British Comedy: On The Buses

Years: 1969-1973
Broadcaster: ITV (LWT)
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe,
Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis, George Layton,
Jonathan Lynn, Garry Chambers, Wally Malston,
Myles Rudge
Stars: Stephen Lewis, Reg Varney
Episodes: 74
Episode Average: 7.581

BEST EPISODES:
Family Flu (1969), The Squeeze (1970)

SERIES ONE

(1969)
7 episodes
Series Score: 54
Episode Average: 7.71
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

THE EARLY SHIFT

Originally broadcast: 28 February 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan and Jack discover the canteen's closed for the early shift, an unofficial strike's called, and Stan puts a stop to Blakey's attempt to get the buses out.

"Oh, you're not gonna have 'em cold, love... I'm putting them in the Thermos."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E2

THE NEW CONDUCTOR

Originally broadcast: 7 March 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan's assigned a new clippie, bingo night soon gets the cold shoulder, and any plans of naughtiness soon get spoiled by mum.

"Ooo, well, thanks very much. It's been a very sexy evening, hasn't it. Kipper sandwiches, cocoa, and your mum's bloomers!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E3

OLIVE TAKES A TRIP

Originally broadcast: 14 March 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Olive applies for a job as a clippie, Stan's persuaded to help out, and Mum causes mayhem when sickness threatens to bring a halt to things

"This bus goes on diesel, not Eau-de-Cologne!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E4

BUS DRIVERS' STOMACH

Originally broadcast: 21 March 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan's suffering from sitting in the cab all day, Mum orders a diet, and management order medicals for all drivers.

"'Ere! What do you think you're doing? Breathalyser test?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E5

THE NEW INSPECTOR

Originally broadcast: 28 March 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

A vacancy comes up for Assistant Inspector, Stan's removed from the darts team, and a clippie complains to management.

"I think her skirt should come down."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E6

THE CANTEEN

Originally broadcast: 4 April 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

The busmen take over the running of the canteen, Indian food doesn't meet with approval, and the alternative ends up losing more money than ever before.

"Even busmen won't eat cod with fried custard!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S1E7

THE DARTS MATCH

Originally broadcast: 11 March 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan and Jack challenge a couple of clippies to a darts match, Arthur isn't happy about practice arrangements, and Iris does her best to create a distraction.

"You missed the board! Look, forget about Iris... those are the doubles you're supposed to have your eye on!

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

SERIES TWO

(1969)
6 episodes
Series Score: 47
Episode Average: 7.83
Perfect 10's: 1

S2E1

FAMILY FLU

Originally broadcast: 31 May 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Blakey's not impressed that the bus is being used for personal shopping, Mum and Olive are ill with the flu, and Stan and Arthur keep house.

"Your pants are they? With the leopard spots? Your pants? Tarzan of the buses!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E2

THE USED COMBINATION

Originally broadcast: 7 June 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Arthur buys a motorbike and sidecar, Stan breaks the starter, and Blakey finds something odd tied to the bus.

"Oh look, mum. They've got all names written on them. 'Ere Arthur, which one am I? Sexy Kid or Randy Racer?"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E3

SELF DEFENCE

Originally broadcast: 14 June 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

The bus comes back worse for wear after a run-in with hooligans, Blakey hosts a self-defence class, and Stan's forced to pass on some fun with the girls.

"Cor blimey! I must say one thing. We might get a load of scum on a Saturday night, but we never get any inspectors!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E4

AUNT MAUD

Originally broadcast: 21 June 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Aunt Maud brings a less than welcome companion on her visit, Stan and Arthur are forced to bunk-up, and Jack refuses to let the dog back on his bus.

"Well, she might have turned the light on. I opened the front door, and he put his paws right up on me shoulder and started licking me face. I thought it was Olive gone berserk."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E5

LATE AGAIN

Originally broadcast: 28 June 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Ted faces being arrested unless he pays maintenance to his wife, chalet 17 sees guests come and go at an alarming rate, and Jeff's good nature gets in the way of a deal.

"Stan's struggling to juggle work and pleasure, Jack tries to help, and the night shift provides a cure."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S2E6

BON VOYAGE

Originally broadcast: 5 July 1969
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan and Jack are looking forward to the staff holiday in Spain, Blakey has his picture taken, and a quick top-up sunbathe in the cemetery doesn't

"You two weak-kneed washed out Romeos? You think beautiful girls are going to bother with you two? Not unless the sun's driven 'em delirious first."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

SERIES THREE

(1970)
13 episodes
Series Score: 107
Episode Average: 8.23
Perfect 10's: 4

S3E1

FIRST AID

Originally broadcast: 2 January 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Blakey's hurts his leg, the management order first aid tests, and there's an emergency on Stan's bus.

"It's canteen tea... kills all known germs."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E2

THE CISTERN

Originally broadcast: 9 January 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan breaks the toilet, Blakey isn't happy about transportation arrangements, and the new installation doesn't quite go to plan

"You don't know how to do it. Leave it to me. It needs a special sort of jerk!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E3

THE INSPECTOR'S NIECE

Originally broadcast: 16 January 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

The new clippie attracts admiring eyes, Stan and Jack try to outdo each other in the dress department, and a quiet night in gets sabotaged.

"He uses my fork to clean his nails, the knife to clean his trousers, I dread to think what he's done with the spoon!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E4

BREW IT YOURSELF

Originally broadcast: 23 January 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan tries to brew his own beer, Blakey insists on a breathalyser test, and Olive gets all kinky with Arthur.

"Clear your throat? You've got to blow in it, not play on it. It's a bloomin' breathalyser, not a bagpipes!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E5

BUSMEN'S PERKS

Originally broadcast: 30 January 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Arthur insists that the bedroom should be decorated, Stan acquires some paint from work, and a missing ingredient leads to problems.

"Cor blimey! It looks like a picture of the moon. Fancy them fellas going 250,000 miles to get a picture like this!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E6

THE SNAKE

Originally broadcast: 6 February 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

There's an Indian night at work, Jack and Stan take a fancy to a dancing cook, and screams of help are heard from the bathroom.

"Hello, Blakey. What you got there? Tomato soup or clippie's blood?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E7

MUM'S LAST FLING

Originally broadcast: 13 February 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Mum starts seeing a conductor from the depot, the bills aren't paid, and Stan gets two parking tickets.

"What you got on there? Cor blimey, it's that short, I can see your vest!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E8

RADIO CONTROL

Originally broadcast: 20 February 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

A two-way radio is fitted to the no.11, Stan learns the Busmen's Code, and the bus hits a bridge.

"Yeah, well, it's rather difficult being a Romeo when you happen to be married to a woman who happens to be an Oscar."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E9

FOGGY NIGHT

Originally broadcast: 27 February 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

The bus gets stuck in thick fog, Olive gets chased by a cow, and Blakey falls in a ditch.

"String vesties, and kisses from Aunt Maud? You're supposed to be running a bus, Butler, not playing happy families! Come on, get out of it."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E10

THE NEW UNIFORM

Originally broadcast: 6 March 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Arthur's not happy about the length of his sausage, Stan and Jack trial new uniforms, and two Swedish girls think they've pulled a pair of pilots.

"Yumbo yet? They can't even drive a no.11 to the Cemetery Gates and back!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E11

GOING STEADY

Originally broadcast: 13 March 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

There's talk of wedding bells at the depot, Stan's mocked for changes to his appearance, and Blakey accepts an invitation to the Butler's for tea.

"I've been coming to the Cemetery Gate with you for ten years. I've given you the best years of my life."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E12

THE SQUEEZE

Originally broadcast: 20 March 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

The Butler house is short of money, stan persuades Arthur to sell his bike and sidecar, and Blakey goes on a test drive that he'll never forget.

"I'll get you for this, Butler!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S3E13

ON THE MAKE

Originally broadcast: 27 March 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

One of the clippies is evicted, Stan offers to put her up, and Arthur spoils any thoughts of passion.

"I didn't need ya, son. I did it on me own. I've got a better woof than you!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

The Color StrikeLed to 7 episodes from this series being filmed in black-and-white.

SERIES FOUR

(1970-1971)
13 episodes
Series Score: 102
Episode Average: 7.85
Perfect 10's: 0

S4E1

NOWHERE TO GO

Originally broadcast: 27 November 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan's trying to get the family away to visit Aunt Maud, Jack has a couple of clippies on standby, and a spot of welding's needed to sort a troublesome bike.

"Now what do you two think you're up to, eh? This is a bus depot, not a bloomin' rabbit hutch, you know!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E2

THE CANTEEN GIRL

Originally broadcast: 4 December 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Blakey wants to marry a girl from the canteen, a strict inspector arrives, and Stan gets Molly drunk.

"Yeah, running around with his little stopwatch, timing all the little chickens for not getting their eggs out on time."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E3

DANGEROUS DRIVING

Originally broadcast: 11 December 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

An article suggests that drivers have low life expectancy, Stan struggles to keep up with a pretty young clippie, and Blakey hosts a keep-fit class.

"It was one of the passengers, he got like this waiting for your bus to come along."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E4

THE OTHER WOMAN

Originally broadcast: 18 December 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Arthur gets a little too friendly with a clippie, Olive insists the marriage is over, and Blakey isn't impressed when the depot is used for marriage counselling.

"Keeping Wendy away from a man is like trying to keep a tiger away from red meat!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E5

CHRISTMAS DUTY

Originally broadcast: 25 December 1970
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Blakey gets a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe, Stan and Jack find out that they have to work on Christmas Day, and Olive takes over driving duty when Arthur gets in the festive spirit a little too much.

"You know what, Blakey? I reckon you could play first teapot in the London Philharmonic."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E6

THE 'L' BUS

Originally broadcast: 1 January 1971
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Olive and Arthur's bed breaks, Stan and Jack are picked to train new staff, and Blakey isn't happy about the misuse of the bus.

"Because with your choppers, it'd look like weeds growing round a tombstone."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E7

THE KIDS'OUTING

Originally broadcast: 10 January 1971
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan and Jack are asked to man a new bus for a kids outing, Blakey's disgusted when his nephew is given a dirty magazine, and the bus breaks down in clouds of smoke.

"I'm Clara the Clippie, I have to be dippy, 'cos you see I'm so full up on top. The drivers all love me, they say I'm so cuddly, and I never, never ask them to stop."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E8

THE ANNIVERSARY

Originally broadcast: 17 January 1971
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Aunt Maud sends Olive a dog as an anniversary present, Blakey gets the taste for an unusual snack, and there's chaos at dinner.

"Yeah, well, I'll tell you what... keep the dog and get rid of Arthur."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E9

COVER UP

Originally broadcast: 24 January 1971
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

The furniture in the Butler house is looking the worse-for-wear, Stan and Jack smuggle some material out of the depot, and a surprise visit gets the better of everyone.

"Dunno, there's something wrong with the fag. You stupid great lump, all that stuff you were flinging about... I've been smoking the stuffing!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E10

SAFETY FIRST

Originally broadcast: 31 January 1971
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

A passenger complains to management when Stan has to break suddenly, new procedures are introduced to cut down on mishaps, and Blakey's injured when a bus hits his office.

"I want to grease his ears, not his nipples!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E11

THE LODGER

Originally broadcast: 31 January 1971
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

The Butlers take in a lodger, Stan finds that he's the one making sacrifices, and Olive falls victim to an admiring eye.

"The lodger's coming in 'ere, get your drawers down!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E12

THE INJURY

Originally broadcast: 14 February 1971
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan has an accident while redecorating the bathroom, Jack suggests having another accident, and Blakey has the last laugh.

"Well, you've got your special racing driver's shoes on then. You should get there in record time. In fact, with a bit of luck, you might even get there on time this time."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E13

NOT TONIGHT

Originally broadcast: 21 February 1971
Directed by Stuart Allen
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan takes a fancy to the new girl in the canteen, a night out turns to be very expensive, and Arthur puts the scuppers on a better offer.

"He's got an hobby already, he's just not that good at it, that's all. He's like an unsuccessful fisherman holding his rod out and catching nothing."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

ON THE BUSES

(1971)

FILM

ON THE BUSES

Released: 9 July 1971
Directed by Harry Booth
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Women drivers are taken on to make up for the shortage of staff, Stan has to complete a driving test after knocking down a telephone box and bus shelter, and Olive discovers that she's pregnant.

"I've just been thinking, this is the first time I've ever done this with another bus driver."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SERIES FIVE

(1971)
15 episodes
Series Score: 110
Episode Average: 7.33
Perfect 10's: 1

S5E1

THE NURSERY

Originally broadcast: 19 September 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

The bus company start a creche for the clippies, Olive gets a new job, and Stan and Jack have something a little different for lunch.

"I see you've brought your two with you. Hey, they take after their father don't they?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E2

STAN'S ROOM

Originally broadcast: 26 September 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Doreen's not happy with her night of passion, Stan moves out of the family home, and Blakey insists on the rules being stuck to.

"You're out of condition mate. Well, at least I won't have to worry about you bringing women up here, will I? By the time you get them up them stairs, mate, you won't be good for much, will ya?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E3

THE BEST MAN

Originally broadcast: 3 October 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Blakey's niece is getting married, Stan and Jack are tasked with getting the bridegroom to the church on time, and eggs get thrown around like confetti.

"Blimey, no wonder the bridegroom has to have a best man. Cor, if he had to do this lot himself, he'd be too tired to do anything else!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E4

THE INSPECTOR'S PET

Originally broadcast: 10 October 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

A fishing break in Brighton looks to be in jeopardy, Stan hits the bollard in the high street again, and Blakey's overcome with Stan's kind offer.

"Blimey, that's the fifth time you've hit that bollard!
This is a bus, mate, not a dodgem car."

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E5

THE EPIDEMIC

Originally broadcast: 17 October 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

The bus crews are falling victim to flu, the management order injections for the healthy, and Stan goes to extreme lengths to protect himself from his family.

"Yeah, lovely... fish finger soup!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E6

THE BUSMEN'S BALL

Originally broadcast: 24 October 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Blakey's not happy about hiring a stripper for the annual ball, Stan offers to cover the fare for a rather unusual passenger, and Olive gets a lot of unwanted male attention.

"What you talking about? You haven't got knees at the back!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E7

CANTEEN TROUBLE

Originally broadcast: 31 October 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Blakey's getting small portions, Stan and Jack are getting free food, and there's panic when a new face in the canteen wants a little too much.

"Don't talk wet, mate. How can they be left over from tomorrow?"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E8

THE NEW NURSE

Originally broadcast: 7 November 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

The Butler's are look for a new lodger, Blakey sees the depot nurse about his gut, and Arthur upsets Olive.

"All that primitive passion seems to have got you going, doesn't it? You want to forget that, because Olive's waiting for you."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E9

LOST PROPERTY

Originally broadcast: Derrick Goodwin
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan and Jack enjoy a free meal, Blakey introduces new rules for lost property, and there's sparkle between the sheets for Arthur and Olive..

"He can fall asleep doing anything!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E10

STAN'S UNIFORM

Originally broadcast: 21 November 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan ruins his uniform doing household jobs, Blakey's reluctant to help, and Arthur gets handy with a paint brush.

"Ah, typical!. She's so heavy-handed, everything she touches comes away in her hands."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E11

THE STRAIN

Originally broadcast: 28 November 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan hurts his back in the canteen, the doctor suggest wearing a corset while driving, and Blakey's shocked to see him back at work so soon.

"f they come upstairs with you, they're not fussy!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E12

THE NEW TELLY

Originally broadcast: 5 December 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan wants to buy a colour television for Christmas, the old one isn't worth as much as he hoped, and Blakey's upset when he's not given the chance to buy it.

"Oh, and I'd set my heart on hearing the Queen's Speech in colour."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E13

VACANCY FOR INSPECTOR

Originally broadcast: 12 December 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Blakey has to choose a new inspector, Stan feels betrayed, and there isn't enough food in the world to impress Christine.

"Cor blimey, Blakey, for a minute I thought you'd grown two heads!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E14

A THIN TIME

Originally broadcast: 19 December 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

There's no food in the cupboard, Stan has to don a new uniform to earn some extra money, and Arthur get a special delivery.

"Blimey, mate, I knew you fancied me but there's no need to put your best frock on!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S5E15

BOXING DAY SOCIAL

Originally broadcast: 26 December 1971
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Arthur's sister sets her eyes on Jack, Olive gets has a little too much to drink, and Stan gets caught making the most of a private service.

"Yeah, it was when she dropped her change. I bent down on me 'ands and knees to pick it up,and I touched her with me little 'andle."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

SERIES SIX

(1972)
7 episodes
Series Score: 46
Episode Average: 6.57
Perfect 10's: 0

S6E1

NO SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE

Originally broadcast: 20 February 1972
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis

Blakey lays the law down about after a fire in the paint shop, Stan and Arthur bet each other that they can quit smoking, and Old 666 goes out in a blaze of glory..

"I'll tell ya what mate. By the time she's finished giving you artificial respiration, you need the kiss of life!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E2

LOVE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT

Originally broadcast: 27 February 1972
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

A marriage counsellor tells Olive she needs to make herself more interesting, Stan and Jack try to play on Arthur's jealousy, and an unwitting Blakey gets caught in the middle.

"I don't know, I've never kissed a man with a moustache!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E3

PRIVATE HIRE

Originally broadcast: 5 March 1972
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis

Stan borrows money from Basher, Blakey takes an unattended bus back to the depot, and a series of money-making schemes end in failure.

"I'll tell you what we'll do... leave the icing in the bowl and spread the cake over the ice."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E4

STAN'S WORST DAY

Originally broadcast: 12 March 1972
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis

The bus gets damaged again, Blakey gets covered in paint, and Stan remembers times when things were very different.

"I'm not Arthur darling, I'm Cyril darling!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E5

UNION TROUBLE

Originally broadcast: 19 March 1972
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis

Jack calls an official strike in support of the tea lady, Blakey tries to lure a determined Stan out of his bus, and a decorating job ends in chaos.

"Yeah, all the other vampires come out at night, don't they, Blakey?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E6

BYE BYE BLAKEY

Originally broadcast: 26 March 1972
Directed by Derrick Goodwin
Written by George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Management decides that everyone should have a medical, news filters out that Blakey's days are numbered, and Stan invites the inspector round for dinner.

"Listen, you pair of ignorant specimens. I'm not gonna bandy words with you. You get in there and get your trousers down."

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S6E7

THE PRIZE

Originally broadcast: 2 April 1972
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Blakey recruits Stan to sell raffle tickets, Mum wins a holiday to the Costa Brava, and the family battle for the right to go with her.

"Yeah, let Olive get it... she never gets it!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

MUTINY ON THE BUSES

(1972)

FILM

MUTINY ON THE BUSES

Released: 9 June 1972
Directed by Harry Booth
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan accidentally agrees to get married, Arthur learns to drive a bus after losing his job, and a new manager has his eye on the depot layabouts.

"It's been so long since he's been there, I don't think he'll know the way."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

SERIES SEVEN

(1973)
13 episodes
Series Score: 95
Episode Average: 7.31
Perfect 10's: 1

S7E1

OLIVE'S DIVORCE

Originally broadcast: 26 February 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Olive's preparing for her divorce hearing, Stan's forced to watch the film at the cinema, and Blakey gets lumbered.

"He's thinking of something with her, but I don't think it's marriage. Knowing him though, he might have to... the way he goes on. I know him. It's like when he's driving one of our buses, he never knows when to stop!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E2

THE PERFECT CLIPPIE

Originally broadcast: 4 March 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

Money is as tight as ever in the Butler house, Olive gets a job on the buses, and the rules cause friction in the depot.

"If your outlook gets any broader, you won't get on the bus!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E3

THE TICKET MACHINE

Originally broadcast: 11 March 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis

Mum and Olive run up catalogue debts, Blakey refuses to give Stan a bonus, and Jack comes up with a way to make money with a stolen ticket machine..

"You'll never get into that. That's like trying to get a gallon into a pint pot!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E4

THE POSTER

Originally broadcast: 18 March 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Wally Malston, Garry Chambers

The company are looking for the perfect driver for a poster, the union choose their candidate, and Stan tries a range of beauty treatments.

"With your choppers? They're looking for a champion busman, not Champion the Wonder Horse!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E5

THE FOOTBALL MATCH

Originally broadcast: 25 March 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis

The depot try to organise a football team, the star-player gets injured, and the opposition have a lot of talent up front.

"Fit? You're not fit, you're fat, mate. You're pudding-sodden, Butler!
You're 10% man, and 90% spotted dick!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E6

ON THE OMNIBUSES

Originally broadcast: 1 April 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis

The company is celebrating their 100th anniversary, and Stan falls asleep and dreams about how things might have been.

"Well, if they're you're smalls, I don't know what your bigs are like!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E7

GOODBYE STAN

Originally broadcast: 8 April 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan gets a new job in the north, Jack suggests that getting sacked would be more profitable than handing in notice, and Blakey's looking for new digs.

"I'll tell ya what, Blakey... Oh gawd! This has made my day!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E8

HOT WATER

Originally broadcast: 15 April 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis

Blakey complains about the lack of hot water, Jack acquires an immersion heater on the cheap, and there's water everywhere.

"I expect you to set an example to the men. Blake, I've heard of 5 o'clock shadow, but not at 9 o'clock in the morning! Get a shave man, you look like a great hairy ape!"

HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E9

THE VISIT

Originally broadcast: 22 April 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

The furniture in the Butler house is looking the worse-for-wear, Stan and Jack smuggle some material out of the depot, and a surprise visit gets the better of everyone.

"Hates the light... that's what Stan said... you are Dracula!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E10

WHAT THE STARS FORETELL

Originally broadcast: 29 April 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis

Luxton & District Traction Company face takeover, redundancies look likely at the depot, and Mrs. Butler and Olive both think they're destined to marry Blakey.

"Slipper casserole!"

HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E11

THE ALLOWANCE

Originally broadcast: 6 May 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Myles Rudge

The clippies demand a Public Convenience Allowance, there are soon signs that the new system's open to abuse, and Blakey gets arrested for being a peeping tom.

"Right, now, pass the word around to the girls. They've all got to use their emergency stop signals.
Three tings a tinkle!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S7E12

FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES

Originally broadcast: 13 May 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by George Layton, Jonathan Lynn

The food in the canteen hits a new low, Blakey suggests a new cook, and Mrs. Butler meets someone from her past.

"Look here, Harpic! You stop making inseminations about my cooking or I'll thump you!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

S4E13

GARDENING TIME

Originally broadcast: 20 May 1973
Directed by Bryan Izzard
Written by Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis

The manager organises a gardening competition, Stan thinks he can win because he has a tree in his garden, and Blakey gets arrested.

"Oh yeah, yeah, well it was very dark last night, you see, er, I didn't recognise him. Anyway, he changes at midnight... he's Dracula!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

HOLIDAY ON THE BUSES

(1973)

FILM

HOLIDAY ON THE BUSES

Released: 26 December 1973
Directed by Harry Booth
Written by Ronald Chesney, Ronald Wolfe

Stan, Jack and Blakey are sacked after an accident outside the depot, a holiday camp provides jobs for all three, and the family join them for a week of chaos.

"Madam Blake, the dancing instructress!"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

INSPECTOR CYRIL BLAKE

'Blakey'
Played by Stephen Lewis
74 Episodes
in... The Kids' Outing (1971)

OLIVE RUDGE

Played by Anna Karen
74 Episodes
in... Brew It Yourself (1970)

MABEL ETHEL BUTLER

Played by Doris Hare
67 Episodes
in... Bye Bye Blakey (1972)

MABEL ETHEL BUTLER

Played by Cicely Courtneidge
7 Episodes
in... Olive Takes a Trip (1969)

JACK HARPER

Played by Bob Grant
74 Episodes
in... The 'L' Bus (1971)

STAN BUTLER

Played by Reg Varney
68 Episodes
in... Stan's Worst Day (1972)

ARTHUR RUDGE

Played by Michael Robbins
61 Episodes
in... Going Steady (1970)

IRIS

Played by Gwendolyn Watts
(2 episodes)
in... The New Conductor (S1E2 - 1969)

LIZ

Played by Ursula Mohan
(1 episode)
in... Self Defence (S2E3 - 1969)

JOYCE

Played by Avril Gaynor
(1 episodes)
in... Self Defence (S2E3 - 1969)

DOREEN

Played by Kate Williams
(1 episode)
in... Late Again (S2E5 - 1969)

SALLY

Played by Madeleine Mills
(2 episodes)
in... The Inspector's Niece (S3E3 - 1970)

SUZE

Played by Sally Douglas
(2 episodes)
in... Brew It Yourself (S3E4 - 1970)

FATIMA

Played by Julie Mendez
(2 episodes)
in... The Snake (S3E6 - 1970)

JOYCE

Played by Ursula Mohan
(4 episodes)
in... Radio Control (S3E8 - 1970)

INGRID

Played by Yutte Stensgaard
(1 episode)
in... The New Uniforms (S3E10 - 1970)

JOYCE

Played by Pauline Cunningham
(1 episode)
in... The New Uniforms (S3E10 - 1970)

EDNA

Played by Patricia Clapton
(2 episodes)
in... On the Make (S3E13 - 1970)

SUZY

Played by Suzanne Heath
(1 episode)
in... Nowhere to Go (S4E1 - 1970)

EDNA

Played by Ursula Mohan
(1 episode)
in... Nowhere to Go (S4E1 - 1970)

MOLLY

Played by Gaye Brown
(1 episode)
in... The Canteen Girl (S4E2 - 1970)

PAT

Played by Clare Sutcliffe
(1 episode)
in... Dangerous Driving (S4E3 - 1970)

EDNA

Played by Linda Regan
(1 episode)
in... Christmas Duty (S4E5 - 1970)

JANET

Played by Olivia Breeze
(1 episode)
in... The 'L' Bus (S4E6 - 1971)

BETTY

Played by Julie Morrell
(2 episodes)
in... The 'L' Bus (S4E6 - 1971)

STELLA

Played by Charlotte Howard
(1 episode)
in... Not Tonight (S4E13 - 1971)

MOLLY

Played by Deirdre Costello
(1 episode)
in... Not Tonight (S4E13 - 1971)

SUZY

Played by Jeannette Wild

in... On the Buses (Film - 1971)

SALLY

Played by Pat Ashton

in... On the Buses (Film - 1971)

BRIDGET

Played by Brenda Gogan

in... On the Buses (Film - 1971)

BETTY

Played by Andrea Lawrence

in... On the Buses (Film - 1971)

DOREEN

Played by Pat Ashton
(2 episodes)
in... Stan's Room (S5E2 - 1971)

SANDRA

Played by Sharon Young
(1 episode)
in... The Epidemic (S5E5 - 1971)

EILEEN

Played by Cheryl Hall
(1 episode)
in... The Epidemic (S5E5 - 1971)

SUZY

Played by Andrea Lawrence
(1 episode)
in... Canteen Trouble (S5E7 - 1971)

CHRISTINE

Played by Madeleine Mills
(1 episode)
in... Vacancy for Inspector (S5E13 - 1971)

LINDA

Played by Helen Fraser
(1 episode)
in... Boxing Day Social (S5E15 - 1971)

FRIEDA

Played by Pauline Cunningham
(1 episode)
in... No Smoke Without Fire (S6E1 - 1972)

SUSY

Played by Mary Land
(1 episode)
in... No Smoke Without Fire (S6E1 - 1972)

SUSY

Played by Janet Mahoney

in... Mutiny On the Buses (Film - 1972)

GLORIA

Played by Jan Rennison

in... Mutiny on the Buses (Film - 1972)

SANDRA

Played by Sandra Bryant
(4 episodes & Holiday on the Buses)
in... The Allowance (S7E11 - 1973)

BETTY

Played by Sue Bond
(1 episode)
in... Olive's Divorce (S7E1 - 1973)

RITA

Played by Jeannette Wild
(1 episode)
in... The Football Match (S7E5 - 1973)

JOYCE

Played by Melanie Jane
(1 episode)
in... Hot Water (S7E8 - 1973)

MAVIS

Played by Maureen Sweeney

in... Holiday on the Buses (Film - 1973)

JOAN

Played by Kate Williams

in... Holiday on the Buses (Film - 1973)

MARIA

Played by Gigi Gatti

in... Holiday on the Buses (Film - 1973)