLUE OF THE SAVANT'S THUMB

Originally broadcast: 1 April 2013
Directed by: David Renwick
Written by: David Renwick

A woman's haunted by a death of a fellow pupil at her boarding school, the body of a man disappears from a locked room, and Jonathan's new life is met with surprise.

"Some of these dates they've sent for the book tour, I don't think they're gonna work, unfortunately. July the 15th, I'll be up to my eyes in 'The Winslow Boy'. That's Terrence Rattigan for any tabloid reporters listening in. And the third and fourth of August, I'll still be colour-grading Robin Cook. And then I'm afraid the last week of November's not good for me as I'll be dead. Any chance they could bring that one forward for me at all?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 4

SERIES FIVE

(2014)
3 episodes
Series Score: 12
Episode Average: 4.0
Perfect 10's: 0

S5E1

THE LETTERS OF SEPTIMUS NOONE

Originally broadcast: 28 February 2014
Directed by: David Sant
Written by: David Renwick

Jonathan chops off a horse's head, an actress is found stabbed in her dressing room, and a box of letters reveal details of a secret romance.

"I might know he'd try and bite me in the neck! No! We have to assume that everyone in the theatre is a vampire now do we?"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 0
TOTAL: 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E2

THE SINNER AND THE SANDMAN

Originally broadcast: 7 March 2014
Directed by: David Sant
Written by: David Renwick

Jonathan mistakenly frees two burglars, sightings of a beast at night remind Polly of a childhood nightmare, and predictions of winning lottery numbers are found under layers of wallpaper.

"Yeah, I'll give that a go. As for this wrist, still giving me grief. Can you believe, just from smacking the sauce out?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E3

THE CURSE OF THE BRONZE LAMP

Originally broadcast: 14 March 2014
Directed by: David Sant
Written by: David Renwick

The wife of a minister is kidnapped, Polly isn't happy about having a rival for Jonathan's attention, and a friend asks for help with a dead male prostitute.

"Well it's bound to be. Everything's illegal now. There'll be some European statute governing the re-immersion of corpses in water without their written consent. I don't know."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

SPECIAL

(2016)

SPECIAL

DAEMON'S ROOST

Originally broadcast: 28 December 2016
Directed by: Sandy Johnson
Written by: David Renwick

A retired horror film director offers to tell his estranged stepdaughter how her family died, a stroke leaves him unable to reveal the truth, and Jonathan gets involved when three witnesses see a spirit leaving a grave.

"Funny... maybe not laugh loud, but it's... witty by implication. What you've got is a scarecrow that's scaring crows by means of a person who made a very scary movie about crows scaring people so it's... it's subliminally ironic."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

JONATHAN
CREEK

Played by Alan Davies
32 episodes (1997-2016)
in... Jack in the Box (1997)

MADDY
MAGELLAN

Played by Caroline Quentin
18 episodes (1997-2000)
in... The Wrestler's Tomb (1997)

CARLA
BORREGO

Played by Julia Sawalha
7 episodes (2001-2004)
in... Satan's Chimney (2001)

JOEY
ROSS

Played by Sheridan Smith
3 episodes (2009-2013)
in... The Judas Tree (2010)

POLLY
CREEK

Played by Sarah Alexander
5 episodes (2013-2016)
in... The Curse of the Brass Lamp (2014)

ADAM
KLAUS

Played by Stuart Milligan
15 episodes (1998-2010)
in... Ghost's Forge (1999)

ADAM
KLAUS

Played by Anthony Head
1 episodes (1997)
in... The Wrestler's Tomb (1997)

BRENDAN
BAXTER

Played by Adrian Edmondson
5 episodes (2003-2004)
in... The Coonskin Cap (2003)

BARRY
OPPER

Played by Geoffrey McGivern
4 episodes (1997-1998)
in... The Reconstituted Corpse (1997)

KENNY
STARKISS

Played by Bill Bailey
2 episodes (2001-2003)
in... Satan's Chimney (2001)

DI
GIDEON PRYKE

Played by Rik Mayall
2 episodes (1998-2013)
in... Black Canary (1998)

KITTY

Played by Jennifer Piercey
2 episodes (1998)
in... The Problem at Gallows Gate: Part 1 (1998)

YASMIN

Played by Rae Baker
1 episode (1997)

FRANCESCA BOUTRON

Played by Saskia Mulder
1 episode (1997)

BRIDGET

Played by Martina Laird
1 episode (1998)

TESSA

Played by Frankie Park
1 episode (1998)

MELISSA & JUDY

Played by Sophie Langham/Jocelyn Hughes
1 episode (1998)

PETRA

Played by Amanda Holden
2 episodes (1998)

ELSA

Played by Simone Huber
1 episode (1998)

CINDY

Played by Kezi Silverstone
1 episode (1999)

SAMANTHA

Played by Gina Bellman
1 episode (1999)