Films I Don't Care to Watch

Alright- I read the first book. Stephanie Meyer is a BAD writer. She goes on and on for, oh, 500 pages about Edward, a vampire we don't like, and his piercing eyes and alabaster skin. Edward Cullen is not dreamy. He is a creep.

Things get interesting for about 50 pages. Then, conflict, gone. The film can't be much better. My favorite vampires are Eli from the sublime "Let the Right One In" and the unfortunate Eddie Gauthier (Stephen Root) from the first season of "True Blood." They are creepy (they're vampires,) but at least they are not annoying.

Go watch "Let the Right One In," or even "True Blood," and do not get involved with the hack franchise that is "Twilight."

Reason- Animal Cruelty-

I don't know how anyone could watch this with a clear conscience. I would still hang around someone who watched "Cannibal Holocaust," but I couldn't identify with their willingness to spend cash on it despite unstaged killing of animals, including a monkey.

Plus, I try not to watch too much that is tagged with exploitation. I like f-ed up movies, check out my disturbing tag to find ones where cute critters didn't bite the dust.

When I'll watch it- NEVER

Reason- Animal Cruelty

That poor cow. Being chopped in front of a camera sounds like a particularly painful death too.

Reason- OD's on sexual violence

My friend Paul owns it, but it's my personal preference that I try not to have too many more depraved nightmares. I might watch it when I can handle it, just not at this stage of my life.

Reason- Animal Cruelty

Frogs and turtles being sliced up.

"Transformers- Revenge of the Fallen" is an abomination. 2 1/2 hours of dogs humping, robots humping, and Megan Fox's ass. Inane dialogue, manic overacting from Julie White (what's with the pot-laced brownies?)

So even though they replaced Megan Fox, well, I think the whole travesty is Michael Bay's fault. This is a sad end to the franchise, and I will trudge no further.

Reason- Genital Mutilation (Unstaged)

Ooh! Let's watch a terminally ill guy cut up on his johnson! What a way to celebrate his life! As for his dominatrix partner, we accept it, but do we really want to see it? I think documentaries are too personal for me.