British Comedy: Peep Show

Years: 2003-2015
Broadcaster: Channel 4
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
Andrew O'Connor, David Mitchell, Robert Webb,
Simon Blackwell, John Finnemore, Tom Basden
Stars: David Mitchell, Robert Webb
Episodes: 54
Episode Average: 8.444

BEST EPISODES:
Nether Zone (2010), Handyman (2007)

SERIES ONE

(2003)
6 episodes
Series Score: 44
Episode Average: 7.33
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

WARRING FACTION

Originally broadcast: 19 September 2003
Directed by: Jeremy Wooding
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark tries to avoid being confronted by a gang of kids, Jez is humiliated when he finds his music being ridiculed, and crossed wires mean that sex is firmly off the menu.

Yes, I am Lord of the Bus, said he.

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

THE INTERVIEW

Originally broadcast: 26 September 2003
Directed by: Jeremy Wooding
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
John Finnemore (Additional), David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark tried to get Jez a job so he can pay his rent, Toni suggests something that definitely isn't pyramid selling, and an exchange of cartoons leads to a misguided attempt at 'wild'.

"Er, I've done quite a lot, actually. I mean, not formal filing, but, you know, alphababeti-pi-cising the videos, doing the spices. I suppose what I'd want to do is build on that experience in a professional zone."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

ON THE PULL

Originally broadcast: 3 October 2003
Directed by: Jeremy Wooding
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark attracts the attention of a teenage goth at a party, the shopping ends up in the gutter, and Jez finds that three's a crowd.

Oh, my God. I knew it. Olive oil talk, Wicked!

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

MARK MAKES A FRIEND

Originally broadcast: 10 October 2003
Directed by: Jeremy Wooding
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark gets a lift from the loan manager, accusations lead to doubts about sexuality, and Jez struggles to remember a 'bad thing' that he did.

If I keep smiling, maybe he won't leave.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

DREAM JOB

Originally broadcast: 17 October 2003
Directed by: Jeremy Wooding
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark's hopes of promotion are dealt a blow, Jez gets a job at a recording studio, and Super Hans gives Toni 'bongo lessons'.

"It's not piss."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

FUNERAL

Originally broadcast: 24 October 2003
Directed by: Jeremy Wooding
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez sees opportunity in the death of his uncle, Sophie is invited to the funeral, and Mark gets his weird balls checked out.

"Now, listen, mate. I need to ask you a straight-up, man-to-man question about bollocks."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

SERIES TWO

(2004)
6 episodes
Series Score: 53
Episode Average: 8.83
Perfect 10's: 2

S2E1

DANCE CLASS

Originally broadcast: 12 November 2004
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark hacks into Sophie's email account, Jez meets a free spirited girl at a dance class, and a game of the spin the bottle challenges taboos.

Sure, an orgy sounds great, but you're basically just multiplying the number of people you're not going to be able to look in the eye afterwards.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

JEREMY MAKES IT

Originally broadcast: 19 November 2004
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
John Finnemore (Additional), David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez sees an opportunity when he bumps into someone he picked on at school, Mark's new friend soon reveals his true self, and things go badly in the recording studio.

I can't believe I'm pitching to Gog. I hope he doesn't know it was me who
did that shit in his mum's airing cupboard.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

LOCAL ZERO

Originally broadcast: 26 November 2004
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

An appearance on local news threatens Mark's plans, Alan offers his support, and Jez struggles when Nancy suggest challenging one final taboo.

"That's... that's... that's our picnic! You can't see the Kettle Chips."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Originally broadcast: 3 December 2004
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark pretends to be a student to get closer to a girl he meets in a shoe shop, Super Hans quits the band, and Jez gets caught shoplifting.

"I won't be Bez. I wanna be in there on merit."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

THE MAN SHOW

Originally broadcast: 10 December 2004
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Sophie and Jeff move in together, Mark tries to make friends with the enemy, and Jez lets slip about his new best mate.

"If you can't have sex with the monkey, make friends with the organ grinder."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

WEDDING

Originally broadcast: 17 December 2004
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Nancy suggests cementing things with an administrative procedure, Mark manages to make sure that Sophie remains unavailable, and Toni makes a move on Jez.

"Ouch. I'm thinking maybe Buddha wasn't too pleased."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES THREE

(2005)
6 episodes
Series Score: 56
Episode Average: 9.33
Perfect 10's: 3

S3E1

MUGGING

Originally broadcast: 11 November 2005
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez finds reason to put a dumping on hold, Mark gets mugged by a couple of youths, and an old flame turns back up on the scene.

"Hold your horses, honey. I've got coupons for the Pringles!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E2

SECTIONING

Originally broadcast: 18 November 2005
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
John Finnemore (Additional), David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Sophie starts working away after a promotion, Jez and Super Hans clash on how to run a pub, and Mark worries about the mental state of a friend.

"Listen, guys, newsflash. If you need to shit, shit in the bin."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E3

SHROOMING

Originally broadcast: 25 November 2005
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Super Hans kicks the bathroom door off, Mark's chosen for a business trip when sickness hits the original team, and Jez plans a mushroom party in his absence.

Oh, God. Can I do this? If I do this, even if I end up marrying Sophie and we live in a detached house in Surrey, and buy a holiday home in Umbria, our children will always look up at the face of a man who once crapped in a takeaway bag.

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E4

SISTERING

Originally broadcast: 2 December 2005
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark's sister comes to stay after splitting with her husband, Jez wastes no time making a move, and Big Suze has a new admirer.

How am I going to get out of this? She's like one of those
horrible big turds that just won't flush.

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E5

JURYING

Originally broadcast: 9 December 2005
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jeremy crosses the line while on jury duty, Johnson wants someone to have a work with Sophie about her attitude at work, and Mark has an awkward night out.

This guy is literally a moron.

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E6

QUANTOCKING

Originally broadcast: 16 December 2005
Directed by: Tristram Shapeero
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark takes Sophie away with plans to propose, Jez helps Super Hans go cold turkey, and a rescue mission goes wrong.

I can't believe I pissed on my legs to keep myself warm.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

SERIES FOUR

(2007)
6 episodes
Series Score: 55
Episode Average: 9.17
Perfect 10's: 3

S4E1

SOPHIE'S PARENTS

Originally broadcast: 13 April 2007
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Sophie's dad overheard Mark's marriage doubts, Jez finds himself in a sticky situation, and a game of truth gets messy.

"No, just practising. I was showing Jeremy some techniques."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E2

CONFERENCE

Originally broadcast: 20 April 2007
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
John Finnemore (Additional), David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark's tasked with putting together an important presentation, Alan Johnson makes an indecent proposal, and Jez threatens to go to the Citizens Advice Bureau.

Here I go. Palms dry, mouth dry, inter-buttock area moist.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E3

GYM

Originally broadcast: 27 April 2007
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark signs up at the gym to get away from Sophie, Jez tries to win back Nancy, and a personal trainer finds himself in the firing line.

"Oh, Nance, he's a pool pooer. You know
what that means. He poos... in the pool."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E4

HANDYMAN

Originally broadcast: 4 May 2007
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez gets a job as a handyman for one of his musical heroes, an old crush is relived at a school reunion, and Mark gets thrown to the lions.

"Let me have a go on the old gear stick. I'll take it up to fourth."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E5

HOLIDAY

Originally broadcast: 11 May 2007
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez arranges a stag weekend on a canal boat, Mark's offered a job in India, and an accident means there's a body to dispose of.

"Oh, that is great. You wouldn't even let me drink your piss."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E6

WEDDING

Originally broadcast: 18 May 2007
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark's desperate to find a way to call off the wedding without hurting Sophie, Nancy announces that she's returning to America, and Jez is worried about being left on his own.

"Oh, 'Piss yourself. Stop pissing yourself.' It's not that simple,
the floodgates are open."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

SERIES FIVE

(2008)
6 episodes
Series Score: 52
Episode Average: 8.67
Perfect 10's: 0

S5E1

BURGLING

Originally broadcast: 2 May 2008
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark reluctantly goes out on a double-date, Jez receives bad news from an ex, and a burglar finds his escape route blocked.

I've got balls like baked potatoes.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E2

SPIN WAR

Originally broadcast: 9 May 2008
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
John Finnemore (Additional), David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark hopes for damage limitation when Sophie returns to work, a new
IT girl proves an interesting ally, and Super Hans puts an end to creativity in the band.

"I'm a smoker. I need man-Cheddar, ya know."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E3

JEREMY'S BROKE

Originally broadcast: 16 May 2008
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark tries a different approach when speed dating draws a blank, Jez finds himself looking for somewhere to stay, and Johnson threatens to bring in the authorities.

"You ate your nest egg? You're meant to sit on your nest egg till it hatches, not eat it like some greedy, mad chicken."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E4

JEREMY'S MUMMY

Originally broadcast: 23 May 2008
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain, Simon Blackwell,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez inherits money when his aunt dies, Mark's offered an opportunity to write military memoirs, and an admirer won't take no for an answer.

Shit, it's Paddy Ashdown, it's Indiana Jones! It's Indiana Ashdown!

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E5

JEREMY'S MANAGER

Originally broadcast: 30 May 2008
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

The band get themselves a new manager, Jez and Mark find their sexual abilities compared, and a sacrifice has to be made to let Super Hans shine.

"I thought you were a business brain, Mark, but you're better than that. You're what my grandma would call a real piece of shit."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E6

MARK'S WOMAN

Originally broadcast: 6 June 2008
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez changes his name after joining a cult, a drunken one-night stand leads to talk of pregnancy, and Mark has trouble firing people.

That is low. That is really low. She's taken my sperm, and sperm is like
lending someone less than a fiver. You can't really ask for it back.

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

SERIES SIX

(2009)
6 episodes
Series Score: 50
Episode Average: 8.33
Perfect 10's: 1

S6E1

JEREMY AT JLB

Originally broadcast: 18 September 2009
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark gets his own office when he's promoted to management, Jez gets a job at JLB, and Alan Johnson makes an announcement.

"Because you're freeloading on my trauma. You're a grief thief."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E2

THE TEST

Originally broadcast: 25 September 2009
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
John Finnemore (Additional), David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez makes a move on the new neighbour, Mark tries to beat Gerrard in the pursuit of Dobby, and Sophie calls with news.

"Oh, God! Come, Mr Tali-ban, tally my bananas."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E3

JEREMY IN LOVE

Originally broadcast: 2 October 2009
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain, Simon Blackwell,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Sophie decides she wants to go private, Jez claims to have a personal gratification disorder, and Mark tries his hand as a History Walk Guide.

Good old Dobby. The anxious, self-hating man's crumpet. But probably best if I never, ever say that to her.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E4

THE AFFAIR

Originally broadcast: 9 October 2009
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jeremy finds out that Elena has another lover, Johnson tries to set up his own consultancy firm, and Mark starts a new job.

If I'm a Bran Flake, he's a slutty Sugar Puff.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E5

THE PARTY

Originally broadcast: 16 October 2009
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark invites Dobby to a party, Jez gives Elena an ultimatum, and Sophie wants to sort out the legalities before the baby's born.

Oh, God. This could be a disaster. I want a night of edgy banter and tipsy indiscretions. He wants us all lying around in our pants, flinging shit at each other.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E6

DAS BOOT

Originally broadcast: 23 October 2009
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez is convinced that he's trying to kill Gail, Jeff tries to get involved with Sophie's baby, and Mark has driving lessons.

"Sophie, Jeff says the baby is a boy-by. Is it a boy-by?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES SEVEN

(2010)
6 episodes
Series Score: 56
Episode Average: 9.33
Perfect 10's: 3

S7E1

ST. HOSPITAL

Originally broadcast: 26 November 2010
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Sophie's determined to have a natural birth, Mark's more worried about getting the boiler fixed, and Jez tried to convince himself that he doesn't wish the worst on his latest love rival.

That could so easily have been me - a useless gnome, fishing for turds.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E2

MAN JAM

Originally broadcast: 3 December 2010
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
John Finnemore (Additional), David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark and Gerrard form the 'Dobby Club', Jez gets a new job with a record label, and Danny Dyer's Chocolate Homunculus get new suits.

"I've always believed that the internet is actually going to be pretty big."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E3

A BEAUTIFUL MIND

Originally broadcast: 10 December 2010
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain, Simon Blackwell,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez tries to impress Zahra by hosting a book club, Mark can't decide whether to introduce Dobby to Kenneth, and Super Hans takes up running as an alternative to drugs.

Fascinating. It's like watching a sheep trying to use an iPhone.

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E4

NETHER ZONE

Originally broadcast: 17 December 2010
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark and Jez get trapped between doors in a building. the phone battery's dying, and the only obvious escape route looks risky.

"Oh, right, and what if a passer-by decides to try and turn off the nozzle? What if a squirrel wants a sausage?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E5

SEASONAL BEATINGS

Originally broadcast: 24 December 2010
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark invites his family for Christmas dinner, cauliflower is off the menu, and two unexpected guests fail to ease the tension.

Urgh, not Sarah, not again. Ding Dong Merrily on my dong, the Christmas elves are weeping.

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E6

NEW YEAR'S EVE

Originally broadcast: 29 December 2010
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Zahra asks Jez to move in with her, Mark searches numerous parties looking for Dobby, and Super Hans finds his very own "Yoko".

Huh! He thinks he's Romeo. He's not, he's an armrest.

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

SERIES EIGHT

(2012)
6 episodes
Series Score: 46
Episode Average: 7.67
Perfect 10's: 0

S8E1

JEREMY THERAPISED

Originally broadcast: 25 November 2012
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez chooses food over therapy, Dobby regrets watching 'The Apprentice', and Mark has issues balancing a series of job interviews with other commitments.

The sickly Casanova. Aiming for a bit more Connect 4-play.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S8E2

BUSINESS SECRETS OF THE PHARAOHS

Originally broadcast: 2 December 2012
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
John Finnemore (Additional), David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark does a deal to get his book published, Jaz gets lucky while attending a Life Coaching course, and Dobby gets a new job in IT.

"Yes, but what kind of mad therapy? Jezicise, where you hump people better with crystals?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S8E3

THE LOVE BUNKER

Originally broadcast: 9 December 2012
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez tries to put his life coaching skills to good use, Simon arranges a paintballing day for Dobby's birthday, and Mark worries that there's more to it.

"Why does war even exist? Why can't we all just have a game of footy,
like how England beat Germany for the First World War?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S8E4

BIG MAD ANDY

Originally broadcast: 16 December 2012
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain, Simon Blackwell,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Dobby wants to travel around Europe, Mark secretly signs up to an eighteen month course, and Jez tries to help a troubled decorator.

"I bet she is. Just dive in, man. And gather ye pearls while the hog walks."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S8E5

CHAIRMAN MARK

Originally broadcast: 23 December 2012
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain, Tom Basden
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark becomes Chairman of the Residents Association, Jez can't hack living at Sarah's, and a five-year old boy has a poo.

You feel bad, so I feel you. Classic!

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S8E6

QUANTOCKING II

Originally broadcast: 24 December 2012
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez moves in with Super Hans, Simon offers Dobby a job in New York, and Mark decides that a romantic picnic might be the right setting for a proposal.

"Sorry, can I just get past?" ...before my best friend kills me with a tuna baguette."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES NINE

(2015)
6 episodes
Series Score: 44
Episode Average: 7.33
Perfect 10's: 1

S9E1

THE WILLIAM MORRIS YEARS

Originally broadcast: 11 November 2015
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Super Hans has replaced booze with juice, Jeremy's living in a bathroom, and Mark has a new improved Jez.

There he goes, duvet cape man off to his toilet kitchen.

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S9E2

GREGORY'S BEARD

Originally broadcast: 18 November 2015
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark tracks Dobbie's movements, Jez gets caught in the act, and a reluctant hitchhiker mentions murder.

God, they're doggers. I'm going to get dogged.

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S9E3

THREEISM

Originally broadcast: 25 November 2015
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Mark bumps into the one that got away, Jez manages to turn life coaching into a love triangle, and a last minute change of plan leads to dinner party chaos.

Oh, look who's won the lettuce lottery.

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S9E4

MOLE-MAPPING

Originally broadcast: 2 December 2015
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Efforts to defeat Angus lead to a dermatological date, Jez looks into getting a new office, and Mark's learns that his life is in danger.

"A giant, walking, talking anthropomorphised shit on stilts. A shit for all seasons. The shit man of Europe."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S9E5

KID FARM

Originally broadcast: 9 December 2015
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Sophie asks Mark to move in, April suggests doing something naughty, and Jez decides to get revenge on Super Hans.

"Ooh! Someone who is expecting cornflakes is going to get a big fucking malty hit of Shreddies. Boom!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S9E6

ARE WE GOING TO BE ALRIGHT?

Originally broadcast: 16 December 2015
Directed by: Becky Martin
Written by: Andrew O'Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain,
David Mitchell (Additional), Robert Webb (Additional)

Jez doesn't want to celebrate his 40th, Mark finds himself replaced at work, and April gets dumped by text.

I will prevail. He can't hurt me with his Rice Krispie blitz. London can take it.

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

Mark Corrigan
played by David Mitchell
in Dance Class (S2E1 - 2004)
54 episodes
(2003-2015)

THE LADIES

VALERIE
(Flora Newbigin)

SOPHIE
(Olivia Colman)

APRIL
(Catherine Shepherd)

SALLY
(Liz May Brice)

LUCY
(Katy Brand)

HEATHER
(Susannah Wise)

DOBBY
(Isy Suttie)

SAZ
(Natasha Beaumont)

NATALIE
(Ingrid Oliver)

CALLY
(Niky Wardley)

STEPHANIE
(Josephine Butler)

Jeremy Usborne
played by Robert Webb
in Handyman (S4E4 - 2007)
54 episodes
(2003-2015)

THE LADIES

PAULA
(Dolly Wells)

TONI
(Elizabeth Marmur)

NANCY
(Rachel Blanchard)

MICHELLE
(Shelley Blond)

VICKY
(Rosie Cavaliero)

SUZE
(Sophie Winkleman)

SARAH
(Eliza L. Bennett)

CARLA
(Tracy Whitwell)

PENNY
(Cheryl Campbell)

AURORA
(Cara Horgan)

CALLY
(Niky Wardley)

SOPHIE
(Olivia Colman)

ELENA
(Vera Filatova)

ZAHRA
(Camilla Beeput)

CELIA
(Nadia Cameron-Blakey)

DOBBY
(Isy Suttie)

MEGAN
(Cariad Lloyd)

Sophie Chapman
played by Olivia Colman
in On the Pull (S1E3 - 2003)
33 episodes (2003-2010)

Simon 'Super Hans' Hans
played by Matt King
in Wedding (S2E6 - 2004)
36 episodes (2003-2015)

Jeff Heaney
played by Neil Fitzmaurice
in The Man Show (S2E5 - 2004)
21 episodes (2003-2015)

Debbie 'Dobby'
played by Isy Suttie
in Jeremy in Love (S6E3 - 2009)
19 episodes (2008-2015)

Alan Johnson
played by Paterson Joseph
in Mark Makes a Friend (S1E4 - 2003)
18 episodes (2003-2015)

Big Suze
played by Sophie Winkleman
in Sistering (S3E4 - 2005)
10 episodes (2005-2010)

Gerrard
played by Jim Howick
in Mark's Woman (S5E6 - 2008)
9 episodes (2007-2012)

Nancy
played by Rachel Blanchard
in Local Zero (S2E3 - 2004)
8 episodes (2004-2007)

Toni
played by Elizabeth Marmur
in Warring Factions (S1E1 - 2003)
8 episodes (2003-2004)

Elena
played by Vera Filatova
in The Affair (S6E4 - 2009)
6 episodes (2009)

Zahra
played by Camilla Beeput
in A Beautiful Mind (S2E3 - 2010)
5 episodes (2010)

Ian Chapman
played by Paul Clayton
in Sophie's Parents (S4E1 - 2007)
5 episodes (2007-2010)

April
played by Catherine Shepherd
in Kid Farm (S9E5 - 2015)
5 episodes (2004-2015)

Gail
played by Emily Bruni
in Das Boot (S6E6 - 2009)
5 episodes (2009-2012)

Lisa
played by Endy McKay
in Conference (S4E2 - 2007)
5 episodes (2007-2009)

Ben
played by Danny Babington
in Nether Zone (S7E4 - 2010)
4 episodes (2010)

Sarah Corrigan
played by Eliza L. Bennett
in The Party (S6E5 - 2009)
4 episodes (2005-2012)

Megan
played by Cariad Lloyd
in Threeism (S9E3 - 2015)
5 episodes (2015)

Joe
played by Bart Edwards
in Threeism (S9E3 - 2015)
4 episodes (2015)

Molly
played by Frances Ashman
in Gregory's Beard (S9E2 - 2015)
2 episodes (2015)