British Comedy: Operation Good Guys

Years: 1997-2000
Broadcaster: BBC
Genre: Mockumentary, Sitcom
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Stars: David Gillespie, Ray Burdis
Episodes: 19
Episode Average: 3.421

BEST EPISODES:
Radio Silence (1998), Safe As Houses (1998)

SERIES ONE

(1997-1998)
7 episodes
Series Score: 34
Episode Average: 4.86
Perfect 10's: 0

S1E1

THE INFORMANT

Originally broadcast: 29 December 1997
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

D.I. Beach puts together an elite unit to catch a Teflon-coated criminal, Barwick finds an informant who might be willing to help them out, and the team put their hair on the line as they gather the important details.

"And something else - you're simply the best. Better than all the rest. Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met. I'm stuck on your love."

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S1E2

RADIO SILENCE

Originally broadcast: 3 January 1998
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

A change of strategy sees Bones brief the team about a drugs buy plan, Kemp's inexperience leaves them with no money and no merchandise, and the accountant loses £2000 needed for a second bite of the cherry.

"I'm going to introduce you now to a very clever surveillance technique which enables us to view a crime scene without being seen ourselves. And we do that from the boot of a car. We peer out of two very cleverly concealed holes in the number plate, as you can see. Where are they?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

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S1E3

FRISK' EM

Originally broadcast: 10 January 1998
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

Beach asks a New York cop to talk to the team about the American way, Kemp manages to spoil a plan involving a booby-trapped $500,000, and the unimpressed guest uses strong-arm tactics to get some information.

"I opened the bag because I just wanted to see half a million dollars. Y'know, I mean, it's just, when am ever I going to have the chance to open a bag and see all that money? So I just thought, 'Bosh!' And then... Y'know, now I look like the geezer from the Wizard of Oz. Y'know what I mean?"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

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S1E4

HOLIDAY

Originally broadcast: 17 January 1998
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

Beach decides that the team needs a bit of downtime following the siege, Bones seeks medical attention when a silly stunt leaves him injured, and de Sade uses the day off to give Kemp a little bit of extra special training.

"Hey, get out of my car! Where did you get my keys? You can't do that! That's gravel! Don't...! Look...! You bastards! I'll sue you! I'll sue this bleedin' department for every penny it hasn't got!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

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S1E5

SAFE AS HOUSES

Originally broadcast: 24 January 1998
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

The team protect a key witness who's willing to blow the cover on Smiler, Leyton's forced to make a series of cutbacks in a bid to save money, and Beach tries to convince the BBC that they have the chance of a lifetime.

"Put it back down there! I don't want your sandwich! You've had your hands down the khazi, ya filthy bastard, and now you're making a sandwich! You trying to insult me?"

HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

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S1E6

OPEN DAY

Originally broadcast: 31 January 1998
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

Beach decides to hold an open day to highlight the work of his operation, the team come forward with a variety of entertainment suggestions, and Kemp's decision to train the Commissioner's police dog ends in disaster.

"Roll up! Roll up! Come and meet your local undercover police squad!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

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S1E7

SYLVIA LA PLAGE

Originally broadcast: 7 February 1998
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

The team are informed that Operation Good Guys has been cancelled, news about what really happened arrives in the form of a postcard, and the moment of honesty inspires Beach to reveal a big secret of his own.

"Those of you... with any modicum of intelligence will have noticed that we don't have furniture any more."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 3

SERIES TWO

(1999)
6 episodes
Series Score: 20
Episode Average: 3.33
Perfect 10's: 0

S2E1

BACK TO SCHOOL

Originally broadcast: 5 July 1999
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

Beach literally begs the BBC to bring the show back for a second series, the team are sent for retraining when they're demoted to uniform, and power goes straight to Kemp's head when he's given the role of monitor.

"I'm gonna be here. Pole position, here. Ray, you're gonna be underneath me as usual."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

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S2E2

STARDUST

Originally broadcast: 12 July 1999
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

Beach splits up two Hollywood actors who are doing research for a film, Bones recruits Kemp to work as a part-time vigilante crime fighter, and de Sade looks to make some extra money from a surveillance exercise.

"I mean, look at the state of you, son. You're going 'I'm a copper, I'm a copper.' Look at the state of yas. Like Catwoman on a bad night... and Popeye!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

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S2E3

FORENSICS

Originally broadcast: 19 July 1999
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

The team are told to treat a burglary like a murder scene for an exercise, Beach struggles to focus when he behaves like a kid in a sweet shop, and the script for a murder mystery weekend proves to be rather confusing.

"I see that your hole's empty, sir, would you like me to fill it for you?"

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

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S2E4

I WILL SURVIVE

Originally broadcast: 26 July 1999
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

The team are sent on a survival course to see if they can live off the land, rowing to the location leads to them being teased by a group of kids, and Barwick voices his concerns about the camp leader being a bit of a racist.

"I can't look at the sun, can I? Not with my nose."

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

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S2E5

VIVA ESPANA

Originally broadcast: 2 August 1999
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

The team get ready to fly to sunny Spain to take part in a joint operation, decisions have to be made when their luggage is found to be overweight, and making contact with MI6 proves tricky after Beach takes medication.

"Look! It's one of them erm... You know when they put the dye in the swimming pool? You know when you have a Jimmy Riddle? Look! Look, it actually works. Look! That's classic! Be like one of the Red Arrows. Look! With all the smoke fading out. I'll do a loop-the-loop!"

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

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S2E6

OPERATION ZORRO

Originally broadcast: 9 August 1999
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

Beach ends up with burns all over his body after falling asleep in the sun, the BBC are assured that the team are totally focused on the job at hand, and Kemp and Bones get banged up by the police for indecent exposure.

"Give me a Screaming Orgasm now."

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

SERIES THREE

(2000)
6 episodes
Series Score: 11
Episode Average: 1.83
Perfect 10's: 0

S3E1

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT

Originally broadcast: 27 July 2000
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

The BBC make the mistake of suggesting an hour-long seasonal special, Beach tells his team to drop a drugs bust to focus on his Christmas show, and Bones is forced to work without his glasses when they get smashed.

"I can't believe you're arresting me on the grounds that I'm not as Val Doonican!"

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

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S3E2

CASTAWAY

Originally broadcast: 3 August 2000
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

The BBC decide to send the Good Guys on a survival trip to Po Poe Island, de Sade sets up a second camp to get away from Beach's selfish attitude, and Ash makes a new friend when he unexpectedly runs into Donna Air.

"You see, people laughed at me. They didn't think that I'd be able to build a shelter here. Well, let me show you something. Come and look at this. There you go."

HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

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S3E3

RAGING PIG

Originally broadcast: 10 August 2000
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

Beach decides to investigate corruption in boxing when he loses money, Kemp struggles to persuade Frank Warren to promote the Guv'nor, and Bones gests his hands on enough cash to deal with a personal problem.

"I've got a mate of mine who's taking that Viagra now. He reckons he can get it over the counter."

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

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S3E4

THE LEADER

Originally broadcast: 17 August 2000
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

The team find themselves investigating a number of catnapping reports, Bones is offered advice about how to deal with a haemorrhoid problem, and Ash worries when Beach falls under the spell of a weird cult leader.

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Ray. Unless we've got a ten-foot cat."

HOLY GODIVA 0 - ONION JACK 0
TOTAL: 0

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S3E5

JUBILEE

Originally broadcast: 24 August 2000
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

Arrangements have to be made when word arrives about a special visit, Bones claims two casualties when he takes the guests' car for a spin, and Beach insists that the local pub should to be full of genuine East Enders.

"Now, remember, children - nonce. Night Owls Never Cross Erratically."

HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

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S3E6

OPERATION SNOWDROP

Originally broadcast: 31 August 2000
Directed by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis
Written by: Dominic Anciano, Hugo Blick, Ray Burdis

Beach decides to recruit some new minority officers to educate his men, the Assistant Commissioner finds a way to fix the lack of candidates, and two builders get a beating for harassing a couple of slightly dodgy WPCs.

"See, that's what we should do, 'cos our beard comes through. By about five o'clock, we look like Fred Flintstone."

HOLY GODIVA 0 - ONION JACK 0
TOTAL: 0

D.I. JAMES
BEACH

Played by David Gillespie
19 episodes (1997-2000)
in... Radio Silence (S1E2)

D.S. RAYMOND
ASH

Played by Ray Burdis
19 episodes (1997-2000)
in... The Informant (S1E1)

SGT. DOMINIC
DE SADE

Played by Dominic Anciano
19 episodes (1997-2000)
in... Open Day (S1E6)

BONES

Played by Perry Benson
19 episodes (1997-2000)
in... Frisk 'Em (S1E3)

MARK KEMP

Played by Mark Burdis
19 episodes (1997-2000)
in... Viva Espana (S2E5)

STRINGS

Played by John Bennett
19 episodes (1997-2000)
in... Raging Pig (S3E3)

BILL
ZEEBUB

Played by William Scully
18 episodes (1997-2000)
in... Open Day (S1E6)

GARY BARWICK

Played by Gary Beadle
9 episodes (1997-1999)
in... I Will Survive (S2E4)

ROY
LEYTON

Played by Roy Smiles
9 episodes (1997-1999)
in... Sylvia La Plage (S1E7)

KIM 'BOO-BOO'
FINCH

Played by Kim Taylforth
7 episodes (1997-2000)
in... Holiday (S1E4)

'SMILER'
McCARTHY

Played by Hugo Blick
6 episodes (1997-1998)
in... The Informant (S1E1)