My Other Movie Lines

- YOU! You can RUN, but you can't HIDE!

- It's good to be the king.

- A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no?

♪ ♫ If I were a rich man, ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ If I were a wealthy man. ♪ ♫

- Tradition! Tradition!

♪ ♫ Lord who mad the lion and the lamb, ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ You decreed I should be what I am. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Would it spoil some vast eternal plan? ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ If I were a wealthy man. ♪ ♫

- Yes, I read the letter, you licentious quack! And what facile tripe it is!

- It’s all so strange. A relatively insignificant creatures lives and dies. A marriage is jeopardized. A child’s education is almost destroyed. And yet, somehow, some way… I’m getting some action out of it!

- If you're not wearin' comfortable shoes, life is just chaos. I mean the greatest accomplishments in history have been made by men wearin' accommodating shoes.

- Mein Führer! I can walk!

- Kiss me.
- What?
- Kiss me. When I'm being fucked, I like to get kissed a lot.

- That don't make no sense!

- They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

- Then may the Christian Lord, guide my hand, against your Roman popery!

- Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco.

-Bond. James Bond.

- A martini. shaken, not stirred

- Fuck Yo Couch Nigga! Fuck Yo Couch!!

- Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

- Yes, they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell! (A Time to Kill)

- How's it taste motherfucker!

- Imagine that!…Two women, touching on each others titty balls. Caressing ‘em. Gently stroking those nipples, ‘til the get just so…STIFF and ERECT! Blowing on them. *Wheew, Whew

- Man, fuck you son! I'm glad you think he's so gaddamn hilarious because he just walked off with your school clothes money. It's, isn't it? I'm broke nigga, I'm broke!

- Fuck Nick Cannon!

♪ ♫ I got the queen of all the acrobats ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ to see her perform will give you the lovely shits. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ She can shoot green peas right out of her dirty ass hole ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ turn them up and somersault and catch 'em on her tits. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ She can run, jump, fight, fuck, roll a hoop or push a truck ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ and thats the kind of great big bitch ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ who's going to marry me. ♪ ♫

- The way of the future...

- Smile for me now, brother

♪ ♫ We're men, we're men in tights. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ We roam around the forest looking for fights. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ We're men, we're men in tights. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ We may look like sissies, ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights! ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ We're men, we're men in tights, ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Always on guard defending the people's rights. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ♪ ♫

I AM OZ!

- I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around.

- Me so HORNY. Me love you long time. You party?

- Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!

-Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket.

♪ ♫ We play fair and we work hard and we're in harmony. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.) ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.) ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Forever let us hold our banner high. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ High. High. High. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Boys and girls from far and near you're as welcome as can be. ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. ♪ ♫

- Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!

- You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

♪ ♫ You give a little love ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ And it all comes back to you ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ (Da da da ra da da da) ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ You know you gonna be remembered ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ For the things you say and do ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ (Da da da ra da da da) ♪ ♫

- It's a giraffe!

- CHOOOCOOLAATE!!

- Finland!

♪ ♫ It's the best day ever! ♪ ♫

- IMAGINATION!

- Da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-­da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-daa Da-da-da-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-­da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, *tssshh* Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa-da-da­a-da-daa, Ti-ta-ti-ti-ta-ti-ti-ta-ta-ta-­la-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-la-ba-ba-­ba-ba-da-la-ba-ba-baa, Ti-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ti-taa, Ti-ta-ti-li... /*o*)/ (gasps) Ti-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-­ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ti-ta-ti-ti-­ta-ti-ti-taaaaa PEPARING THE KRABBY PATTY!

- NOSFERATU!

- Chaostician, chaostician

- Clever girl.

(It has so many memorable quotes)

- This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

- Where's the money, Lebowski?

- Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit.

- Bummer man.

- Failure, eh? Ha-ha! Take a look at *that*, you pompous windbag!

- Fifty million dollars?

- Man, you better take your goddamn hands off my suit. Your mama bought me this for Christmas. This is my favorite suit.

- Because they don't give a damn about you! They don't like you! I don't like you!
- I don't care! I'm here for the girl!
- The girl don't like you! Nobody likes you!

- DO-YOU-UNDERSTAND-THE-WORDS-THAT-ARE-COMING-OUT-OF-MY-MOUTH?

- Don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy!

- Giaca! Giaca!

- I will bitch-slap you back to Africa.

- You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but only I can make her laugh.

- The Great Evil King Ganondorf... beaten by this kid?!

- Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn't be falling out. Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm a walking cliché. I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There's something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. I'm way overdue. If I stop putting things off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn't fat I would be happier. I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that's fooling anyone. Fat ass. I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more, improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something? Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese. I'd be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that? Just be real. Confident. Isn't that what women are attracted to? Men don't have to be attractive. But that's not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it's my brain chemistry. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that. But I'll still be ugly though. Nothing's gonna change that.

- Would you fuck me?... I'd fuck me... I'd fuck me hard...

- Even the fuckin' trees walked in those movies.

- Venga, venga! Pégueme si eso lo hace sentir mas limpio! Por favor, pégueme!

- Ah Armando. ¿Usted cree que el infierno es ese hueco negro al que nos vamos los pecadores después de morir? No. Ah ah! El infierno suyo está acá, su infierno son ellos y el infierno de ellos es usted. Que mi Dios los tenga en la Gloria!

- Mr. Anderson.

- You're fired!

- Flowers? How much? If you spend any more on this thing, you can pick the daisies off my grave! Get plastic!

- If we can get a picture of Julia Roberts in a thong, we can certainly get a picture of this weirdo.

- He doesn't want to be famous? Then I'll make him infamous.

- Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!

♪ ♫ Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Oh yes, they both ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Oh yes, they both reached for ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Oh yes, they both reached for the gun ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ For the gun ♪ ♫

- So she says, "Uh-uh, You don't have a challenge, you need a challenge." So now I'm challenged, all right- I'm challenged to hold on to my lunch money because of all the big mooses who wanna pound me, 'cause they think I'm a shrimpy dork who thinks he's smarter than them! But I don't think I'm smarter, I just do the stupid homework! If everyone else JUST DID THE STUPID HOMEWORK, they could move up a grade and get pounded, too! Is there anymore coffee?

- Atomic holocaust!

♪ ♫ Hands over your head; keep low to the ground. Time to duck and cover, the bombs are comin' down. Duck and cover. ♪ ♫

- Hey there, scout! Kent Mansley, I work for the government.

- Utinni!

- You may fire when ready.

- Stay on target!

- No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.

-I'll never join you!
- If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
- He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him!
- No. *I* am your father.
- No. No. That's not true. That's impossible!
- Search your feelings, you *know* it to be true!
- Noooo! Nooooo!

- Give me Jedi! Give me Jedi!

- Jabba! This is your last chance. Free us or die.

- I can feel your anger.

- It is your destiny.

- ... turn him to the Dark Side of the Force.

Drew Carey: Now, we need two unlikely roommates.
Person from audience: Bill Cosby and Hitler!
Drew Carey: Bill Cosby and Hitler! Bill Cosby and Hitler certainly unlikely roomates
Censor: Hold Please.
Drew Carey: You've got to be kidding me.
Ryan Stiles: Not that Hitler
Brad Sherwood: We meant RUDOLPH Hitler!
Wayne Brady: [as Bill Cosby] Would you like some Jello... Hitler?
Drew Carey: Somebody over there! Gimme a profession
Person from audience: Insurance Salesman
Drew Carey: Insurance Salesman. Brad and Wayne, you're going to be singing Bill Cosby and the Insurance Salesman. Pretty fucking funny isn't it?

♪ ♫ With the wig, you remind me, of Julia ♪ ♫

-Meow

- Hi, Welcome to fuck me silly.

- They ALL float down here. When you're down here with us, you'll float too!

♪ ♫ Clink, clink, clank, clank, give the money to the bank ♫ ♪

- Dance puppets, Dance!

- ZUUL MOTHERFUCKER ZUUL!

- Yes MAN!

- Just because you're brave doesn't mean you're capable.

- You're the bravest girl I've ever met. Now stick it back in, it fell out.

- I'll be back.

- You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum...

- Oh, thank God you're all right. You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy, when all along you were my best friend. The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain. [Announcer: "Caroline deleted."] Goodbye, Caroline. You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest - killing you is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me, or put me in a potato, or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life. And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what? You win. Just go. [gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.

- Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.