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Added by PerfectPortal on 31 Dec 2016 10:44
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My Top 10 Least Favourite Movies of 2016

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Decade: Rating: List Type:
People who added this item 283 Average listal rating (195 ratings) 4.7 IMDB Rating 5.4
Gods of Egypt (2016)
Not even fifteen minutes in, I'd already deemed this movie to be a train wreck; its ineptitude was leaving me speechless with shock and amazement! The performances are all hammy and stilted, and the CG, from start to finish, just looks awful! Now, I'm not all that familiar with the Ancient Egyptian gods โ€“ I'm far more interested in Greek legend myself โ€“ but I'm willing to bet this movie bastardises the mythology as much as any given movie based on the Greek myths. In any event, this was actually one of the funnier movies I saw this year, but for all the wrong reasons.
PerfectPortal's rating:
Just as I expected, this movie is just as dull, unappealing and joyless as Man of Steel, and the dialogue is every bit as dry and uninteresting. Every other problem that's been addressed โ€“ the haphazard plot, the mischaracterisation, the stupidity, the overreliance on fanservice โ€“ that all comes second as far as I'm concerned. Ironically, Wonder Woman, the addition I was always against, turned out to be the best part. Other than that, this movie is tedious and aggravating. How is it that the animated Batman/Superman movies, particularly the World's Finest special, actually took their audience more seriously than this supposedly "adult" version?!
PerfectPortal's rating:
People who added this item 241 Average listal rating (169 ratings) 5.3 IMDB Rating 6
The Boy (2016)
This comes to us from the director of The Devil Inside โ€“ still the worst movie of 2012 in my opinion โ€“ so I very quickly abandoned all hope! It's about an American nanny who's shocked to find that the boy of the English family she's charged with is actually a life-sized doll โ€“ a moment that left me just as baffled, wondering why she didn't leave immediately, as this couple was clearly insane. But of course, as the film progresses, it turns out the doll might be alive. And then a further twist occurs, bringing on a climax that had me howling with laughter!
PerfectPortal's rating:
People who added this item 265 Average listal rating (190 ratings) 6.4 IMDB Rating 6.7
This action film's gimmick is that it plays out entirely in POV, presumably to emulate a video game feel. Well, sometimes what works in one medium doesn't in another! I don't usually get motion sickness from POV camera movies, but this one (as well as the brief first-person sequence in Grimsby) made me queasy within five minutes because the camera was moving way too fast! Plus, the action scenes are relentless, following each other nonstop with hardly a second to breathe, which makes the whole thing just plain boring. I seriously underestimated what a frustrating watch this movie would turn out to be.
PerfectPortal's rating:
People who added this item 252 Average listal rating (175 ratings) 5 IMDB Rating 5.9
Dirty Grandpa (2016)
Zac Efron plays an uptight guy who's tricked into driving his lecherous grandfather to Florida. Honestly, I think the title says it all. If crude, largely sexual humour is your thing, knock yourself out. I personally found it utterly loathsome. The characters are all annoying too, especially Cousin Nick, whom I wanted to shut up within ten seconds, and those stupid corrupt cops. Like so many vulgar comedies, it tries to balance out that rampant coarseness by throwing in some sentimentality as well, and it doesn't work. It's yet another sad reminder of just how much Robert De Niro has fallen from grace.
PerfectPortal's rating:
People who added this item 163 Average listal rating (113 ratings) 6.6 IMDB Rating 7.3
13 Hours (2016)
Look, I'm a broken record when it comes to Michael Bay, but I was hopeful that maybe, just maybe, this might be the one good movie he'd surprise me with. Alas, no. This is yet another Michael Bay movie that manages to be both excruciatingly boring and endlessly annoying. So many of my usual complaints with his direction are still present here: the performances are flat, the camera never stands the fuck still, and at two-and-a-half hours, it feels brutally long. It's far from his worst movie, but it was still a real struggle to get through. When will Michael Bay just go away?!
PerfectPortal's rating:
People who added this item 135 Average listal rating (89 ratings) 6 IMDB Rating 6.8
Chris Pine stars in this account of the 1952 US Coast Guard rescue of the SS Pendleton after it split apart in a storm off the New England coast. I never would have thought a movie about arguably the greatest rescue in the history of the US Coast Guard could be so boring! But lo and behold, its almost nonexistent acting and overall subdued tone make it shockingly, agonisingly so! Seriously, I cannot believe how boring this movie is! It's astonishing โ€“ crippling! Also, I could tell right away that the period setting was CG, and the computer-generated backgrounds look like shit.
PerfectPortal's rating:
People who added this item 100 Average listal rating (76 ratings) 4.1 IMDB Rating 5.3
Nine Lives (2016)
Kevin Spacey plays a stuffy businessman who finds himself trapped in the body of the family cat. As soon as I heard about this movie, I suspected it was going to be bad, but I could never have expected it to be this bad! It's as generic a tale of a lesson in humility as it gets. It's too stupid an idea for adults, and its corporate content is too incomprehensible for kids. But the biggest clincher: the CGI is atrocious! Still, Kevin Spacey's sarcastic voice-over is fun to listen to, probably because I like to think he's channelling genuine contempt for the script. :)
PerfectPortal's rating:
People who added this item 95 Average listal rating (65 ratings) 4.1 IMDB Rating 4.3
Cell (2016)
Based on Stephen King's novel, this is another one that's so agonisingly boring I can't hope to adequately convey it. After a promising start, it descends into utter tedium really fast; it's every zombie apocalypse story you've ever seen before. On top of that, it's incompetent on almost every level: the acting, the direction, the camerawork, the effects โ€“ everything. The zombies, or "phoners", making actual dial tone noises is an idea that just does not work on screen. The only reason I kept watching is because Samuel L. Jackson does have a funny line once in a while. Other than that, this movie was torturous!
PerfectPortal's rating:
People who added this item 270 Average listal rating (182 ratings) 4.7 IMDB Rating 5.2
The 5th Wave (2016)
It's quite a coincidence that both the top two movies on this list are based on books. :) In this case, the source material is Rick Yancey's novel about four waves of increasingly devastating alien attacks that have left most of the Earth decimated, and Chloรซ Grace Moretz stars as a girl on the run, desperately trying to help her younger brother. The term "young adult" has now become a dreaded two words in fiction, especially film adaptations (despite the fact that Harry Potter also falls under that banner), and this movie perfectly demonstrates why. It showcases all the worst elements that people associate with the genre: the acting is horrible, the dialogue is awful, the plot is thoroughly predictable every step of the way, and the romance is hackneyed and completely shallow. This year was loaded with depressingly bad movies, but none were as frustrating to watch as this one. I usually don't complain about movies being predictable or clichรฉd, but The 5th Wave brought absolutely nothing new to the table, and that's the main reason it takes the number one spot.
PerfectPortal's rating:

Happy New Year! :) And I'm sure many of us can't wait to turn our backs on 2016! This was quite possibly one of the worst years in recent memory; it was practically a never-ending string of bad news! Not only did the political climate mark a triumph for hate, discrimination and intolerance, and a severe blow to basic human decency and any sense of progression (at least, that's the way I see it), but it was a year so chock full of celebrity deaths that I saw a post floating around the Internet of people wanting to know what 2016's problem was! There was so much death and, like I said before, just general bad news all around us that I'm surprised the whole world didn't fall into depression!
But the world at large is not my passion. I don't care that much about current events; I care about movies. And, unfortunately, I have to share in everyone else's pessimism in that regard, because this was not a good year for me as a film buff. So much of this year's cinematic output was either mediocre or just plain bad that it just kept beating me down, leaving me wondering a few times if it was all worthwhile. But, thankfully, there were plenty of really good ones as well, so I usually had a happy place to recall and break that dejection. :)
And, before I start listing some specific examples, let me just remind you of the criteria I set for all these year-end lists. I'm only including movies I've actually seen; that's the only way I can form concrete opinions, after all. I don't count movies that haven't yet been seen outside of film festivals; they have to have been distributed for the general public to see. And, because international release dates open up a whole new can of worms, I judge strictly by its initial release according to IMDb. So if, like me, you live in the British Isles, you're not going to see Creed, Room or Spotlight on the best-of list, as they came out in the US in 2015.

Before that best-of list, however, I have to talk about the movies that made 2016 so unbearable for me. Like I said, when this year's movies were bad, they were shockingly bad! For the first time since I've been making these year-end lists, the worst-of top ten is comprised entirely of movies I rated one star (2/10 or less)! I'm not even kidding; every previous worst-of list has had at least one movie that scraped a 3/10!
It could potentially have been even worse, though, because I didn't see every movie that was reportedly bad. Towards the end of the year, I'd seen so many uninspiring movies in quick succession that I finally decided to do what most casual filmgoers would do: just refuse to see something I didn't want to. I avoided Fifty Shades of Black, for example, and several other comedies that look vexing, like Bad Moms, Keanu and especially Office Christmas Party. Needless to say, there were a fair few sequels this year as well, some of which followed movies I still haven't seen (namely Alice Through the Looking Glass and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows), while some were adding to movies I didn't like to begin with (i.e. Allegiant and The Purge: Election Year). Other miscellaneous poorly received movies include The Darkness, The Other Side of the Door, When the Bough Breaks, The Disappointments Room, Max Steel and Shut In. Then there's Assassin's Creed, which hasn't been released yet here in the British Isles.
And now, with all that aside, let's finally start talking about the worst of what I did see.

Runners-up:
Bad Neighbours 2 (AKA Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising)
Criminal
The Forest
Ghostbusters
Grimsby (known in the US as The Brothers Grimsby)
Misconduct
Norm of the North
Ratchet & Clank (one of four video game movies to come out this year!)

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