Adult Oriented Games - ranked by preference

Release Date: 1996 (NA)
Publisher: Alpha Denshi
Developer: Alpha Denshi
Genre: Action

If you've ever played Bubble Bobble and thought to yourself, "This game is fun and all, but you know what it needs? Nude, Asian women." then this game is for you. As far as adult-themed games go, which are usually complete trash, this one is actually fun. Miss Bubble II is a blatant Bubble Bobble rip-off with bubble-spitting mice instead of dinosaurs, new sprites for the enemies, and grainy pictures of lady folk in the background for you to look at as you play. The game even has two endings like Bubble Bobble, one bad ending for if you play by yourself and one good ending for if you can get a perverted friend to join you to the end. So, perverted video gamers rejoice! This is the very rare kind of game that delivers adult material along with gameplay that is actually quite fun.

Release Date: 1990 (NA)
Publisher: Kaneko
Developer: Kaneko
Genre: Action - Adult

Gals Panic is the game that inspired the infamous Miss World '96 arcade game. Gals Panic is basically just Qix with drawn images of young women in the background. The images have the women fully clothed at first, then upon going to the next level, they lose a little clothing...then on the third level, they're fully nude and beating that level rewards you with an actual photograph of the drawn woman. But, there's no guarantee you'll get those images. If you're not good enough or quick enough, you'll see the word "change" on the screen, and the image of a nude lady will transform into something comical, like a sheep wearing a pearl necklace and make-up. As far as adult-themed games go, this one isn't bad. If you like Qix, you'll like this game. If you've never played Qix, then maybe the humor or the lady folk images will be enough for you to give that style of game a try.

Release Date: 1996 (JP)
Publisher: Comad
Developer: Comad
Genre: Action - Adult

Miss World '96 is a game that if you've never heard of it prior to playing, you'll likely never forget it by the time you're done. It's basically a rip-off of Gals Panic, but with the gradual undressing of drawn women replaced with an actual photo of an already nude woman set as the background that you're trying to reveal. The other change, and the one that has garnered some attention to this game, is that the comical changes that happen when the picture of a girl turns into a picture of animals are replaced by images of horror. Perverted folks trying to see a picture of a nude woman could be instead greeted with an image of a multi-headed Freddy Kreuger or a red-eyed demon with blood oozing out of various wounds on its face. I suppose that is still pretty comical in a way, isn't it?

Release Date: January 25, 2005 (NA)
Publisher: Arush Entertainment
Developer: Cyberlore Studios
Genre: Simulation - Adult

I'll admit it. Playboy: The Mansion surprised me. I saw that the game had nudity and I immediately thought that this would be a game with absolutely no substance that relied on naked women folk to drive sales. While it's not a must-buy game by any means, this is still a passable simulation of being Hugh Heffner. Basically, you hold parties, mingle with people, and do your best to put out issues of Playboy each month so that you can continue to make a profit. It can be slow and boring at times - and overly simplified as well...But this is still a decent game that would be just as fun (or not fun, based on your tastes) if it were about putting out Polka Monthly magazine instead of Playboy. It's not great, but it's decent...and really, that's a whole lot more than I expected out of this game.

Release Date: 1982 (NA)
Publisher: Mystique
Developer: Mystique
Genre: Action

I don't really know where to start with this game...Nor do I have any idea how the people at Mystique/Playaround came up with this stuff. But anyway, Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em has you controlling two naked women on the street while a naked fellow on a rooftop, with his dingaling hanging out over the roof ledge, shoots his semen down to the street. Your goal is to catch the semen in the mouths of the naked lady folk. If any touches the street, it's game over. If they catch it all, they look at you and smile. It's rather disturbing. Perverted aspects aside, the game itself is mildly entertaining and may be the best Mystique game that I've played...But that's not really saying a whole lot.

Release Date: 1991 (NA)
Publisher: Panesian
Developer: Panesian
Genre: Puzzle - Adult

Bubble Bath Babes is mostly the same game as Mermaids of Atlantis, except instead of a mermaid at the bottom of the screen, there's a nude woman. The gameplay is largely the same, except the difficulty seems to be turned down a bit. When I get 4 or 5 bubble clusters in a row, with all four bubbles the same color, which makes them all disappear once hitting the top of the screen, I'd say that's pretty dang easy. You'll also get various cut-scenes between some levels involving scantily-clad women...If you're good enough, you'll see a nude woman as a reward at the end...Which isn't much of a reward since there's a nude woman at the bottom of the screen the entire time you play. But anyway, if Mermaids of Atlantis sounds interesting to you, but you want some pixelated nudity mixed in, then I suppose Bubble Bath Babes is the route you should take...Though neither option is very good.

Release Date: 1990 (JP)
Publisher: Panesian
Developer: Panesian
Genre: Casino - Adult

Peek-a-Boo Poker is probably the most...graphic, maybe...of the adult games on the NES. By graphic, I mean that the nudity actually looks like nudity. When you have over $2000 in winnings and Double Dealing Debbie is shown with her top off, you can easily tell what's what....Which is mostly why I didn't post a screenshot of that here on Listal. That said, the game itself is so-so. It's just one-on-one poker. That's it. It does what it needs to do well enough, but unless you're a die hard fan of poker, or that much of a pervert that you absolutely must see 8-bit boobs, you'll probably get bored fairly quickly here.

Release Date: November 24, 2002 (NA)
Publisher: Acclaim
Developer: Z-Axis
Genre: Adult - Extreme Sports - BMX

Wow. What a mess. Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX 2 was a really fun alternative to the Tony Hawk franchise...And then Acclaim had to follow it up with this trash, which Dave Mirra made sure that his name was not on. You'd imagine that despite Mirra not being in the game that they'd use the same game engine to make this just as fun, but nope. Anyway, the thing that makes BMX XXX stand out is that there are some females in the game with naked breasts as well as video footage of multiple, topless stippers. Well, in the Xbox and Gamecube versions anyway, the PS2 version has all that nudity edited out. Controversy is like free advertising, so if it was fun, it should have been successful, right? Well, the problem is that if this is the same engine from the Dave Mirra games, they modified it or something...Everything controls poorly in comparison. If the only reason you want to play this game is to see all of the stripper videos, save yourself some pain and just do a Google search for topless lady folk. The popups and viruses that you may have to deal with is probably less of a hassle than actually playing this game for more than five or ten minutes.

Release Date: 1982 (NA)
Publisher: Playaround
Developer: Playaround
Genre: Compilation

Let's face it - A Mystique/Playaround compilation is almost certainly destined to be horrible. I thought it'd be mildly good with the mildly entertaining Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em as one of the two games here...But the other game is Lady in Wading...A game that was never released as a stand-alone game. In this game, you're a naked woman that has to build a bridge across a dangerous moat while avoiding various obstacles in order to get to the tower on the other side of the water, where a naked prince charming is waiting for you. Unnecessary adult theme aside, the concept sounds like it could be fun...But unfortunately, it's not. It's a case where the developers seemed more intent on putting naked people in the game (and adding in animations of the two having intercourse in the tower) than they were in creating something that was actually enjoyable to play.

Release Date: 1994 (NA)
Publisher: Vivid Interactive
Developer: Vivid Interactive
Genre: Puzzle - Adult

Hey, a 3DO adult game that is actually a game!...And it's still terrible. Mind Teazzer is a unique blend of adult content and gameplay that you'd find in a Sesame Street video game made for toddlers. Want to see a scene of fornication? Not 'til you solve that match game, mister...or ma'am...whichever gender applies, I suppose. Since it actually makes an attempt to be a game, I'll give it some credit, but once you beat the ridiculously easy three game types, there's not much else to do here unless you're a perverted teenager that just reached puberty.

Release Date: December 23, 1994 (JP)
Publisher: Apollo
Developer: Apollo
Genre: Action - Adult

I've seen a ton of American 3DO "adult" games, but this particular was is exclusive to Japan...It has a concept of watching videos of three different lady folk getting topless and such, and you're supposed to snap pictures of them as they do so - basically, you're in the roll of a photographer. You've got eight pictures that you can save total, and after that, you've gotta delete images if you want more. If there was some sort of goal to strive for or anything, really, this game would be a little more interesting. But as it is, it seems to basically serve the purpose of taking snapshots of topless lady folk to gawk at later...Which might be a great time for perverts or pre-pubescent boys, but I found it to be dull and unrewarding.

Release Date: 1985 (EU)
Publisher: Landisoft
Developer: Landisoft
Genre: Action

Sex Games is, like most adult-oriented video games, a total waste of time. Hey, there's nude people on my screen having intercourse. Look at the pixels on that woman. I bet they're fake. Anyway, Sex Games can be beaten in roughly twenty-five seconds...And then you're done. The whole premise is moving your joystick (the controller, fellas, not the thingamabob between your legs) back and forth according to the images that pop up on screen. Do it enough, and you'll satisfy your partner and a "?" box will open up with a new position...Each box lasts about 5 seconds, essentially making this about as pointless of a game as you could play. The only reason the score isn't lower is because the controls work well...But that's honestly the only compliment I can really give it.

Release Date: 1994 (NA)
Publisher: Vivid Interactive
Developer: Vivid Interactive
Genre: Action - Adult

Vivid Interactive sure likes to use the term "interactive" loosely. Immortal Desire, like another poor Vivid game called "Sex," is simply a selection of five videos and you've got the ability to pause, play, skip ahead a few seconds, and skip backwards a few seconds...That's it. Unlike in Sex, Immortal Desire's videos all combine together to create one film...A very cheesy film about an immortal love that lasts generations and involves a few topless lady folk for no reason except that they wanted to include topless lady folk. Anyway, amusingly cheesy film or not, a VCR remote has more depth than this game. I recommend using that to watch a movie instead of wasting your time with this trash.

Release Date: 1982 (NA)
Publisher: Mystique
Developer: Mystique
Genre: Action

Custer's Revenge is, based on the description on the box, a game about rape. You play as a nude General Custer while he tries to dodge arrows of the Native American warriors in order to rape a Native American woman named Revenge, who is tied to a pole. Not only is this an extremely poor idea for a video game, the game itself is poorly executed. I'm thankful for that, too. I'm not sure how I'd feel if I had to type the words, "That rape game had a poorly-chosen theme, but it plays like a dream!" Hey, that kind of rhymed. Anyway, if I ever meet the mastermind behind this game, I'll gladly let their stomach meet the Duke brothers, Righty and Lefty. A one, two punch right to the gut.

Release Date: 1995 (NA)
Publisher: Vivid Interactive
Developer: Vivid Interactive
Genre: Action - Adult

I've said it before and I'll say it again - adult content CAN have a place in video games, but make sure that you focus more on developing the game than you do on adding boobs and such or you're gonna make a turd salad that nobody's gonna want. Sex is a turd salad. Feel free to take that quote out of context if you'd like. Anyway, Sex is a "game" where you watch five poor videos and have the ability to pause and skip ahead or forward while you watch chopped-up videos with the audio replaced by cheesy saxophone music. Basically, the way you interact with your television remote or a VCR remote (that's what we used back then, kids) is a deeper, more rewarding experience than this (I'm gonna say it again) turd salad.