British Comedy: ...And Mother Makes Three/Five

Years: 1971-1976
Broadcaster: ITV (Thames)
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Richard Waring, Wendy Craig,
Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson, Brian Cooke,
Derek Collyer, David Cumming, George Evans,
Carla Lane, Johnnie Mortimer, Myra Taylor,
Lawrie Wyman
Stars: Wendy Craig, Robin Davies
Episodes: 52*
Episode Average: 4.962*

BEST EPISODE:
The Eve of the Day (1973), A Family Affair (1972)

*including 'And Mother Makes Five'.

Years: 1971-1973
Broadcaster: ITV (Thames)
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Richard Waring, Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson,
Derek Collyer, David Cumming, George Evans, Carla Lane,
Myra Taylor, Lawrie Wyman
Stars: Wendy Craig, Valerie Lush
Episodes: 26
Episode Average: 5.385

BEST EPISODE:
The Eve of the Day (1973), A Family Affair (1972)

SERIES ONE

(1971)
7 episodes
Series Score: 40
Episode Average: 5.71
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

SIMON'S HOLIDAY

Originally broadcast: 27 April 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson

Sally packs Simon's bag for a camping trip to stop him making more lists,
a test run in the garden leads to a sleepless night filled with fussing, and the children from next door pop round when he ends up catching a chill.

"Thank your lucky stars they're not keen on playing the piano."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

BIRTHDAY BIKE

Originally broadcast: 4 May 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson

Simon reveals that he's been trying to save enough money to buy a bike, Sally takes on some extra hours so she can surprise him on his birthday, and hiding it proves to be as difficult as getting it home in the first place.

"Mum's a real goer!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

A BIRD IN THE HAND

Originally broadcast: 11 May 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson

Sally offers to look after a mynah bird for a lady who needs an operation, finding his cage empty leaves her desperately looking for a replacement, and a pet shop owner is confused by a list of very peculiar requirements.

"My son Freda has an aunt called Arthur, oh no... My son Freda has a moustache called Arthur... I don't know."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

GET MOBILE

Originally broadcast: 18 May 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson

Peter turns to Pythagoras when the family try their best to Spot the Ball, Sally asks Mr. Campbell to lend her a car so she can have driving lessons, and Auntie's unimpressed when she picks up an old banger from a vicar.

"Before you spot the ball, can you spot the Auntie. I'm underneath you lot."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

SCHOOL FOR LOVE

Originally broadcast: 25 May 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson

Sally falls for Simon's teacher when she confronts him about his report, being invited to an art happening allows her to show her natural talent, and a date at a cocktail bar sees her get far too familiar with Tom Collins.

"I should get down if I were you, dear. If Peter opens fire now, he'll get a direct hit."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

POUND OF FLESH

Originally broadcast: 1 June 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson

Sally's utterly horrified when Peter tells her that she's got a wobbly bum, the boys bet her that she won't be able to lose as much weight as Auntie, and things quickly get tough when hunger starts to get the better of her.

"I'm sorry, it must be something I haven't eaten."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

MR. MUM

Originally broadcast: 8 June 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson

Sally panics when she wakes to the sound of strange voices in the house,
Simon and Peter are told to find hobbies when television is banned, and Auntie gets a nasty shock when she tries to spy on a very secret project.

"And I'm coming to the end... of my tether! That television set is on day and night. No homework ever gets done. You come home from school, you plonk yourselves down in front of it, and on Saturdays it's on from twenty to Thunderbirds to quarter past The Epilogue."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

SERIES TWO

(1971-1972)
6 episodes
Series Score: 29
Episode Average: 4.83
Perfect 10's: 0

S2E1

A HARD DAY OUT

Originally broadcast: 2 December 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Derek Collyer, David Cumming

Sally struggles with exhaustion during the long school summer holidays,
Auntie's not happy about being tied up and put in the broom cupboard, and Mr. Campbell's suggestion to wear them out leads to fun at the fair.

"Well, this morning you were ten minutes early, and since you've been here, you've made my coffee in the teapot, your tea in the percolator. You put that file on the hatstand. You put your hat in the filing cabinet."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

THE MATCHMAKERS

Originally broadcast: 9 December 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Carla Lane, Myra Taylor

Simon and Peter come up with the idea of finding their mum a husband,
Sally's not too happy when a randy admirer manages to track her down, and Mr. Campbell agrees to help her by playing the part of a rival suitor.

"Mrs. Harrison, after a morning with Daphne the cow, and an afternoon of Buster and the contents of his stomach, I think I could fancy anyone."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

GROWING PAINS

Originally broadcast: 16 December 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson

Sally protests when Simon talks about leaving school and getting a job.
a note suggests that he's run away from home to start a life as a soldier, and a recruitment officer points her in the direction of the intake camp.

"Dear Mum, I find it difficult to talk to you man-to-man, as you're a woman."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

BUT HOW CAN I TELL THEM?

Originally broadcast: 23 December 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: George Evans, Lawrie Wyman

The family accept an invitation to stay at Mr. Campbell's sister's cottage,
Sally has problems when she tries to find what she needs to iron a skirt, and her attempts to put everything right only make the situation worse.

"No, no, not on the table, dear. Mr. Campbell purchased it with the rest of the furniture. It's genuine reproduction, you know."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

ONCE A YEAR DAY

Originally broadcast: 30 December 1971
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally tells Auntie that the boys don't need reminding about her birthday,
a promise from Simon leaves her looking forward to an Italian meal, and talk about going to the cinema leads to a number of rather blatant hints.

"Good gracious! If you were at Queen Victoria's Coronation, I must have asked for Julius Caesar's autograph!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

ALL PLAY AND NO WORK

Originally broadcast: 6 January 1972
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Peter Buchanan, Peter Robinson

Mr. Campbell is forced to sack Sally because of the standard of her work,
Auntie helps by pointing her in the direction of a job at the boys' school, and a disagreement about staff dinners sees her try her luck elsewhere.

"Why don't you give him some of your macaroni cheese, that should shut him up."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SERIES THREE

(1972)
6 episodes
Series Score: 37
Episode Average: 6.17
Perfect 10's: 0

S3E1

GATHER YE MUSHROOMS WHILE YE MAY

Originally broadcast: 14 September 1972
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally complains to her new neighbour about rocks landing in her garden,
news that Mr. Campbell is moving away sees her go into agriculture, and applying for a job with a book expert means competing with dolly birds.

"I don't know what Mr. Campbell said to you, of course, but I think I've always satisfied him."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E2

FATHER FIGURE

Originally broadcast: 21 September 1972
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally denies that her great mood is because of her handsome new boss,
a dinner invitation reveals the truth about a shapely female friend, and Simon and Peter decide to show him that their mum's a bit of a swinger.

"And you can be relied on utterly to keep your head in an emergency. Especially, when as usually happens, you've been the cause of the emergency."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E3

GIRL TALK

Originally broadcast: 28 September 1972
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally worries when she finds dirty magazines hidden in Peter's bedroom, Auntie suggests being open about the issue after reading an article, and David asks about introducing the boys to his daughter during half-term.

"Well, what can you do? He's seen her now. It's too late to stick on a fig leaf."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E4

THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS?

Originally broadcast: 5 October 1972
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally worries that the boys will be horrible to David's peculiar daughter, Simon hits it off with her when she turns out to have a filthy mind, and
Auntie can see no harm in spending a night at a hotel with a bit of a lad.

"You need some cold water on that."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E5

A FAMILY AFFAIR

Originally broadcast: 12 October 1972
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Questions are asked when Sally's parents decide to visit out of the blue,
news that David's mother has a title comes as something of a shock, and Auntie insists that a meeting of the two families needn't be humiliating.

"Oh, i don't know, David. I don't think wearing pants matters."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E6

TWO HEARTS THAT BEAT AS TWO

Originally broadcast: 19 October 1972
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally's not happy when her mother tries to take over her wedding plans,
a jewellers turns into a war zone when a young couple start arguing, and David's reluctance to get married in church leads to very serious doubts.

"Now, you'll let us know the date of the wedding in plenty of time, won't you? Give your mother a chance to try on a few thousand hats."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

SERIES FOUR

(1973)
7 episodes
Series Score: 34
Episode Average: 4.86
Perfect 10's: 0

S4E1

WEDDING TALK

Originally broadcast: 16 May 1973
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Auntie worries Sally when she talks about how her engagement ended, finding an available Saturday for the wedding proves to be difficult, and David causes panic when he says that he needs to talk about something.

"I'm not coming out of the pub swinging a handbag."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E2

HOMES, SWEET HOMES

Originally broadcast: 23 May 1973
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally discovers that marriage might mean giving up her beloved house, David's not too pleased when he finds an estate agent in his home, and the boys shock their mother by favouring a move over the garden fence.

"Yes, well, rushing in and out, and the boys dashing about and things boiling over, but there's quite another side to it... Yes, quite another side...
A quiet, tranquil, peaceful side. Especially since I had the upstairs loo mended."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E3

A HOME AND A JOB

Originally broadcast: 30 May 1973
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Simon tries to find Auntie a man so that she won't have to live by herself, David's not keen on the idea of there being three adults in his marriage, and Sally's horrified when she finds that she's been replaced at the shop.

"Yes, you're quite right. That's all it is. I don't believe in it anyway, either. No... I mean all's you got to do is cross your fingers and spit three times."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E4

THE EVE OF THE DAY

Originally broadcast: 6 June 1973
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

The boys borrow a wedding present when they can't afford to buy one, David insists that his friends won't turn his stag night into an orgy, and Sally causes amusement when she pretends to have a party of her own.

"Oh, fine. Thanks for tinkling."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E5

AND FATHER MAKES FIVE

Originally broadcast: 13 June 1973
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally's mother asks whether she's certain that she wants to get married, David finds that the food and drink have been taken to the wrong house, and things get worse when the chauffeur manages to get the bride lost.

"Oh, yes, it's very unlucky. I can vouch for it. I saw your mother."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E6

STARTING TROUBLE

Originally broadcast: 20 June 1973
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

David and Sally realise that they've set off for the airport much too early, an eventual late arrival forces them to take separate planes to Paris, and a mechanical failure threatens to keep them apart on their honeymoon.

"Never mind, Simon. Listen, this call is costing a lot of money and I'd rather not waste it talking about bottoms."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E7

THE HONEYMOON'S OVER

Originally broadcast: 27 June 1973
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally's first ever Redway family breakfast quickly turns into an argument, trying to get rid of a rather large cobweb puts paid to a relaxing day, and doing a piece for the local newspaper leads to a double dose of jealousy.

"'Poor darling David,' I said, 'He's probably making do with a packet of crisps.' And suddenly there you were, Pacific Prawns and crumpet."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

Years: 1974-1976
Broadcaster: ITV (Thames)
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig), Richard Waring,
Brian Cooke, Johnnie Mortimer
Stars: Wendy Craig, Richard Coleman
Episodes: 26
Episode Average: 4.538

BEST EPISODE:
Fair Exchange (1974), If I Can Help Somebody (1974)

SERIES ONE

(1974)
7 episodes
Series Score: 35
Episode Average: 5.00
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

WHERE OUR CARAVAN IS RESTING

Originally broadcast: 1 May 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

The Redways prepare themselves for their very first holiday as a family,
a borrowed caravan turns out to be more travel-stained than expected, and Sally decides to get rid of it so that they can stay in a hotel instead.

"Yes, well, you've done very well, darling, you've found... you've found a plank."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

THE MATTER OF TINY FEET

Originally broadcast: 8 May 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally springs a surprise by suggesting adding to her already large family,
Peter gets everything wrong when he overhears the conversation, and Auntie talks to David when word quickly spreads about the pregnancy.

"Yes, I do seem to be putting on a bit of weight, don't I? ...I really must do something about it. One good thing... I do know what causes it. I've been having too much of it lately. Starch. I'll have to go back to an apple or an egg for lunch, instead of all those buns and cheese sandwiches."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

SEED OF SUSPICION

Originally broadcast: 15 May 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Auntie reveals that she is in love with a man she met at a birthday party, a conversation about a sauna bath leaves David suspecting an affair, and Sally makes things a lot worse after she has an accident at a roundabout.

"Well, I've seen the photographs of them, and the whole family's in there. All in the altogether. And I don't know, I don't fancy stripping in front of Simon and Peter. They've only got to catch me in my bra and they start sniggering about molehills and things."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

...TO THE AID OF THE PARTY

Originally broadcast: 22 May 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally and David head to the school after Jane and Peter make complaints, the drive home reveals that they've both invited a teacher to dinner, and the kids discover that jealousy might make the evening a little too lively.

"Well, couldn't we have the barbecue without the engine oil?"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

WISH YOU WERE THERE

Originally broadcast: 29 May 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Sally's reminded that her mum is joining the family in Watercombe Bay, things change when David starts talking about a holiday in sunny Spain, and the boys are far from impressed with the idea of fishy rice pudding.

"Yes, well, Mum's never been abroad before. She's never been out of England, except once... when she went to Wales. And that was foreign territory to her. She expected to find frontier guards on the border. She even took pills with her in case she got Llandudno tummy."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

IF I CAN HELP SOMEBODY

Originally broadcast: 5 June 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

A voice on the radio persuades Sally to buy something from a salesman, David invites his landlord round for a drink after he puts off a rent rise, and the children are roped into collecting bric-a-brac for a market stall.

"Gosh, I never knew you had that much up top!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

FAIR EXCHANGE

Originally broadcast: 12 June 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

The family prepare for the arrival of a French foreign exchange student,
Jane's dreams are dashed when he turns out to be no Sacha Distel, and
Sally goes into a panic when she manages to lose her engagement ring.

"Oh, well, we are going ooh la la for lunch today. Pâté, French bread, and cocky whatever it is."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SERIES TWO

(1974)
6 episodes
Series Score: 23
Episode Average: 3.83
Perfect 10's: 0

S2E1

LOVE'S LOST LABOUR

Originally broadcast: 22 October 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

David and Sally try to get a bit of peace and quiet on a Sunday morning,
a burning smell turns out to be nothing more than breakfast in bed, and a desperate need for privacy sees the kids sent out to get some fresh air.

"The first time I've had eggs and bacon that goes snap, crackle and pop."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

DOUBLE STANDARDS

Originally broadcast: 29 October 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

Simon gets into trouble when he shoots a neighbour's new coach lamp, David struggles to get back from Zurich for his appearance in court, and Auntie tells Sally that an inconsiderate road hog is the Chief Magistrate.

"David, I hope you haven't used that yarn of yours about the curry powder... Yes, about me overdoing it and everyone getting the runs."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

BRIDGING THE GAP

Originally broadcast: 5 November 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

Sally questions why the kids never bring their friends back to the house, Peter makes his own plans when thoughts turn to throwing a party, and
a worried mother warns about the dangers of unsupervised teenagers.

"My advice to you tonight, Mrs. Redway, is not to go any further than the garden shed, which incidentally, should be well-stocked with anti-riot shields, water cannon and tear gas."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

FOR RICHER FOR POORER

Originally broadcast: 12 November 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

David insists on making some cut backs when he receives a tax demand, Sally makes a mess of things when she tries her hand at cutting hair, and a telephone call from her mother turns into an extremely expensive visit.

"Well, it's our new economy drink... Sniff and soda."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

DATE DATA

Originally broadcast: 19 November 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

David buys his ex-wife a present after she rows with her new husband, Sally races to the shop when Auntie tells her to expect something nice, and confused disappointment leads to a check for an upcoming event.

"Oh, I don't know, but if he's creeping around the place with a big parcel that obviously isn't meant for me, then there's something he's hiding, and I don't believe it's the fact that he's become a part-time postman."

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

PART OF THE FURNITURE

Originally broadcast: 26 November 1974
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

Sally hurts her wrist when she complains about being taken for granted, a friend shows her how to use the situation to get a bit of sympathy, and a present from David turns out to be too difficult to open with one hand.

"No buts, you're not going to do any cooking for a while, I shall see to all the meals. Now then kids, where's the nearest fish and chip shop?"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

SERIES THREE

(1975)
7 episodes
Series Score: 36
Episode Average: 5.14
Perfect 10's: 0

S3E1

GROWING PAINS

Originally broadcast: 4 June 1975
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

Sally's accused of mollycoddling when she discovers that Simon smokes,
seeing him boozing and womanising in the pub makes things worse, and inviting his girl round for tea suggests that she has reason to be worried.

"Good grief, it's Orson Welles!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E2

GOODBYE MR. TURNBULL

Originally broadcast: 11 June 1975
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Brian Cooke

Sally's delighted by news that a nuisance neighbour is selling his house,
a call to the estate agents suggests that he might not be so bad after all, and a couple who are interested in buying talk about their noisy hobbies.

"Yes, well, he was only going to sell his house to a bass brandsman... a brass branson... a trumpet player."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E3

FRIENDS AND NEIGHBOURS

Originally broadcast: 18 June 1975
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

Sally pops next door to invite the new neighbours round for a few drinks, hints about the man's employment leave her fearing for her safety, and David's horrified when his wife gets carted off in the back of a police car.

"Oh, well, what's a little smut between neighbours?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E4

THE MATING TEST

Originally broadcast: 25 June 1975
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

Sally's furious when Monica finds a completed newspaper questionnaire, a need for a fresh image sees her go on a little shopping expedition, and the kids get roped in when she decides to rearrange all of the furniture.

"Now then, what's this? I can't do this! 'If he shows signs of being grumpy and disagreeable, flatten him.'"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E5

LEGS ELEVEN

Originally broadcast: 2 July 1975
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Brian Cooke

The Women's Institute want a radical idea for their latest charity appeal, Hong Kong flu leaves the police football team with no opposition to play, and Sally talks tactics after she finds a solution for both of the problems.

"But he did point out there are several different positions in the team, forwards and... um... backwards."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E6

ART FOR ART'S SAKE

Originally broadcast: 9 July 1975
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Brian Cooke, Johnnie Mortimer

Sally's persuaded to take up painting as a way to deal with her boredom,
Monica suggests comparing a version of a masterpiece with the original, and an issue with a parking metre leads to a rather unfortunate mix-up.

"I think I should have joined the raffia."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E7

HEALTH THROUGH JOY

Originally broadcast: 16 July 1975
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

Sally complains that cooking for a fussy family is leaving her exhausted, Auntie suggests that a visit to a health farm might help her recover, and
a very miserable comedian bets her that her smile won't last the course.

"It's just coming up to the bit I need. Look, carry on fiddling with your ball bearings."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

SERIES FOUR

(1976)
6 episodes
Series Score: 24
Episode Average: 4.00
Perfect 10's: 0

S4E1

WORDS AND PICTURES

Originally broadcast: 7 January 1976
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Peter's not happy when he misses out on a chance to paint nude women, David lets Simon and his new girlfriend borrow his Polaroid camera, and Sally tries to demonstrate that there are always alternatives to swearing.

"Another reader has a similar problem, her daughter won't stop saying kinky knickers."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E2

NONE SO BLIND

Originally broadcast: 14 January 1976
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

Jane suggests that Sally's poor eyesight might be due to the menopause,
Monica helps by giving her the telephone number for her opticians, and difficulty finding suitable frames sees her choose contact lenses instead.

"My dad don't want my mum to wear specs... He said women in glasses need a kick up their..."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E3

LOVE IS A MOST CONFOUNDED THING

Originally broadcast: 21 January 1976
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Simon tries to get the house to himself so he can entertain his girlfriend, Sally gets a shock when her aunt and uncle travel to London separately, and Monica looks on in horror as attempts are made to keep them apart.

"Yes, I can see that Vilma mightn't be too impressed surrounded by other people's bosoms."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E4

UNLICENCED PREMISES

Originally broadcast: 28 January 1976
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

David tries to get a bit of peace and quiet while he's in bed with the flu, Sally rushes out to the Post Office to renew the expired TV licence, and
a run in with a detector van forces her to race back home to hide the set.

"Marvellous, it looks like a television set with a junk shop on top."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E5

SALLY'S DIARY

Originally broadcast: 4 February 1976
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Jonathan Marr (Wendy Craig)

Sally complains that the entries in her diary seem be the same every day, Monica suggests that a bit of spicy elaboration could lead to publication, and the coal man gets carried away at the thought of a topless nightclub.

"I wonder if they make a carpet in dirty footprint design."

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E6

JOBS FOR THE BOY

Originally broadcast: 11 February 1976
Directed by: Peter Frazer-Jones
Written by: Richard Waring

Peter's jealous when the time comes for his brother to find himself a job, David helps him out by arranging an interview at a hardware store, and saying farewell to his best friends leaves him in no mood for celebration.

"Jane! Peter! Come downstairs this minute and join in the fun!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

SALLY
HARRISON

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by Wendy Craig
26 episodes (1971-1973)
in... All Work and No Play (S2E6)

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES FIVE = -

Played by Wendy Craig
26 episodes (1974-1976)
in... ...To the Aid of the Party (S1E4)

SIMON
HARRISON

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by Robin Davies
26 episodes (1971-1973)
in... The Matchmakers (S2E2)

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES FIVE = -

Played by Robin Davies
26 episodes (1974-1976)
in... Jobs for the Boy (S4E6)

PETER
HARRISON

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by David Parfitt
26 episodes (1971-1973)
in... Father Figure (S3E2)

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES FIVE = -

Played by David Parfitt
26 episodes (1974-1976)
in... Unlicenced Premises (S4E4)

DAVID
REDWAY

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by Richard Coleman
13 episodes (1972-1973)
in... Wedding Talk (S4E1)

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES FIVE = -

Played by Richard Coleman
26 episodes (1974-1976)
in... Bridging the Gap (S2E3)

JANE
REDWAY

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by Miriam Mann
5 episodes (1972-1973)
in... And Father Makes Five (S4E5)

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES FIVE = -

Played by Maxine Gordon
26 episodes (1974-1976)
in... Words and Pictures (S4E1)

AUNTIE
FLO

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by Valerie Lush
26 episodes (1971-1973)
in... Once a Year Day (S2E5)

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES FIVE = -

Played by Valerie Lush
8 episodes (1974-1975)
in... The Matter of Tiny Feet (S1E2)

HAMISH
CAMPBELL

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by George Selway
12 episodes (1971-1972)
in... A Hard Day Out (S2E1)

EVE
BELCHER

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by Gwen Nelson
5 episodes (1972-1973)
in... A Family Affair (S3E5)

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES FIVE = -

Played by Gwen Nelson
3 episodes (1974)
in... Wish You Were There (S1E5)

MONICA
SPICER

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES FIVE = -

Played by Charlotte Mitchell
8 episodes (1975-1976)
in... Love Is a Most Confounded Thing (S4E3)

JEREMY
CRITCHLEY

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by Nicholas Hawell
6 episodes (1971-1973)
in... All Work and No Play (S2E6)

BERNARD
BELCHER

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by Keith Marsh
5 episodes (1972-1973)
in... And Father Makes Five (S4E5)

ARABELLA
CRITCHLEY

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES THREE = -

Played by Julie Dawn Cole
5 episodes (1971-1972)
in... Mr. Mum (S1E7)

JOSS
SPICER

- = ...AND MOTHER MAKES FIVE = -

Played by Tony Britton
4 episodes (1975)
in... Legs Eleven (S3E5)