Rom-Coms That Don't Suck

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Decade: Rating: List Type:

5.3

5.8

My Girlfriend's Boyfriend (2012)

This movie seems to set up the classic love triangle, which would typically be resolved when one of the characters proves unsuitable for our protagonist. But in both cases, it is understandable why the protagonist is interested in each character, and bad behaviour is not rewarded.

2287

6.1

6.3

My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)

This movie includes almost all of the classic toxic rom-com tropes including deceit, miscommunication, scheming, a love triangle, etc. but bad behaviour is ultimately not rewarded.

6.5

Dostana (2008)

This is another movie that involves a love triangle (or love quadrangle - perhaps a love asterisks since it's one protagonist with 3 potential love interests?) and a "will they / won't they" conflict that relies on deceit, miscommunication, and scheming, but bad behaviour is ultimately not rewarded.

237

6.6

6.9

Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

It is clear in this movie why the two protagonists are together. They clearly adore each other and are compatible with each other, and they also communicate with each other. The conflict comes from outside cultural pressures to give the "will they / won't they" plot, but unlike most rom-coms, these are not two characters who hate each other that we're supposed to inexplicably hope they get or stay together and they are not torn apart by simple miscommunication.

If a movie would be over in the first 5 minutes just by having the characters talk directly to each other, that's poor communication and lazy writing. Sometimes people can do everything "right" and still get pulled apart. This couple is a functional, loving couple who face very large external challenges to their relationship.

6.3

Love and Leashes

This movie is arguably the best representation of BDSM I've ever seen on screen. It shows negotiation, exploration, acceptance, and it shows realistic examples of several very specific kinks without exploitation or gratuitous sex.

5.7

6.7

The Valet (2022)

Similar to My Best Friend's Wedding in that poor behaviour is not rewarded and people do not end up with who you might expect them to.

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A list of romantic comedies that don't suck. In order to qualify for this list, it needs to have enough of the rom-com tropes to make it actually qualify as a "romantic comedy" and not just any movie with romance in it or any comedy that has a couple in it, and yet still subvert the majority of rom-com tropes that exhibit or celebrate or reward unhealthy, toxic, damaging, traumatic, or unhelpful social mores and beliefs.

A rom-com is a subgenre of comedy and "slice-of-life" fiction, focusing on lighthearted, humorous plot lines centered on romantic ideas, specifically where it's distinguishing feature is a love plot between two main sympathetic lovers or love interests. It is the combination of two distinct genres - the comedy and the love story, therefore it must have both elements as *defining* features. A drama with a couple of jokes does not qualify, while a comedy with some serious moments does qualify. However, there is a genre called the "rom-dram" which is a romantic drama.

Many movies have a romantic and/or sexual relationship between the protagonists, but that doesn't make them rom-coms. The romance between them has to be as essential to the plot or the whole plot as the comedy aspect is. For every romance story in an action film, you could take out the romantic part and the movie could go on essentially unaltered.

Another necessary element is the "happy ending". However, even though it is implied that they live a happily ever after, it does not always state what that happy ending will be. The couple does not necessarily get married, or even end up together in a romantic relationship for it to be a "happily ever after". The ending of a romantic comedy is meant to affirm the primary importance of the love relationship in its protagonists' lives, even if they physically separate in the end.

And finally, for it to qualify for the "don't suck" part of this list, the movie has to subvert classic rom-com tropes. These are elements in a rom-com that are not *necessary* for it to be considered a rom-com, but are typical, common, and/or expected. Tropes tend to reflect the values of the culture and era, or at least the values that the writers believe represent the culture and era. Consequently, romantic tropes tend to be extremely toxic.

Traditionally, rom-com tropes include elements, situations, and personalities that violate consent, that ignore the agency of the characters, that are underhanded and deceitful, and that promote poor relationship skills such as lack of communication, not working on a relationship under the belief that "love conquers all", that hold up completely unrealistic ideals about love, and more.

For more in-depth analysis of what makes a rom-com, visit the following:
ew.com/movies/2019/02/06/what-is-a-rom-com/
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RomanticComedy
www.glamour.com/story/a-brief-history-of-romantic-co
www.premiumbeat.com/blog/rom-com-genre-filmmaking-elements/