Strange Dating Advice Books That Actually Exist

The Black Man's Guide on How to Cheat on Your Woman

I'm not sure what to make of this book...

The Blind Date Guide to Dating

Besides the redundant title, you should seriously reconsider life if you need help from this book.

Online Dating For Senior Citizens

I'd rather not think about my grandpa LOLing and OMGing his way into some geriatric woman's pants. What if he finds out how to use a webcam?

How to Tell if Your Boyfriend is the Antichrist

I cannot tell you how many times I wondered if my significant other was the Antichrist. Thank godliness that Patricia Carlin wrote this handy guide so I know that the fire-spitting and Satan-worship are sure signs we need to break up.

Boy Vey!: The Shiksa's Guide to Dating Jewish Men

Every woman should have this handy book in her arsenal. I mean, who wouldn't want to date a rabbi/doctor/lawyer?

The Layguide: How To Seduce Women More Beautiful Than You Ever Dreamed Possible (No Matter What You Look Like Or How Much You Make)

Tony Clink was going to title the book "Roofieguide" but felt it would have given the ending away too quickly.

The 50-Mile Rule: Your Guide to Infidelity and Extramarital Etiquette

I didn't know there was a certain etiquette you needed to follow for cheating.

Women Who Love Psychopaths

Who wouldn't love a man who at any moment could dismember you with a chainsaw and keep your toes as trophies? It's the epitome of romance in the 21st century.

Women Who Love Psychopaths - 2nd Edition

What really scares me is enough people bought it the first time to require a 2nd printing of this book.

How To Date A White Woman: A Practical Guide For Asian Men

I'm glad this is a "practical" guide. The last thing I need is a whole bunch of Asian men doing absurd things to court a white chick.

Getting Your Wife or Girlfriend to Become A Swinger

I'm pretty sure this book doesn't work, seeing as it isn't on the New York Times Bestsellers List. If it did, Adrienne Taylor has tapped into the powers of mind control and wizardry.

I Got the Fever: Love, What's Race Gotta Do With It?

Sounds like a great book right? Wrong.

Here's some of the chapter titles: Jungle Fever, Salsa Fever, Yellow Fever, Curry Fever, Shiksa Fever

Why do I feel offended just by reading them?

Shore-Tested Secrets on Landing a Mint Guy, Staying Fresh to Death, and Kicking the Competition to the Curb

I don't know how far fist pumping would get me as far as dating is concerned.

Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore

If you need help from him in the ladies' department, it's time to throw in the towel to Darwin.

Hooking Up with Tila Tequila

No, thank you, I like my romantic partners without crabs.

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

Who told Neil Strauss it would be a good idea to use the word "penetrating" in the title of his book?!

Make Every Man Want You - How to Be So Irresistible You'll Barely Keep From Dating Yourself!

Wow, this book is so insightful, it'll turn you into Narcissus. After finishing it, you'll probably spend all day planning a romantic dinner with your mirror.

Don't Date Naked

Hey, thanks, Smalleys. I was going to show up to the movies in my birthday suit, but this book made me change my mind completely.