Total Film's 80 Greatest 1980s' Movie Moments

The Moment: Chased by the Feds, Elliott deploys the magical alien being in his basket to send his bike flying into the air and, in one still-startling moment, directly in front of the moon.

Only In The '80s: ...could a single image encapsulate all that was wondrous about the decade’s blockbusters. Basically: if it didn’t have Amblin’s seal of approval, it ain’t worth squat.

If It Was Made Today: The cops would probably have walkie-talkies instead of guns... Oh.

The Moment: “No, I am your father.” The big shock for anybody who hadn’t figured out that Darth Vader’s name pretty much spells out ‘Dark Father.’

Only In The '80s: ...did George Lucas have the sense to hand over the writing and directing reins to other people.

If It Was Made Today: Three words... The last is Binks.

The Moment: Jack Nicholson smashes through a door with an axe and announces, “Heeeere’s Johnny!” even though his name is Jack. Crazy, huh

Only In The '80s: ...would people have a chance of getting that Nicholson’s ad-lib was a reference to chat show host Johnny Carson.

If It Was Made Today: “Here’s Piers!” doesn’t have quite the same ring although (for different reasons) it’s just as terrifying.

The Moment: An assassin with sharp moves and a fearsome blade stands in Indy’s path. He hasn’t got the time for a fight…so he simply shoots him.

Only In The '80s: ...could the star catch dysentry, bugger up a big action set-piece and still get the biggest laugh in the film.

If It Was Made Today: Five-minute swordfight with bad CGI.

The Moment: Ripley goes womano a womano with the Alien Queen, thanks to an exosuit cargo-loader... “Get away from her, you bitch!”

Only In The '80s: ...could a woman take on the action-movie behemoths and grab an Oscar nomination.

If It Was Made Today: Ripley would be half-alien.

The Moment: George McFly finally mans up and throws the most important punch of not only his life, but his unborn son Marty’s, too.

Only In The '80s: ...was high-concept this emotionally grounded. One punch = a zillion character beats.

If It Was Made Today:George McFly would be played by Jesse Eisenberg and Biff Tannen by Jonah Hill.

The Moment: So many to choose from, but few have become standards in real-life the way as Leslie Nielsen’s reply to the question, “Surely, you can’t be serious?”

Only In The '80s: ...did so many people get called Shirley.

If It Was Made Today: Stryker’s feed line would be “What you yapping ‘bout, mother-fucker?” and the Doc’s reply: “This is some serious shit, and don’t be calling me no’ mo-fo, fool.”

The Moment: It’s that time of the month for Yank tourist David Naughton.

Only In The '80s: ...did they create make-up effects so good they had to invent a new category at the Oscars.

If It Was Made Today: Judging by The Wolfman, they’d still hire Rick Baker for the prosthetics… and then use CGI to do the actual transformation.

The Moment: Dying Rutger Hauer bemoans the loss of some pretty cool-sounding memories. “C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate?” That we’d like to see.

Only In The '80s: ...would a replicant have more soul than a human. After that, the hero isn't human, either.

If It Was Made Today: What do you mean, “if?” Ridley revisits this one every decade.

The Moment: Meg Ryan proves to Billy Crystal that orgasms can be faked. We’ll have what she’s having.

Only In The '80s: ...did Rob Reiner make films this good.

If It Was Made Today: It wouldn’t be faked, putting the 'O' in OMG.

The Moment: Kevin Costner’s attempts to capture Al Capone’s accountant are interrupted by a pram careering down a flight of stairs.

Only In The '80s: ...could a mainstream movie ‘homage’ / rip-off Battleship Potemkin with a straight face.

If It Was Made Today: They’d be more likely to base the scene on Battleships, the board game.

The Moment: ‘Big’ kid Tom Hanks shares the FAO Schwartz foot keyboard with Robert Loggia. The tune? Chopsticks, of course.

Only In The '80s: ...would they get away with overt product placement without anybody moaning.

If It Was Made Today: They’d play Rebecca Black’s Friday.

The Moment: "I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft."

Only In The '80s: ...could a movie invent a brand from scratch and convince a generation that Stay-Puft Marshmallows were real.

If It Was Made Today: They’d use Tony The Tiger, but it wouldn't be gr-gr-gr-great at all.

The Moment: Pacino's Tony Montana makes his last stand, going down in a blaze of glory with his “leedle friend.”

Only In The '80s: ...would the screen erupt into such a blizzard of blow ‘n’ blood.

If It Was Made Today: Tony Montana would be played by Fiddy Cent.

The Moment: Home alone Tom Cruise strips to his undies and rocks out. We’ve all done it, right?

Only In The '80s: ...would Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock and Roll be seen as a cool tune.

If It Was Made Today: The Cruiser would be Zac Efron, and he’d sing the song himself.

The Moment: Left for dead in enemy territory, Willem Dafoe throws his best Christ-on-the-cross pose as he gets strafed by the gooks.

Only In The '80s: ...would this lead to the actor involved actually getting cast as Jesus.

If It Was Made Today: You’d see every last piece of flesh being shredded by the bullet.

The Moment: Cornered atop the Nakatomi Plaza by German terrorists/thieves, Brucey's John McClane has little option but to dive off the roof with nothing but a fire hose.

Only In The '80s: ...could an action movie pretend its hero was an Everyman and have him pull a stunt like this.

If It Was Made Today: Something daft like McClane surfing on the wing of an aeroplane.

The Moment: The Gremlins sing-a-long to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, before being burnt to death in a fire.

Only In The '80s: ...could this be marketed as a kids’ film.

If It Was Made Today: The 2011 Gremlins would be watching Gremlins (1984) – how meta.

The Moment: Matthew Broderick does what any self-respecting truant would do on his day off, and gatecrashes a parade with a rendition of The Beatles’ ‘Twist and Shout.’

Only In The '80s: ...would anybody get away with that waistcoat.

If It Was Made Today: Hollywood inflation being what it is, we’d be looking at Ferris Bueller’s Week Off.

The Moment: A hapless Noo Yawk mugger gets a lesson in relativity. “That’s not a knife. This is a knife.”

Only In The '80s: Would Paul Hogan be considered a box-office star. See (or better still don’t) 2001’s Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles for proof.

If It Was Made Today: Mick Dundee wouldn’t get past customs.

The Moment: The centrepiece of the Tap’s new show, a model of Stonehenge, is lowered on to the stage. Trouble is, somebody got their measurements wrong, and the stones are 18 inches tall, not 18 feet.

Only In The '80s: ...would a band get away with poodle perms like that.

If It Was Made Today: Too late - real-life rockers Anvil have trumped any spoof.

The Moment: Jennifer Beals dances her way out of her day job as a welder to What A Feeling.

Only In The '80s: ...were leotards fashionable.

If It Was Made Today: What are you talking about? Everybody’s remade this! Geri Haliwell, J. Lo, Robert Webb...

The Moment: John Cusack stands on his car roof, boom box held aloft, to woo Ione Skye.

Only In The '80s:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boombox

If It Was Made Today: He’d struggle, to be honest. An iPod just doesn’t have enough bass.

The Moment: Kevin Costner hears an imaginary voice and uses it to justifying turning valuable farmland into a baseball pitch.

Only In The '80s: ...could the movies provide politicians with such a vague, catch-all assurance of their promises.

If It Was Made Today: It’d be a full blown baseball stadium with a Starbucks franchise.

The Moment: “I’ll be back,” promises Arnie – and proves it by driving through a police station wall and massacring the officers.

Only In The '80s: ...could the most seemingly banal line become an enduring catchphrase.

If It Was Made Today: There would be some appallingly weak, nonsensical pun embedded into the dialogue.

The Moment: A class full of kids show solidarity with disgraced teacher Robin Williams by standing on their desks – “O Captain, My Captain!”

Only In The '80s: ...could a teacher teach his kids poetry without being accused of being a paedophile.

If It Was Made Today: The pupils would be wizards, and they’d hit the miserable headmaster with a Crucio charm.

The Moment: A boffin’s attempt to show the powers of Scanning go awry when telekinetic rogue Michael Ironside decides to blow his head open, just for kicks.

Only In The '80s: ...would this become one of the most rewound few seconds in VHS history that doesn’t involve breasts.

If It Was Made Today: It’d be done on computer,and it’d miss the visceral impact of shooting a fake head full of livers with a shotgun.

The Moment: Bruised but not beaten, Ralph Macchio pulls out the tricky crane kick to win the tournament.

Only In The '80s: Would the guy yelling “Get him a bodybag, yeah!” become a cult icon.

If It Was Made Today: Mr Miyagi would be Chinese or something.

The Moment: Klaus Kinski brings opera to the Amazon...by carting a boat up the side of a forest.

Only In The '80s: ...would the filmmakers actually do this for real.

If It Was Made Today: It’d never happen. Not even Werner Herzog is that crazy these days.

The Moment: Richard Gere, in full Naval whites, marches into Debra Winger’s factory and literally sweeps her off her feet.

Only In The '80s: ...were men in uniform so fetishised by Hollywood. See also: Top Gun.

If It Was Made Today: They’d do it right there and then in the factory.

The Moment: Anne Archer returns home to find crazy Glenn Close has left something is cooking on the stove – specifically, the family rabbit.

Only In The '80s: ...could an entire character type – the ‘bunny boiler’ – be nicknamed from a single scene.

If It Was Made Today: You just know that bunny is going to end up actually getting served for dinner.

The Moment: A head sprouts spider's legs and scuttles across the floor. The correct response is: “You’ve got to be fucking kidding.”

Only In The '80s: ...were major Hollywood remakes allowed to get this weird.

If It Was Made Today: We’ll know soon enough. The prequel is imminent.

The Moment: Michael Douglas’ Gordon Gekko gives the defining economic speech of a generation: “Greed, for want of a better word, is good.”

Only In The '80s: ...could a crook like Gekko be heralded as a hero.

If It Was Made Today: Judging by the sequel, greed would be kinda, sorta OK in moderation.

The Moment: Molly Ringwald attends her high school prom on her own, in a bespoke pink dress refashioned by hand-me-downs.

Only In The '80s: ...would preppy Andrew McCarthy be seen as a better catch than Jon Cryer’s too-cool-for-school Duckie.

If It Was Made Today: They’d get Kate Middleton’s wedding designer Sarah Burton to make the dress.

The Moment: Ivan Drago and Rocky Balboa prepare for the USA/USSR grudge match: the Russian with hi-tech equipment, Stallone lugging logs in the snow.

Only In The '80s: ...could the training montage be this cheesy.

If It Was Made Today: After Team America: World Police? That would take balls bigger than Rocky's.

The Moment: Greenskeeper Bill Murray wires up the golf course with explosives to try and kill a gopher who is chewing up the course.

Only In The '80s: ...could Murray be upstaged by a glove puppet.

If It Was Made Today: You’d have to convince Murray that the Coen Brothers were directing.

The Moment: The camera slowly dollies in as Beatrice Dalle and Jean-Hugues Anglade enjoy a fast, frantic fuck.

Only In The '80s: ...would a thousand students crack one off to the poster on their bedroom wall.

If It Was Made Today: The actors would do it for real.

The Moment: Terry Jones’ ultra-obese Mr Creosote waddles into a restaurant, orders everything off the menu, and still can’t resist a "wafeer-thin" mint. Ka-boom!

Only In The '80s: ...could this be seen as bearing any relation whatsoever to the meaning of life.

If It Was Made Today: Mr Creosote would be played by Ricky Gervais.

The Moment: Having successfully overturned a ban on rock ‘n’ roll, Kevin Bacon leads the school prom into the title track. "Hey, hey! What's this I see? I thought this was a party. LET'S DANCE!"

Only In The '80s: ...would Bacon be more famous as an actor than a trivia game.

If It Was Made Today: A case of life pre-empts website feature, because the remake is already on the way.

The Moment: The future of cinema zooms past as we’re introduced to the light-cycles.

Only In The '80s: ...would CGI be dismissed as a fad.

If It Was Made Today: It’d still look (and sound) cool, but you wouldn’t have the foggiest what was going on.

The Moment: Every emotion under the sun plays out on Bob Hoskins’ face as he realises that his limo driver (one Pierce Brosnan) is going to kill him.

Only In The '80s: ...would an audacious long-take close-up be soundtracked by disco music.

If It Was Made Today: The kids would assume it was a Guy Ritchie rip-off, and not vice versa.

The Moment: Real-life Marine Drill Sergeant R. Lee Ermey practices his stand-up comedy routine on his latest recruits. “I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around."

Only In The '80s: ...would Vietnam War movies be so popular a director could made half a film simply about their training.

If It Was Made Today: They’d probably hire an actor to play the sarge.

The Moment: Michelle Pfeiffer drapes herself over a piano in the slinkiest of red dresses and melts hearts and more with her rendition of Making Whoopee.

Only In The '80s: ...could a romantic drama be made starring Beau Bridges. Jeff, yes. But not Beau.

If It Was Made Today: The Baker Boys would probably be bakers.

The Moment: Troubled Judd Nelson gets out of detention a changed man, and punches the air in triumph.

Only In The '80s: ...could a single man – John Hughes – unite the athletes, basket cases, princesses, geeks and criminals.

If It Was Made Today: The influence of Glee would ensure that ‘Alive and Kicking’ would be sung by the cast.

The Moment: Gordie LaChance tells his latest short story to his friends – the tale of pie-eating machine Lardass.

Only In The '80s: ...could a complete and total barf-o-rama come across as charming.

If It Was Made Today: All crudity, zero charm.

The Moment: Judd Reinhold gets caught having a wank as he imagines Phoebe Cates taking off her red bikini.

Only In The '80s: Could something this pervy be so strangely innocent.

If It Was Made Today: The scene would be kept back until the uncut extended DVD release.

The Moment: A waiter with a gun. A diamond on ice. A poisoned Indy. And a great big massive gong. Anything goes in Shanghai.

Only In The '80s: ...was Spielberg rocking the confidence to open an action-adventure with a screwball/musical hybrid.

If It Was Made Today: A gopher in the desert. Not quite as iconic, is it?

The Moment: Seduction, Navy Seal style – Tom Cruise sings a karaoke You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling to pull Kelly McGillis.

Only In The '80s: ...would the entire bar join in.

If It Was Made Today: It’d probably be a sodding James Blunt song.

The Moment: Mandy Patinkin repeats his mantra, just in case Christopher Guest doesn’t get it: “I am Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!”

Only In The '80s: ...did every film have a catchphrase.

If It Was Made Today: Inigo Montoya? Too foreign. How about Chuck Manly?

The Moment: The opening animated short over, Roger Rabbit and Baby Herman walk off-set and into a live-action film studio.

Only In The '80s: ...could the major studios be persuaded to bury the hatchet and collaborate on something like this.

If It Was Made Today: Failing to get the character rights, they’d have to use made-up ‘toons instead of classic Disney and Loony Tunes icons.