Gaming Traits That Need To Die

The "Two Guns" Limit

I can understand the two gun limit in certain instances. The Call of Duty series, for instance, uses this rule to make for a more realistic portrayal of warfare. That series is all about realism.

But the limit is fucking out of place when transferred elsewhere. It's meant to be used to instill realism, but since when was Duke Nukem concerned with fucking realism? Duke 3D was fantastic fun as you got to pick up a variety of one-off guns and keep them in your arsenal without having to give them up. Here, you get novelty stuff like the Shrink Ray but have to give it up almost immediately to get, you know, practical guns.

Let us have FPS the old-fashioned way...please...

"Rechargeable Health"

In theory, this is a good concept, as you can hide while you wait for your health to recharge. But with rechargeable health, it takes like 5 or 6 hits for you to die. Back in the ol' days, we had a nice fat health bar accommodating far more damage, and you could find health packs around levels.

I can understand its use in some games (Wolverine, for instance, as the character's health literally does recharge according to the franchise lore), but it's poisoning too many other games.

No More Quick Save

Most console games no longer have quick save, and that's a huge issue. Nothing is worse than working through several challenging battles only to die and find that you'll have to do the challenging stuff all over again. Games used to have both auto save and quick save; a wonderful system which was fair to the gamer. This is dreadful.

Imagine if you have to leave home asap, but you have to get to the next checkpoint or die before you can leave. It's fucking stupid.

Challenging "puzzles"

Wolverine is meant to just be an animal who wanders around linear locations slicing people to shreds. This game for the most part gets it right, but the inclusion of various puzzles feels completely out of place. To the game's credit it has "Feral Sense" to help you sort out the puzzles, but at times the puzzles are utterly nonsensical. It's a fine line to walk between skilfully-designed, easy puzzles and irritating puzzles, and the game has too many in the latter category.

Linear levels are not always a bad thing...

Fucking DLCs and "Exclusives"

Back in the day, when a game was released, we got the full goddamn game, with all the bells and whistles included. Plenty of multiplayer maps (remember GoldenEye), and in general plenty to make sure that fun times could be had by all.

But now the game is being cut up and sold separately. Extra map packs. Extra characters. Pre-order the game and you'll get five extra guns and an exclusive map. Fuck sake, COD Advanced War didn't include zombies until months after its release, and you had to pay more. And when you're paying almost $100 per title, who wants to fork out another $25 per DLC?

Fuck this shit.

And then there are mobile games, for which you can pay money to make your life easier. Pay for new weapons, or pay to win the goddam game. What a joke.

Applying the GTA structure to fucking everything

You know what I like in my games? Direction. Momentum. I like having clear-cut levels and progressing forward in the game.

I do not like having to find missions by spending 10 fucking minutes walking from one area to the next, only to find it's some stupid fucking side errand that could even just be a session of fucking yoga.

I have given up on so many games because there's no clear through-line and you have to just wander from one place to the next, and 90% of your time, you're just wasting your time.