Top 10 worst movies 2014

Notes: I had heard of these hardcore Christian movies but it was the first one I saw but I was rather amazed and even appalled by the end-result. Indeed, the whole thing was basically some massive propaganda garbage based on the Rapture and it is rather scary and depressing that some people would actually believe that something like this will happen in the future. I mean, if I did understand correctly, it doesn’t really matter if you are a good or a bad person, it only matters if you put your faith in God and then, and only then, you will be saved and sent to Heaven. But it went further than that, apparently, you have to believe in the ‘right’ God since a Muslim who seemed to be a rather decent man wasn’t spared because of his faith. At least, they had the decency to save all the children regardless of their beliefs. Otherwise, everyone else, the drug addict, the gambler, the capitalist, the adulterer, the investigative journalist, the cute-opinionated-student-with-a-big-mouth, they were all pretty much doomed but, on the other hand, what really happened? Allright, millions of people just disappeared suddenly but would such an event suddenly bring the collapse of the World? I doubt that. I mean, with a massive natural disaster, a nuclear world war, an alien invasion or a zombie outbreak, I could understand why but I thought it was rather far-fetched that it would happen so fast in such circumstances. And, of course, the whole thing looked terrible, especially the cheap CGI, the performances were so weak and the dialogues were borderline laughable.

Notes: Basically, ever since ‘Toy Story’ was released 20 years ago (damned… I feel so old now…), virtually every single studio has been trying to get a piece from the new market of CGI animated features but, except for Pixar and a very few others, the results have been mostly underwhelming. This movie is a fine example. Indeed, even though it was apparently a box-office success, I thought it was just terrible. Indeed, the animation was rather poor and, above all, the story and the characters involved were just so boring. Seriously, they tried to be clever by combining 2 heists at the same time but it was really underwhelming.

Notes: Well, from all the lame direct-to-DVD features starring Bruce Willis I have seen recently, this must have been the worst one so far. As usual, Willis was displayed prominently on the promotional material and, as usual, he wasn’t even playing the lead character but that wasn’t even the biggest problem with this movie. Indeed, the biggest issue was that the story was just so generic and tedious. Basically, it was some kind of rip-off of such movies like ‘The Equalizer’ or ‘John Wick’ about an average guy who seems to have a dark past and happens to be an actual killing machine. Well, I have never been a huge fan of the genre and to see such a weak movie in this genre was just terribly tedious. To be honest, I’m trying to think if there was anything that really worked in this movie but, no, I can’t think of any redeeming feature.

Notes: Well, even if it was maybe not the worst movie I have seen starring Robert De Niro, it was still not far from it though. Basically, it was your typical cheap direct-to-DVD thriller, John Cusack’s speciality for about a decade, but you might wonder why De Niro would bother with this kind of movies at this stage in his career. Anyway, even if it wasn’t really a long movie, it still felt like it was lasting forever which is never a good sign. Concerning the cast, Robert De Niro was actually not bad but he basically showed up for only a few scenes. At least, De Niro seemed to have some fun but, on the other hand, Cusack seemed to be completely bored out of his mind and displayed the same conviction and commitment that you might expect from someone working at your local McDonald’s. Concerning Rebecca Da Costa, I have to admit that she was quite attractive and I can imagine that she hoped to get her big breakthrough by working with such big names. However, her character was constantly described and handled as a hooker and, while she did her best to convince the viewers that there was actually much more going on with this character, I was never convinced, or worse, I never really cared. Eventually, it’s basically the kind of movies which didn’t display a single original idea. Seriously, somehow, they even managed to squeeze in an ending directly lifted from ‘Seven’.

Notes: I actually saw 'Dumb & Dumber' in the movie theater when it was released 20 years ago but, to be honest, even if I should maybe check it out again after all these years, I really didn't like the damned thing, I have always been amazed that it is pretty much considered as a classic and, in my opinion, it must be one of the most overrated movies ever made. So, with this in mind, obviously, I didn't expect much from this sequel and, indeed, the whole thing was pretty lame confirming me in my beliefs that there was and there is still nothing funny about these 2 characters. I mean, I'll have to admit it, I did chuckle a few times but I didn't happen really often and most of the movie was just really painful to watch.

Notes: Well, even though I already had some low expectations, I still managed to be even weaker than I expected. Basically, it was just another cheap thriller and I was amazed by how little was actually going on through the whole thing. I mean, even if the running time was not even 80 mins, there were still some long stretches during which nothing much really happened at all. Then, the cast was just rather underwhelming. I mean, I have nothing against Max Minghella but the guy is just no leading material. Eventually, the only one who managed to do something slightly interesting with his character was JJ Feild but even he looked him a cheap Tom Hiddleston clone. Coming back to the story, seriously, the whole thing was just so lazy. I mean, not only it was just really generic and predictable, most of it didn't make much sense For example, why would the main character try to investigate what's going on just after he got fired? Then, why did it take him so long to call the cops? Even some small details were poorly handled like the fact that if a phone is turned off, you will always have to first enter the pincode before receiving a call.

Notes: It is rather disheartening that, 20 years after ‘Pulp Fiction’ was released, there were still making such shameless copycats. I mean, can you imagine ‘Pulp Fiction’ without its amazingly cool soundtrack, can you imagine if it would have been written by some hack instead of Quentin Tarantino and can you imagine if they would have added some lame self-help book to link somehow all the characters together? Well, this movie would have been pretty much the end-result. Concerning Stallone, I have to admit that it was actually probably one of the most interesting characters he had done in years but his character was not developed whatsoever (which could be said about every single character involved in this movie). It was also pretty neat to see the lovely Lauren Cohan finally in something else than ‘The Walking Dead’. Damned, she is really super charismatic but, unfortunately, pretty much like Stallone, she was given really nothing interesting to do here. Concerning the rest of the cast, there were quite a lot of B stars involved and they all did what they could with this material but I can’t say I cared about any of them. Coming back on the self-help book, the damned thing was unconvincing right from the start but it might have been slightly more efficient if Teddy Raymond would have remained an enigma. Instead, at some point, they decided to show his ‘skills’ and how he managed to cure another character of his nicotine addiction but it was just so pathetic and it made this book look even more idiotic than it already was.

Notes: Well, the damned thing turned out to be so much worse than anything I expected. Seriously, it was hands down the worst YA novel adaptation I have seen so far and you have a bunch of them out there which are seriously worthless. Eventually, the concept was basically some cheap knock-off of ‘Harry Potter’ switching witches with vampires but, above all, the biggest issue was that the execution was just awful. Indeed, they mixed some convoluted vampire mythology with some high-school comedy and a couple of half-baked romances and, even though this mix might have worked in the book it was adapted from, it never worked at all in this movie. I mean, right from the start, there was this seriously awkward intro during which who were the main characters, where they were, what they were actually doing, it was all seriously murky and it never really got better afterwards. Indeed, from this point on, they just jumped from one boring barely sensical scene to the other. The only silver lining was that the story at least slowly made more or less sense but the journey to get to the end was really bumpy and it was certainly not entertaining whatsoever. At least, I have to admit that Zoey Deutch tried really hard to deliver a plucky main character and I won’t blame her but there was not much she could do with this completely abysmal material. However, the rest of the cast (Gabriel Byrne, Olga Kurylenko, Sarah Hyland, Claire Foy, Joely Richardson) was completely wasted playing some poorly developed and really lame characters.

Notes: Honestly, I wasn’t really interested by this flick but, Nick, my step-son, really wanted to see it so I bought the DVD for his birthday. Well, I think he thought it was decent but I didn’t like it much. I mean, I always had a weak spot for Renny Harlin’s work, he has made a couple of fun B features but it has been a while since he made something really entertaining. This time, he tried to make maybe his most ambitious movie so far but the whole thing was just an underwhelming copycat. Basically, visually, it was in the same style of ‘300’, which seems to have become the reference in this genre and, storywise, it was almost the same plot as in ‘Gladiator’.

Notes: Well, 'From the Producers of Underworld’ was displayed prominently on all the promotional material and it was pretty obvious that the same guys were responsible for this flick. Indeed, instead of Lycans and Vampires, you get here Gargoyles and Demons involved in some obscure fight during our modern age. The fact that the main character was played by the famous Frankenstein’s monster was not nearly enough to make the whole thing stand out, I’m afraid. I mean, I always had a weak spot for Aaron Eckhart, I really think he needs a shot as a lead actor but it is not with a weak flick like this one that his profile will improve anytime soon. Indeed, I have never been a fan of the ‘Underworld’ franchise but this flick was even less entertaining (it was pretty much a flop at the box-office so you can forget any sequel).