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Added by Agent Kermit D. Fonz on 19 Jul 2011 08:33
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People who added this item 1509 Average listal rating (927 ratings) 7.6 IMDB Rating 7.7
Dirty Harry (1971)
Harry Callahan: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
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People who added this item 7595 Average listal rating (4982 ratings) 7.6 IMDB Rating 8.3
Mr. Potato Head: Oh, really? I'm from Playskool.
Rex: And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not really from Mattel, I'm actually from a smaller company that was purchased by Mattel in a leveraged buyout.

Buzz: I've set my laser from stun to kill.
Woody: Oh, great. If anyone attacks we can blink em' to death.

Buzz: I don't believe that man's ever been to medical school!

Buzz: You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
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People who added this item 193 Average listal rating (129 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 6.2
Kassandra: Check this! Some guy from the seventeenth century telling me how to drive. They learn fast, don't they?

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People who added this item 12 Average listal rating (7 ratings) 6.3 IMDB Rating 0
Jason Slade: Only death, can retire Jason Slade!

Jason Slade: Do you know a nuclear trigger from a Bulgarian dildo? Because I don't.
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Gabriel: Study your math, kids. Key to the Universe.
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People who added this item 1532 Average listal rating (1031 ratings) 5.2 IMDB Rating 5.8
Mortal Kombat (1995)
Johnny Cage: I'm in a hostile environment. I'm totally unprepared. And I'm surrounded by a bunch of guys who probably want to kick my ass... it's like being back in high school.

Johnny Cage: Don't worry, I've got a plan.
Sonya Blade: Oh, I can't believe this! You are the most egotistical, self-deluded person I have ever met!
Johnny Cage: Yeah, well you forgot good looking.

Johnny Cage: Those were $500 sunglasses, asshole.
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People who added this item 44 Average listal rating (25 ratings) 6.2 IMDB Rating 4.1
Undefeatable (1993)
Nick DiMarco: Paul Taylor, goes by the street-name "Stingray." You know him?
Kristi Jones: ... but I heard of him. He's pretty brutal. That's why they call him "The Stingray."
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People who added this item 1227 Average listal rating (768 ratings) 6.5 IMDB Rating 6.8
Max: It's only Powerline, Dad, the biggest rock star on the planet.
Goofy: Not bigger than Xavier Cugat, the mambo king. Everybody mambo!

Goofy: Hey, Maxie. Let's play a game. You think of someone and I'll try to guess who it is. Man or woman?
Max: Aw, man.
Goofy: Man? Hmm... That's a toughy... let's see... Walt Disney!
Max: Right.
Goofy: Boy, I'm good at this! Now I'll think of one.

Pete: Taking a break from the MTV Generation, eh? I can't say I blame you.
Pete: People are always putting too much water in these things.
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People who added this item 4759 Average listal rating (3122 ratings) 7.6 IMDB Rating 8.4
Young William: What are they doin'?
Argyle Wallace: Saying goodbye in their own way. Playing outlawed tunes on outlawed pipes.

William Wallace: Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!
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Van Helsing: Count Dracula. Hmm, curious. Are you descended from Vlad Tapish? The first Dracula?
Dr. Steward: Tapish?
Van Helsing: Ya. It means 'The Impaler.' He was a blood-thirsty butchah. He inflicted unspeakable tortures on the peasants: cutting off their hands and feet, gouging out their eyes and then impaling them on iron spikes!
Dracula: They had it coming.

Jonathan Harker: She's alive?
Van Helsing: She's Nosferatu.
Jonathan Harker: She's Italian?

Jonathan Harker: Oh! This is, this is ghastly!
Van Helsing: Yes, you're right. We should have put newspapers down!

Dr. Steward: Put him in a straitjacket and give him an enema! Wait, give him an enema FIRST, then put him in a straitjacket!
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Johnny Mnemonic: Listen. You listen to me. You see that city over there? THAT'S where I'm supposed to be. Not down here with the dogs, and the garbage, and the fucking last month's newspapers blowing back and forth. I've had it with them, I've had it with you, I've had it with ALL THIS - I want ROOM SERVICE! I want the club sandwich, I want the cold Mexican beer, I want a $10,000-a-night hooker! I want my shirts laundered... like they do... at the Imperial Hotel... in Tokyo.

Johnny Mnemonic: Yeah, the Black Shakes. What causes it?
Spider: What causes it?
Spider: This causes it! This causes it! This causes it! Information overload! All the electronics around you poisoning the airwaves. Technological fucking civilization. But we still have all this shit, because we can't live without it. Let me do my work.
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John Trent: This book is going to drive people absolutely mad!
Jackson Harglow: Well, let's hope so. The movie comes out next month.

John Trent: Every species can smell its own extinction. The last ones left won't have a pretty time with it. In ten years, maybe less, the human race will just be a bedtime story for their children. A myth, nothing more.

John Trent: God's not supposed to be a hack horror writer.

John Trent: Oh, no, not The Carpenters...

Sutter Cane: Did I ever tell you my favorite color was blue? 

Axe Maniac: Do you read Sutter Cane? 
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People who added this item 1082 Average listal rating (662 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 6.2
Curtis: If it isn't Leopard Boy and the Decepticons.

Dade Murphy: Anything else, mom? You want me to mow the lawn? Oops! I forgot, New York, No grass.

Cereal Killer: We have just gotten a wake-up call from the Nintendo Generation.

The Plague: You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool? Well, let me explain the New World Order. Governments and corporations need people like you and me. We are Samurai... the Keyboard Cowboys... and all those other people who have no idea what's going on are the cattle... Moooo.

Dade Murphy: What is it with this guy?
Ramon Sanchez: His parents missed Woodstock, and he's been making up for it since.

Cereal Killer: Spandex: it's a privilege, not a right.

The Plague: Type "cookie", you idiot.
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People who added this item 2502 Average listal rating (1581 ratings) 6.3 IMDB Rating 6.8
Clueless (1995)
Josh: You look like Pippi Longstocking.
Cher: Well you look like Forrest Gump. Who's Pippi Longstocking?
Josh: Someone Mel Gibson never played.

Josh: Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.
Cher: I am. You try driving in platforms.

Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.

Cher: It's like that book I read in the 9th grade that said "'tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people."

Cher: So, this flannel thing. Is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?
Josh: We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree.
Cher: Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees.

Cher: That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.

Mel: What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?

Cher: Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true."
Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.

Travis: I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy.
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People who added this item 1805 Average listal rating (1190 ratings) 6.9 IMDB Rating 7.2
Buscemi: Can I get a cleaner mug? This one's dirty.
Short Bartender: Fuck you man! That's the cleanest one I got!

El Mariachi: You know, it's easier to pull the trigger than play guitar. Easier to destroy than to create.

El Mariachi: I'm looking for a man who calls himself Bucho. That's all. And you had to do it the hard way.
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People who added this item 1383 Average listal rating (890 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 6.4
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Carl: I ate some Triscuit crackers in the car, you should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Carl?

Kid: Mortal Kombat, on Sega Genesis, is the best video game ever.
Billy Madison: I disagree, it's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
Kid: Donkey Kong sucks.
Billy Madison: You know something? YOU SUCK!
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Captain Kirk: Note to Galley; Romulan Ale no longer to be served at diplomatic functions.

Captain James T. Kirk: Bones, are you afraid of the future?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I believe that was the general idea that I was trying to convey.
Captain James T. Kirk: I don't mean this future.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: What is this, multiple choice?

Captain Spock: If I were human I believe my response would be "go to hell."... If I were human.

Commander Pavel Chekov: Course heading, Captain?
Captain James T. Kirk: Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning.

Captain James T. Kirk: People think the future means the end of history, well, we haven't run out of history just yet.
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People who added this item 5926 Average listal rating (3883 ratings) 8.6 IMDB Rating 9.3
Andy Dufresne: You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific?
Red: No.
Andy Dufresne: They say it has no memory. That's where I want to live the rest of my life. A warm place with no memory.
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People who added this item 192 Average listal rating (121 ratings) 6.6 IMDB Rating 6.9
Gus: From now on, the only person who gets to yell is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns - for instance - you - DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation.
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People who added this item 8386 Average listal rating (5345 ratings) 8.3 IMDB Rating 8.9
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Jules: I want you to go in that bag, and find my wallet.
Pumpkin: Which one is it?
Jules: It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker.

Marsellus: In the fifth, your ass goes down. Say it.
Butch: In the fifth, my ass goes down.

Jules: Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.

The Wolf: Now boys, listen up. We're going to a place called Monster Joe's Truck and Tow. I'll drive the tainted car. Jules, you ride with me. Vincent, you follow in my Acura. We run across the path of any John Q. Laws, nobody does a fucking thing unless I do it first. What did I just say?
Jules: Don't do shit unless.
The Wolf: Unless what?
Jules: Unless you do it first.
The Wolf: Spoken like a true prodigy. How about you, Lash LaRue? You think you can keep your spurs from jinglin' and janglin'?
Vincent: Look, Mr. Wolf, my gun went off, I don't know why, and now you're helping us out of the situation. I'm cool with it, all right?
The Wolf: Fair enough. Now I drive real fucking fast, so keep up. I get my car back any differently than when I gave it, Monster Joe's gonna be disposing of two bodies.

Jules: Now Yolanda, we're not gonna do anything stupid, are we?
Yolanda: You don't hurt him.
Jules: Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what's Fonzie like?
Yolanda: Cool?
Jules: What?
Yolanda: He's cool.
Jules: Correctamundo. And that's what we're gonna be. We're gonna be cool. Now Ringo, I'm gonna count to three, and when I count three, you let go of your gun, and sit your ass down. But when you do it, you do it cool. Ready? One... two... three.
Yolanda: All right, now you let him go.
Jules: Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that's when motherfuckers accidentally get shot.
Yolanda: You just know, you touch him, you die.
Jules: Well, that seems to be the situation. But I don't want that. And you don't want that. And Ringo here definitely doesn't want that.

Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee. 

Mia: Don't you hate that? 
Vincent: What? 
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? 
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question. 
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence. 

Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this? 
Butch: It's a chopper, baby. 
Fabienne: Whose chopper is this? 
Butch: It's Zed's. 
Fabienne: Who's Zed? 
Butch: Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.
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People who added this item 75 Average listal rating (46 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 6.3
Freaked (1993)
Ricky Coogan: I wonder if I they're still casting "Gremlins 3"..
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People who added this item 891 Average listal rating (610 ratings) 7.5 IMDB Rating 7.8
Doc Holliday: I'm your huckleberry...

Doc Holliday: Maybe poker's just not your game, Ike. I know: let's have a spelling contest.
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Brantley Foster: All right, listen up. If there are any bugs in here, or rats, or anything that has more legs than I do, you just stay on your side of the room, okay? I'll stay on mine. I should warn you, I'm packing an iron.
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Prince John: And why should the people listen to you?
Robin Hood: Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.
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People who added this item 672 Average listal rating (462 ratings) 6.9 IMDB Rating 7.2
Sam Campagna: Frank, The President sent his limo for you.
Lilly Raines: Well, that's the least he could do.
Frank Horrigan: Good, I love public transportation.
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Rudy: Where the hell am I supposed to find silver bullets? K-Mart?
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People who added this item 747 Average listal rating (484 ratings) 5.6 IMDB Rating 6
Coach Finstock: What is it, gambling? Drugs? You know I'd really like to help you but I'm kind of tapped out this month. The IRS is coming down on me like it's some personal vendetta against Bobby Finstock.
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People who added this item 456 Average listal rating (324 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 6.1
Natasha Binder: What kind of a name is Chance?
Chance Boudreaux: Well... my momma took one...
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People who added this item 7479 Average listal rating (4884 ratings) 7.9 IMDB Rating 8.5
The Lion King (1994)
Pumbaa: Hey, Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?
Timon: Pumbaa, I don't wonder; I know.
Pumbaa: Oh. What are they?
Timon: They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh... got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing.
Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.
Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything's gas.
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People who added this item 756 Average listal rating (472 ratings) 6.2 IMDB Rating 6.4
Henry: Poor Mr. Highway, he's thinking about the end. He's had enough of this terrible life.
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Frank Drebin: Well... We shot a lot of people together. It's been great. But today I retire, so if I do any shooting now, it'll have to be within the confines of my own home. Hopefully, an intruder and not an in-law, like at my bachelor party.
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People who added this item 1085 Average listal rating (696 ratings) 5.8 IMDB Rating 6.1
Wayne: Here we are, at Piccadilly Circus!
Garth: Wow, what a shitty circus.
Wayne: Good call. There's no animals or clowns! What a ripoff!
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People who added this item 5080 Average listal rating (3321 ratings) 7.8 IMDB Rating 8
Police officer: Attacked by Christmas toys? That's strange, that's the second toy complaint we've had.
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Colt: Nice weather? You think we're having... nice weather? I guess you didn't lose the only one that meant anything in your life. I guess you don't feel burned out by the human misery and despair perpetrated by the criminal vermin that infest every pore of this decaying city, forcing you to guzzle cheap wine and cheaper whiskey to dull the pain that shatters your heart, rips at your soul, and keeps your days forever gray. What flavor Icee you got today?
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People who added this item 1029 Average listal rating (735 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 6.6
Topper Harley: Colonel, who are they?
Col. Denton Walters: She's CIA. The other man's an extra.

Michelle Huddleson: Now we have to go in to get the men who went in to get the men who went in to get the men.
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People who added this item 7901 Average listal rating (5099 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 8.1
John Hammond: All major theme parks have had delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: But, John. If the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.
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People who added this item 953 Average listal rating (630 ratings) 6.5 IMDB Rating 7
The Ghost of Christmas Present: Oh, what is this, Frank? Oh, oh look, Frank! It's a toaster!

Frank Cross: No, you are a hallucination brought on by alcohol... Russian vodka poisoned by Chernobyl!
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People who added this item 3533 Average listal rating (2366 ratings) 7.4 IMDB Rating 8
Groundhog Day (1993)
Phil: For your information, Hairdo, there is a major network interested in me.
Larry: Yeah, that would be the Home Shopping Network.
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People who added this item 1623 Average listal rating (1138 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 6.6
Edgar Friendly: You see, according to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think; I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener!"
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People who added this item 1110 Average listal rating (719 ratings) 6.3 IMDB Rating 6.9
Cool Runnings (1993)
Irv: Oh, yeah, just one little drawback to this delightful winter sport. The high-speed crash. Ooh! That hurt. Always remember, your bones will not break in a bobsled. No, no, no. They shatter.
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Ash: Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
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Norville: It's fun, it's healthy, it's good exercise. The kids will just love it. and we put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant.
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People who added this item 1876 Average listal rating (1190 ratings) 6.4 IMDB Rating 6.7
Amanda: Is that your bathing suit?
Wednesday: Is that your overbite?
Gary: Now, one of you will be the drowning victim and the other one gets to be our lifesaver.
Amanda: I'll be the victim!
Wednesday: All your life.
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People who added this item 4049 Average listal rating (2719 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 7.3
Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.
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Carrie: Having a good night?
Charles: Yes. It's right up there with my father's funeral for sheer entertainment value.
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People who added this item 2253 Average listal rating (1421 ratings) 7.4 IMDB Rating 7.7
Clerks (1994)
Cat Admiring Bitter Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?
Randal Graves: Annoying customer.
Cat Admiring Bitter Customer: Fuckin' dickhead!

Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?
Dante Hicks: "Empire".
Randal Graves: Blasphemy.
Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.
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Ace Ventura: If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.

Lois Einhorn: Alright, Ventura. Make it quick.
Ace Ventura: I found a rare stone at the bottom of Snowflake's tank. It belonged to a 1984 AFC Championship ring. It would have been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray Finkle missed the big kick. Blames the whole thing on Marino. We're talking mental institute escapee. I saw the guy's room. Cozy if you're Hannibal Lecter!
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Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is
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People who added this item 2029 Average listal rating (1293 ratings) 8 IMDB Rating 8.2
Unforgiven (1992)
Will Munny: Funny thing, killin' a man. You take away everything he's got and everything he's gonna have.
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People who added this item 404 Average listal rating (273 ratings) 6.8 IMDB Rating 7.1
Sneakers (1992)
Cosmo: There I was in prison. And one day I help a couple of older gentlemen make some free telephone calls. They turn out to be, let us say, good family men.
Martin Bishop: Organized crime?
Cosmo: Hah. Don't kid yourself. It's not that organized.
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26 votes 1 comment
Classic Kermodian Quotes
11 item list by Michael M
7 votes 2 comments
You May Quote Me
38 item list by drugs
77 votes 10 comments
Favorite Woody Allen Film Quotes
8 item list by Nocturne
26 votes 2 comments
Lincoln and later friends - Quotes
9 item list by siesmicforce
9 votes 1 comment
Favorite Filmmakers
55 item list by Mr. Saturn
11 votes 3 comments

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