Waste of time and brain cells

I was prompted to watch this when my boyfriend (who will now forever be banned from choosing movies) picked it out of the thousands on Netflix.

ZMD is exactly like Bush's search for WMD. You watch for the entire movie expecting something to happen, and in the end, nothing happens. The zombies stay hidden in the background as a practically non-existant justification for a lot of corny violence.

If this film had been an intentional satire, I would have enjoyed it more, but I'm pretty sure that the creators were too high to actually know what "satire" means.

Didn't make it all the way through this one.

I am aware that this is intended to be a comedy and a parody of all of the dubbed marshal arts movies, but there is a point where a parody simply becomes a brain cell killer. This film achieved that about two minutes in.

I know. Let's laugh at a whole bunch of cultures that we know nothing about, and walk around the nation embarrassing the Hell out of ourselves. Some idiots will call that funny.

The saddest part of this film was that, though Sasha Baron Cohen is as British as they come, the backlash falls on America anyway. If there is anyone I would tell to go back to England and hide in a hole, it's this jerk.

This film is what happens when you mix humor made for five year olds with soft core porn. The fact that the producers actually found an audience for this movie makes me lose faith in American intelligence.

I have never been an enormous fan of Adam Sandler, but I have always been able to find some redeeming qualities...or at least one laughable scene in every one of his movies...until now! I give Zohan and his oversized member one star. If I could go lower, I probably would.

David Spade, and the morbidly obese dead guy whose name isn't even worth remembering do their typical song and dance. Tables are broken. The fat guy probably dances in a little coat. There's probably a happy ending where fatty ends up kissing something in the most disgusting manner possible, and then he makes another cookie cutter movie. The end.

Another movie that shows us how overacting and awkward moments overpower any semblance of plot. I'm still voting for both Ben Stiller and Will Farrell (or however you spell the moron's name) to be obliterated in a firey explosion that maybe takes out half the crew of SNL as well.

Shame on you, Timothy Olyphant. Was this a paycheck movie for you?

Alien outcast meets misunderstood, beret wearing manic pixie dream girl. Reveals to her in the first three minutes, the secret he's managed to keep for ten or so years. Big bad cliche bullies try to beat him up, but he defeats them all with his magic flashlight hands, and they all live happily ever after....because they seem to have forgotten that every side character is dead.

Actually, this one is quite amusing if you play a little game with it:

Try to pick out as many other blockbuster movies that this film has copied. Right of the bat, and after not having seen it for about three months, I can find:

Main Enemy rips off Agent Smith in the most painful of ways. (Matrix)

Main character pulls an exact replay of the Trinity falling scene (Matrix)

Giant troll rips up a bathroom trying to kill main character (Harry Potter)

Yeah, I'll have to watch it again and make my own little list for this one!

Ah, yes. I speak blasphemy for every mindless pothead out there.

The dude does not abide in my book. The dude is a lazy wart on the face of humanity who has aided in the creation of a generation of lazy-ass moronic sketchers. Get off your ass. Put out the joint. Turn off the damned movie, and do something!

Good God...I made the mistake of letting the boyfriend pick another movie.

Based on an internet relationship started on facebook (which in itself was boring, awkward, and is always pathetic), a sad, lonely man begins to find out that the things about his little girlfriend and her family aren't true.

Here's where the trailer says you won't believe what happens in the last 40 minutes of the film. That would be because you're going to sleep through it. The whole film is about one pathetic housewife playing 16 facebook personalities. There. I saved you 2 frickin hours.