Inaction Films

Where do I start. This had it all! I saw this on a date and within the first 5 minutes had the entire movie figured out including who would die and when. LL Cool J loves his parrot, is the token black guy, and the comic relief... OBVIOUSLY something will happen to his bird and he'll get mad and save the day. All the scientists with underdeveloped character will die once they've done that "one thing" they're needed for. It was a waste of time and money.

Ultimate low points: Granny, who was a cantankerous old bag and refused to leave her home as the lava closed in, waded through the acid lake to push her family to safety. This melted her legs off and she died right after. Don't worry, silly audience... to ease your pain we have an uplifting scene! The family dog "Scruffy" is barking on a rock, surrounded by a river of lava. The family calls out to him to jump into the back of the truck and he does. He's saved and they barely escape death... again... and not for the last time. Gratuitous animal saving gets my eyes rolling.

see Dante's Peak

Ultimate low points: The President's speech about OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY. "Is Mommy sleeping now?"... "yeah, Mommy's sleeping now". Will Smith landing a helicopter, girlfriend running over "you're late" "you know how I like to make an entrance"... really? And let's not forget another gratuitous pet saving when Boomer the lovable labrador barely makes it out of a wave of fire. That dog didn't even need to be in the movie. He did nothing.

look at the cover "hope survives" ::sigh::

They ripped off Jaws and made a mechanical gator mouth instead.

gee I wonder what will happen!

Joe six pack riff-raff save the world from utter destruction. And Bruce Willis sacrifices himself after a marvelous love speech to his daughter.

I triple dog dare you to find one line of dialogue in this movie that isn't one-liners and catchphrases. The action was unexplained, over the top, and very very sloooooow. It got monotonous... oh here come more huge monsters that Milla will miraculously defeat in Matrix-like slow-mo.

I didn't know a small crappy fireplace could withstand the ice age.