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Movie list created by Agent Kermit D. Fonz 
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1963
6.6
7
Wayne's World (1992)
Wayne Campbell: So, do you come to Milwaukee often?
Alice Cooper: Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were coming here as early as the late 1600s to trade with the Native Americans.
Pete: In fact, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. Actually, it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."
Wayne Campbell: I was not aware of that.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: I'd never done a crazy thing in my life before that night. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle, it's called heroic, yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder?
Wayne Campbell: Hel-lo! What do you think you're doing? Only me and Garth get to talk to the camera.
Frankie Sharp: I'm Frankie Sharp. I saw your performance in my limo. I've seen a lot of acts in my day, and although you're very beautiful, I just think it's the wrong time. I'm sorry.
Garth Algar: Hey Mr. Donut Man, who's trying to kill ya? I don't know but they better not!
Wayne Campbell: All I have to say about that is "asphinctersayswhat".
Noah Vanderhoff: What?
Wayne Campbell: Exactly.
Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?
Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.
Tiny: Wayne. How you doin'?
Wayne Campbell: Hey, Tiny, who's playing today?
Tiny: Jolly Green Giants and the Shitty Beetles.
Wayne Campbell: Shitty Beetles? Are they any good?
Tiny: They suck.
Wayne Campbell: Then it's not just a clever name.
Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.
Garth Algar: Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" where the guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?
Benjamin: Wayne! Listen, we need to have a talk about Vanderhoff. The fact is he's the sponsor and you signed a contract guaranteeing him certain concessions, one of them being a spot on the show.
Wayne Campbell: Well that's where I see things just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor.
Benjamin: I'm sorry you feel that way, but basically it's the nature of the beast.
Wayne Campbell: Maybe I'm wrong on this one, but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. Garth, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Garth Algar: It's like people only do these things because they can get paid. And that's just really sad.
Wayne Campbell: I can't talk about it anymore; it's giving me a headache.
Garth Algar: Here, take two of these!
Wayne Campbell: Ah, Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different.
Benjamin: Look, you can stay here in the big leagues and play by the rules, or you can go back to the farm club in Aurora. It's your choice.
Wayne Campbell: Yes, and it's the choice of a new generation.
Frankie Sharp: Hi. I'm Frankie Sharp. I saw your performance in my limo. I must tell you, it was terrific. In fact, I think it's so good, I'm gonna give you a six-album deal.
Wayne: What's the difference between Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man, really?
Noah Vanderhoff: Well she's got a bow in her hair.
Wayne: Get right out of town!
Alice Cooper: Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were coming here as early as the late 1600s to trade with the Native Americans.
Pete: In fact, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. Actually, it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."
Wayne Campbell: I was not aware of that.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: I'd never done a crazy thing in my life before that night. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle, it's called heroic, yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder?
Wayne Campbell: Hel-lo! What do you think you're doing? Only me and Garth get to talk to the camera.
Frankie Sharp: I'm Frankie Sharp. I saw your performance in my limo. I've seen a lot of acts in my day, and although you're very beautiful, I just think it's the wrong time. I'm sorry.
Garth Algar: Hey Mr. Donut Man, who's trying to kill ya? I don't know but they better not!
Wayne Campbell: All I have to say about that is "asphinctersayswhat".
Noah Vanderhoff: What?
Wayne Campbell: Exactly.
Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?
Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.
Tiny: Wayne. How you doin'?
Wayne Campbell: Hey, Tiny, who's playing today?
Tiny: Jolly Green Giants and the Shitty Beetles.
Wayne Campbell: Shitty Beetles? Are they any good?
Tiny: They suck.
Wayne Campbell: Then it's not just a clever name.
Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.
Garth Algar: Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" where the guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?
Benjamin: Wayne! Listen, we need to have a talk about Vanderhoff. The fact is he's the sponsor and you signed a contract guaranteeing him certain concessions, one of them being a spot on the show.
Wayne Campbell: Well that's where I see things just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor.
Benjamin: I'm sorry you feel that way, but basically it's the nature of the beast.
Wayne Campbell: Maybe I'm wrong on this one, but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. Garth, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Garth Algar: It's like people only do these things because they can get paid. And that's just really sad.
Wayne Campbell: I can't talk about it anymore; it's giving me a headache.
Garth Algar: Here, take two of these!
Wayne Campbell: Ah, Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different.
Benjamin: Look, you can stay here in the big leagues and play by the rules, or you can go back to the farm club in Aurora. It's your choice.
Wayne Campbell: Yes, and it's the choice of a new generation.
Frankie Sharp: Hi. I'm Frankie Sharp. I saw your performance in my limo. I must tell you, it was terrific. In fact, I think it's so good, I'm gonna give you a six-album deal.
Wayne: What's the difference between Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man, really?
Noah Vanderhoff: Well she's got a bow in her hair.
Wayne: Get right out of town!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1106
5.8
6.2
Wayne's World 2 (1993)
Cassandra: Wait, let me show you what I got at a garage sale.
Wayne: What'cha got?
Cassandra: Isn't that great? You've heard it?
Wayne: Exqueese me? Have I seen this one before? "Frampton Comes Alive"? Everybody in the world has Frampton Comes Alive. If you lived in the suburbs you were issued it. It came in the mail with samples of "Tide".
Cassandra: Look at this old one. Gerry and the Pacemakers.
Wayne: Wow. That is old. You know, I bet those guys actually have pacemakers by now.
Del Preston: Woodstock? That was quite a show, man.
Garth: You were at Woodstock?
Wayne: Excellent! What was it like?
Del Preston: It rained all morning, and then it cleared up in the afternoon. And that's it, I almost remembered something else, but it's gone.
Garth: So, did Jim Morrison give you Del Preston's exact address?
Wayne: Yeah, he said EXACTLY London, England.
Garth: Uh, Wayne, you know, I don't think you should mention that Jim Morrison thing anymore. It's just that people have started to talk, you know. They're saying things like, "Hey, there goes Garth and his friend Wayne... the psychopath."
Garth: How can you sleep like that?
Del Preston: Listen, sonny Jim. Sleeping like this will add ten years to your life. I learned it from Keith Richards when I toured with the Stones. This may be the reason why Keith cannot be killed by conventional weapons.
Wayne: Here we are, at Piccadilly Circus!
Garth: Wow, what a shitty circus.
Wayne: Good call. There's no animals or clowns! What a ripoff!
Milton: I hate my father. I hate my life. But I feel great! You guys are great. I'm gonna go pick a fight.
Wayne: He's gotten a lot better.
Garth: Way better.
Wayne: What'cha got?
Cassandra: Isn't that great? You've heard it?
Wayne: Exqueese me? Have I seen this one before? "Frampton Comes Alive"? Everybody in the world has Frampton Comes Alive. If you lived in the suburbs you were issued it. It came in the mail with samples of "Tide".
Cassandra: Look at this old one. Gerry and the Pacemakers.
Wayne: Wow. That is old. You know, I bet those guys actually have pacemakers by now.
Del Preston: Woodstock? That was quite a show, man.
Garth: You were at Woodstock?
Wayne: Excellent! What was it like?
Del Preston: It rained all morning, and then it cleared up in the afternoon. And that's it, I almost remembered something else, but it's gone.
Garth: So, did Jim Morrison give you Del Preston's exact address?
Wayne: Yeah, he said EXACTLY London, England.
Garth: Uh, Wayne, you know, I don't think you should mention that Jim Morrison thing anymore. It's just that people have started to talk, you know. They're saying things like, "Hey, there goes Garth and his friend Wayne... the psychopath."
Garth: How can you sleep like that?
Del Preston: Listen, sonny Jim. Sleeping like this will add ten years to your life. I learned it from Keith Richards when I toured with the Stones. This may be the reason why Keith cannot be killed by conventional weapons.
Wayne: Here we are, at Piccadilly Circus!
Garth: Wow, what a shitty circus.
Wayne: Good call. There's no animals or clowns! What a ripoff!
Milton: I hate my father. I hate my life. But I feel great! You guys are great. I'm gonna go pick a fight.
Wayne: He's gotten a lot better.
Garth: Way better.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1949
6.3
6.9
Ted (2012)
Ted: I look stupid.
John: No, you don't, you look dapper.
Ted: John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell 'em Grandma died.
Tom Skerritt: My daughter better still be alive you sick son of a bitch.
John: What is this?
Ted: It's called "Mind Rape", it's actually pretty mellow.
John: It doesn't sound very mellow.
Ted: Well he only had three other batches: "Gorilla Panic", "They're coming! They're coming!" and something called "This Is Permanent"... Go on, spark it up!
John: I think back to that Christmas morning and I wish I'd just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.
Ted: Say that again.
John: Teddy Rux-fuckin'-pin
Ted: I look like Snuggles' accountant.
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
John: No, you don't, you look dapper.
Ted: John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell 'em Grandma died.
Tom Skerritt: My daughter better still be alive you sick son of a bitch.
John: What is this?
Ted: It's called "Mind Rape", it's actually pretty mellow.
John: It doesn't sound very mellow.
Ted: Well he only had three other batches: "Gorilla Panic", "They're coming! They're coming!" and something called "This Is Permanent"... Go on, spark it up!
John: I think back to that Christmas morning and I wish I'd just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.
Ted: Say that again.
John: Teddy Rux-fuckin'-pin
Ted: I look like Snuggles' accountant.
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1009
5.9
6.2
Total Recall (2012)
Doug Quaid: If I'm not me, then who the hell am I?
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
631
5.9
6.2
Tower Heist (2011)
Mr. Fitzhugh: Shouldn't we be avoiding law enforcement? I never saw an episode of Matlock where the criminal banged Matlock!
Josh Kovacs: He's been arrested a bunch of times. He pays no income taxes. He's got 2 Doberman Pinschers. So let's show him some respect, OK?
Josh Kovacs: He's been arrested a bunch of times. He pays no income taxes. He's got 2 Doberman Pinschers. So let's show him some respect, OK?
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1193
7.1
7.6
Billy Beane: Would you rather get one shot in the head or five in the chest and bleed to death?
Peter Brand: Are those my only two options?
Scott Hatteberg: I've only ever played catcher.
Billy Beane: It's not that hard, Scott. Tell him, Wash.
Ron Washington: It's incredibly hard.
Billy Beane: You think losing is fun?
Billy Beane: How can you not get romantic about baseball?
Peter Brand: I wanted you to see these player evaluations that you asked me to do.
Billy Beane: I asked you to do three.
Peter Brand: Yeah.
Billy Beane: To evaluate three players.
Peter Brand: Yeah.
Billy Beane: How many you'd do?
Peter Brand: Forty-seven.
Billy Beane: Okay.
Peter Brand: Actually, fifty-one. I don't know why I lied just then.
Billy Beane: If we try to play like the Yankees in here, we will lose to the Yankees out there.
Billy Beane: Guys, you're just talking. Talking, "la-la-la-la", like this is business as usual. It's not.
Grady Fuson: We're trying to solve the problem here, Billy.
Billy Beane: Not like this you're not. You're not even looking at the problem.
Grady Fuson: We're very aware of the problem. I mean...
Billy Beane: Okay, good. What's the problem?
Grady Fuson: Look, Billy, we all understand what the problem is. We have to...
Billy Beane: Okay, good. What's the problem?
Grady Fuson: The problem is we have to replace three key players in our lineup.
Billy Beane: Nope. What's the problem?
Pittaro: Same as it's ever been. We've gotta replace these guys with what we have existing.
Billy Beane: Nope. What's the problem, Barry?
Scout Barry: We need 38 home runs, 120 RBIs and 47 doubles to replace.
Billy Beane: Ehh!
Billy Beane: The problem we're trying to solve is that there are rich teams and there are poor teams. Then there's fifty feet of crap, and then there's us. It's an unfair game. And now we've been gutted. We're like organ donors for the rich. Boston's taken our kidneys, Yankees have taken our heart. And you guys just sit around talking the same old "good body" nonsense like we're selling jeans. Like we're looking for Fabio. We've got to think differently. We are the last dog at the bowl. You see what happens to the runt of the litter? He dies.
Billy Beane: I made one decision in my life based on money. And I swore I would never do it again.
Peter Brand: Are those my only two options?
Scott Hatteberg: I've only ever played catcher.
Billy Beane: It's not that hard, Scott. Tell him, Wash.
Ron Washington: It's incredibly hard.
Billy Beane: You think losing is fun?
Billy Beane: How can you not get romantic about baseball?
Peter Brand: I wanted you to see these player evaluations that you asked me to do.
Billy Beane: I asked you to do three.
Peter Brand: Yeah.
Billy Beane: To evaluate three players.
Peter Brand: Yeah.
Billy Beane: How many you'd do?
Peter Brand: Forty-seven.
Billy Beane: Okay.
Peter Brand: Actually, fifty-one. I don't know why I lied just then.
Billy Beane: If we try to play like the Yankees in here, we will lose to the Yankees out there.
Billy Beane: Guys, you're just talking. Talking, "la-la-la-la", like this is business as usual. It's not.
Grady Fuson: We're trying to solve the problem here, Billy.
Billy Beane: Not like this you're not. You're not even looking at the problem.
Grady Fuson: We're very aware of the problem. I mean...
Billy Beane: Okay, good. What's the problem?
Grady Fuson: Look, Billy, we all understand what the problem is. We have to...
Billy Beane: Okay, good. What's the problem?
Grady Fuson: The problem is we have to replace three key players in our lineup.
Billy Beane: Nope. What's the problem?
Pittaro: Same as it's ever been. We've gotta replace these guys with what we have existing.
Billy Beane: Nope. What's the problem, Barry?
Scout Barry: We need 38 home runs, 120 RBIs and 47 doubles to replace.
Billy Beane: Ehh!
Billy Beane: The problem we're trying to solve is that there are rich teams and there are poor teams. Then there's fifty feet of crap, and then there's us. It's an unfair game. And now we've been gutted. We're like organ donors for the rich. Boston's taken our kidneys, Yankees have taken our heart. And you guys just sit around talking the same old "good body" nonsense like we're selling jeans. Like we're looking for Fabio. We've got to think differently. We are the last dog at the bowl. You see what happens to the runt of the litter? He dies.
Billy Beane: I made one decision in my life based on money. And I swore I would never do it again.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
370
6.1
6.3
Kumar: I haven't shaved since you left. Pretty romantic, right? Like Ryan Gosling in "The Notebook."
Wafflebot: They serve Pancakes in Hell!
Wafflebot: They serve Pancakes in Hell!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
169
6.5
6.6
Home for the Holidays (1995)
Adele: I'm giving thanks that we don't have to go through this for another year. Except we do, because those bastards went and put Christmas right in the middle, just to punish us.
Leo: Walter, when you say "cash is king," what's that mean?
Walter: Cash is the fossil fuel that keeps our economic pistons pumping.
Claudia 'Clyde' Larson: Didn't you have a girlfriend, or...
Russell 'Sad Sack' Terziak: Yeah, she went and married my best buddy Ray.
Leo: Walter, when you say "cash is king," what's that mean?
Walter: Cash is the fossil fuel that keeps our economic pistons pumping.
Claudia 'Clyde' Larson: Didn't you have a girlfriend, or...
Russell 'Sad Sack' Terziak: Yeah, she went and married my best buddy Ray.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
506
6.2
6.1
Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)
Hobo: I used to be like you... a long time ago. All brand new and perfect. No mistakes, no regrets. People look at you and think of how wonderful your future will be. They want you to be something special... like a doctor or a lawyer. I hate to tell you this, but if you grow up here, you're more likely to wind up selling your bodies on the streets, or shooting dope from dirty needles in a bus stop. And if you're successful, you'll make money selling junk to crackheads. And don't think twice about killing someone's wife, because you won't even know it's wrong in the first place. Maybe... you'll end up like me. A hobo with a shotgun.
Hobo: I think I'm okay now. I just tell my brain when I know I'm hurting. I just say I got nothing for you buddy... Nothing to make it go away, so just go to hell. And he goes. He's like a brother to me now and brothers fight sometimes.
Abby: Well, I think it's time to put you and your brother to bed.
Drake: When life gives you razor blades, you make a baseball bat... with razor blades.
Abby: You can't solve all the world's problems with a shotgun.
Hobo: It's all I know.
Hobo: I think I'm okay now. I just tell my brain when I know I'm hurting. I just say I got nothing for you buddy... Nothing to make it go away, so just go to hell. And he goes. He's like a brother to me now and brothers fight sometimes.
Abby: Well, I think it's time to put you and your brother to bed.
Drake: When life gives you razor blades, you make a baseball bat... with razor blades.
Abby: You can't solve all the world's problems with a shotgun.
Hobo: It's all I know.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
41
7.1
6.6
One Magic Christmas (1985)
Herbie Conklin: Ginny, where do you think you're going?
Ginny Hanks Grainger: Herbie, I just have to go to the bank, just for two seconds, you can take my register until I get back.
Herbie Conklin: Me? I am the manager here and you're not going anywhere, we're in the middle of a Christmas rush here.
Ginny Hanks Grainger: If anyone says another thing about Christmas to me I'm gonna throw something at them and I mean it! Now I'm going to the bank, Herbie.
Herbie Conklin: Then that's it, you're fired, Ginny.
Ginny Hanks Grainger: Go jump in the lake, Herbie!
Ginny Hanks Grainger: Herbie, I just have to go to the bank, just for two seconds, you can take my register until I get back.
Herbie Conklin: Me? I am the manager here and you're not going anywhere, we're in the middle of a Christmas rush here.
Ginny Hanks Grainger: If anyone says another thing about Christmas to me I'm gonna throw something at them and I mean it! Now I'm going to the bank, Herbie.
Herbie Conklin: Then that's it, you're fired, Ginny.
Ginny Hanks Grainger: Go jump in the lake, Herbie!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1346
5.4
5.5
Lady in the Water (2006)
Cleveland Heep: H-how was the movie?
Harry Farber: Sucked
Cleveland Heep: Oh... what a shame.
Harry Farber: Characters were walking around, saying their thoughts out loud. Who does that? And in a typical romance where the couple finally tell each other they love one another in the rain. Why does everyonelike to stand around and talk in the rain in movies?
Cleveland Heep: Um... well maybe it's a metaphor for purification; starting new.
Harry Farber: No, it's not!
Joey Dury: The pictures on the cereal box are supposed to make you feel happy. But I feel sad, like the time you forgot to pick me up at school.
Harry Farber: Sucked
Cleveland Heep: Oh... what a shame.
Harry Farber: Characters were walking around, saying their thoughts out loud. Who does that? And in a typical romance where the couple finally tell each other they love one another in the rain. Why does everyonelike to stand around and talk in the rain in movies?
Cleveland Heep: Um... well maybe it's a metaphor for purification; starting new.
Harry Farber: No, it's not!
Joey Dury: The pictures on the cereal box are supposed to make you feel happy. But I feel sad, like the time you forgot to pick me up at school.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
496
6.7
6.6
Sarah Roberts: She's that kind of a woman. She's... European.
Miriam Blaylock: My husband is not here.
Sarah Roberts: When wiII he be back?
Miriam Blaylock: He's gone to SwitzerIand.
Miriam Blaylock: My husband is not here.
Sarah Roberts: When wiII he be back?
Miriam Blaylock: He's gone to SwitzerIand.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
749
5.4
6.1
Days of Thunder (1990)
Dr. Claire Lewicki: You and Rowdy have the same sickness, it's called denial and it's probably going to kill you both.
Harry Hogge: What do you know about stock car racing?
Cole Trickle: Well... watched it on television, of course.
Harry Hogge: You've seen it on television?
Cole Trickle: ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.
Harry Hogge: I'm sure I would.
Tim Daland: And Harry, I know you're great, you know you're great, but if the guy in the car doesn't trust you, we're never gonna win a damn race.
Harry Hogge: What do you know about stock car racing?
Cole Trickle: Well... watched it on television, of course.
Harry Hogge: You've seen it on television?
Cole Trickle: ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.
Harry Hogge: I'm sure I would.
Tim Daland: And Harry, I know you're great, you know you're great, but if the guy in the car doesn't trust you, we're never gonna win a damn race.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
2099
7.4
7.8
American Gangster (2007)
Frank Lucas: Now, I got no problem with you showin' up in court tomorrow with your head blown in half.
Detective Richie Roberts: Get in line. That one stretches around the block too.
Detective Richie Roberts: The number one fear of people isn't dying, it's public speaking.
Detective Richie Roberts: Get in line. That one stretches around the block too.
Detective Richie Roberts: The number one fear of people isn't dying, it's public speaking.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1249
5.6
6.3
Chazz: This guy could not hold my jock sweat.
Jimmy: I could hold it all day long, try me!
Chazz: Maybe I will.
Jimmy: Maybe you should.
Chazz: You challenging me, princess?
Jimmy: I'm not inviting you to the Skating Federation's annual Christmas party.
Chazz: Then bring it on!
Jimmy: It is on.
Jimmy: I could hold it all day long, try me!
Chazz: Maybe I will.
Jimmy: Maybe you should.
Chazz: You challenging me, princess?
Jimmy: I'm not inviting you to the Skating Federation's annual Christmas party.
Chazz: Then bring it on!
Jimmy: It is on.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
289
5.3
5.8
Undercover Brother (2002)
Undercover Brother: You mess with the 'fro, you got to go.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
2108
7.5
7.8
Misery (1990)
Annie Wilkes: It's the swearing, Paul. It has no nobility.
Paul Sheldon: These are slum kids, I was a slum kid. Everybody talks like that.
Annie Wilkes: THEY DO NOT! At the feedstore do I say, "Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in' pig feed, and a pound of that bitchly cow corn"? At the bank do I say, "Oh, Mrs. Malenger, here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money!" THERE, LOOK THERE, NOW SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!
Annie Wilkes: Anything else I can get for you while I am in town? How about a tiny tape recorder, or how about a homemade pair of writing slippers?
Paul Sheldon: No, just the paper would be fine.
Annie Wilkes: Are you sure? Because if you want I can bring back the whole store for you!
Paul Sheldon: Annie, what's the matter?
Annie Wilkes: WHAT'S THE MATTER? I will tell you "what's the matter!" I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? "Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Annie, I can't write on this paper, Annie!" Well, I'll get your stupid paper but you just better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!
Annie Wilkes: YOU! YOU DIRTY BIRD, HOW COULD YOU!
Paul Sheldon: What?
Annie Wilkes: She can't be dead, MISERY CHASTAIN CANNOT BE DEAD!
Paul Sheldon: Annie, in 1871, women often died during childbirth. But her SPIRIT is the important thing, and Misery's spirit is still alive.
Annie Wilkes: I DON'T WANT HER SPIRIT! I WANT HER, AND YOU MURDERED HER!
Paul Sheldon: No I didn't.
Annie Wilkes: WHO DID?
Paul Sheldon: No one did! She just died! She... she... slipped away!
Annie Wilkes: SLIPPED AWAY! SLIPPED AWAY? SHE DIDN'T JUST SLIP AWAY! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! YOU MURDERED MY MISERY!
Paul Sheldon: These are slum kids, I was a slum kid. Everybody talks like that.
Annie Wilkes: THEY DO NOT! At the feedstore do I say, "Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in' pig feed, and a pound of that bitchly cow corn"? At the bank do I say, "Oh, Mrs. Malenger, here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money!" THERE, LOOK THERE, NOW SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!
Annie Wilkes: Anything else I can get for you while I am in town? How about a tiny tape recorder, or how about a homemade pair of writing slippers?
Paul Sheldon: No, just the paper would be fine.
Annie Wilkes: Are you sure? Because if you want I can bring back the whole store for you!
Paul Sheldon: Annie, what's the matter?
Annie Wilkes: WHAT'S THE MATTER? I will tell you "what's the matter!" I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? "Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Annie, I can't write on this paper, Annie!" Well, I'll get your stupid paper but you just better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!
Annie Wilkes: YOU! YOU DIRTY BIRD, HOW COULD YOU!
Paul Sheldon: What?
Annie Wilkes: She can't be dead, MISERY CHASTAIN CANNOT BE DEAD!
Paul Sheldon: Annie, in 1871, women often died during childbirth. But her SPIRIT is the important thing, and Misery's spirit is still alive.
Annie Wilkes: I DON'T WANT HER SPIRIT! I WANT HER, AND YOU MURDERED HER!
Paul Sheldon: No I didn't.
Annie Wilkes: WHO DID?
Paul Sheldon: No one did! She just died! She... she... slipped away!
Annie Wilkes: SLIPPED AWAY! SLIPPED AWAY? SHE DIDN'T JUST SLIP AWAY! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! YOU MURDERED MY MISERY!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
154
6.3
6.7
Time Lincoln: Quick, to the new Beetle convertible!
Ignignokt: Welcome home, baby! I say this to all of your things, for this is a robbery.
Ignignokt: Welcome home, baby! I say this to all of your things, for this is a robbery.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
236
6.5
6.8
Eagle vs Shark (2007)
Jarrod: I almost came as a shark actually, but then I realized an eagle's slightly better.
Lily: I have two things to say. One: I am leaving tomorrow on a bus. Two: that could change.
Lily: I have two things to say. One: I am leaving tomorrow on a bus. Two: that could change.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
109
5
5.6
Tom Arnold: Hey, we're sorry about all that stuff we said before you hit that homer...
Stan: Yeah, you wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for Roseanne.
Big Horse Borelli: You know, a lot of people said that Stan only looked out for himself, that he wasn't a team player. But I'm here to tell you, if you get 3000 hits, you don't have to be a team player. If you have a lifetime .314 average, you don't have to be a good guy. If you lead the league in batting for three years, you can be the biggest jerk in the world!
Stan: Stan, you're going to be the best looking cat in the Hall of Fame, that's for dog gone sure.
Stan: Yeah, you wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for Roseanne.
Big Horse Borelli: You know, a lot of people said that Stan only looked out for himself, that he wasn't a team player. But I'm here to tell you, if you get 3000 hits, you don't have to be a team player. If you have a lifetime .314 average, you don't have to be a good guy. If you lead the league in batting for three years, you can be the biggest jerk in the world!
Stan: Stan, you're going to be the best looking cat in the Hall of Fame, that's for dog gone sure.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
2325
5.2
5.3
Ghost Rider (2007)
Mephistopheles: Perhaps you'll ride for me some day.
Young Johnny Blaze: You run a show?
Mephistopheles: Greatest show on Earth.
Johnny Blaze: 300 Feet. Pretty neat, pretty neat.
Johnny Blaze: Thank you for telling me I'm the devil's bounty hunter.
Young Johnny Blaze: You run a show?
Mephistopheles: Greatest show on Earth.
Johnny Blaze: 300 Feet. Pretty neat, pretty neat.
Johnny Blaze: Thank you for telling me I'm the devil's bounty hunter.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1837
7.3
7.5
Grindhouse (2007)
Stuntman Mike: Do I frighten you?
Stuntman Mike: Is it my scar?
Arlene: It's your car.
Stuntman Mike: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. It's my mom's car.
Stuntman Mike: How do you think they accomplish that?
Pam: CGI?
Stuntman Mike: Well, nowadays unfortunately you're right more often than not. But back in the all or nothing days, the Vanishing Point days, the Dirty Mary Crazy Larry days, the White Line Fever days, they had real cars crashing into real cars and real dumb people driving em.
Cherry: It's go go, not cry cry.
Stuntman Mike: You know how people say, YOU'RE OKAY IN MY BOOK, or AND IN MY BOOK THAT'S NO GOOD. Well, I actually have... a book. And everybody I ever met goes in this book. And now I've met you, and... YOU'RE GOING IN THE BOOK TOO. Unfortunately, now I'm gonna have to file you under chicken... shit.
Kim: Actually, we're paying you a compliment cause we're gonna do some stupid shit, but that's ok, cause we're stunt people, we ain't got good sense, but you've got good sense, and anybody with good sense ain't gonna wanna do what we're doin'.
Stuntman Mike: Is it my scar?
Arlene: It's your car.
Stuntman Mike: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. It's my mom's car.
Stuntman Mike: How do you think they accomplish that?
Pam: CGI?
Stuntman Mike: Well, nowadays unfortunately you're right more often than not. But back in the all or nothing days, the Vanishing Point days, the Dirty Mary Crazy Larry days, the White Line Fever days, they had real cars crashing into real cars and real dumb people driving em.
Cherry: It's go go, not cry cry.
Stuntman Mike: You know how people say, YOU'RE OKAY IN MY BOOK, or AND IN MY BOOK THAT'S NO GOOD. Well, I actually have... a book. And everybody I ever met goes in this book. And now I've met you, and... YOU'RE GOING IN THE BOOK TOO. Unfortunately, now I'm gonna have to file you under chicken... shit.
Kim: Actually, we're paying you a compliment cause we're gonna do some stupid shit, but that's ok, cause we're stunt people, we ain't got good sense, but you've got good sense, and anybody with good sense ain't gonna wanna do what we're doin'.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
532
4.5
4.2
Juan Ramirez: You've remembered almost everything I taught you.
Conner MacLeod: I've had a lot of practice lately.
Juan Ramirez: There is no substitute for experience.
Conner MacLeod: What experience? You've been dead for five hundred years.
Ramirez: Most people have a full measure of life... and most people just watch it slowly drip away. But if you can summon it all up... at one time... in one place... you can accomplish something... glorious.
Conner MacLeod: I've had a lot of practice lately.
Juan Ramirez: There is no substitute for experience.
Conner MacLeod: What experience? You've been dead for five hundred years.
Ramirez: Most people have a full measure of life... and most people just watch it slowly drip away. But if you can summon it all up... at one time... in one place... you can accomplish something... glorious.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
5686
7.1
7.5
Ron Weasley: Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I have ever met. If I'm ever rude to you...
Hermione Granger: I'll know you've gone back to normal.
Ron Weasley: Hermione, I hate your cat.
Kingsley Shacklebolt: You may not like him, Minister, but you can't deny: Dumbledore's got style.
Hermione Granger: I'll know you've gone back to normal.
Ron Weasley: Hermione, I hate your cat.
Kingsley Shacklebolt: You may not like him, Minister, but you can't deny: Dumbledore's got style.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
611
7
7.2
The Hitcher (1986)
Interrogation Sergeant: What's your name? Come on. What's your name? Do you have a name? Do you have a police record? Where are you from?
John Ryder: Disneyland.
Nash: Actually we're all from Mars around here, we keep our spaceship out back. So... what planet are you from?
Jim Halsey: What do you want?
John Ryder: I want you to stop me.
John Ryder: Disneyland.
Nash: Actually we're all from Mars around here, we keep our spaceship out back. So... what planet are you from?
Jim Halsey: What do you want?
John Ryder: I want you to stop me.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
225
7.2
7
The Hidden (1987)
Tom Beck: What the hell is that?
Sanchez: A flame-thrower man, can you believe it? Patrol picked this up off some homeboy on the street.
Tom Beck: I want to ask you if I'm crazy, or does this seem just a little bizarre?
Lloyd Gallagher: Yeah, it's a little bizarre.
Tom Beck: I knew that. I just wanted to know if you knew that.
Sanchez: A flame-thrower man, can you believe it? Patrol picked this up off some homeboy on the street.
Tom Beck: I want to ask you if I'm crazy, or does this seem just a little bizarre?
Lloyd Gallagher: Yeah, it's a little bizarre.
Tom Beck: I knew that. I just wanted to know if you knew that.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
3017
7.5
7.8
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Heston Services Clerk: Sir, is there anything I can do for you?
Nicholas Angel: No... This is something I have to do myself.
Danny Butterman: Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'
Nicholas Angel: Sergeant Butterman, the little hand says it's time to rock and roll!
Danny Butterman: What about... 'Lethal Weapon'?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: You've seen 'Die Hard', though?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: 'Bad Boys II'?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: You ain't seen 'Bad Boys II'?
Danny Butterman: Point Break or Bad Boys II?
Nicholas Angel: Which one do you think I'll prefer?
Danny Butterman: No, I mean which one do you wanna watch first?
Simon Skinner: My, my, here come the Fuzz.
Nicholas Angel: We just sat through three hours of so-called acting, constable, and their kiss was the only convincing moment of it.
Danny Butterman: Supercop. Meet the cop that can't be stopped.
Nicholas Angel: No... This is something I have to do myself.
Danny Butterman: Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'
Nicholas Angel: Sergeant Butterman, the little hand says it's time to rock and roll!
Danny Butterman: What about... 'Lethal Weapon'?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: You've seen 'Die Hard', though?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: 'Bad Boys II'?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: You ain't seen 'Bad Boys II'?
Danny Butterman: Point Break or Bad Boys II?
Nicholas Angel: Which one do you think I'll prefer?
Danny Butterman: No, I mean which one do you wanna watch first?
Simon Skinner: My, my, here come the Fuzz.
Nicholas Angel: We just sat through three hours of so-called acting, constable, and their kiss was the only convincing moment of it.
Danny Butterman: Supercop. Meet the cop that can't be stopped.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
346
6.7
7.1
Beautiful Girls (1996)
Willie Conway: You know in five years you won't even remember me.
Willie Conway: I can't play Pooh to your Christopher Robin.
Tracy: You look awful.
Willie Conway: I've been drunk for two weeks.
Marty: It's a tragedy of Elizabethan proportions.
Kev: Stay cool, man. Stay cool forever.
Tommy: No, Paul is not my friend. He lives in my house. I got cockroaches, I got termites... I got Paul.
Willie Conway: Bye Marty.
Marty: Later Pooh.
Willie Conway: I can't play Pooh to your Christopher Robin.
Tracy: You look awful.
Willie Conway: I've been drunk for two weeks.
Marty: It's a tragedy of Elizabethan proportions.
Kev: Stay cool, man. Stay cool forever.
Tommy: No, Paul is not my friend. He lives in my house. I got cockroaches, I got termites... I got Paul.
Willie Conway: Bye Marty.
Marty: Later Pooh.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
365
6.9
7.2
The Big Chill (1983)
Chloe: Alex and I made love the night before he died. It was fantastic.
Nick: He went out with a bang, not a whimper.
Sam Weber: Do you think we're all trying trying to avoid dealing with Alex? You know, every time it comes up somebody changes the subject.
Nick: Hey, it's a dead subject.
Nick: Wise up, folks. We're all alone out there and tomorrow we're going out there again.
Meg: It's a cold world out there. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting a little frosty myself.
Michael: Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come.
Michael: Eventually he was hospitalized for being such a nerd.
Nick: He went out with a bang, not a whimper.
Sam Weber: Do you think we're all trying trying to avoid dealing with Alex? You know, every time it comes up somebody changes the subject.
Nick: Hey, it's a dead subject.
Nick: Wise up, folks. We're all alone out there and tomorrow we're going out there again.
Meg: It's a cold world out there. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting a little frosty myself.
Michael: Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come.
Michael: Eventually he was hospitalized for being such a nerd.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
413
7.6
7.8
Chuck Yeager: Hey, Ridley, ya got any Beeman's?
Jack Ridley: Yeah, I think I got me a stick.
Chuck Yeager: Loan me some, will ya? I'll pay ya back later.
Jack Ridley: Fair enough.
Gordon Cooper: You boys know what makes this bird go up? FUNDING makes this bird go up.
Gus Grissom: He's right. No bucks, no Buck Rogers.
Chuck Yeager: I'm a fearless man, but I'm scared to death of you.
Glennis Yeager: Oh no you're not. But you oughta be.
Jack Ridley: Yeah, I think I got me a stick.
Chuck Yeager: Loan me some, will ya? I'll pay ya back later.
Jack Ridley: Fair enough.
Gordon Cooper: You boys know what makes this bird go up? FUNDING makes this bird go up.
Gus Grissom: He's right. No bucks, no Buck Rogers.
Chuck Yeager: I'm a fearless man, but I'm scared to death of you.
Glennis Yeager: Oh no you're not. But you oughta be.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1930
6.2
6.5
The Expendables (2010)
Gunnar Jensen: What do you wear, size 3? Bring it, happy feet.
Lee Christmas: You know it's not easy being your friend.
Barney Ross: What the hell's he doing?
Lee Christmas: Hanging a pirate.
Barney Ross: Don't be ridiculous. Gunner! What are you doing?
Gunnar Jensen: Hanging a pirate!
Toll Road: That's seriously demented.
Yin Yang: This is no good.
Hale Caesar: Not that you'd feel it, but put one in Speed Racer's shoulder.
Lee Christmas: You know it's not easy being your friend.
Barney Ross: What the hell's he doing?
Lee Christmas: Hanging a pirate.
Barney Ross: Don't be ridiculous. Gunner! What are you doing?
Gunnar Jensen: Hanging a pirate!
Toll Road: That's seriously demented.
Yin Yang: This is no good.
Hale Caesar: Not that you'd feel it, but put one in Speed Racer's shoulder.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1905
7.3
7.7
Man on Fire (2004)
Elderly Man: In the church, they say to forgive.
Creasy: Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting.
Rayburn: A man can be an artist... in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasey's art is death. He's about to paint his masterpiece.
Fuentes: A last wish, please, please. Please.
Creasy: Last wish? I wish you had more time.
Lisa: She likes him
Samuel: Hm?
Lisa: Creasy, Pita likes him.
Samuel: Pita loves school. She'd like Count Dracula if he took her back there.
Creasy: Okay, my friend. It's off to the next life for you. I guarantee you, you won't be lonely.
Fuentes: You know, I-I'm a professional.
Creasy: That's what everybody keeps saying. "I'm just a professional". Everybody keeps saying that to me. "I'm just a professional", "I'm just a professional". I'm getting sick and tired of hearing that.
Creasy: I'm goin' home, too. I'm goin' to Blue Bayou.
Mariana: He's protected better than our president.
Creasy: He's gonna need it.
Creasy: Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting.
Rayburn: A man can be an artist... in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasey's art is death. He's about to paint his masterpiece.
Fuentes: A last wish, please, please. Please.
Creasy: Last wish? I wish you had more time.
Lisa: She likes him
Samuel: Hm?
Lisa: Creasy, Pita likes him.
Samuel: Pita loves school. She'd like Count Dracula if he took her back there.
Creasy: Okay, my friend. It's off to the next life for you. I guarantee you, you won't be lonely.
Fuentes: You know, I-I'm a professional.
Creasy: That's what everybody keeps saying. "I'm just a professional". Everybody keeps saying that to me. "I'm just a professional", "I'm just a professional". I'm getting sick and tired of hearing that.
Creasy: I'm goin' home, too. I'm goin' to Blue Bayou.
Mariana: He's protected better than our president.
Creasy: He's gonna need it.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
4514
6.7
7.2
I Am Legend (2007)
Neville: Eat your vegetables. Don't just push 'em around, eat 'em. I ain't playin'.
Neville: What the hell are you doing out here, Fred? Fred, if you're real, you better tell me right now!
Neville: What the hell are you doing out here, Fred? Fred, if you're real, you better tell me right now!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
70
4.7
4.6
Kickin' It Old Skool (2007)
Jennifer: Try not to hate me.
Justin Schumacher: I hate you more than Garfield hates Mondays.
Jennifer: I thought Garfield hated lasagna.
Justin Schumacher: Garfield loves lasagna!
Darnell Jackson: They're shooting a TV show, I heard of this. It's like American Idol for dancing.
Justin Schumacher: America what?
Darnell Jackson: Star Search, it's like Star Search for dancing.
Darnell Jackson: Uh, what percentage in chance does my friend, Aki, have of sleeping with you?
Yun: Zero percent.
Darnell Jackson: One more question, please. What if he's a professional break-dancer?
Yun: Two percent.
Aki: Mathematically that's an infinity percent increase.
Justin Schumacher: Yeah! That's my Aki! Homeboy's forever?
Aki: Homeboy's forever.
Darnell Jackson: Homeboy's forever.
Hector: Homeboy's forever.
Darnell Jackson, Aki, Justin Schumacher, Hector: Funky Fresh Boyz!
Yun: If that what you guys are going to call yourselves, it goes back down to one percent.
Justin Schumacher: I hate you more than Garfield hates Mondays.
Jennifer: I thought Garfield hated lasagna.
Justin Schumacher: Garfield loves lasagna!
Darnell Jackson: They're shooting a TV show, I heard of this. It's like American Idol for dancing.
Justin Schumacher: America what?
Darnell Jackson: Star Search, it's like Star Search for dancing.
Darnell Jackson: Uh, what percentage in chance does my friend, Aki, have of sleeping with you?
Yun: Zero percent.
Darnell Jackson: One more question, please. What if he's a professional break-dancer?
Yun: Two percent.
Aki: Mathematically that's an infinity percent increase.
Justin Schumacher: Yeah! That's my Aki! Homeboy's forever?
Aki: Homeboy's forever.
Darnell Jackson: Homeboy's forever.
Hector: Homeboy's forever.
Darnell Jackson, Aki, Justin Schumacher, Hector: Funky Fresh Boyz!
Yun: If that what you guys are going to call yourselves, it goes back down to one percent.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
738
5.5
5.8
Child's Play 2 (1990)
Chucky: Eat dirt, Tommy!
Chucky: Snap out of it! You act like you've never seen a dead body before!
Chucky: Snap out of it! You act like you've never seen a dead body before!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
61
5.8
5.8
Breakin' (1984)
Turbo: You owe me seven dollars man.
Franco: For what?
Turbo: For teaching you how to dance sucker.
Franco: For what?
Turbo: For teaching you how to dance sucker.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
960
4.9
5.3
The Karate Kid Part III (1989)
Daniel Larusso: You know, this is the 80s, Mr. Miyagi. You can't be so damn passive!
Daniel Larusso: I know you don't believe in fighting, but tournament karate isn't exactly fighting.
Mr. Kesuke Miyagi: Not exactly ping-pong, either.
Mr. Kesuke Miyagi: If karate used defend honor, defend life, karate mean something. If karate used defend plastic metal trophy, karate no mean nothing.
Daniel Larusso: I know you don't believe in fighting, but tournament karate isn't exactly fighting.
Mr. Kesuke Miyagi: Not exactly ping-pong, either.
Mr. Kesuke Miyagi: If karate used defend honor, defend life, karate mean something. If karate used defend plastic metal trophy, karate no mean nothing.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
692
4.2
4.4
The Next Karate Kid (1994)
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: The sun is warm, the grass is green.
Julie Pierce: What?
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: If today Julie-san get angry, just you repeat those words.
Julie Pierce: I wish I had courage like you.
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: I wish I had chocolate bar with almonds.
Julie Pierce: What's going on?
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: Nothing. Just monks having good time.
Julie Pierce: I thought they were supposed to be spiritual.
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
Julie Pierce: What?
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: If today Julie-san get angry, just you repeat those words.
Julie Pierce: I wish I had courage like you.
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: I wish I had chocolate bar with almonds.
Julie Pierce: What's going on?
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: Nothing. Just monks having good time.
Julie Pierce: I thought they were supposed to be spiritual.
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1350
7.7
8.1
Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982)
Pink: I'm waiting in this cell because I have to know... have I been guilty all this time?
Teacher: If ya don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding! How can ya have any pudding if ya don't eat ya meat?
Teacher: We have ourselves, a Poet!
Teacher: Money get back, I'm all right Jack, keep hands off my stack. New car caviar, four star daydream. Buy me a football team.
Teacher: Absolute rubbish! get on with your work.
Teacher: If ya don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding! How can ya have any pudding if ya don't eat ya meat?
Teacher: We have ourselves, a Poet!
Teacher: Money get back, I'm all right Jack, keep hands off my stack. New car caviar, four star daydream. Buy me a football team.
Teacher: Absolute rubbish! get on with your work.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
3875
7.6
7.9
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Ed: Any zombies out there?
Shaun: Don't say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That!
Ed: What?
Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!
Ed: All right... are there any out there, though?
Shaun: I can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that.
Shaun: Oh, no, there they are.
Ed: 'Purple Rain'?
Shaun: No.
Ed: 'Sign o' the Times'?
Shaun: Definitely not.
Ed: The 'Batman' soundtrack?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: 'Dire Straits'?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: Ooh, 'Stone Roses'.
Shaun: Um, No.
Ed: 'Second Coming'.
Shaun: I like it!
Ed: Ahhh! 'Sade'.
Shaun: Yeah, but that's Liz's!
Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you.
Shaun: Oh!
Dianne: Just look at the face: it's vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.
Shaun: As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he's talking about.
Shaun: Don't say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That!
Ed: What?
Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!
Ed: All right... are there any out there, though?
Shaun: I can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that.
Shaun: Oh, no, there they are.
Ed: 'Purple Rain'?
Shaun: No.
Ed: 'Sign o' the Times'?
Shaun: Definitely not.
Ed: The 'Batman' soundtrack?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: 'Dire Straits'?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: Ooh, 'Stone Roses'.
Shaun: Um, No.
Ed: 'Second Coming'.
Shaun: I like it!
Ed: Ahhh! 'Sade'.
Shaun: Yeah, but that's Liz's!
Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you.
Shaun: Oh!
Dianne: Just look at the face: it's vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.
Shaun: As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he's talking about.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
1375
6.4
7.1
Old School (2003)
Frank: You know I was thinking we could go back home... have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD... no? Weren't thinking that? Ok.
Beanie: Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on next. Mitch, I own six speaker cities. I am worth three a half million dollars that the government knows about. I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert. you think I'm gonna roll out this type of red carpet for a fucking marching band? Just make sure you can see the stage.
Beanie: I'd like to welcome you all to the Mitch Martin Freedom Festival. Now for those of you who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful, very disease free gentleman standing by the mini bar. Now, courtesy of Speaker City, which is slashing prices on everything from beepers to DVD players, give a warm welcome Harrison welcome to my pal and your favorite, Snoop Dogg.
Frank: We're going streaking!
Beanie: Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on next. Mitch, I own six speaker cities. I am worth three a half million dollars that the government knows about. I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert. you think I'm gonna roll out this type of red carpet for a fucking marching band? Just make sure you can see the stage.
Beanie: I'd like to welcome you all to the Mitch Martin Freedom Festival. Now for those of you who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful, very disease free gentleman standing by the mini bar. Now, courtesy of Speaker City, which is slashing prices on everything from beepers to DVD players, give a warm welcome Harrison welcome to my pal and your favorite, Snoop Dogg.
Frank: We're going streaking!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
3660
7.3
7.6
28 Days Later (2002)
Jim: No, no. No, see, this is a really shit idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea.
Jim: And then I wake up today in hospital. I wake up, and I'm... I'm hallucinating or I'm...
Mark: What's your name?
Jim: Jim.
Mark: I'm Mark. This is Selena. OK, Jim. I've got some bad news.
Selena: He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets.
Mark: A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "Oi. You can't leave that lyin' there." And the man says, "No. It's not a lion. It's a giraffe."
Mark: Completely humorless.
Jim: And then I wake up today in hospital. I wake up, and I'm... I'm hallucinating or I'm...
Mark: What's your name?
Jim: Jim.
Mark: I'm Mark. This is Selena. OK, Jim. I've got some bad news.
Selena: He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets.
Mark: A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "Oi. You can't leave that lyin' there." And the man says, "No. It's not a lion. It's a giraffe."
Mark: Completely humorless.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
220
6.2
6.5
Morris: Okay. What's the password?
Jerome: You got it.
Morris: Got what?
Jerome: The password.
Morris: The password is what?
Jerome: Exactly.
Morris: The password is exactly?
Jerome: No, it's okay.
Morris: The password is okay?
Jerome: Far as I'm concerned.
Morris: Damn it, say the password!
Jerome: What.
Morris: Say the password, onion head!
Jerome: The password is what?
Morris: That's what I'm asking you!
Jerome: It's the password!
Morris: The password is it?
Jerome: Ahhhhh! The password is what!
Morris: It! You just said so!
Jerome: The password isn't it! The password is?
Morris: What?
Jerome: Got it!
Morris: I got it?
Jerome: Right.
Morris: It or right?
Billy: Nobody digs your music but yourself!
Matt Fink-The Revolution: God got Wendy's periods reversed. About every 28 days she starts acting nice. Lasts about a weekend.
Jerome: You got it.
Morris: Got what?
Jerome: The password.
Morris: The password is what?
Jerome: Exactly.
Morris: The password is exactly?
Jerome: No, it's okay.
Morris: The password is okay?
Jerome: Far as I'm concerned.
Morris: Damn it, say the password!
Jerome: What.
Morris: Say the password, onion head!
Jerome: The password is what?
Morris: That's what I'm asking you!
Jerome: It's the password!
Morris: The password is it?
Jerome: Ahhhhh! The password is what!
Morris: It! You just said so!
Jerome: The password isn't it! The password is?
Morris: What?
Jerome: Got it!
Morris: I got it?
Jerome: Right.
Morris: It or right?
Billy: Nobody digs your music but yourself!
Matt Fink-The Revolution: God got Wendy's periods reversed. About every 28 days she starts acting nice. Lasts about a weekend.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
4431
6.8
7.1
The Penguin: Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff.
Batman: You're not the mayor.
The Penguin: Things change.
Selina Kyle: Wow, the Batman - or is it just "Batman"? Uh, your choice, of course!
Selina Kyle: Well, that was very brief. Just like all the men in my life.
The Penguin: I believe the word you're looking for is "Aaahh"!
Alfred: Let's not forget about repairing the Batmobile. There's certain security to consider. It's not as though we can take it to any old "Joe's bodyshop," is it, sir?
Bruce Wayne: Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I'm sitting there working and I turn around, there she is. "Oh hi, Vick - come on in."
Batman: You're not the mayor.
The Penguin: Things change.
Selina Kyle: Wow, the Batman - or is it just "Batman"? Uh, your choice, of course!
Selina Kyle: Well, that was very brief. Just like all the men in my life.
The Penguin: I believe the word you're looking for is "Aaahh"!
Alfred: Let's not forget about repairing the Batmobile. There's certain security to consider. It's not as though we can take it to any old "Joe's bodyshop," is it, sir?
Bruce Wayne: Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I'm sitting there working and I turn around, there she is. "Oh hi, Vick - come on in."
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
859
7.1
7.1
The Muppets (2011)
Fozzie Bear: Wow, that was such an expensive looking explosion! I can't believe we had that in the budget.
Walter: Am I a Muppet, or am I a man? If I'm a man, I'm a Muppet of a man.
Neil Patrick Harris: How come I'm not hosting this?
Veronica: I'm gonna shoot straight: you guys aren't famous anymore.
Fozzie Bear: Yeesh. I wish she'd shot a little more curvy.
Fat Kid from Modern Family: Are you one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
Kermit The Frog: Y-Yes I am!
Statler: I always dreamed we'd be back here.
Waldorf: Dreams? Those were nightmares!
Tex Richman: Maniacal laugh... maniacal laugh...
Animal: No drums! No drums! Jack Black said no drums!
Lew: We all agreed, celebrities aren't people.
Kermit the Frog: Guys, we can't kidnap Jack Black. That's illegal!
Fozzie Bear: What's more illegal, Kermit: Kidnapping Jack Black, or destroying the Muppet name for good?
Kermit the Frog: Kidnapping Jack Black!
Jack Black: You ruined one of the best songs of all time!
Fozzie Moopet: Yo, what the waka, man?
TV Executive: No.
TV Executive: No.
TV Executive: Lo siento, pero no.
Kermit the Frog: Oh, you hear that, guys?
TV Executive: That means no.
Kermit the Frog: Oh.
Jack Black: Animal, what are you doing here?
Animal: ...Acting... Naturaaaal.
Walter: Am I a Muppet, or am I a man? If I'm a man, I'm a Muppet of a man.
Neil Patrick Harris: How come I'm not hosting this?
Veronica: I'm gonna shoot straight: you guys aren't famous anymore.
Fozzie Bear: Yeesh. I wish she'd shot a little more curvy.
Fat Kid from Modern Family: Are you one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
Kermit The Frog: Y-Yes I am!
Statler: I always dreamed we'd be back here.
Waldorf: Dreams? Those were nightmares!
Tex Richman: Maniacal laugh... maniacal laugh...
Animal: No drums! No drums! Jack Black said no drums!
Lew: We all agreed, celebrities aren't people.
Kermit the Frog: Guys, we can't kidnap Jack Black. That's illegal!
Fozzie Bear: What's more illegal, Kermit: Kidnapping Jack Black, or destroying the Muppet name for good?
Kermit the Frog: Kidnapping Jack Black!
Jack Black: You ruined one of the best songs of all time!
Fozzie Moopet: Yo, what the waka, man?
TV Executive: No.
TV Executive: No.
TV Executive: Lo siento, pero no.
Kermit the Frog: Oh, you hear that, guys?
TV Executive: That means no.
Kermit the Frog: Oh.
Jack Black: Animal, what are you doing here?
Animal: ...Acting... Naturaaaal.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
3588
4.3
3.8
Batman & Robin (1997)
Batman: And you are...?
Batgirl: Batgirl.
Batman: That's not very PC. What about Batwoman, or Batperson?
Batgirl: Bruce, it's me, Barbara. I found the Batcave.
Robin: We gotta get those locks changed.
Batman: She knows who we are.
Robin: I guess we'll just have to kill her.
Batman: Yep, we'll kill her later, we've got work to do.
Ivy: There's just something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips.
Batman: Why is it that all the beautiful ones are homicidal maniacs? Is it me?
Robin: I want a car, chicks dig the car.
Batman: This is why Superman works alone.
Robin: Where's the snowman?
Batgirl: Maybe he melted.
Batman: No, he's just hibernating.
Mr. Freeze: What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!
Mr. Freeze: In this universe, there's only one absolute... everything freezes!
Robin: It's the hockey team from hell!
Batman: Who invited you?
Robin: I was just hanging around.
Batman: I thought you were gonna stay in the museum. Round up some thugs.
Robin: How 'bout, "Nice to see ya? Glad you're here to save my life?"
Mr. Freeze: Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom.
Batgirl: Batgirl.
Batman: That's not very PC. What about Batwoman, or Batperson?
Batgirl: Bruce, it's me, Barbara. I found the Batcave.
Robin: We gotta get those locks changed.
Batman: She knows who we are.
Robin: I guess we'll just have to kill her.
Batman: Yep, we'll kill her later, we've got work to do.
Ivy: There's just something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips.
Batman: Why is it that all the beautiful ones are homicidal maniacs? Is it me?
Robin: I want a car, chicks dig the car.
Batman: This is why Superman works alone.
Robin: Where's the snowman?
Batgirl: Maybe he melted.
Batman: No, he's just hibernating.
Mr. Freeze: What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!
Mr. Freeze: In this universe, there's only one absolute... everything freezes!
Robin: It's the hockey team from hell!
Batman: Who invited you?
Robin: I was just hanging around.
Batman: I thought you were gonna stay in the museum. Round up some thugs.
Robin: How 'bout, "Nice to see ya? Glad you're here to save my life?"
Mr. Freeze: Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
748
4.9
5
Superman III (1983)
Gus Gorman: I don't want to go to jail because there are robbers and rapers and rapers who rape robbers.
Ross Webster: I've got to get rid of him.
Vera Webster: How? Shoot him? You know about him and bullets.
Ross Webster: I've got to get rid of him.
Vera Webster: How? Shoot him? You know about him and bullets.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
458
6.5
6.9
Adventures in Babysitting (1987)
Brad: Sir. Would you please take us to the next corner, and drop us off?
Joe Gipp: In this neighborhood? Hey, I wouldn't even get out of the car in this neighborhood.
Brad: Could you drop us off at the nearest mall?
Joe Gipp: A mall? Where y'all think we're at, Boise, Idaho? Shooo!
Albert Collins: Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.
Gang Leader: Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell.
Chris: Don't fuck with the babysitter.
Dr. Nuhkbane: There you are, one stitch, all better.
Brad: One stitch?
Dr. Nuhkbane: Oh, yes, one stitch.
Brad: My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch? Chris is gonna think I'm a total failure!
Chris: What do you want?
John Pruitt: I just want to help you.
Daryl: Don't listen to him, he just wants to scrape our faces off.
Joe Gipp: In this neighborhood? Hey, I wouldn't even get out of the car in this neighborhood.
Brad: Could you drop us off at the nearest mall?
Joe Gipp: A mall? Where y'all think we're at, Boise, Idaho? Shooo!
Albert Collins: Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.
Gang Leader: Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell.
Chris: Don't fuck with the babysitter.
Dr. Nuhkbane: There you are, one stitch, all better.
Brad: One stitch?
Dr. Nuhkbane: Oh, yes, one stitch.
Brad: My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch? Chris is gonna think I'm a total failure!
Chris: What do you want?
John Pruitt: I just want to help you.
Daryl: Don't listen to him, he just wants to scrape our faces off.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
227
6.9
6.8
John Watson: Well, I knew it. This is the end of my medical career. My father's going to be furious. I always knew that making friends with you would end up in disaster.
John Watson: I can't afford to jeopardise my medical career!
Sherlock Holmes: Weasel.
John Watson: I'm not a weasel. I am... practical.
Sherlock Holmes: Weasels are practical. And I imagined you courageous and stout of heart.
John Watson: I am courageous. And I'm stout of heart. It's just that... oh, all right. I'll do it.
John Watson: Yes, Mister French Pastry. I have nothing whatsoever to say to you. I trust you have nothing to say to me.
John Watson: What have I gotten myself into?
Sherlock Holmes: The adventure of a lifetime, Watson.
Sherlock Holmes: A great detective relies on perception, intelligence, and imagination.
Lestrade: Where'd you get that rubbish from?
Sherlock Holmes: It's framed on the wall behind you.
John Watson: I can't afford to jeopardise my medical career!
Sherlock Holmes: Weasel.
John Watson: I'm not a weasel. I am... practical.
Sherlock Holmes: Weasels are practical. And I imagined you courageous and stout of heart.
John Watson: I am courageous. And I'm stout of heart. It's just that... oh, all right. I'll do it.
John Watson: Yes, Mister French Pastry. I have nothing whatsoever to say to you. I trust you have nothing to say to me.
John Watson: What have I gotten myself into?
Sherlock Holmes: The adventure of a lifetime, Watson.
Sherlock Holmes: A great detective relies on perception, intelligence, and imagination.
Lestrade: Where'd you get that rubbish from?
Sherlock Holmes: It's framed on the wall behind you.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
4152
7.3
7.6
Sherlock Holmes (2009)
Inspector Lestrade: In another life, Mr. Holmes, you would have made a excellent criminal.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, and you an excellent policeman.
Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?
Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?
Sherlock Holmes: My mind rebels at stagnation! Give me problems! Give me work!
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, and you an excellent policeman.
Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?
Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?
Sherlock Holmes: My mind rebels at stagnation! Give me problems! Give me work!
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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