My Favorite Movie Quotes

Juno MacGuff: I think I'm in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No... I mean for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.

Vanessa: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

Mac MacGuff: [a very pregnant Juno enters the room] Hey there, big puffy version of Junebug!

Mac MacGuff: Did you see that coming?
Bren: Yeah... but I was hoping she was expelled, or into hard drugs.
Mac MacGuff: That was my first instinct too. Or a DWI... anything but this!

Bren: Doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream.

Walter Stratford: "I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My momma didn't raise no fool!"

Walter Stratford: "You're 18, you don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want 'til you're 45, and even if you get it, you'll be too old to use it."

Kat Stratford:
"I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick — it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh — even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."

Allie: Say I'm a bird
Noah: You're a bird
Allie: Now, say you're a bird.
Noah: If you're a bird, I'm a bird.

Noah: I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Gaston: How can you read this? There’s no pictures!
Belle: Well, some people use their imagination.

Witch King: [taking Eowyn by the throat] You fool. No man can kill me. Die now.
[Merry stabs the Witch King from behind; the Witch King shrieks and falls to his knees. Eowyn rises and pulls off her helm, her hair falls down over her shoulder]
Eowyn: I am no man.

Chief Inspector Lee: If you're half Chinese, I'm half black. I'm your brother and I'm fly. You down with that, Snoopy? That's dope, innit?
Detective James Carter: Sorry, Lee. You can't be black. There's a height requirement.

Detective James Carter: Lee, I'm alive. My whole life flashed in front of me. In three years I'll be married to a Chinese woman. We had three kids, look just like you, only a little darker.

Edide: Sometimes, I wet my bed!
Crash: That's all right. Sometimes, I wet your bed!

Edward: [about Jacob] Doesn't he own a shirt?

Charlie Swan: What's going on?
Jacob Black: [pause] I kissed Bella.
[pause]
Jacob Black: And she broke her hand.
[pause]
Jacob Black: Punching my face.
[pause]
Jacob Black: It was a complete misunderstanding.

Charlie: “I mean, you definitely don't want to have to get married cause you're not.. um, careful.”
Bella: “What?”
Charlie: “You know what I'm talking about. There's... things that you need to think about if you're going to be... physically intimate...”
Bella: “Okay, Don't, don't have ‘the talk...’ please!”
Charlie: “It's just as embarrassing for me as it is for you...”
Bella: “I doubt that. And don't bother, 'cause mom beat you to the punch like ten years ago...”
Charlie: “Well, you didn't have a boyfriend ten years ago.”
Bella: “I'm sure things work...the same...way.”
Charlie: “Alright, so, you guys are taking precautions?”
Bella: “Okay, dad, please just don't worry about...that. Edward is...old school.”
Charlie: “Old School. Great. What's that? Like, code for something?”
Bella: “Oh my God, Dad? I'm a virgin!” [Gives thumbs-up to Charlie]
Charlie: “Ah, di-di-di-di, okay... glad we covered that.”
Bella: (Runs up the stairs) “Me too.”
Charlie: (To himself) “Virgin... I'm liking Edward a little more now...”

Pugsley: We're not shy!
Wednesday: We're contagious.

Little Girl: ...and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.

Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

Jack Sparrow: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?

Jazz: What's crackin' little bitches?

Ironhide: [drawing his guns] You feelin' lucky, punk?
Optimus Prime: Easy, Ironhide...
Ironhide: Just kidding. I just wanted to show him my cannons.

Legolas: "Do you want me to describe it to you, or would you like me to get you a box?"

Gimli: Oh come on, we can take 'em.
Aragorn: It's a long way.
Gimli: Toss me.
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me.
Gimli: Don't tell the elf.
Aragorn: Not a word.

Pintel: You know you can't read.
Ragetti: It's the bible, you get credit for tryin'.

Goldfinger: "No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!"

Detective Lt. William Somerset: "Ernest Hemingway once wrote: 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part."

The Joker: "Want to know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not one bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says: 'Why so serious?' He comes at me with the knife - 'Why so serious?!' He sticks the blade in my mouth. 'Let's put a smile on that face!' And why so serious?"

Agent Simmons: What you are about to see is top secret. Do NOT tell my mother!

Jetfire: I have issues of my own, and it started with my mother! My ancestors have been here for centuries! My father, why, he was a wheel! The FIRST wheel! Do you know what he tranformed into?
Agent Simmons: No.
Leo: What?
Jetfire: NOTHING! But he did so with honour! DIGNITY, damn it!

Allan Quatermain: Automatic rifles. Who in God's name has automatic rifles?
Elderly Hunter: Dashed unsporting. Probably Belgian.