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Notes: Well, after working with Roland Emmerich on many blockbusters, apparently, Dean Devlin thought he could also direct his own disaster flick. Eventually, it was at least quite an achievement that Devlin managed to deliver something worse than anything delivered by Emmerich so far. It’s too bad because the idea of making a disaster flick around climate change was intriguing and the damned thing actually had some potential. Unfortunately, I turned out to be one of these blockbusters which try to look very smart but end up being incredibly dumb. I mean, their first dumb move was to choose Gerard Butler to play some genius scientist. Seriously, there was not a single thing that he said that actually sounded convincing. On the other hand, Jim Sturgess was not much better and delivered another really weak performance (on top of that, the fact that this ’super’ scientist’s brother would work for the staff of the US president was just some really lazy writing). Concerning the rest of the cast (Abbie Cornish, Alexandra Maria Lara, Andy Garcia, Ed Harris, Robert Sheehan, Mare Winningham, Zazie Beetz), only Zazie Beetz managed to be interesting/entertaining in a just a few scenes, all the rest was just wasted playing some really poorly written characters. Coming back to the ’master’ plan of the bad guy, if you destroy the whole Earth, how was it going to bring back the USA back on top?!?
Notes: First of all, the damned thing was just so damned long, I think it was the longest movie ever made by Adam Sandler. Seriously, if there is no valid reason why some brainless action flicks like ‘Transformers’ or ‘Fast and Furious 23’ should last more than 2 hours, well, this rule should definitely apply also for all the moronic comedies starring Sandler. Still, I have to admit that it turned out to be slightly better than ‘The Do-Over’ but it wasn’t such a difficult goal to achieve. Indeed, the concept was not bad and it was not completely random. Still, even though they tried to sell the idea that the main character was a hilarious new creation, in fact, Sandler played his usual moronic cringe-inducing guy, basically, a talentless hack who was never funny whatsoever. However, only half of the movie was about his ‘exploits’ as a manager and the other half was about some really unlikely love story with one of his talents. Unfortunately, this romance was never convincing whatsoever and, eventually, the movie was never really about this manager believing in the talents of his protégé but, actually, it was the other way around which was just rather weird. Anyway, it was rather sad to see a lovely girl played by the gorgeous and talented Jennifer Hudson falling in love with this obnoxious man for really no reason whatsoever but, apparently, it is another rule that, in every Sandler movie, he has to get the nicest girls around even if his characters are borderline awful.
Notes: Obviously, they were inspired by ’21 Jump Street’ and they decided to deliver another irreverent R-rated comedy which wasn’t actually a bad idea. Indeed, the concept of the original ‘Baywatch’ TV-show was even more preposterous that the concept of ’21 Jump Street’ so this approach did make sense. Unfortunately, it never worked because the jokes turned out to be so lame. Seriously, there was a huge number of dick jokes and the fact that the cast was constantly swearing for no reason whatsoever made the whole thing even more cringe-inducing to behold. At least, as expected, the female cast (Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Ilfenesh Hadera, Priyanka Chopra) was quite gorgeous to look at but their characters were not developed at all which felt like a missed opportunity. At least, Chopra was a decent bad guy and it would be interesting to see her in something slightly less underwhelming. Finally, not only the plot was terribly tedious and generic, there was not a single reason why it required such an excessive long running time (around 2 hrs).
The Boss Baby (2017)
Notes: When I saw the trailer for this movie, it seemed pretty weak but my daughter thought it looked pretty neat so we still ended up watching the damned thing in the movie theater together. Well, eventually, I wasn't positively surprised by this movie, I'm afraid. Seriously, is it me or the concepts delivered by Dreamworks Animation are becoming only more and more pathetic? I mean, there was something pretty neat about this idea of a young boy trying to deal with with the arrival of his new baby brother (After all, Pixar already displayed with 'Inside Out' that you can make a great movie about a kid going through some huge life changing event) but, eventually, everything else was just so lame. I mean, seriously, a baby wearing a suit and talking like Alec Baldwin, trying to stop some complot from a puppy company? That was their brilliant idea?
The Snowman (2017)
Notes: Unfortunately, this movie was pretty much destroyed by the critics when it was released so I lowered down my expectations but I was still eager to check it out. Well, even though it wasn't a complete disaster, it was still seriously weak though. Indeed, the whole thing was just really poorly put together and I'm actually lucky that I read the book a couple of years ago because, otherwise, I'm not sure if I would have been able to follow the damned thing. What I missed the most is that while the story was not necessarily amazing (I actually preferred 'Phantom' from the same author and also involving Harry Hole), at least, in the book, the characters were really interesting but, in this movie, they were just all very poorly developed. I felt sorry above all for Michael Fassbender, easily one of the best actors of his generation, who got stuck playing nothing more than another drunk detective when Harry Hole was supposed to be such an intriguing character. It's a real shame because, with such a solid director and fine cast involved, the movie seemed to be at first a sure winner.
The Son of Bigfoot (2017)
Notes: When my daughter told me that she wanted to watch this movie, I have to admit that I didn't know at all what she was talking about which is usually not really a good omen. So, I looked it up and, honestly, I thought I looked really lame but we still ended up watching it in the movie theater together. Well, I have to admit it, it was not as awful as I expected it to be. I mean, it was still pretty weak but, at least, it was watchable. Furthermore, the animation, while not being anything groundbreaking, was decent enough and even the 3D effects were not bad at all which was a nice surprise coming from a Belgian-French production like this one. Unfortunately, I still had a hard time to care about the story. I mean, once again, it wasn't the worst story ever but it was still really generic and terribly boring.
Notes: Since I have never been a fan of the Transformers franchise, I wasn’t expecting much from this last instalment, especially since it was the lowest grossing film of this franchise (it still made $600 million worldwide though). Well, the whole thing turned out to be indeed pretty weak and it was easily the weakest instalment in this already seriously underwhelming franchise. In fact, I have to admit that there was some potential about showing that the Transformers have always been there in fact in the past but this idea was just so poorly developed. Basically, the whole thing was some kind of mix of ‘Prometheus’ with ‘Armageddon’ but it never worked. Seriously, it was just a overlong mess and it was in fact so convoluted that at times it barely made sense. Honestly, there was so much going on and, even though I saw it only yesterday, I’m afraid I forgot already half of it. Eventually, the whole thing was just so idiotic but also sometimes rather pretentious but, above all, it was again so boring and even the special effects which used to be quite amazing 10 years ago with the first instalment didn’t really impress me anymore. To conclude, this movie is basically the poster child for major franchise saturation.
Het Verlangen (2017)
Notes: It turned out to be indeed pretty weak and what bothered me the most was how predictable and lazy the damned thing turned out to be. Indeed, even though I knew nothing about the plot, within 5 minutes, I had already figured out what was going to happen, how it was going happen and how it would probably end. It's too bad because there were a couple of interesting ideas but, like I said before, it was just a lazy effort and, to choose the rom-com genre for this materical was pretty much the kiss of death. Indeed, I wonder if it would have worked better as a dark thriller. Anyway, the only thing I did enjoy was Chantal Janzen who looked just so stunning but, in fact, even her character was so poorly developed. I mean, it was just rather difficult to root for this girl as, during the first half, they constantly made fun of the fact that she was almost illiterate. But, then, during the 2nd half, they made a U turn and they tried to convince the viewers that she wasn't so dumb after all but the damages had already been done and this character had been pretty much ruined just to get some cheap laughs.
Notes: To be honest, even though Michael Apted is always a competent director and even though Rapace as usual nailed a solid performance, I really struggled to care about the damned thing. Indeed, by now, I have seen my share of thrillers dealing with spies who have been compromised and who spent the entire duration not only saving the world but also salvaging their reputation (wasn't it basically the plot for ALL the 'Mission Impossible' installments?). Sure, in this genre, it was probably not the worst flick I have seen but, eventually, it was still another cheap Euro thriller (For example, unsurprisingly, even though the plot takes place in London, most of it was shot in Prague). Above all, the ending was just so far-fetched and still terribly generic and it is just sad to see such a fine actress like Noomi Rapace giving it all time and time again for such unworthy flicks. So far, ever since she got her breakthrough with 'Millenium', she has been playing only in such underwhelming action flicks and/or thrillers of the same level, with the notable exception of 'Prometheus' which wasn't exactly amazing either. Maybe she should get the lead in a (really good) TV-show instead?
Rough Night (2017)
Notes: First of all, it was really neat that Scarlett Johansson would try something completely different, in this case, a lowbrow raunchy comedy. On top of that, the rest of the cast not bad at all (Jillian Bell, Zoë Kravitz, Ilana Glazer, Kate McKinnon). So, it seemed that they had the necessary ingredients to deliver at least something decent but, unfortunately, the end-result didn't really work after all, I’m afraid. Indeed, the main issue was that they came up with such a generic and, in fact, rather lame plot. Basically, it was some kind of mix of ‘Girls Trip’ (which was actually released the same year) with ‘Very Bad Things’ so it was definitely rather derivative. Furthermore, it is always tricky to make a comedy around a dead body. Indeed, in my opinion, the only way to make it more or less work, is to make the content really pitch-black and, even so, the end-result is usually rather cringe-inducing. In this case, to make things worse, they kept trying to make this group of girls still likable after what happened which was a mistake. Indeed, if you go that way, if you make the decision that your main characters will dump a dead body to cover their ass, then, you should go all the way and make them some truly heartless selfish b*tches. As a result, there was this huge contrast between the dramatic events taking place and the very light tone resulting in something terribly half-baked.
These are the worst movies I have seen which came out in 2017.
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